i meet. i befriend. Be connected with a cell in the East.

i build. i lead. Be connected with a cell in the East.

i relate. i love. Be connected with a cell in the East.

i learn. i give. Be connected with a cell in the East.

Be your (better) self!

Usually when one stands out from the crowd to speak up, he invites criticism.

I knew I was born to be unconventional. Doing things in a different way, seeing realities from a different perspective from my peers. These 20% of people are... weird, not normal, not mediocre. Well maybe one day I will be able to drive a luxury car of my choice just because I think differently from the others. I knew that when I do certain things, pioneer certain choices, I stand the risk of being scrutinized. Right now, the things I do (so far) are successful and people look up to me, even older ones, who come up to me and say they admire my guts, my resilience.

But I know that if I make one small mistake and one failure, there will be many many people waiting to point their fingers at me and say that it can't be done. To me, failures in life are those who have spent years telling people 'you can't do this' without even trying for themselves. They assess the situation based on the negativities and with their limited vision, limit the people around them as well. I'm sure all of us knows someone like that. I've never been told what not to do, my career choices and lifestyle choices are mine to make. Of course, there are certain limitations, but I believe that my life is mine to own (and God's of course), no one can tell me I cannot do something just because it seems impossible to attain.

When I was young, preschool age, my parents gave me the choice of learning how to play a musical instrument. Being underprivileged when they were kids, they wanted to give me the best - and I could choose anything, from violin, flute, etc etc. I chose piano, and they bought an upright piano for me. Today... the piano is collecting dust on my balcony and being used as an alternative storage space. Perhaps some people would say that I've failed. By the way, I only managed up till Grade 3.

Making this choice has taught me how to make future, wiser choices in life. When I was young, piano playing was the 'trend' and probably a very good source of income too for the teachers! So, based on the limited information I have, I chose it. Along the way, I discovered my talent and interest for singing, drama, dance, and the arts in general. Although I never mastered any famous tune, I realised my passion for design. And if I was not given a choice to make at that age, I would not have realised what I wanted to do NOW. The piano is almost new, as none of my siblings had the interest to take it up. And there it remains, a reminder of my choice.

Some people still do not know what they want. Myself included... although I can envision the big picture taking place, I have no idea how to get there and what do I want eventually. But in making choices, I see that it is important to develop yourself first. In making life- partner choices - when choosing a boyfriend, this is something in our life that we have control over. If we attract loser guys, we run the risk of being a loser - like them, if each of our boyfriends were... loser guys. Thing is, do we realise this and change ourselves and our criteria?

If we do not know what we want, then don't blame God for giving us something we don't want.

I am introspective today because I've met many people recently , triggering my thinking. Everyone is always told to be themselves, but they never realised they can be their better selves! Choose to smile when you can frown. Choose to change when you know it's for the better. Why make choices just because your auntie said so, your grandfather said so, your friends said so... it's your life to live. And soon before we know it, middle age is creeping on us, and we find ourselves parents, but yet not really to grow up.

Health foods...

From the new health junkie: Foods that are GOOD for you!

Shall aim for 3 servings of fruit a day. Plus milk.

=)

Apples
Protects your heart
Prevents constipation
Blocks diarrhea
Improves lung capacity
Cushions joints
Apricots
Combats cancer
Controls blood pressure
Saves your eyesight
Shields against Alzheimer's
Slows aging process
Artichokes
Aids digestion
Lowers cholesterol
Protects your heart
Stabilizes blood sugar
Guards against liver disease
Avocadoes
Battles diabetes
Lowers cholesterol
Helps stops strokes
Controls blood pressure
Smoothes skin
Bananas
Protects your heart
Quiets a cough
Strengthens bones
Controls blood pressure
Blocks diarrhea
Beans
Prevents constipation
Helps hemorrhoids
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
Stabilizes blood sugar
Beets
Controls blood pressure
Combats cancer
Strengthens bones
Protects your heart
Aids weight loss
Blueberries
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Stabilizes blood sugar
Boosts memory
Prevents constipation
Broccoli
Strengthens bones
Saves eyesight
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Controls blood pressure
Cabbage
Combats cancer
Prevents constipation
Promotes weight loss
Protects your heart
Helps hemorrhoids
Canteloupe (Is those melon, orange and crunchy one!)
Saves eyesight
Controls blood pressure
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
Supports immune system
Carrots
Saves eyesight
Protects your heart
Prevents constipation
Combats cancer
Promotes weight loss
Cauliflower
Protects against Prostate Cancer
Combats Breast Cancer
Strengthens bones
Banishes bruises
Guards against heart disease
Cherries
Protects your heart
Combats Cancer
Ends insomnia
Slows aging process
Shields against Alzheimer's
Chestnuts
Promotes weight loss
Protects your heart
Lowers cholesterol
Combats Cancer
Controls blood pressure
Chili peppers
Aids digestion
Soothes sore throat
Clears sinuses
Combats Cancer
Boosts immune system
Figs
Promotes weight loss
Helps stops strokes
Lowers cholesterol
Combats Cancer
Controls blood pressure
Fish
Protects your heart
Boosts memory
Protects your heart
Combats Cancer
Supports immune system
Flax (A kind of wheat)
Aids digestion
Battles diabetes
Protects your heart
Improves mental health
Boosts immune system
Garlic
Lowers cholesterol
Controls blood pressure
Combats cancer
Kills bacteria
Fights fungus
Grapefruit
Protects against heart attacks
Promotes Weight loss
Helps stops strokes
Combats Prostate Cancer
Lowers cholesterol
Grapes
saves eyesight
Conquers kidney stones
Combats cancer
Enhances blood flow
Protects your heart
Green tea
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Helps stops strokes
Promotes Weight loss
Kills bacteria
Honey
Heals wounds
Aids digestion
Guards against ulcers
Increases energy
Fights allergies
Lemons
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Controls blood pressure
Smoothes skin
Stops scurvy
Limes
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Controls blood pressure
Smoothes skin
Stops scurvy
Mangoes
Combats cancer
Boosts memory
Regulates thyroid
Aids digestion
Shields against Alzheimer's
Mushrooms
Controls blood pressure
Lowers cholesterol
Kills bacteria
Combats cancer
Strengthens bones
Oats
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
Battles diabetes
Prevents constipation
Smoothes skin
Olive oil
Protects your heart
Promotes Weight loss
Combats cancer
Battles diabetes
Smoothes skin
Onions
Reduce risk of heart attack
Combats cancer
Kills bacteria
Lowers cholesterol
Fights fungus
Oranges
Supports immune systems
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
Strengthens respiration
Peaches
prevents constipation
Combats cancer
Helps stops strokes
Aids digestion
Helps hemorrhoids
Peanuts
Protects against heart disease
Promotes Weight loss
Combats Prostate Cancer
Lowers cholesterol
Aggravates diverticulitis
Pineapple
Strengthens bones
Relieves colds
Aids digestion
Dissolves warts
Blocks diarrhea
Prunes
Slows aging process
prevents constipation
boosts memory
Lowers cholesterol
Protects against heart disease
Rice
Protects your heart
Battles diabetes
Conquers kidney stones
Combats cancer
Helps stops strokes
Strawberries
Combats cancer
Protects your heart
boosts memory
Calms stress
Sweet potatoes
Saves your eyesight
Lifts mood
Combats cancer
Strengthens bones
Tomatoes
Protects prostate
Combats cancer
Lowers cholesterol
Protects your heart
Walnuts
Lowers cholesterol
Combats cancer
boosts memory
Lifts mood
Protects against heart disease
Water
Promotes Weight loss
Combats cancer
Conquers kidney stones
Smoothes skin
Watermelon
Protects prostate
Promotes Weight loss
Lowers cholesterol
Helps stops strokes
Controls blood pressure
Wheat germ
Combats Colon Cancer
Prevents constipation
Lowers cholesterol
Helps stops strokes
Improves digestion
Wheat bran
Combats Colon Cancer
Prevents constipation
Lowers cholesterol
Helps stops strokes
Improves digestion
Yogurt
Guards against ulcers
Strengthens bones
Lowers cholesterol
Supports immune systems
Aids digestion


Ok, eat healthy tip of the week!

