Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Karenina

Been reading "Anna Karenina", the book I bought at a second hand bookstore in Hong Kong, Stanley Street. Written by Leo Tolstoy, the same guy who brought you "War and Peace", super-long tome of whatnots, I was a bit apprehensive at this thick one, too. But it was called "The world's greatest love story in all literature", so I had to read it.

Surprisingly, it was easy to read, at least for me, perhaps I could identify that certain themes of love and suffering run in the same vein all through time. Reading it, I felt pity for the main characters, yet knew that their situation was one which they had made themselves... emotions are brought through in a kind of delicious suffering which their lives actually longed for, for this kind of suffering is better, than the worst kind - a dreary life of boredom. And perhaps that is the way it is for me, too.

The way Tolstoy writes it, it was almost as if he knew it, breathed it, and lived in such a time, describing everything from the peasants to the court monarchy of Russia in the 18th century.
Definitely worth the S$6 bucks I paid!

The Hong Kong trip was fun and I have written my own starter guide to exploring the city...to be published here soon... I'm glad that the traveller bug in me is still around, halfway through I ached to take photos of the quirks I've seen, only lamenting that I did not bring the camera, primarily because it was in Taiwan, with my brother...and also because I did not want to be troubled with taking photos, knowing that city pictures often do not turn out as well as countryscapes.

I miss Kie now that we've officially 'separated'... I know I am disgusting but I really look forward each time he drives me home, not only for the drive, but for the company. He has been my faithful listener each cell session I led...and I enjoyed the times he led immensely as well. During our Sentosa picnic I was just trying to memorize all his features, and the usual, silly grin he has that makes me giggle uncontrollably. I hope I am human enough to appreciate all that he has done for me, and never to forget such a nice buddy like him. Ah... I do have some anxiety. Imagine, now that our group has so many cars, I am seldom left with him, or left alone with him all to myself. Multiplying has some emotionally damaging effects! Nevertheless, I am glad that finally he can shine through, I really needed to vacate the position so that someone better than me can stand the test of time. Sometimes I feel as though I don't care about anything, or anyone... Maybe I should just focus on making money... Then again I don't care much for that either... But I know that a little voice inside tells me that I really care. Lots. Although sometimes I really don't feel like, or I don't think I am.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Hong Kong Starter Guide!

Hong Kong....Kowloon Hong Kong...

Somehow that song keeps running in my head whilst walking the streets of HK...haha.
Yes, first time to HK. Glad to have more experienced ones around me, knowing all the good food, good fun and good places to shop. I think in HK, there is something for everyone. So here, my very own rough guide to Hong Kong for first time visitors!

Hong Kong... someone has said that there is a certain magic in the air to make people stay... and once you leave, you are sure to come back.

Shop

First day, shopped around the Ladies' Street (Loy yan kai) and Jordan Street area.
The Ladies' street is so called for its merchandise initially targeting women and their children, but today it sells mostly everything, especially imitation goods. Dvds with the latest shows (Better deals in Msia though), ladies' handbags and clothings, montblanc pens, ties, earrings, chioiserie, doggie clothes and baskets...etc. At Mongkok Station.

For more upmarket shopping, SOGO has 5-6 levels and really good shopping! Love the toys especially the huge range with most not found in Singapore. Sylvanian families twice the size of the Taka display... Many Sanrio products, a remnant of my childhood favorite. Glad I could buy a "My Melody" ruler and the blue-boy eraser for my siblings. Lots of miniatures now that is all the rage here... Chair series! Wish I could get the whole range but I was on a limited budget. Many made-in-japan disney collectibles also, especially toy story, monsters, stitch and nemo. SOGO located in the Causeway Bay area.

Harbourcity has a fantastic view of the Harbour with cool shops, Marc Jacobs and other labels not found locally. Also, M&S had a sale so we got pretty good buys for a low price! The "Fish Street; and Jade Street" near Mongkok station is a fantastic sight to see with packets of fish lined up like balloons in a row.

