in love, photos

I love looking at (well-taken) wedding photos, and while I'm not there yet, it's always nice to dream that you are the owner of such fabulous photos. Was browsing through the works of this guy I know and once again, I am loving his works - the old school vibe, the black and whites, the scenery. This couple's was done in Cameron Highlands! And you can see how the mist adds a nice touch. I stared at the one with the bicycle for a long, long time. I would love to have a photo like this, blow it up on canvas and it would just give any room such an entrancing quality.

The other photographs are just so perfect, done by an American (www.jasminestarblog.com).
The whole wedding just looks so, so perfect and the photos are a wonderful way to relieve the day. The couple looks so lovely! I have already restrained myself from posting the whole collection of their photos here (you can view on www.greenweddingshoes.blogspot.com)
I like the last photo of the bride with the groom on an escalator. Quirky, original, yet don't we all take those escalators almost everyday? It's something that you can't help looking at and smiling. Somehow wedding photos have the innate energy and beauty from love to give it an edge, to help you to see that, hey, let's just stop for a moment in our busy lives and admire these photos.

Some very good news, I've got a job. The paranoid me can't believe it until I am actually seated at my desk (I do wonder if it will look boring) so I am saving the news to shout it from the mountains until I probably have settled in for a month and also getting my first month's paycheck. It took a lot of people to help me to move out from a media profile to a corporate career, and I was surprised that they were 'very keen to have me onboard'. So let's see how it all goes, but I think I will be loving this job! Pay is good, location good... and it's the same company where my future MIL works at. How's that!

small woes

It seems like it's been too long since I am not gainfully employed - though, it is less than 2 months. But I am already feeling the weariness of waking up and having nothing significant to do, and little to do that doesn't involve spending of money in some way or another... truly, life in Singapore can be miserable on a budget. So although I am generally easy-going, living in the present and a small couch potato inside enjoys watching reruns of Friends, CSI and fashion makeover shows incessantly, in some dark hours, my fears and worries eat me up so that I am unable to explain the bleakness and despondency of my feelings.

I worry about when am I going to get a job, not any job, but a fulfiling one where hopefully I can see myself in, the next 5-10 years. A job which hopefully matches my pay, I need that... and I hope that my expectations can be justified. A job which I would not have to commute long distances to - it's been said somewhere that we can get used to living in extremely small spaces but we never get used to long commutes, despite going through it daily - the daily grind only serves to make us more frustrated. And in these times, I pray more, but I also feel guilty to do so. Why pray more only about our selfish desires and yet, not confess our sins, of which I have increasingly many and always glaringly obvious to me when I pray about my little needs. Okay, perhaps having a job is a major need, but I am still in a better, and less urgent position than others in debt or having other monetary demands like kids or their parents to take care of.

I realised that I am egoistic, that I attach pride to my work or title, and now being workless and titleless, feel lesser of a person when someone asks me what I am working as. To some, I answer that I'm changing from a media role to a corporate clime. I never realised that I was quite proud of my unique job title, a job usually open to only males and older people. A job I never really could love and enjoy thoroughly because of all it entails.

And through it all, I realise I am thankful for my man. Yes, I am very bad to always tease him about this-body-part where everyone does the same, but I instantly regret doing so - he has never done the same to me though I am less-than-perfect. If I did not have him now, I think I would be more whiny, less easy-going, more neurotic and endlessly wondering about my future. Perhaps, I would have made less intelligent choices - instead of looking at a career that bodes well for the advancements, learning curve and prospects, I might have chosen one which pays well but utimately leave me in the same situation years later. I realise how grateful I am for his presence, his chastisement to my spending prowess, his innovative ways of stretching the bucks. I wish I could be more like him! And yes, in a way I've tried - did you know that the $10 plus huge bottle of moisturiser at watsons (brands like nivea, jergens...) cost less than half price in the cut-price beauty shops at AMK? And no more $20 bottles of body moisturizer for me... I feel that Jergens work just as well =P

With this note, I resolve to pray more whether jobless or not, and always be grateful for things we could overlook when we're busy at work.

a shocking job interview

Currently looking for a job, I was really keen to go to and possibly get hired into a company which everyone, even my Dad, oohed and aahed over.