Sending Ange off to Oz

My nerdy look

Someone spoiling my photo agh!

Incoming Ange...

Who is that...

I see someone coming...

The final shot!

A glass of milk and superman

spirited advice: a glass of milk everyday.

Think my blog is going to become those health freaks' blog.

Today I envisioned myself cooking those organic food for my children and having a macrobiotic diet. Nah... I'm not so disciplined. Still love my chicken curry beehoon and curry puff and bbq chicken wings...

But yes, I do love milk. Although it's hard to get. If not for my fridge at home having a 2 litre bottle of meiji milk, I wouldn't get my nutrition. It's important for tall people like me to build up my bones. Read that calcium supplements doesn't work at all! =(

Well...

Apart from my detox regime, hope to drink a glass of milk daily. Plus eggs. Eggs are really good too. Rich in nutrients.


Superman Returns. Did like the movie, it somehow grows on you... though I remember one part I was feeling really bored.

The part I liked the best was the piano-part... where the mean bouncer guy plays the tune with Jason... and then... gets killed by the piano, hahaha...

Plus Lois murmuring ."I forgot how warm you are."

And Richard, her 'fiancee'... I thought it incredibly corny to have her marrying an X-men. Was that why Scott died so fast, so that he could film this one? Anyways thought James Marsden looked great in the show, better than his unkempt character in X3.

Detox : My personal plan

I am quite a health freak as I'd like to know what goes into my food before eating it... That said, I've been on a detox (not strict though) for the last 3 weeks and here is my personal plan!

PS: I've lost (unintentionally) 1.5 KG!!
Uhh, it's good for me not to lose too much because as you can see from the photos, I'm categorized as 'slim', already. Still it feels good to lose abit of baby fat.
First 5 days : Lost 1 KG, put back half.
Next 2 weeks(not so strict): Lost 1 KG!!!


Total loss so far: 1.5 KG
Side Effects
Good: Tend to sleep longer but peaceful sleep with no nightmares and deep sleep (I'm usually a light sleeper!)
Good hair days! more often than not! Hair seems to be growing lustrous and thickly, too!
Feel more healthy overall.

Bad: Mouth ulcers (don't know if due to heatiness after the first 5 days of strict routine)
Mood swings - (Heard also because ulcer medication causes mood swings)
Cravings for food...


The spirited Detox plan!

Here, my detox plan made easy. Really easy.
Just remember these simple steps.

Fruits - Eat at least 3 servings a day of different fruits. After a while, will get craving for fruit.
Try different fruits such as water chestnuts, guava, banana, soursop, pineapple etc all found at the local fruit store.

When eating out, bear in mind you can only drink:
1. Water.
2. Green Tea (no sugar preferred)
3. Fruit juices, fresh

No coffee or tea... but if addicted, try to limit to one a week.

Food: Follow the simple regime of no oily, no fried, no spicy. No red meat (Duck also red meat)...
Just simple fish and chicken, lots of tofu, yogurt, veggies, clear soups. At food court, go for the yong tau foo with lots of tofu.

Yogurt is easily available nowadays. Try yami yogurt or meiji ones are delish!

Subway is a good choice just go easy on the dressing.

Cheese and crackers and good snacks, so are muesli bars.

There you have it, my simple detox plan.

And you will find your fats eliminated!

=)

Not too sweet...

For those of you who adore Fisherman's Friend, or drink Diet Coke because apparently seems to be calorie-free and sugar-free.

Yesterday advised my friend against drinking Coke Light during dinnertime because of the possible side effects.

Not many people know this but you see, Coke Light contains 'phenylalanine'... Maybe some would ask, what in the world is that? It's a form of artificial sweetener known as ASPARTAME (Check the ingredients on Fisherman's friend or any sugar free gum or candy.)

Actually I got interested in it because I suspected a slight allergy to Xylitol - found in one Eclipse mint a friend passed to me. In a group of about 10 people eating the sweet, only I felt an itchy throat and started to cough because of the itch. In fact, the itch persisted and only after drinking some water, it got better...

I've read before that artificial sweeteners are WORSE ... not better, than sugar... as it can cause bloatedness, indigestion, etc.

A website says about Phenylalanine (which is found in Coke Light and I'm sure some other drinks)

Phenylalanine is a hidden danger to anyone consuming aspartame. Most consumers don't know that too much Phenylalanine is a neurotoxin and excites the neurons in the brain to the point of cellular death.
ADD/ADHD, emotional and behavioral disorders can all be triggered by too much Phenylalanine in the daily diet. If you are one in ten thousand people who are PKU or carry the PKU gene, Phenylalanine can cause irreversible brain damage and death, especially when used in high quantities or during pregnancy. Phenylalanine is 50% of aspartame, and to the degree humans consume diet products, Phenylalanine levels are reaching a dangerous peak.
It is important to learn about the ingredients within your foods, especially isolated amino acids like Phenylalanine. They are in combination within nature for a reason - they don't belong in isolated form for the healthy human diet.

Nutrition fact about Phenylalanine in aspartame:
The 1976 Groliers encyclopedia states cancer cannot live without phenylalanine. Phenylalanine makes up 50% of aspartame.
Phenylalanine is one of the essential amino acids found in proteins, but I am one of the believers that amino acids should be eaten in combination, not in isolated form. Nature provides amino acids in combination; only man isolates them for processing purposes.
Phenylalanine is found naturally in foods such as eggs, milk, bananas, and meat. If you are PKU (Phenylketonuric) or sensitive to phenylalanine, you will react to the phenylalanine in aspartame. You may want to get a blood test to check for this condition. Over the past 20 years, humans have become more aware of PKU reactions because human beings began using isolated phenylalanine to the degree it is harmful to some individuals, many as aspartame side effects. My suggestion would be to research PKU and phenylalanine extensively. Phenylalanine can be very harmful to diabetics.
Read all food labels and avoid anything with isolated amino acids. You want to buy products with at least eight amino acids in combination.

Which artificial sweeteners are safe?

http://www.healthcastle.com/sweeteners.shtml

Information on aspartame

http://www.sweetpoison.com/

Me and Jees! At cine

Fyon and friends

He is huge!

Superman Returns movie!

Confessions on a Monday

Checklists and wishlists, ass off.
What's the point of writing when you don't believe it anymore...

Every once in a while I like to ask myself questions.
Quizzes are good for the soul when your mind is wandering to insane depths.

Wakeup time today?
8am. Real wake up time at 11am.

What woke u up?
My handphone alarm. Then my thoughts.

What song are u listening to?
Cascada's Everytime we touch.