Stanley market has the usual touristy stuff like jade pieces, linenware, artists' impressions and watercolor scenes, silken thingys, ceramics ... Not for me though I did spot a couple of interesting toy shops. They sell realistic looking toy guns for HK$150. I was tempted but did not dare carry it in. A really wide range of stuff and good bargains available, so it's a must for a first time visitor. Some factory outlets clothes also. A really nice view of the sea and the old prison, plus interesting performances at the village square. Many gwailo eateries. Best of all, avid dog-watchers can spot many interesting breeds. HK is quite an animal friendly city, most people have small dogs and there are many pet shops all around Causeway Bay area. I spotted a cute borzoi with a fancy hat, giant golden retrievers, poodles, terriers and the occasional sheepdog. Even a huge St Bernard!


Food
1. Famous 'lao po ping' wife biscuits found at the basement of SOGO. Also can be found at the Airport, but much cheaper. SOGO b2.

2. "Sweet Dynasty" - has over 60 desserts, all natural ingredients. Must try the soy bean "tofu pudding" as it is called there, tow hua here... Comes in a barrel and you can scoop out as much as you want for yourself. After eating it... beats the one at Rochor anytime. I don't care much for tow hua but this one is really a must try. Also the other desserts are all good, especially the almond 'hu' and sesame 'hu'. Smooth and not as thick and starchy as local versions. They also serve a range of other local food.
The Sweet Dynasty, 88 Canton Road, Tsishatsui, Kowloon.

3. Ever heard of "cha shao bao" in... steamboat? Yes, I've tried it here and it tastes simply delicious. My colleague said it's the first time she saw me eat that much!
Also tried wild black boar meat from Japan for the first time.

The fun part of the steamboat was this fish-paste thingy which came in a cone... we were supposed to squeeze it out into the soup, voila! It became noodles, thick, like udon kind but nicer! I volunteered to squeeze it most of the time hee.

My favorite was the "corn bao" and the beef balls with piping hot cheese in the middle.

Best!

With their really good sales, my budget really counted for a lot in Hong Kong.
With S$170... I bought:
1. 2nd-hand book : Anna Karenina (Classic by Leo Tolstoy)
2. 2 LeSportsac pouches ! I like v much!
3. Korean drama DVD for Jennie
4. 4 Esprit undies
5. 1 Esprit bag, overnighter sized
6. Esprit tee
7. Toy mini motorbike, choroQ brand
8. Disneyland keychain - metal lilo and stitch
9. Sylvanian milk rabbit on baby toilet
10. 3 tubes M&Ms, 1 Poko milk sweet tin can
11. 1 miniature can Asashi, + diet coke + apple juice
12. 1 Victoria Peak photo group shot by professional guy
13. 5 toy horse and warrior figurines for Superdude
14. Sanrio ruler, eraser with roller, Hello Kitty red packets
15. Kewpie baby!
16. Frog head umbrella
17. M&S shirt for Travis
...Amazing isn't it. The only thing I regret? Not buying more!!! I should have bought more Esprit stuff, the Chair toy series... etc etc etc.



And a really, really nice part of the trip - while at Stanley market, we actually saw a movie being filmed! Some police story... the star? Simon Yam!!! He looks good. Tanned dark brown and tall, good build too. We watched how they took 3 takes for a 5 minute sequence eating and dialogue at the police canteen. Way cool!


Spiritedly's dun-miss!
1. Don't miss the MTR - Seamless traffic, people are orderly and well behaved even though there are really lots of people. MTR comes in 2 min intervals, for HK$50, tourists can get a one day pass, really worth it for the shuttle between Tsim Sha Tui, Mongkok, Kowloon stations and even Disneyland.

2. Get the miniature drinks at SOGO's supermarket. Makes great souvenirs, at a dollar plus sing, it's really cool. I especially like the mini Asashi beer, Coke, and various Japanese brands fruit juice.

3. Small, out of the way 2nd-hand bookstore with a good selection of titles ranging from travel, novels, autobiography etc. Run by a Gwailo who has a nice dog and has been living in HK for the last 7 years. Current books go for about 1/4 of the usual price. At Stanley area.
The Chapter House, Secondhand bookshop. Shop C, first floor, Realfound Mansion 30A Stanley Main Street.

4. Their roasted goose meat. Goose is really expensive locally. They do it really nice, and about HK$60 per half goose which is meat enough for 4-5 pax.

5. Must go to the Peak! Fun part is taking the tram up!
Victoria Peak, Lower Terminus. Exit from MTR Central Stn J2. Or take bus 15C from Star Ferry Concourse in Central.

