the learning curve

Taken by my videographer and his team for RacingThePlanet, Vietnam 2008.

I find that life is enriched by the people you meet and the people you talk to. In my career, not talking to people is not an option. And I think that if you want to succeed in life, it is optimal to choose meeting up with people you can learn something from.

And although the type of work I do now, more than 50% is not in my previous scope of skills, I do try to learn as much as possible, reading books and talking to people who are more experienced than me. And often I find that the people are so nice, so willing to guide me along the way. I'm going to learn how to edit videos! Yay, my videographer has offered to teach me, so has The Boss. Well I believe that I can master it easily, and master it to a level that I can then instruct others how to edit...heh. In the last month I think I've learnt so much on a daily basis that my brain has 'expanded', somewhat. And the funny thing is, similar to muscles that cry out for more exercise once you've reached a certain level, I find that my brain has become more adept and efficient.

Due to my past depressive weeks last quarter, I found that I couldn't remember things, I couldn't even remember simple tasks I needed to do, and my brain was continually at a 'rest' mode. I only wanted to sleep and sleep and not think about anything. Now, it's scary. My brain keeps crying out for more information and I am reading biz books at a furious pace, digesting through magazines. I find a liking for Fortune. In the morning when I wake up, I have to read. On the train, at home... the brain is an amazing thing.

I've realised early on that finding the 'ideal' career is almost impossible for someone my age and qualifications in Singapore. Also, maybe I am always open to possibilities that is why I do not limit myself, and find others around me who are also similar.

Was lunching with TallGuy yesterday. He is now interning at a bank before he graduates from one of our unis. Although we have not talked much while being colleagues at The Office, somehow we share a certain connection, perhaps in a silent language, we have observed each other and the things we find similar and likable. After all a book I read said that body language plays a big part in communication, more so than words. It's always nice to lunch with someone who shares your ideals.

It is not surprising to find out that TallGuy shares the same thinking as me, that we can succeed in (almost) anything we put our minds to. I think few people share the same sentiment, but I think we have a similar sort of motivation here. I know some people who are motivated by $...I guess all of us are to a certain degree and that's not wrong...Others are motivated by just wanting the power that comes with the success, or the fame. I guess I haven't found out what my motivation is yet, although through thinking about it, I do have a few.

Namely,
1. I want to help my boss to be successful.

I think one of the reasons why I am putting in so much effort is that I really believe this biz will takeoff, and it's also one of my goals to help out in a startup for some years now. Funnily though, if it was my own biz, I wouldn't be as motivated to work as hard. Maybe I understand the worries and frustrations of being in charge, so I want to alleviate his worries as much as I can.

2. I want to make a better life for myself.

I've not been very prudent in saving or investing, although I still have a few years to right it, I really want to start a family before 30, so I have a inner motivation to work hard and save, for the next 4 years. Knowing that I can work hard for one year - the last year of my studies, I believe I can also go the distance for this period. Also that more of my time is freed from ministerial duties, I have that many more hours to turn into a success for my career.

The rest of my motivations, I have to think about it. Sometimes, you do not really know what drives you, just that I am very happy in my work and everyday wake up ready to complete as much as possible in every workday. I'm not really ambituous and the inner slacker in me will look out of the window and see that it's a nice sunny day to suntan, or to go off overseas on a whim... I still have that carefree spirit within me, so I have to strike a balance within the two.

I am going to make the most out of my opportunity here. Eventually, we will want to sell the company off. And hopefully, I will be able to share in the profits. Dad wants me to be a "VP" level next year. Hahahaha! (Incredulous laughter)

Being in a startup or a small company is not easy, but I prefer to learn these skills now than later on.

Diverted, diluted...

Going to look at my goals everyday.

It's amazing how a small mouth ulcer can cause one person's body to feel...argh.
The small (okay, not so small) one on my lower lip was so painful two days ago that I refrained from talking, too much. It generated over-producing of saliva - which I had to digest, every few seconds...which caused 'wind' in my intestines, causing it to bulge out... which made me feel real bad.

And I discovered...one baby ulcer at the base of my lower lip. Another one...!
It's an old wives tale that you caught ulcers from dirty food (lizards' shit and what not), no one really knows why you get ulcers, though TCM says it's due to 'heatiness'. I seldom have ulcers, this is my first time this year, so am not taking it too well. But now I know how other ulcer sufferers feel and have said a prayer for them. Poor chronic cluster-ulcer sufferers. I'm glad I only have it once or twice a year.

Plus am pretty quiet these days so I think all my friends are feeling sort of relieved. Realised that when I don't speak, I have more expression in my eyes, so maybe now I should cultivate that: speaking with my eyes. I can't do much expressions though, later all my clients think I'm batting my eyelids at them. At least, I don't pout as well...

==

Realised I haven't been doing much lately workwise, I think it's all the exhibitions and my stint at lecturing that has thrown me off-balance. And of course, the coming-to-terms with the hard life lessons of last year.

It does take awhile to get back into the flow of things. I still think it's a pretty unstable balance between work and ministry, both demands time, and effort - which makes me so tired at times. I think I need to build up on my energy level. Internally, it's always been positive. Externally, I look tired when I don't get enough sleep (it's my fault, I seem to dilly dally around the house at night doing all sorts of things, me nocturnal) I think I need toned arms to carry my bag around! Going to start on a stringent exercise regiment. Which involves two ball games, some gymming, lots of walking (which I usually do already) and some sandcastle building really.

Sandcastle building gives you really toned arms and shoulders, I can build a life sized mermaid from scratch, with nothing but my fingers and a pail of water. Looking forward, the next time I go Sentosa! =)

Life is like this, when you forget about your PASSION and FERVOR, usually you forget that you have a definitive purpose in LIFE to all that you are doing everyday... And then, the days just pass by until one day, you realise that the way you have lived recently is almost similar to the days that you have languished away, working but not really working, living but not really living. And you want to change, don't just fritter the years away until you are middle-aged but not having anything to show for it.

Met up with HK Millionaire, he said I looked more mature lately. I guess it's a compliment to me. He looks sort of haggard and thinner. Guess it's the way he pushes himself to work for his $. For me I know I can push myself too, but maybe not too much for now. After all, some spiritual wealth is more valuable to me. And I guess I am growing up, finally, after my hiatus for one year, of which, I did not accomplish much.

TO BE CONTINUED...