Have u had ur meal?
French toast and watermelon.

wad school r u in?
University of Life

hw old r u?
Old enough...

do u have any pet/s?
Hamster and boyfriend

dumped people?
Quite a few

phobias?
Not telling... maybe being lonely

spiders or lizards?
Any other choices...lizards then.

Believe in miracles?
Definitely. Hard not to believe.

Worked as a salesgirl/man?
Isn't that my day job?

any plans todae?
Yes, waiting for them to happen.

A happie person?
Nope, not really.

Sadist?
Depends on the situation.

Kisses or hugs?
Hugs. Don't really love kissing.

What model is ur handphone?
No idea man...

In love now?
What do you think...

How does it feels like?
Being in love should feel like being in love, isn't it...

Does he/she knows?
Does he even know his own feelings is what I would ask.

If u cld grant a wish now, wad wld it be?
I'd like a million dollars please!

If u could have one thing in this world, what would it be?
Happiness.

If u could be a person, who would it be?
Myself. (Boring....) Okay, Paris Hilton? But more decent. Wolverine. With healing ability.

Felt so happy till u cried?
Don't think I'd ever cry being happy, but who knows?

Failed so badly in test that u swore to work harder?
Well, the last time that happened I did not go for the next test, haha! Its better to work harder in subjects you are goodas your effort is more appreciated then.

Favourite subject/s?
Trend analysis, psychology.

Best in wad subject/s?
Study of human psychology. Good at spotting polar bears and liars.
Also good at English and design...

Worst in wad subject/s?
Anything to do with numbers.

What drink/s do u like?
Water, mocktail blends with lavender, camomile, fruit juices, cranberry, snapple, starbucks frappes.

What drink/s do u hate?
Wheatgrass. Anything green.

Do u wan to turn back the time?
Yes please.

Why?
I should move on, but my past affects my future happiness though I did not wish it to be so.

Ever cut urself? hw does it felt if u had?
Yes. Feels sadist.

Best friend/s?
Mr BestFriend and Ms BestFriend. Celebrities in their own right, names are protected.
Shiner and Travis are pretty much covenantal prayer buddies as well

Do u love ur friend/s?
A lot. Whole darn lot.

Were they dere when u're down?
Of course. It's me who was not there when they are down, lousy.

Do u cook well?
I believe I will, but now, not at all.

Do u sing well?
Used to, before my weakened lungs couldn't blast now...

Do u dance well?
Well enough to perform for church events.

Ever participated in a singing competition?
No

What do u like?
Nostalgic things.

What do u do when u're sad? cry?
Ya, then? laugh meh...

What do u do when u're realli happie?
Run about and talk animatedly, grab and clutch people around me, tell everyone why I'm happy, jump around...

Can u ride a bicycle?
Can. But don't like.

Can u roller skate?
No man.

Would u sit & watch the stars alone?
Why not?

What are stars in ur opinion?
Supposed to be specks of rocks or dust in the atmosphere that reflect the moon's light (or sun?) But I like to think they are angels watching from above. =)

What special powers do u have?
The ability to tell a polar bear from a villager.
The ability to write dark poetry.

What special powers do u wan & why?
Healing properties. Or forgetting properties.
To make the world, my world, a better place. No more hurt, no more pain.

Have u loved sm one nd regretted it?
The capacity to love does not include a regrettability factor.

What will be ur last words?
It's been a long journey... ... .... ...

==


Seven qualities that your boyfriend/girlfriend must have:
A sense of humor.
Praying for my success.
Tall & Handsome.
Quality Time.
Touchy.
Faithful.
Love me.


Seven things i do everyday:
Sms.
Drink water.
Pray.
Sleep.
Walk around.
Take bus (Sigh...)
Think.


Seven things that make me smile:
Small gifts or treat from people.
Photos of my darling.
PEZ dispensers.
Motorbikes
Stepping into Trinity
Waterchestnuts!
Gathering with old friends


Seven favourite food of yours:
(Those I eat regularly)
Crab mayo sandwich
Cookie choc chip...
Mashed potato
Ice Cream - gelato pistachio or belgian choc flavour
Subway italian
BBQ chicken wings
Prata

Darn, all unhealthy save one.


Seven favourite drinks of yours:
Camomile tea
Sencha
TehC bing
Ovaltine
Mocha frappe or milk shakes
Orange + Green apple juice
Grenadine


Seven things you cant live without:
My EZlink card...
Handphone
Clean water
Moisturizer
Massages
Comfortable walking shoes
Love


Seven things you're in love with:
Colin
Colin
Colin
Colin
...
(Ya, I know he's not a thing...)

Seven top brands you like or use:
Marc Jacobs
Clarins
Elizabeth Arden
Aldo
Bree
Watson's !!!
Nokia


Seven bestest friends:
Jesus
My boyfriend
My handphone
My bag...
Sunnydale
Trinity
Water

Seven most doted friends:
My fingernails
My handphone
My skin
My body...
My brain
My darling
My hair

Seven most fun places you've been:

(In the last few months...)
China Square 2nd floor
Wheelock Place
Tiong Bahru old walk up apartments
Jackson's
Night Safari
Sunnydale
Fullerton Hotel's toilet


How many times can you honestly say you've been in love?
puppy love once.
soulmate once.
serious husband material once.


Do you believe that everyone has a soulmate?
Only those with souls. I believe I have.

Do you think that you should become friends with someone first?
Starting off as enemies would bring about a better outcome perhaps.

Have you ever had your heart broken?
It has been shattered many times.

What do you think about long-distance relationships?
Sweet. Proves that its not just about sex.

Your thoughts on online relationships?
Not for me, but I've seen successful marriages as the outcome.

Would you rather date someone five years older or five years younger?
Your age is all in the mind. I've been told I think 5 years older though so... ya.

Have you ever seen a friend as more than a friend?
Only in the hallowed imaginations of fantasy.

Do you believe the statement, "Once a cheater always a cheater"?
I'm sure the statement has some truth to it. But for me I think everyone has hard times, may not be a true reflection of who the person really is.

Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt & you cried?
Seems to be. Cannot be cry for fun, right?

How many kids do you want to have?
Zero to two.

Is there someone who you like at the moment?
Who?

Do you usually fall for a wrong guy/girl or the right guy/girl?
Maybe I'm the wrong one...? It takes two.

What is your favorite color?
Purple.

What are your views on gay marriages?
I wonder who does the housework...

Have you ever broken someone's heart?
I guess.

Have you ever given or been given roses?
Yes on both sides. Always nice to be on the receiving end.

Are you the one who makes the move or do you wait for them to make the move?
It's okay for girls to intiate but after that the guy must move.

What is your all time favorite romance movie?
Movie - Romeo and Juliet? Memoirs of a Geisha?
Book would be Jane Eyre.

Imagine you're 79 & your spouse just died, would you remarry after they died & you were married for 60 years?
No, I will never be able to forget him.

At what age did you start noticing the opposite/same sex?
K2.

What song do you want played as you walk down the aisle?
Which aisle? Any romantic song la...

Are most high school kids infatuated or in love?
Most are in love, but the way they act is like infatuated.

What was your first love(like)?
Dreamy eyes, slacker mode, long winded on the phone, speaks good english.

What's the longest you've ever liked someone?
2 years.

Would you give up everything for love?
If the love gives up everything for me.

Will your life be incomplete without love?
Isn't that why everyone is searching for the better half.

What do you notice first in a guy/girl?
Silhouette. Manner of speaking.

What do you like most about your crush?
Crush your head la.

Do you like someone?
...