6. Very famous! Chashaobao and beefballs with cheese in them, fish paste noodles like udon you squeeze yourself, and over 20 different soup bases to choose from. Hotpot! Makes a fulfilling dinner after the long shopping time.
Yaugwathei. www.yaugwathei.com Many different outlets, I went to the one at Causeway Bay. 84-86 Morrison Hill Road, Hong Kong. (MTR Causeway Bay Exit A)

7. Japanese-oriented doggie pet shop with grooming facilities and even cafe to celebrate doggie's birthday! Many accessories, especially clothes and pet carriers. Also souvenirs like "The Dog" original booklets, dog charms.
DogOneLife, opposite SOGO.

8. Dessert! The steamed egg custard (yellow) in hot or cold is wayyy too delicious to be missed. Can even 'tapao' home as some of my colleagues did. Also the milk pudding in dozens of flavors: chocolate, coffee, almond etc. A definite must try, we couldn't get enough of it!
Yee Shun Milk Company, 85 Perceival Street Causeway Bay. And other outlets available.

I really enjoyed my trip! Loved the people, the weather, the busy city... especially when I'm not working in it... ...

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Friendship again

Overheard at The Office:

"In our line, we really need favor.
Favor with Man...Favor with God."

Latest film ratings:

Death Note 2 : 1 outta 5 (Horrid, weak plot with too many asinine mind games. The first one was good so I guess it's just riding on the popularity.)

Blood Diamond : 5 stars! (Strong cast, beautiful cinematography balanced with the violent shooting and the beautiful landscape. Great acting by Leonardo Di Caprio, Jennifer Connelly and the Djimon guy. He deserves the award, I would say.)

Really excited going to hkt over the weekend. I'm quite assured that some of my colleagues are 'professional' shoppers and eaters, judging by the fabulous lunches I get treated to all the time, I'm confident they can source out the place for the best tim sum.

And every night we are going to scour hkt for the best bargain finds. I'm expecting myself to be an expert after going there. Not like some who only go to a place to sip the coffee there, it's going to be another adventure for me!

I mean, I'm glad I'm excited. Some of my friends travel so much, they laugh at my excited-ness. I'm glad I'm not like them. Boooo. I didn't get to travel last year so the humanitarian trip to Aceh was my last destination. I hope to go back there again someday. It's strange how the years flies by. Was just thinking of taking a church course together with Travis, we coincidentally took the first part of the course together, "7 Steps" and now the "14 Steps" (Just kidding... I don't know what the next part is called) and I realised the first part of the course I took it when I was 1X years old... which is FIVE years ago!!! Seems like such a dreadfully long time ain't it.

One thing good about friendship with guys is that no matter how much time has lapsed, you still have the same 'feel' with them, it's like as though nothing has happened in this space of time. Most of all, they still remember you as you were, even asking you those nuggets of information only remembered perhaps, by those who care. My guy friends are nice that way. Travis, very surprisingly, told me that I "exuded an inner glow of radiant happiness" - or rather, he meant that but did not put it in that way. I shyly said it was because I had to look good for serving, but I thought it was rather sweet of him to say that, knowing he seldom says anything like this... I mentioned it to Jelly, another one whom I've recently re-established friendship with, and he remarked: Oh, I thought you ALWAYS looked like this! Wah...I'm over the moon. Score points again!? Jelly's sweet too, just a bit wooden which I believe under my tutelage, he will emerge...not-so-wooden. Wooden shoulders are better to cry on than metallic ones anyways! Haha!

I've also turned a relationship-guru-of-sorts to those hapless guys. I think they are sincerely interested to know, 'what women want', for the lack of a better term; but they never dare to ask. Or perhaps, don't know WHAT to ask. On the way back with 3 guys, was telling Shiner and the rest how to...woo a girl, or how to let the girl you like know you like her without being horrid. I shared once, during my immature and insensitive days (alright, I am still insensitive...) a guy schoolmate of mine professed his infatuation over the phone. Being really oblivious to his anguish and suffering, I laughed out loud. Really LOL! This guy was quite a joker, and never before hearing this tone of voice on him, I thought he was pulling another one of his wisecracks. He was quite patient and then asked again: "If you don't mind, would you consider going out with me?" My reply: "You are joking, right...hahahahaha..." Looking back, I must have bruised his poor ego for he avoided me for some time. But if this kind of question pops up out of the blue, most females will have no clue that you have been suffering for so long. Perhaps our egos are not so huge to think that there are guys even having the hots for us.