I guess everyone knows about the exciting pay and benefits one can get in such a job. Also, such jobs are only open to graduates with 'very good' degrees, so it was also an accomplishment for me just to score the interview. The job scope looked like something I could do well (design based), and the position was something impressive as well (it has a 'manager' in the title!)

But the interview was possibly one of the worst interviews I've ever been to. I was shocked and disappointed, and too stunned that I had to write it here.

Having been interviewed quite a number of times, and also been on the other side- having interviewed people as well, I can say that I'm quite objective in this area. My interview with this prestigious organization consisted of 3 interviewees. Since most of them had the brains to be working there, and also the design smarts, I expected to be talking to creative, capable individuals. But their body language indicated that interviewing me was a bore, and they looked so wearied at their job that in the short time I was there I began to feel stifled, tense and uncomfortable myself! One guy who definitely looked very intelligent, took to studying my CV throughout the whole interview with nary a glance at me. He looked as if he was studying for an exam but did not ask me any smart questions about my previous job scope which had been queried to me before by other competent managers.

When I asked them about what the scope exactly entails, the lady told me mumbo-jumbo which no one could understand, I believe she just memorised the scope word for word - and when I asked them about the companies they were involved with (as mentioned on the website), she could not name any... well then, what was the job really about? She told me wearily, that 70-80% of the time spent involved writing reports (which I think no one would read or understand) and little time spent outfield unless they had projects. She also said that they always work OT to finish the reports and because they had many bosses, it takes a long time to get approval for things to be done. In short, she is not selling this position to me but in fact scaring me off.

The other lady just looked at my shoes and my bag. All three were poker faced with no enthusiasm at all.

When I showed them a presentation of one of my ideas on how to integrate a design function of existing technology to provide users with a healthcare experience, which impressed even technology companies and healthcare directors and got them excited, these scholars just stared at it blankly, poker faced. This spells out clearly to me that they can't even tell if it's a good idea or not. (Don't want to press the point, but my idea impressed HP top execs, Healthcare IT directors, my ex-boss that he called to let them know, various head of healthcare who immediately saw how it works and the benefits, etc.)

Immediately, I could see how it works in this company. It's quite sad, if I am a top student who have worked hard to excel in my field, only to be stuck in a job which require only report writing skills and no ability to make decisions, thus rendering me incapable to tell how to and when to approve things. By the way, entering this job also requires an IQ test.

Even though I am probably paid much lesser than them, I had the authority to control my schedule, plan for work areas which I am enthusiatic about because it is something I want to do, and work with people I like because I can. I've been told about the government drones, now meeting 3 of them, I feel I don't want to become one of them! I guess all of us can tell about entering some workplaces, there is a busy, vibrant vibe, or at least a positive vibe in it. When I entered that building, it seems dead, tense, stifling although their job is to creative positive design spaces. I've been to other government buildings to meet with top execs and I can say that it is not like this in other places. I was just too shocked with this interview and the lack of enthusiasm and lack of understanding creativity they employ, that I would believe was essential not only to their jobs but to the whole organization.

labor of love DIY!

So here was the Ikea black frame (glass) that I decided to do up as part of a Valentine's Day present...after all, it feels more meaningful receiving a special handmade gift from your girl...

I did away with the white frame and decided to use the black frame horizontally. Cut two black a4 paper for the base. These nice lomo prints are from Cat Socrates which used to be blu-tacked to my office wall and since then I haven't found a use for it, but they are too beautiful to be discarded. The glitter heart is from a hair band- it dropped off and also, too nice to be discarded. It just fits in so well!

Took some time to piece all the pieces together with the right color combi. Amazingly, this was ALL the pieces I had (save for 3 on my shelf frame.) It's just so perfect. The small card size photos of us I had taken as a birthday present last year, and printed cheaply at a Kodak store. (don't go to Fotohub to print, it's a ripoff and the color quality is not good.)