Want to get married?
YES !

To?
A nice guy.

Last person who hugged you?
A toy lion who looked at me as if he understands.

siberian husky edit with pink gradient

experiment with pshop - trixie

Stand up, stand up...

Chinese medicine points to one's diet or emotions as potential causes of such symptoms of 'heat in the mouth'. Greasy/fried foods or 'energetically hot' food (for example: spicy food, alcohol) may also trigger mouth ulcers. Emotions such as anger, frustration, resentment, or stress can also impede the proper flow of one's energy and create 'heat' in the body, with such manifestations as mouth ulcers, red eyes, sore throats, insomnia or constipation.

Great.

I have two canker sores in my mouth (left and right!) and one on my tongue and one red eye and a horrid tummyache churning.

Hope it gets better tomorrow. Meanwhile shall have a quiet night at home for once. =)

Been impacted by people around me recently, shall share these thoughts. Met a guy whose only goal in life is to get married and have kids, such a simple wish but maybe to some, it seems impossible. Be it due to their busy work schedules, or lack of looks, the typical life of blissful love and marriage seems to evade them. The guy also shared about how, a few years back, he was actually engaged and even had bought a condo for their impending nupitals. Alas, the fiancee shortly broke off the engagement, stating they were incompatible. It's things like these that are real-life shockers... but they are one of twists and turns in life.

Over avocado juice and yummy hawker food, some female colleagues and I were talking about the usual, men, relationships, what women want. The conversation was highly interesting to me as instead of the usual christian talk about criteria and looking for a godly mate, these are women from all categories of life. One was married, one was an older single, me in my twenties and two in their late 20s and one who was attached, in her 30s. I'm beginning to love my colleagues - there is no politics, no bitching, just plain honest sharing about what they felt. So blessed to have people of this kind in my company!

We talked about our loves, and the one who was attached promptly revealed she was living with her boyfriend of 6 years, who was 8 years older than her. She said she did not see the need for marriage as neither wanted any kids, besides did not want to conform to Societal norms. Being the youngest, I just observed more than I spoke in this conversation about men and relationships. After all, it is her life and I did not want to dictate the right thing that should be done. But, I'm amazed at the rest of the ladies who gave such excellent advice in such high EQ ways that I can only applaud. They said that, if he really loved you, he will and should offer you this assurance (marriage) in the form of a proposal. Even if both of you are happy about the status quo, things will be easier if both takes the step to marriage. Things like finances, even if he is unconcious in an accident, you will only be able to see him if you are the wife or a blood relative.

I was blessed by the conversation, even though they were not christians, they had such high moral standards and yet came across in a way that was not legalistic or dictatoring. Have to learn from them! Making a stand in this world is tough. Was impacted to voice out over certain things I feel strongly against. Have not been doing that for long, maybe in a way, over the years, I've 'toned down' and decided to listen first instead of voice out. But sometimes, I tend to keep my own feelings to myself, telling myself that it's none of my biz and I don't want to bother other people anyways. But at the end of the conversation, I could see that the lady who was attached was somehow moved, yet not offended by what they say. I believe these colleagues spoke with wisdom and knew the right words to say, to her.

For me, I will choose to voice out, the next time.
Stand up for Jesus.

did a photo collage of us... pending printing

sunnydale cell - multiplication in process...

TGIF ramblings

Incoherent ramblings on a Friday afternoon.


I wonder... why do I need so much sleep and why does caffeine affect me, but not other people. I wonder if mad people are really demon possessed or not. I wonder how situations and incidents can strengthen friendships, yet the same friendships can be so quickly lost if one party just neglects to make the effort. I wonder if someone whose prayers are all not answered, would they still have the faith to believe in God?

Hmm.

If all the people in the world were blissfully happy, then who would be unhappy? And would happiness be valued in the sense that it is, now, if that were the case? Do I need a majority of people to feel unhappy so that my happiness has a greater value? For most of life, we have a choice. Mostly we can choose what to eat, what to buy, etc. So why would we be unhappy about our purchases/food choices unless we are generally unhappy about life itself and this stems from an inner root issue not something that can be handled easily. You have to understand yourself first before you can even begin loving another person. You have to handle your life first before entrusting it to another man. More importantly, cherish the ones you have now, instead of constantly looking out and forsaking all the current friends and loved ones.

I was quite touched when one of my ex classmates kept trying to organize some gathering, a simple dinner with the rest of us. Unfortunately weeknights I'm usually fully booked, so I always could not make it. But I do treasure such opportunities to meet up with old friends, even though we were never close in the past. It's maybe half a year since the activities of last year has come and gone, do we still remember with fervency the people we used to pray with, to share with? Do I remember my dreams and what I've hoped to accomplish in this year or are they just overwrought with the daily grind of activity? Sometimes people in my life I do take for granted. Especially when you see them almost every other week. But when they are long gone from your life, you will start to feel a sense of loss you can't even narrow down, why...

Although I will not be the one to organize these reunions and outings, I will still make an effort to be there. For the old ones and the new.

My toys...

the snake says hi

Faces of Indon kids, 2005.

This one cannot...

This one...cannot lah!
Why?
Aiya...just cannot loh...

Having had the privilege of speaking to many single guys and girls lately, I am quite intrigued by the dilemna of such. I know guys (and girls) who are looking for that special someone, I know of an eligible pilot who flies for sq (tanned, hunky but not very tall) who is wondering where is the special girl who will love him enough to marry him... and other wonderful females who have 'no problem' in every sense, just that no guy is wise enough to realise that. And my dear friend Shiner who likes this girl for a really long time, only to not do anything about it, and now heard that she is attached. Is it his fault for not moving in earlier, or perhaps it was wiser this way? Perhaps a shorter anguish is better than a long term relationship that comes to nought. Also, deep within I felt that this girl was not suitable for him, in many ways.

But for the girls who are reaching 'a certain age' - time flies, and before they know it, they are reaching that dreaded number without a man in sight. I usually make friends with older ones, so, I have the time on my side to learn from these, and perhaps take a few precautions for myself.

I've seen one of my dear friends hanging around with 'auntie' sorts, unfortunately, although they make good friends, I am sure that this will not do wonders for her social life. She too, has admitted to me that she needs to widen her social circle. She is shy but appears to be sociable, perhaps her main fear is not really being able to communicate well with the opposite sex. I find these women fall in love way too easily, the way I see them being heartbroken over and over again by some guy who does not understand their feelings.

Maybe, it's they who do not understand themselves.

The other sort I've seen are those perfectionistic types who expect too much out of life, out of men. Perhaps they are the Type A types - workaholics and over achievers. But being in a relationship and falling in love is not just a result-oriented game where you can get what you want just by putting in effort. Some relationships fail, some succeed. And usually, we have to keep an open mind. Don't just rule out a guy because he doesn't look good enough, doesn't earn enough, just not my type, this one cannot, that one cannot. All, also cannot. What, do they think that God made only one man on this earth for them and they have to find him 100% suitable? I guess on one hand, they have unrealistic expectations. I too had unrealistic expectations before! (when I was younger) And... it was because my unrealistic expectations were met at a young age with a guy whom had everything I wanted and I wasn't even looking for him! (And now, I've found someone even better!)

And on the other hand, it's a case of sour grapes. Maybe they think that the guy will not find them appealing, so it's a case of, reject them first... This is what I've seen many many many instances, the girl will always say they are not really interested - they are the type that would NEVER say they are really really interested anyways! (And if they are interested, they would say, hey maybe tell me more, I can always recommend him to one of my friends.)