So, a word of advice I gave was to not suddenly ask the poor gal out for coffee, and then pop the question of, I'm interested in seeing more of you, if you want to date me. Very scary for most.

Maybe can follow my darling who just dated me and then... got his way... hur hur hur! No la... he did ask me, too! Sweetheart!

Yeah the word of advice would be... give lots of hints first.
What hints?
More on that, in our next meetup....Also, one of the most important things to make her yours. A factor every gal would agree with me is important... but no guy seems to 'get it right'.

Good day!

Friday, January 12, 2007

Mistakes, Failures, Decisions: The Crab Mayo Revelation #1

Focusing on selfish desires leads to collapse of a nation.

Was sharing my insights on personal issues in the ''MPV'' yesterday. Well being encouraged to blog out my thoughts once again! I'm glad I have such a faithful core group.

Liking crab-mayo (in sandwiches) myself, I never questioned why Penelope always eats the same thing - crab-mayo croissant during our pre-cell dinnertime at 'thousand golden'. Maybe we should have a variety of food then? Its boring to just eat the same thing and drink the same thing every time... Then again...As I was thinking about it, I realised something. It was like an epiphany - like the feeling of when the world floats around you and you have gained some deep insight through a simple thing.

I've read recently that one of the pitfalls for leaders and managers is their decision-making. And what you put into your mouth most of the time, is purely your own choice. So don't sue McDs for making you fat. With so many healthy choices available, the bulge on our tummies can only be blamed for making uninformed or unwise decisions. For me, I am not particular about food, but invariably I find myself only eating certain good food at certain places. Drinks, as well. Kie knows me so well that I usually choose to drink tehs, ice milo, green tea... at the usual kopi shops. And questioning the rest of the folks in the MPV, they too, agreed that they were more satisfied with their usual choice, than trying something new. Jean and Nerf mentioned about the 'diminishing law of marginal returns', Jean noticing that her boss after a nice lunch did not seem to be in a good mood whereas the kopi auntie had simple food court stuff and felt satisfied, perhaps more satisfied. In a world of variety, the simple decisions that we make - even deciding where and what to eat, can shave off minutes of time for ourselves. The way I see it, time is money...So, you decide to pay yourself right now. For me I usually don't take any time at all to decide what I want to eat since its usually bread or 2 variations from banquet. That leaves me with a free lunchtime to blog, read motivational articles and etc.

Many people are divided about this, they claim that it's 'stealing time' from your company (paying your time with $)...But I beg to differ. In my temp admin job nearly two years ago, the quality of time management that I practised... in my 9am-6pm job, I always finished my daily work at...3pm! And the rest of the time (I had to stay put) I rewarded myself with surfing and chatting on msn. Pay yourself with the time you have, it's one of the best ways to survive. It also helped me in my one-year degree studies : I'm nocturnal, and utilising the weekend, I often start working on projects around 10PM, often finishing around 5AM. Then it's to school at 10, so I took a 3 hour nap before that. Basically my time clock was opposite from the rest, but it served me well. I found I could work for hours without interruptions during that period, especially as it was quiet at home with no one to bother me - internet connection was faster, too.

I don't often say "I'm busy", though I am, truly... but I also have large pockets of time which leave me quite bored if I am not rejuvenating. Honestly, when people tell me they are busy I find it quite funny, because to all aspects, I am busier than them, but I see more people, meet more friends, (earn more money probably) and have more free time then them. My Rich Dad is super busy, but he can always schedule you in, as long as you tell him a week in advance. =)

In a nutshell, my ''crab mayo'' revelation teaches me not to look at things only at the surface, and to do some introspective revelation on why am I acting up in certain ways. It's been said that the greatest baseball player of all time is Babe Ruth. Even here when we don't play baseball, we have heard about him. He has hit the most homeruns in his playing seasons, more than anyone in the world.

But what not many people know is that he has an almost equivalent number of failures (failing to hit), too.