Close up of the completed. All that's left to do is to trim the edges to fit.

Completed? Nice nice? Hope he will like this unique idea of displaying our love-photos in a discreet manner. The glass frame really makes it look more classy, adds depth... and not school project-ish... always buy glass frames!

Final photo...here is a closeup of our photos.

french food, flowers and choya by the beach

Makes for an unforgettable birthday experience. TheBoyfriend certainly knows how to make a woman feel special especially when she's not getting any younger. I've never received such a nice bouquet of flowers before! Nor purple roses!!! Verrry happy!

and hope it won't go downhill next year/after married/kid, hahaha!

flowers, french food and the zoo

Verry happy, I got flowers - purple roses from TheBoyfriend. It is now sitting pretty in 2 vases.

The Man Your Man Could Smell Like

smart writing, I like this type of ads.

Poker Face (Chinese New Year Version)

can't get it outta my head now! v v funny!

80s child in Oz

I still like red. In fact, love it. Unfortunately not many brands do red nowadays. Was so fashion-forward mixing red and pink together in an outfit plus the gray sweatpants. The long legs help a lot. And the blunt fringe. I was so nonchalant eating that ice cream on the street corner!

80s child

This photo is a hoot, and too retro. Note the cassette player, I'm wearing my Dad's sunglasses with the retro tint... white singlet, blue and white slipper... chic appliqued cap. Was at Sentosa for a picnic.

odds and ends

Remember those teenage days when you put in all that effort to do something homemade for your bestie's birthday or your 'stead'... scrawling on cards and trawling different shops to get interesting materials... Well, this V-day, being on an extremely tight budget, I D-I-Y something for TheBoyfriend... using this... once again, black Ikea frame. I have bought this some time ago with Architect... long time ago actually, but could not find 3 matchy photos to put in, so it has boring land maps currently. Revamped to something nice, I'd post up the photos afterwards... *suspense!

Was in town last week someone blanjah me ayam penyet, so I took the opportunity to walk around town especially the places I seldom go to like... Far East Plaza. Going back there sure brings back memories of those days where we would haunt the little shops and find interesting scrunchies - yes they were in back then, tonnes of cheap slippers, bikinis, baby tees... Lately it's been quite pricey so I stopped going there to shop, but the afternoon brought a pleasant surprise. I actually found cheap chic stuff that were quite nice.

I like peeptoes and bows on shoes and this brown actually suits my skin tone... and the espadrille wedge heel is nice. Super comfy, not a single blister...and no pain on the toe base which most heels would cause me...amazing. And... it's below 20 bucks, cheap huh? Machiam shopping in Bangkok.

Yes I know I have one bag like this... But this is so furry I had to get it. From BYSI, a small version of Chanel-inspired flap. And it's from TheBoyfriend! Yes, I used his shopping vouchers (christmas gifted) so can say this is the first bag he bought for me...

Some branded top but with the label cut off from 'supermarket' at FEP. It's near 'woodwood', a shop with quirky, one of a kind pieces that I like very much. I've been searching for nude tops with black accents, so very this season for forever so imagine my surprise when I found it on the discount rack, and it's in my size. Doesn't look like much here but it's feminine and floaty! The same shop also stocks a Stella McCartney dress in navy or that dusty pink she always uses... LOVE! But it was over my budget so I restrained myself. Plus, I haven't worn all my dresses yet... LOL.

And lastly, the reason why I went to FEP: To get a cheap swimsuit. Since I don't have any decent ones for swimming... only string ones for suntanning which are a bit hazardous to learn swimming in... and I don't want to buy something expensive... or... fugly. Ta-dah! It's called a maillot... and if you ask me whether it's more decent... it's not... muahahaha. Well, unfortunately I can't FIT (too thin) the tankinis, and none of the boutiques actually sells those fugly swimsuits with the skirt or thick shoulder straps... well, I got this maillot. Nice huh? Got discount one. And I have a penchant for polka dots. I think FEP is quite interesting if you can avoid the made-in-china products and the cheap tees. There are a number of boutiques carrying branded or semi branded stuff, also a lot of made in Korea stuff, some good, some stunning. Those on the 2nd floor (actually I only went to the 2nd floor and the ground floor) are quite posh really. Having exhausted the clothes stores in Raffles City and Ion's quite high end, I think I will go back to haunting FEP.

bags I like

This week...