So, even if the guy did have a bit of liking initially he would end up with someone with a little more spunk. They are the types that will evaluate themselves too severely and if the guy loses interest, they would complain to their girlfriends, 'Why he don't call me? Am I too fat/boring/crazy/etc?'

End result, these girls, who are perfectly nice creatures end up without a nice man in the end.

If they are not willing to change, rest assured that the next one wouldn't stay for long either. IF prayer alone helps, just look at all the nice, single girls available in church today. One of my friends who is only a year older than me has already given up. It seems she has given up on our guys, but I think she has given up on herself (and her unrealistic expectations). Then there are those who say they do not mind being single, unmarried, alone, when honestly I feel they shouldn't be saying such things if it isn't their heart's desire. Who knows, it might turn out to be that way, in the end, and then I don't think they can complain.

I say, it takes action. With some advice from trusted friends, do what it takes. Change your hairstyle? Lose weight? Wear some less-auntie clothes? Smile more? Just little changes, habits that can be formed and done effortlessly with a great impact. Same advice to the guys out there... Change a little and your whole life can be transformed, why not? The choice of a mate is one of the most important choices you can ever make, I feel...because it determines your life.

So, why even restrict yourself from having this choice? When you actually can make it happen by a few simple changes...

Detox 5 day over: Some thoughts

Initially I went on this detox diet to see if I can lose weight /improve fatigue and skin!

The results, after just 5 days is great!

Although emotionally - felt unstable - I think because of lack of support all around and also due to PMS, felt really lousy about self at times, and demoralised too. A friend told me detox should not stop consuming carbo because the brain needs the glucose levels to function... Perhaps it's because of that. Although sources I've read online said consuming rice is okay, I did not eat rice at all during the 5 days. Personally I also don't like rice much, and my family has a variety of foods so it was a coincidence this week I did not eat rice also.

I lost 1 kg... and actually felt 'lighter' despite the water retention due to PMS... My skin usually gets breakouts during this time, but I seem to be glowing from within. I also tend to apply moisturizer on a daily basis as the skin tends to be drier during this period. The Johnson's one for baby night sleeping - with camomile and lavender is good for my skin, I find most moisturisers too oily and cause redness for me.

I simply cannot believe I lost 1 kg during 5 days just by cutting down on carbo and eating more fruits, muesli... It's quite wonderful. Only felt hungry during the first 2 days or so, got used to it after that. In fact, some period of the day din feel like eating at all. Oh, and loads of water and green tea is good. Normal tea, which I can usually consume, makes me trembly. I also felt cold easily during this period of time (low fat?) And I still ate a bit of potato chips and brownie!

More of: Fruit (Always drink nothing but water, fruit juice and tea while outside), tofu - I usually don't like this but can find in yong tau foo, the egg one is nice!, Muesli - My family always has muesli bars, I eat one on alternate days at least. I ate fruits like - water chestnuts, bananas, apple and orange juice, even durian.

Avoid : Meat, especially red meat. I don't fancy fish much so usual intake is minimal. I usually abstain from pork also, so I only have to cut down on mutton and beef. Took chicken as usual but in smaller portions. I intended to 'half' my carbo intake but in the end took very little carbo, only keeping my usual sandwiches and potatoes. Love mashed potato! Also did not take any fried or oily stuff. Incidentally, no chilli as well(altho I simply love spicy) perhaps in healthy foods, chilli is not added. Only took abit of chilli padi with chicken yesterday.

And, I did not do my usual gym or kickabout club exercise... But still walked far distances in my line of work.

I shall detox again next week, more stringently. =)

http://www.fruitarian.com/ao/FruitOnly.htm

Detox - personal plan

Shall be on a detox plan this week, realised I've been overworking my body with too many unhealthy stuffs lately. Keeping a journal of sorts of what I've been consuming.

I'm going to do it without any supplements, just going to follow some simple rules I've set for myself. Hopefully I can do this long term, for up to two months... to monitor the difference. It's an experiment on myself to see if I do lose any weight - yet eat as much as I like, the only difference in it being that its healthy foods.

I set myself standards on NOT eating: No red meat, no overly spicy foods (at least keep to a minimal), half my carbo intake, eat a healthy breakfast.

Actually have not eaten any rice so far, either... Think I'd only consume sushi or the very nice economical rice when I'd have cell.

Monday did not take note of what I was eating.
Day 1 (Tuesday): For breakfast I ate a plain rice cracker and camomile tea, lunch was a brownie and a meiji yogurt, dinner was a healthy yong tau foo.

Wednesday breakfast was 2 cheese biscuits plus milk, for lunch ate tuna sandwich with apple orange juice. Muesli bar for teatime. For dinner did not each much -no food at home! Two fried fish eggs on the stove. Mushroom soup and 3 pieces of hard wholemeal bread.

Thursday... a banana for breakfast, very filling... had yong tau foo, for lunch - lots of tau foo and no beehoon added. Snacked on kaya toast and tea. No food at home, ate a tau sar piah plus some cheese chips (ruffles! cant resist) and 1/4 of a kuih.

Today (Friday): So far I've only consumed some mashed potatoes I've found waiting for me on the stove, plus a glass of milk and a slice of walnut cake. Muesli bar in my bag, perhaps meet my darling for a bite or get some stuff at home!

Don't know if this is really detox... as I've ate some junk too... Needed the salt from the chips as I felt my body getting a bit shaky... and feel weak from a long walk. Well, let's just see how it goes.

Dreams and what they mean

Been having vivid dreams lately! Quite intrigued by it, it's been a while since I could remember my dreams ...and these are really detailed dreams. At the same time I wonder what they could be telling me. My dreams lately all involve death - theme of death is strong in the dreams which I have almost nightly. Nothing much to worry about though, I read up online and the sites say, these theme of death means there will be a change, or I'm preparing for a change in my life... and the death theme, could also symbolize fear.

I do know myself pretty well so I'm quite surprised to have these dreams lately. Maybe nowadays I don't give enough time to myself to introspect like before. That is why these dreams pop up. I can't remember the last time I had such dreams... maybe its been years!

Which is better for my psyche actually, I feel less 'dark' and being in touch with myself. However I find that I cannot handle the internal stress that I produce at times, just wanting to shut off
from everyone and keep to myself.

The first dream: I am in a school which is actually a big house, the school is run by two ladies, one of which is more senior (something like a boarding school) and there was one day only the two ladies, me, and a boy who was my playmate left in the school. It was a stormy, gloomy afternoon when one 'uncle' came to the school with his wife and I think kids, and grimly told the matron that the school had to close, as he was the rightful owner. The uncle was related to my playmate, as his family somehow owned the land or something in that area... So quietly without the uncle knowing, we told the boy to go to his Mum's place to ask if the guy really was related, because it was all so fishy. He cycled off in the pouring rain. Unbeknownst to us, he collided with a car on the way, and died on the spot. We were still anxiously waiting for him to come back when his spirit tried to speak to me (as I was closest to him), by flipping some books, changing the scenery in the painting that hung over the fireplace, little details that only I would notice. Then strange things began to happen, the ducks in our aviary ... suddenly one duck laid 8 eggs or something... quite eerie. I woke up before it ended, remember feeling saddened and scared.
This dream happened last last friday.