I've made a couple of mistakes (admin!) in my work today...it is quite troublesome as I have to go back to the clients to re-sign something I've left out. Bummer. Plus the rain, it makes things worse, slows everything down. Manager keeps laughing at me... perhaps because she has made such mistakes in the past! Well, I could have blamed it on the lack of concentration, because it was truly rushed - both clients rushed in and out, being busy people. Or blamed it on the short time I had to view it... Whatever. I kept reminding myself today that the more mistakes I make today, the more successes I will have in the future. At the very least, I can learn more ''people skills'', like sincerely apologizing profusely to people, not something I enjoy doing much. I can also learn not to make the very same mistake again! (Both are different, by the way.) Initially I was beating myself over it because I had to rectify it (and being time-consuming), quite a bummer. But when I looked at it differently, I became calmer, walked more leisurely, and enjoyed my day a little bit more (only that my toes were wet and sad.) The way we view mistakes and failures are really important for us to succeed in having a better day, and in what we do. I guess everyone makes mistakes, but sometimes the way they react to it is a further mistake. Many relationship mistakes causes us to react within ourselves emotionally. "Why did I even consider going out with him?" "Why did I let him do that to me/vice versa..." I see so many females in church and lesser males, that is the norm actually. But, I realised most of the leaders are males and not females. Why? I don't believe there is a gender stereotype or 'glass ceiling' in The Church, especially since we came from a female-leadership background. But why are most of the leaders today males? ...

I believe the answer lies in our emotional state of well-being. From what I've seen, many females have a lot of mindsets they place upon themselves, believing they can not be a good leader. They also need time to resolve their 'sins' - For guys, I think they can be more focused, when they decide to step forth, not much can hold them back. I've seen more men than women fulfil their full time callings. I've seen more men than women rise up to be leaders in a short time. (Though, I've also observed the ones that rise up fast are not as good as the women who take their time, haha!) In reality most women think they have issues, problems they need to resolve before being leaders, thus needing a lot of encouragement. Of course, no one, when asked to be a leader or a manager, would respond YES! (Maybe except me) and be very enthusiatic about it. But, being a leader also means you can have emotional issues... It's just that you handle it very differently from the rest. You see potential in every person, and a learning experience in every situation. When people question you about your actions, you take it as they need clarification, and maybe it's in their job scope to question you. When people ask you about your leadership plans, it means they are thinking hard about how to help you as well, and they have spent their time thinking about you. So, help yourself by sharing what you possibly can, unless, of course, you totally do not value their opinion. People have said very silly things to me about being a leader/my leadership that is almost laughable, coming from their inexperience. But just take it as a learning curve, they have nothing against you anyways and would probably be glad to see you succeed.

I hope to see more young women taking initiatives for their lives as well. I read something very thought-provoking on a motivational blog, about goals.

It says that if we are not setting clear, concise goals, or we do not set goals at all (Remember your friend who says that he doesn't make any resolutions, it's his resolution NOT to!) that we would just spend our lives achieving the goals of others. The goal of your local fast food chain, of your banker, of your financial planner, of your friends and ... get the point. It's scary if we look at it this way. I'm determined now not to spend my life - I have only one, anyway, to achieve the goals of others.








Thursday, January 11, 2007

All kinds of people

I like this quote, but I cannot find references to credit it to the first person who said it. Goes something like,

"Be magnanimous in victory, gracious in defeat."

I kept thinking about it and truly, this word magnanimous being put to action is really hard to find these days. Even doing something simple like a favor, we expect thanks, a treat maybe, at least kind words to justify that act. Then, I think that you are not doing a favor anymore. Sometimes I am like that too, especially when I am busy... but how nice it is, when people tell you after you thank them: "Hey, don't mention."

I thanked one of my client for re-investing in me recently. He even took the trouble to come all the way down to The Office to pass me the cheque, when he could have just told me to collect it from him at his convienience. And when I thanked him, he actually told me in return, Thank You, for the opportunity! A gush of warmth filled me as I read that sms.

Magnanimous and gracious.

To move forward, I often see several organizations and people doing the wrong thing. President Roosevelt said something like this, I am not sure this is what was meant but: If you do something, and it turns out to be right, you are moving two steps forward. If it turns out to be wrong, you are still moving a step forward. The mistake is when you do NOTHING.

