inadvertently

Reasoning, inadvertently.

It's the 'take two hands to clap' theory.
I had an insightful week, to say the least. Misconstrued notions and such. Sometimes the metaphysical aligns to the spiritual that both forms perfect symmetry. How do you react to certain people, and what is their reaction to you?

Sometimes people get on my nerves and I snap at them, like a snapping animal that has been over poked, over provoked. I don't take kindly to people who say meaningless things, especially those whom are not even friends, so, please control yourself before I snap. When people insult others, and do the same again and again, there is something fundamentally wrong with them. Maybe it reflects a certain insecurity in their character and self confidence that requires them to put others down to feel good about themselves. Maybe this trait runs strong in individuals with 'High X' profiling, more so than any other. If I were a wee simpler, I guess I'd be much happier not exerting my brain over such things. I'd just accept them for who they are and ignore the caustic ones. But I tend to analyze.

There are always many reasons for people saying things. You can't attribute it to just a single reason.

Maybe, some people enjoy being sarcastic because it gives them a fierce persona. Maybe, some enjoy keeping animals because they want to be seen as benevolent. Or helping the poor. Etc. As always, I question the reasoning behind the action. You can be all things to all men, it can be good. But it also can be bad if your reason is that you are ambitious and want to 'lose' your way to the top. I mean, losing yourself in the process. You may think that the last runner in a race is a definite loser. But you may not think that way if he is running on two artificial limbs... or if it is a marathon, and she did not win the race; but she ran - while three months pregnant with her first child. (True story, my colleague's daughter did that.) They are winners in their own right, just that measured by the world's standards, they fall short. If you do things out of duty than of love for the people, then I think it's not worth doing at all.

==

This phrase "The joy of the Lord shall be your strength" kept running through my head yesterday. I mean, I don't usually get such wongwong messages like this. I just wondered what it meant, was I supposed to tell someone and then someone would just be so touched by it? So I just told the ones I was close with, and prayed for it for the cell, during post service. But the next day it felt like it was, still 'there', so I smsed some people. It's quite a general term, don't you think? Yet I felt that somehow it was meant to be said for a purpose or something. Ah well. Someday someone somewhere will tell me, I hope. =)

Heard from Hans recently that Zero, our handsome friend, has not been coming to church or cell. Felt quite sad when I heard that. Zero actually brought Hans to church. Was close to Zero once upon a time - well close enough to share about spiritual stuff, chat on the phone, about the people we liked, and our destinies in God. I'm determined not to let him go that way, it just seems like a waste. Plus, handsome guys are always welcome in The Church, haha! Well, because of the fond memories I have, and the nice gentlemanly way he treated me (too nice, I prefer to be shoved around at times aye) sometimes, I can't forget those people who are nice to me. I end up liking them too much, but when I move on from the friendship, and when I meet them again, I have an irresistable longing to have that sort of bond again. Though, we've all grown up since then and have had a couple of relationships and graduated from school as well - but I hope he is still the same, nice, gentlemanly, pukingfyingly romantic white knight on shining armor type of guy that I once met, knew, and liked. Zero, I hope your life experiences, no matter how bitter they are, would not have taken away the person who is inside, and the Jesus that is inside. Shine, Jesus shine. I'm praying for a chance - a divine appointment, to meet him. And even though he does not want to be in contact with all the people in his ministry anymore, I hope he will still remember me, his friend from ages ago.

==

I crossed the 'suaning boundary', inadvertently. Oops.
And I was quite amused at one of the 'top 5 things we can work on' (to improve ourselves) - we have a similar one. Haha! Aye, Muffin and I tend to be 'insensitive to others at times'. and maybe slightly oversensitive to our own emotions, that is why such inadvertent crossings occur. It's not my intention to hurt anyone, by words, actions or attitudes, which I have done before. So boundaries are there for a reason. To make life more purposeful and relationships more joyful! So yes, you are stubborn and irritating too... but I am also intrigued by that! Because it's a mirror of me. Not all is doom and gloom though, it's really amusing to see your flaws manifested in someone that does a good impersonation of yourself. I'm glad at the way we can talk through things. I'm glad at the way we can talk about anything
(well, most things.) So maybe I was looking for a friend, like you.

Plus it was fun to be in cahoots to bully Elk. =)