The second dream: Set in a local area but not anywhere I know... I was walking at night, down a pathway cutting though an open field. I was watching myself in this dream like a spectator. There was a man (uneducated look) wearing a yellow polo tee holding a scissors and wanted to slice my neck with it. He was walking behind me as I walked down the path... but, I saw an auntie that I knew, someone loud and boisterious. I waved to her and she happily joined me...we went for dinner together at this kopitiam. I did not tell her about the man with the scissors. But eerily, I saw him again at the kopitiam. I alerted one of the guys eating there, someone tall and slim and looks real strong, to help us to apprehend the guy as the auntie dialed for police and waited... End of the dream, I felt strange but not as scared... just strange.
This dream happened wednesday night

The third dream: Was on this path again, this time it's super crowded and full of people, but it seems to be in an ang-moh company. Suddenly the people in front of me about 200-500m away just blew up! Apparently there was a terrorist attack and everyone just went crazy, screaming and running in all directions. I froze to the spot and frightened, couldn't move. End of it I felt really saddened and scared and feared death...it came so close to me. Later I realised that area had a cluster of bombs circling the whole area, and all the people on the 'outside' were bombed and the people in the 'inner circle' remained safe. Of course, in that big crowd there weren't many who happened to be standing inside. I did remember thanking God I was not dead...
This dream happened friday night I think...


Yea so... wonder what other dreams are next and what they represent.

Why pretty gals have so many hang-ups

It is a foregone fact that pretty girls seem to attract the wrong type of men... most of the time.

I don't mean those that are JUST pretty - like me (hahaha!)... like those pubbing-type of girls with nicely manicured nails... I mean those drop dead gorgeous kind, yet accessible in terms of height and social standing to the mass majority of menkind. Those who are blessed with a physique that is out of this world, yet seem to do minimal maintenance. Those with fair (or tanned) faces that once glanced upon seem etched into one's memory like a haunting, alluring visage that beckons... COME...come. I also know of drop dead gorgeous men, my friends, fresh faced and the ultimate gentleman that girls will just swoon over. Yes, they do attract those pubbing-types...

But why do pretty girls have so many hang ups? I think the main reason is something to do with the way they attract. Face it, men are attracted to beauty like bees to honey. So pretty girls do tend to attract those long-lasting kind... and also, those ugly kind. Somehow, the handsome ones find them 'okay only'. Maybe the hunks need someone less spectacular to make them stand out more. Ask the hunks I know, most of the girls they fancy or girlfriends are common-looking to say the least. Those ugly kind... really cannot make it kind... usually won't prefer someone of their standard. So they'd go at least a bit higher. Maybe it's the ego boost when they see photos together which makes them look so good. No one would scrutinize guys' looks as much as girls, anyway. I know of one guy who was just TALL... and nothing else to speak of... he went awhile with a drop dead gorgeous girl... it improved his market value tremendously. And soon, all the girls were talking about him when he became single... like he's so stunning. But actually I think it was the drop dead gorgeous girl which boosted his macho-ness.

And undoubtedly, the pretty girl will have hang ups because of the ugly men they attract.

Firstly some of them will be insecure. They will always wonder, how long is this going to last? Will she be attracted to a better-looking person? What if someone else who is richer, more handsome, more intelligent, ... comes along? Then will she leave me... and etc. This propells their insecurity which the pretty girl has no idea how to stop this chain of thoughts. The guy becomes possessive in a sense and will make snide remarks about the other ugly guys the pretty girls attract. But the more snide remarks they make, they become insecure.... because without the pretty girl they will be JUST ANOTHER UGLY GUY after a pretty girl too!

Very soon they realise that this is no fun at all. When push comes to shove, most ugly guys end up breaking hearts. Which leaves the pretty girl in a rut. She will be wondering whether the guy likes her for her brain or beauty.

If the pretty girl encounters more than one man of this pattern, she will begin to wonder, Is it me? Am I attracting this kind of people? Why... etc... and goes into depressing thoughts. Whether it's her dressing that is too salacious, whether this, whether that. She becomes insecure of her own image and is afraid to express her true self to people easily, losing trust in them as she begins to wonder if they like her for who she is, or otherwise.

Meanwhile, the ugly guy usually wakes up to reality and finds an ugly girl, marrying eventually.

Have you heard of single women (desperate single women) asking, what kind of guy is right for me? What should I do to make myself more presentable (or words to that effect)...?

Have you ever wondered why this guy, so ugly still can get married, still have a presentable looking woman who will give birth to his kids?

The world is not fair. Sometimes beauty is a curse. In some industries it is. Beautiful girls get looked down upon for their competency just because they look a certain way. Hunks get more criticised because they look like they can charm the socks off anyone and expect a certain amount of attention.

That is why pretty girls have so many hang ups.

Sale, sale...sale!

Oh yes.

I am a window shoppaholic (that is good right, save money and get more 'educated')... Due to the nature of my work I am able to walk around many metropolitan areas in sg, mostly concentrated to those located in the CBD area. No such thing as cannot find good and affordable stuff in the upmarket places, even in upmarket places there are store with good bargains.

And shoes.
Shoes are the bane of my life, having been born with small (but broad) and delicate-skinned feet. Those who know me will have had the experience of me telling them about the horrendous blisters I get when I slip into a nice pair of open-toed heels. Even flats are out of the question for me as anything that touches my heel will leave it raw. The last time I wore nice, expensive heels, my ankles ached for days and I had an infected blister on top of another previous one, on my small toe on the left. Sigh. I have some friends whose feet will feel absolutely nothing while wearing mango stillettoes, or cheapo Far East Plaza shoes, or even when standing on those stone embedded in cement that is supposed to make your blood circulate... I do wish for less delicate feet, but there is a plus point to this - I am never tempted by any shoe sale, ... I used to be... I bought my many pairs, but now all are collecting mold and cockroaches and whatsoever in my shoe cupboard.

And, I save money because I really wear my pair until the wood shows, and I do have to invest in pricier shoes most of the time, for added comfort level. I saw a pair I really liked at ALDO, not sure whether it's a Canadian or US brand, but they seem to be expanding here really fast. It looks classy enough to go to work yet nice and relaxed too with slacking clothes for sunday. My honey has promised to get it for me, how sweet... =) Hope it fits.

Back to the sale, not much of a sale I think... M)phosis has good bargains but then again, the stuff really looks dated. Oh, I do like the current trend of polka dots, so tempted to buy one of those cutesy babydoll shirts with buttons and lace on a polka dotted background... The stripes in red and white, or blue and white looks great too... just that I know I'd only wear it once or twice and then I'd get sick of it.

I used to have a 'wardrobe rule' - as I'm such a chronic shopper previously, would blow my allowance on little trinkets and cheap clothes (but not cheap looking okay) and ... go broke for the rest of the month. I'm poorer now since I'm working for my own keep... haha.

The wardrobe rule used to be, never buy anything new (of the same type) unless the last thing I have bought has been worn, at least twice. The problem with my wardrobe is that it looks empty. Too big, too airy and my clothes take a really long time to come back to it (Large family, small washing machine.) So, I am always looking and find nothing to wear. In the context of work clothes, of course. I have too many of those type of abercrombie and hollister tees that I won't buy any more - unless I don't have that particular color, haha! (I recently bought an orange one.) So... no more tee shirts that is final. For sleeveless I am really picky picky so I don't have that many... just american brands to cover my long torso.