And I guess NOTHING is what a lot of people do. What do you do with your free time? Nothing. How are you going to get what you want, be a good leader, or even achieve some form of success if we waste through life, not even bothering to pick up a newspaper that is in front of you for some education. Even some pathetic so-called believers, they have tons of excuses for their spiritual apathy. No time is one. But everyone is given 24 hours in a day, and if cell leaders can accomplish more than you in the same time frame, what is your excuse for not developing personally? Actually I find it hard to have compassion for people who keep complaining and do nothing. The many loser guys in The Office do that the whole day. Saying, they are not aware, they need more info, more time, more etc. Please. When most of the time all they do is surf the internet.

I went to a certain restaurant yesterday to book a table for Kie's birthday. Went there about 30 mins beforehand. The waiter I spoke to was pleasant enough, but he directed me to a lady who said curtly: "No, we are not able to reserve...etc" I just smiled and asked, "Why?" Instead of just walking away. It turned out that she thought I had actually called earlier (which I had not) and was saying she cannot find my name or something. When she realised her mistake, she immediately turned and found another lady to assist me, meanwhile menacingly hissing, "YOU (the 1st waiter) should have said so earlier, why you did not tell me." I so wanted to say, C'mon Lady, you could have asked me politely first before just saying NO, and if you had heard wrongly, don't blame others for your mistake. People's behaviour really shows them up and unfortunately, if you are unteachable, you can only move that far forward. That is why some people rise up to become great managers and leaders and others only so-so, or being stuck in a rut for years, complaining about their situation, but unwilling to move or make the changes necessary to succeed. So what do I have to change in life? Lots.

And I've realised that the best way to move my organization forward is to have the best idea for everyone. Left behind by your own attitude? I say, too bad. Maybe in another organization that values mundane task-doing, you might succeed. Don't blame The Office, your Manager who pep talks you everyday, or any other external factor...be prepared to be a loser guy forever.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Things to do when you're bored

I don't get bored usually, too tired to be bored.

But I get insanely bored...when there's nothing to do.

1. Search the net for knock-knock jokes and memorize the funniest 10 to make you adorable to any kid's parents you gotta be nice to.
Duration: 1 hour

2. Give yourself a do-it yourself manicure with base coat, two coats of nail polish, nice stickers and top coat.
Duration: Fingers 3 hours (totally dry) can do it while at a cafe with a girlfriend
Toes 1 hour

3. Make lists. Can be a breakdown of daily expenses (Calculate how much you spent in total yesterday, including transport!) Or, much longer ones like expenses every month - Always seems like you don't need to spend as much as you do. Or list down all ex-crushes, best friends, etc etc.
Duration: 2 hours

4. Search Wikipedia for historical places and wow people with new information. Try Hamilton, Alaska, Niagara, Iroquoi, ...
Duration: 1 hour per place

5. Make a day where you try not to spend $ (or maybe only $2) or something along that line. Walk backwards the whole day, or read a book from back to front. Maybe arrange all your clothes by color or function instead of just junking it in the closet.
Duration : Whole day!

Any other bored tips?

Have a good day, readers. =)

Friday, January 05, 2007

Everything you wanted to know but was afraid to ask...

Had a nice time hearing people share about their goal-setting for 2007. Realised that...

Guys can be ALL into their jobs...
Girls can be ALL into guys (like sacrifice everything!)
Guys that are ALL into girls are loser guys... AND
That is why there are a lot of girls in church and a lot of loser guys!

Haha. One of my deep insights, don't be offended.
I am embarking on a mission to bring my tall, hunky, cute guy pals to my new cell and church, but first I have to understand their psyche. But I digress, back to goal setting.

I'm glad that I started this week to be really focused in work. My work has a different kind of stress, the kind that make you question 'Who am I', and toss and turn in bed at night. I was asked this question today and truly? I don't know, yet. Sure I know what kind of people I like and things I like to eat, play with, etc but really, who am I? And who are you? Are you offended by being defined by the kind of work you do, or do you take a pride to it?

The kind of goals we set actually defines the kind of people we are...and want to be.

As well as how we are going to achieve it.

I want to be an expert in my job... to know everything there is to know. I do take pride in rattling off facts yet find it increasingly hard to remember them. I guess knowing them gives me a sort of self-confidence. Where book smart and people/street smart matters, here.