(while walking to Chomp2)
Me to TheBoyfriend: 'Dear... do I have a valentine's day surprise? Tee hee...'
TheBoyfriend: 'The surprise is no surprise.'
Me: ........

(the next day)
TheBoyfriend to me: I'm gonna take leave on Friday! You take leave as well! (I am not working currently...) We can celebrate your birthday in November. (My birthday is this month.)
Me: ...Haha.

Oh, how cute TheBoyfriend is. Although sometimes I want to choke with laughter.


Here are the top 10 bags on my bag list.

Not that I like them as a status symbol or to own a luxury good... I feel that the transformation from a little girl to a young woman begins with... knowing how to put on makeup, heels and a good bag. All set to conquer the world. Carrying a nice bag really makes your day different, you have a different feeling, I'm sure those in the know can attest to that. (The same goes for shoes but I think I don't have it in me for shoes.)

Having a good sense of my own style - what I like, what colors I would actually carry often, and, this often neglected - the size of the bag which suits my persona. Somehow, I don't like lugging around big bags though my frame suits them. I also can't do clutches and pouchettes though I think they are really nice. Slouchy types like hobos also don't do it for me. So, in a nutshell, I'm a 'structured + medium sized + kitschy/loud/nude colors' kind of bag person. And I like patent leather. Somehow it suits me too.


The Marc by Marc Jacobs tote. Comes in different colors. I was about to get one of these but it was all sold out so I got my Agnes B. One bag I am likely to afford, thus likely to buy... soonish. Yes, it comes in other nicer colors but this was the only good photo I found...

Mulberry Alexa. Satchels! I like satchels. And I like the color and the brand.

I'm not into LV, it's a bit too hard and heavy for me, but if I were to own one it would be in this shape, the speedy. I feel it's a classic shape and ladylike to carry around. I like the one in purple although the one in original print also does well. I like the color purple and it's tough to find a nice purple bag.

Any Longchamp bag. So versatile. I like the ones in pink or brown.

This classic Longchamp bag. Great for work! I already feel quite professional and confident just looking at it. Such magical powers it has!

Loewe Nappa Aire. One of my favorite underrated brands for bags. I feel they can do no wrong and all of their designs are nice, although the pricey range means it's for women of a higher stature. This is so chic, so classy, so soft, so roomy......

My most lusted-after bag. Lady Dior! Named after Lady Diana who was fond of it and supposedly owned every colorway. Mlle Ange and I were browsing in the high end boutiques one afternoon and we weren't impressed by the Chanel flap on display. However this got our nods and it just looks stunning... brought back from a retro design and the non-patent ones look just as good, it looks good in every color except black surprisingly. Subtle charm chain adds to it's perfection. Looks small but is rather roomy. And quite rare! I love it I love it I love it.

Coco Cocoon. The large black ones look like rubbish bags but this size is ok. I like reversible bags. It's red, a nice color for a bag, when it's reversed. This rose gold is very chic too. Very huggable. Somehow the idea of reversible bags always makes me excited.

I think the picture speaks for itself? Burberry has made many mistakes in the past... but all is forgiven. Also in white, can't stop looking at it.... and not very very expensive. Tres chic.