I am very happy to find shoddy looking shops that offer more than what is the expected norm - those ah lian clothes in horrid warm fabric and priced really expensively, ones that all the girls now are wearing... terrible fit, and too too pricey for that material. Pay abit more and go for Topshop if you are into this kind of silhouette. I've trawled Bugis Village and Bugis area, no good clothes. City Plaza in Paya Lebar has a really good find - this shop that sells pretty, pretty dresses by designer labels for a steal - cannot confirm it's authenticity but the material looks genuine. Bought a lovely pink and black dress, silk chiffon ... nice for weddings and stuff! They have unique jeans too which I think is genuine A-list brand... all women. So far I still think City Plaza at Paya Lebar is the best haunt. The ah lian clothes there are cheaper too. I plan to go there every month! The korean brand clothes are lovely too, abit mature, nice work styles. Trawled Raffles Place area these days. It's funny to say that I don't really know my area well even though I work here. I've been told there are lots of good places to eat and stuff but I usually grab a bite at my office's inhouse cafe. So well, had some time off yesterday and randomly walked to places I don't usually walk to. There is a BLUM-like store with one-piece designer things. Big sizes tho, but not very expensive at all. I do like BLUM, always salivate at their nice blazers and wonder if I will look too power suited in them. Bought brownies at this place for my honey, I alway walk past this shop but never bought anything from them until one day - a small chicken pie. I must say it's really fabulous. Shall try the cheesecake and other stuff, soon!

And... my efforts of trawling were rewarded, at the back of all the ah lian clothes shop in Change Alley, found a decent looking shop with a few pieces I like, which looked nice and ... nice material too. Most of all, it's affordable. Tried 3, bought one. Was told of good deals next week with the new stock by an often-unheard of male storekeeper in a female clothes store. Well, I'd definitely be back. Southaven is not having sales yet. And gg<5 is not really on sale. Well... that's all the GSS reports for now! I'm going across the causeway this sat... Shop more. Not much to say for their stuff... but at least there is one shoe store that fits me fine.

It's called Mixit. Nice place, decent looking shoes. Yay! I can't wait!

bbq

xi nu ai le

whippet

focus on the apple!

movies movies

Failure

What is your definition of success?

Realised that so many people are talking about this topic. Even Church has a series on it. Success. Getting to mean so many things to so many people today.

Previously when I was young, Singaporeans' definition of success is the 5Cs. Cash, Credit Card, Car, Condo, Country Clubs. Many took up golf just because it defines your social status. I remember long luxurious holidays in Malaysia, soaking up the sun on beaches with white sands... Whether or not you can afford weekend golfing trips. How many cards you had - being approved by Amex was a big thing, and even bigger was a supp card (for us underaged then...)

Now the word success means so much more.
Cutie asked me two days ago : Am I a failure?

I replied emphatically, YES! But your definition of having failed determines your success. Read about so many people failing and failing and yet, they are respected. Because of their attitude towards failure. My Trainer, P.Gordon, says that he is not concerned for those who have not reached success yet. He is more concerned for those who have their successes too easily.

One of the few friends from college I keep in touch with is getting married this year. Minh was the top student of my year 2 class who scored top distinctions. But to the horror of most of us (and to the glee of some), she quit in second year to work for awhile. Not enough money to carry on her studies. After working for two years, she went back to school and graduated near the top. During her work stint, she met a nice guy and fell in love, and they are getting married. Minh has only worked a year. Same age as me, she is now saving hard for her wedding.

Tough life? I would think so. But Minh never complains, when others get their new clothes and comfy life so easy, and she has to work so hard and scrimp every penny for it. Her mother is a seamstress and her father sharpens scissors for a living. Yet she is the most positive, optimistic girl I've ever known. I remember the time when she volunteered to photostat some history notes for the whole class - a heavy stack of them. No one else would do the dirty deed. I helped her, it felt good to do something for people without being appreciated... And when times were hard, I encouraged her with kind words. She never thinks about herself, always helping others. I'm glad for the time I managed to be able to help her in some reports - an expertise I always had, now an asset for helping others. Getting married is no easy thing, especially when there are so many burdens on your mind. I wish her true happiness...

Success. I think that failure make you successful. Big Boss once said, someone should know (when they are successful), what made them successful. Otherwise they are not truly successful.

I wonder how many more failures are there for me? One thing I know for sure, no more failed relationships! haha.

We make a great team!

Very excited.

Me and the nice guy I've dated just started a blog... Not to write to each other those lovey-dovey sweet nothings (There, I'm cringing again!), just to pen down what is in our hearts, introspectively. Someone I can share anything to without much anxiety of him being immensely weighed down by all the deep sordid stuff, nor too emotionally affected. It's called "Meeting at the intersections" - a prayed that was prayed by someone and affirmed by us, from the start,
www.meetingattheintersections.blogspot.com

On my online forum, I think (or hope) my views have been respected...was pleased to receive a email from someone who asked my opinion on his relationship.

He wrote:

Hi!Thanks for responding to my post.

I hope not to be shitting on you as it may come out to be, so well, I will not unload everything on you. Or I hope not to!!!

Anyways, I have been after this woman for about 1/2 year already and well, we connected well since the beginning and it's not an initial thing as we have very much the same thing today and it's a lot deeper.

Thing is, she has depression and it makes it very hard for her to make a commitment towards us and well, in every other way she shows agreement but here she shys away. I know why and it's hard to live with I suppose.

But I am not giving up and well..... Anyways, I would like to know if you have friends like that? Who have been hurt before badly and now finds it hard to trust again. What did it take to overcome it?

It's all a little sketchy isn't it?
Anyway, I hope to hear from you. And u have a very good day!
regards, X.






And I replied:
Hey!

No worries.. I don't claim to be an expert of such matters, but maybe I just like to help people and offer my 2 cents' worth of advice.

You mentioned the girl in question has depression, is it being clinically treated? In my church I have had the opportunity to help some depressed people - and I was also depressed myself recently. It's very heartbreaking for me, because some of them could not snap out of it by THEMSELVES. First hand, my best friend(guy) 's ex girlfriend committed suicide because of her depression issues about a year ago. If you believe in God, I personally believe that depression cannot be treated by counseling alone, it must have a spiritual side to help to CURe it. Medicine does not work. Medicine only supresses. Talking it out does not work. The relief/results is only temporary and it will come back.

Only through God's help can anyone overcome depression.

For those who have been hurt before ... Humm... I believe everyone, even those who have never been in a relationship before, have emotional 'baggages' in their lives. Some more, some less... it's a matter of accepting that u have this issue and wanting to get rid of it. Thru out our lives, we have accumulated a lot of 'clutter' along the way. No matter what the issue is, you have pointed it out to her, she has to decide if she is going to live with it her entire life, or not. This is a decision only she can make for herself.

I'm glad that she has found someone who loves her enough to try to understand her problems and is willing to walk them thru. Your not giving up attitude is inspiring.

And... the nice guy I'm dating, replied:

I believe you are probably surprised how i get to know about your email and even responding to it..well, just to offer some suggestion if i'm welcomed.

sorry to hear about your situation with your girl or girl -to-be in any aspect, depression is never a person's choice or it can be as well. confusing as it may seem but its not exactly that difficult if sorted out carefully.

lets put in plain words, we are blessed with a thinking process and we are also blessed with emotions to feel and shower feelings. experiencing with these gifts can often time bring about joys and sometime pains as well. In fact, your girl is definitely not the only one who is in such a state, be it mild or severe - its still a state for concern and snapping outta it is important and it will help if the person involved is willing to keep an open heart and open mind about things around her/him.

i had also been wrapped up in multiple depression as well, be it from emotional setbacks or career challenges. and not matter how i prayed and try to snap outta it i can never, never...and i realised through a prayer and soul searching session, i had a revelation aka mental breakthrough of the term depressions - which is when you put emotions into your problem and everything just get gel up and thus matters gets worse or even outta hand.