Success is not only about material wealth... it's also by feelings and experiences. I hope that in the year ahead, I will find a balance between my social life and the work scene! That in all my relationships, I will find meaning, and fulfilment. I really want to make things better.

StudMuff gave me good advice recently, I am thankful for his - and others' well-meaning concerns. Honestly, if you want to be a friend to others, just support them in their low times and share the energy in the high times. I hate people who just sit on their butts giving good advice with none of the experience or sincerity in their words. These experiences really shape us, to be stronger and wiser, so no matter what the outcome, thank God for bringing us through it! StudMuff said, if we're going through a rough patch, just give yourself 2 weeks (or some other time frame) to be sad and after that, bounce back, forget about it, move on! It makes sense, that.

Monday, January 01, 2007

Love me, love my friends

Love me.

We meet people in life that reminds us of what we should be - or how we used to be, and what we want to be.

Sometimes it's hard being ourselves. I look at working women who have young kids and wonder how they can serve, yet look after the family and earn money at the same time. I always believe there exists a certain affinity between people that you like and want to know better. I recently met a stunning young woman who dazzled me so much that...I want to be like her. If I was a guy I would chase her (she's married though)...Having two businesses, yet always looks impeccable, with a smile for everyone and bright, cheery eyes and the charistmatic-ness found in few individuals.

Beauty is not everything, I have seen how men are attracted to less-than-pretty faces because, their true personality really shines through. In fact, I realised many pretty faces have so many problems that it is better to avoid them altogether. Same for the pretty boys. But I digress. It is important to look good-put together and stuff, but not to obsess over every part - perfectionism gets us nowhere and some genetic qualities are impossible to change anyways. Despite everyone saying I look good with thi height and size (buying clothes IS a breeze, if not for my choosiness) I have insecurities about certain parts of my body that I always wished to change, if I could. Even considered surgery... only later as I grew older I actually realised I am unique and if I change, I would only look like the commoner gals, which is really not-beautiful when it's common. So, I grew to like my 'flaws'... Though all of us are on the journey of looking more fab each year! I really invested in certain skincare products which I felt had great improvement, so maybe next on my list would be a real teeth whitening or something like that, if I can afford after all my bills.

And I do have a fetish for manicures. It's so nice to have beautiful, shaped nails. Especially at work! Makes a world of difference.

==

Really nice to spend a large part of New Year's Eve and the day with pals. Especially those who specially make time for you. At The Church, we went there for the first time, the place was wonderfully big - and we were the first people to go up to the still-renovating roof garden. Haha! I guess they thought holy people won't bother to try the doors that have a 'no entry' sign.

Travis called shortly after the service, I was kind of hoping that he would. After all, the time we spend sharing together is so minimal considering that we are always in a crowd. Shiner came, too...and I thoroughly enjoyed myself with them and the members, watching movies till dawn. Felt as wide awake as Hammy the red squirrel, the days of rest did me good! Always wanted to stay up the whole night but no one bothered to keep me company till yesterday, hoho! I really treasure Travis, all these years. It is my secret wish to hug him to bits! And shock him in the process, haha. He's more than a friend (nothing scandalous meant here) with his nature of going out of the way to care for me...sigh. I'm really blessed to have all these people around me I know, but me being me, I always forget about them after a while - then I'd feel super guilty for doing that.

Being in a relationship, it's typical of me to forsake all and devote myself to the guy. But I guess it's shallow that way - to neglect friends only to look for them in times of doubt. Friendships are only waiting to happen, to blossom, if you let them. Despite the differences, (and the sheer idiocy of some people), I think we never know what surprises are in store for us. The unlikeliest of people may be the best of friends. We are so 'unsuitable-looking' in real life, Travis and Shiner always go out in ugly sneakers (New Balance), track pants, tees... I do wish that they can wear like cool stuff, it seems weird for me to go town with them, togged in this attire, but hey, I don't care. (In Travis' defence, he has been looking for 2 years for a loafer-type shoe but simply can't find, so it's the sneakers so far...) And, I do make friends with all types of guys, gay, toot, IT, design, teachers, whatever. It's the girls with long hair and guniang taste I cannot understand.

Friends!

True friends, I love them.