Last but not least, another Burberry. Some will hate it but it's just so me. A cute but chic me. Matches my black outfits. I can just imagine me with it. Yum yum!

a cause for being faithful

Well, I didn't get the job I wanted. Was feeling rather down but thankfully, a kind contact told me it was a 'blessing in disguise'. He's a headhunter who knows that the position doesn't pay well. If we work, of course it's not for the money, but if I was stuck in a dead-end position, I think it's definitely not a good path to take. I did pray for 'open doors', perhaps now I need golden open doors. The headhunter offered me a position sometime in the middle of the year. This job would pay twice what I'm currently getting/asking. It definitely sounds delicious and I will consider it seriously if it is still open to me later on. Meanwhile, I shall continue looking.

There's been a lot of discussion about staying faithful in a marriage, and recently Pastor said that increasing number of married couples are not able to pass the 3-5 year mark. He referred to a well-known couple in our midst where one party was proven unfaithful and it resulted in a divorce. As a celebrity couple, definitely all eyes are on the remaining person. Will he suffer depression? He had a bout, of 6 months which I think is normal for anyone in that situation. Rumours abound. Some say the lady's lover is from The Church. Some say she has more than 1 lover! True or not, what causes anyone to be led astray, according to Pastor, is the lack of a firm foundation and intimate walk with God. TheBoyfriend and I were discussing this matter because he knows the lady and I, the husband. Since it's so easy for leaders to fall, and even some pastors... what more mere members like us? For one, I sympathize being the husband. All his memories, not just the 3-5 years but much more, are entwined with her. Removing photo evidence of their being together is probably like swiping off almost all data in his memory bank. Sure, he is still youngish, but that's not the point. Being a leader, you have many time constraints too. Take my friends in the youth ministry. They have to serve in committees, chair prayer meetings, attend leadership meetings, general meetings, meetings with pastor, meetings with members, core group meetings and not forgetting their work and social life. It's no wonder most of them are single or break up. Sure, the godly message that would be told us is that God will give us the strength to do this and more... but when you're so exhausted and hardly any time for your family, it does not really put you in a romantic mood. I've been there, done that, and I can say there is really no mood... in fact, I was thankful for not having to juggle a relationship in the midst of all that jazz. I'm not saying we shouldn't be leaders but we have to see everything as it really is. There are rewards to serving faithfully for sure.

For this couple, a fault could be placed on this area perhaps. What's the next step for someone who has lost all his past happy memories, to be replaced with sad ones... maybe it's to build faith in something that will last. Life is tough... but looking at our asian counterparts, we can be happy in the fact that we are so much more blessed than them.

Books that change, or do they?

Some people write books because they want to change lives, or share an idea, or prove something, or let others get interested in their hobby. Unfortunately for me, because I read so much, books are like...fair-weather friends. When I'm into them, it's non-stop interaction. I have to sit and read and finish reading. But when I'm done, away they pop back into the bookshelf and I rarely ever notice them again, or feel the way they have made me feel when I was with them for the first time. Ahh, like the smell of a new car, the smell of a new book does enthrall me.

I'm back to my pre-boyfriend weight now, just half a kg less and I can be back to my... secondary school days' weight! Being at home I just eat lesser - since I wake up later, I'm awake for lesser hours, and hence, eating lesser. I do eat more junk, like tao kae noi, ruffles, sinful choc biscuits, etc... but lesser on the whole. Being in a new relationship, I guess we will tend to eat out more at restaurants, nice restaurants with nice food. And tend to want to share some sides which adds up in the waistline and on the bill. Because he doesn't have a sweet tooth and I have a huge one, we tend to share cakes and I'm eating 70% of it... gah. So I've put on about 2.5 kg. Half of it from Bangkok and 1 kg-ish from Melaka christmas weekend. It sounds like it isn't much, but think about it: If I, or any woman, puts on 2 kg each year, 10 years later, that would be an aunty-ish 20 kg. So no thanks for me. I'm going to stay as stick thin as possible. Or at least maintaining my weight. It's not good for weight to fluctuate up and down either. Ok, back to books...

Ortberg is my all time fave author in Christendom authorship, I just wonder why not many bookstores stock his stuff. They only have one or two of his popular ones. I spied this and bought it... Kie wanted to buy it for me for christmas but I couldn't remember the name of the last of his books which I haven't actually read. It's smart, witty, and actually brings you closer to God, to thinking about God, which... sadly not all christendom books do.