I begun practicing to separate emotions and problems, even those heartbreaking ones and i must say it helps like no other ways. I.E if its a breakup and you cant handle it, separate your mind/thinking process from the emotional pains and solve this heartache like a cold issue...i practice it and it worked!!! well, you may say its takes the mind to know how the heart feels, yes you are not wrong..i had that struggle and i will suggest to isolate that part of your heart to single out the issue/s and take it out or simple 'kill' it. very academic it may seem but i bet you i works better than dwelling in it which it will become a mega snowball which will overrun the person.

In short, be a friend to her, listen and guide her. for now, just put your intentions aside, if you truly care for her well being because at this point in time, she needs an assuring friend more than she would in a boyfriend. Intentions and any romantic acts or words will only remind her of her fears and separates you both further than you can ever imagine.
Take care my friend.
Cheers!!

=)

Isn't that what I call an empowering couple ministry... can imagine we offer this service to people around us...In my opinion, we make a great team!

The Hotel and Cavenagh bridge in foreground

Across the river, Maybank Tower on a cloudy day

Full moon at Caltex House, night.

Sepia shots which brings out the mood

Big Five Test Results
Extroversion

62%
Orderliness

40%
Emotional Stability

82%
Accommodation

64%
Inquisitiveness

62%


The Big Five is currently the most accepted personality model in the scientific community. The Big Five emerged from the work of multiple independent scientists/researchers starting in the 1950s who using different techniques obtained similar results. Those results were that there are five distinct personality traits/dimensions. Here are your results on each dimension:
Extroversion results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.
Orderliness results were moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, random, scattered, and fun seeking at the expense of structure, reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.
Emotional Stability results were high which suggests you are very relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.
Accommodation results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly kind natured, trusting, and helpful at the expense of your own individual development (martyr complex).
Inquisitiveness results were moderately high which suggests you are intellectual, curious, imaginative but possibly not very practical.

Head over heels

God's timing - the right timing. - Luke 01

Did not really want to blog words this month, but some things cannot be left unwritten in the journal of my life.

And, I am falling in love.

How is it possible, I might ask myself. A believer of rationality, I forsake my core thinker mode and let my emotions take rein of me. The person in question, a really sweet chap who charmed his way into my heart with his character and the way he loves God. How is it possible, that I would even consider something like this - if someone had told me this would happen, I'd laugh my head off. But in God's mysterious ways and wonderful timing, He allowed a little romance to come into my life - and now I am helplessly, beaming, tenderly, head over heels in love with someone special.

I knew exactly why he came into my life at this point of time. For me, reasons unknown, have always thought that I liked guys which were the 'engineer' pattern type. For years, I've been looking in the wrong direction only to realise recently that this pattern definitely do not like my type. You know. A bit toot and wears checked shirts. Quiet, analytical, computer people.

But recently, as I venture out into the corporate arena I realised that actually I'm attracted to extroverts with a dynamic personality. I always liked younger guys, younger than me even, but only recently I began to be more open towards older ones. Slowly, God is moving me to break even the tiny mindsets which I never knew I had. I asked God many times over the last year, why did I have these encounters which caused me to be so... strung up, so wound up... and now, I realised, it's to prepare me for the best one.

At the start of the year, I knew it's THIS YEAR that I wanted someone. Specifically I remember what I told my cell to pray for me. To pray for me, to fall in love with someone I can spend the rest of my life with. In the Leaders' cell, I shared to the group something which I had never shared before. My last relationship, 5 years ago. We had committed to each other promises we could never fulfil. I thought it best to go separate ways after 911. Now, I was in no-man's land. Literally. Though guy friends were plentiful, none were suitable. So, we prayed. And I remember something about 'meeting at the intersections' - Pel prayed, with others agreeing. Some found it strange that I would be so concerned about this matter - after all, I am on the young side, in fact many would say, 'still young, la'... Somehow I knew that this year, I wanted something to happen, and I was ready for it, though I could not possibly imagine how it could happen. This is one of the three 'big' prayer requests for my life this year.

And I met a nice guy.
Someone who is everything I've ever dreamed about and even wants to live in a shophouse.

He touched my heart when he shared that he prayed to God telling Him this is the girl he wanted to marry.

He touched my soul when he shared about his love for God, and feelings for me.

In matters of the heart I cannot say that I am fully experienced or know totally what I am feeling. But I believe that... God, this person is the best one for me.


je savais que je voulais l'epouser quand j'ai place la premiere fois mes yeux sur lui.

=)

Open sign at cafe under Six Battery

Streetlamps reflection on wet pavement

Hotel guy

Fullerton on a rainy day.

Art I like at Esplanade gallery

Florist at Raffles Place MRT - their flowers are the best!

Fullerton Hotel rainy, Cavenagh bridge at background

Warm lights at Holland V coffeeshop with church mates

The siberian husky's name is Lala...

And she has different colored eyes - blue and hazel

View from The Office window - Casino-to-be in background

Friday night hot date at Clarke Quay

Blueberry cheesecake on saturday Core meeting at Mad Jacks'.

Tree at Neeram Road - rainy day today

The Office, side corridor

First time touching guitar this year

A touch of romance between two cups

Moody shots

Love comes first

I've noticed...
Some people are so absorbed in work that they cannot find relationships, or is it the other way around - they cannot find relationships and so they get absorbed in work. Can I have both, please. I've seen many successful men and women who get to the top, often to find themselves single, lacking in that one aspect of life that seems to be the most important. After all, emotional bonding is a necessity. Love is a necessity, at least for me. I've seen people who function extremely well when feelings are not involved, yet get into a mess because they cannot fathom the emotions that seep deep into the abyss of their soul, something they have ignored for the longest time. Perhaps only when they are on an overseas trip, be it a holiday, or some traveling to be done, then the pangs of loneliness sets in and they look searchingly at the horizon, wondering if they have given up too much, or dreamed of too little.

I've met many eligible guys in their 30s, many nice single ladies, both in my office and outside, people I talk to, people I've come to be friends with. When it is no longer possible to be with someone who is totally right for you, are you willing to settle for less? And if there is no one you can possibly imagine spending the rest of your life with, would you want to spend it alone? Is there no alternative solution for our increasingly single society. It's not as if they do not want to get married, perhaps this has never really been an important agenda for them in the life with so-many-things-to-do. Yet I see wistful longings on their faces when I tell them excitedly about my youthful dreams of relationships and kids, of a husband that loves me. I see the pangs of loneliness on their faces when I gush to them about the dates I've been to, the guys I've seen. Perhaps in listening to a young girl's dreams they remember once, that they had the capacity to love, and be loved in return.

career path

Your Career Type: Enterprising

You are engertic, ambitious, and sociable.Your talents lie in politics, leading people, and selling things or ideas. You would make an excellent: Auctioneer - Bank President - Camp DirectorCity Manager - Judge - LawyerRecreation Leader - Real Estate Agent - Sales PersonSchool Principal - Travel Agent - TV Newscaster The worst career options for your are investigative careers, like mathematician or architect.

What's" Your Ideal Career?