Bought this at booksactually, the cover looks frilly and fun girly, but it's not. It's like a thesis with notations and almost scientific explanations. Definitely explains all you need to know and more. I am reading this very slowly and when I can't fall asleep.

TheBoyfriend's book which I finished over a weekend. Good stuff, written in the way you feel he is speaking aloud to you, much like my Dad would, or some police officer/lawyer speaking to you. It's droll humour in some parts and laugh out loud moments at others. I wanted to read this after seeing a lady read it in the train with bemused expressions. I have to say Subhas' first book is making waves for TheBoyfriend to buy it. Because his bookshelf has barely 10 books not counting accounting books. Lol.

Stumbled upon this book while surfing Amazon and finally found it at PageOne. Despite it being a NY bestseller, found it was not really publicized here. A business biography, it is interesting because this is a CEO of KPMG who only had 3 months left to live. Not many people have a written account of what they'd like to do before they die, so it's a mesmerising read, and because he's a top executive, there is much to learn about the business aspects as well.

So that sums up my bookshelf picks. I'm also reading 'girl meets god' by Lauren Winters.

spring cleaning and lantern making

Oh, how I wish I could say I was bumming around.

But in reality, I'm keeping busy. Some part of me feels guilty if I become a couch potato for weeks on end.

Having the notion of doing something worthwhile and 'craft-inspired' with my time, I bought a set of angpaos and accessories from a craft shop in AMK, hoping to make a series of lantern-angpao art. Although I have a degree in art... ... I almost gave up on those angpaos... I think I don't have a craft-side to me, unless it involves scrapbooking which I can do quite well, or painting... (Sorry Clone, I gave up on the kasut manek...)

First step: folding the angpao into a conical shape. Staple with red staples, 5 of these to form a flower.

This is half of the lantern ball I completed in the shop - completing ONE lantern ball (already done the conical-single angpao at home)... takes 2 hours in the shop! My hands were trembling from all that stapling. One lantern needs 5 of those flower formations x 12 = 60 angpaos per lantern. And the tiring part was the secret piece of plastic I had to slip in each lantern and superglue the fold opening... Well, just hope TheBoyfriend's mom appreciates it. I also bought the template for 'fish' which is much more complicated.... starting to regret.

A tired looking me holding up the completed works of art. I like the yellow sequin flowers...

Today I did a little spring cleaning...small redecoration.

Spring cleaning BEFORE: my drawer-top, random small bottles of lotions, accessories I never wear, a clock, some arty stuff, a card TheBoyfriend gave on our first monthniversary, hellokitty coinbank from japan, kewpie baby from hongkong, clock from kenny, tree of accessories and statue of liberty. Yes, the statue we should all worship if we were to worship one.
Framed up the card from TheBoyfriend, rearranged stuff under the tree of accessories. Yes, I have black photoframes from Ikea lying around.

The white frame bought from bangkok about 10 bucks.Used my new magiclean duster... it is soooo useful, I feel like buying one for everyone! Decided to put those stuff I bring out in bags, like ishuffle, lip glosses and hairpins in the clear compartments. Used a black soap dish I bought from Daiso some time back for a place to put my keys and hp. Also used the owl keychain - just blu tacked the key ring to side of soapdish.

Ta-dah! All my things look neat now, I am in half a mind to throw out all the necklaces and bangles I bought because it was pretty but never actually wearing them. To make the wall seem less empty, I put up postcards from different places around the world, from my collection. One of vietnam given by Mel. I also put some of my daily used perfumes so I can remember to squirt them on. They are Lovely by Sarah Jessica Parker, it's a unique and light scent, apple martini flavor. The Juicy one seems to be commonplace now although I was assured it was rare when I bought it, oh well. I'm eyeing either Hermes Kelly Caleche or Marc Jacobs scent for my next parfum buy. Next up for spring cleaning would be my bags shelf.