photos of the week

spiritedly brings you interesting images from online sources. Be inspired.



I'm a beta tester for this site, woot! My black and white photograph of L's wedding got on the main page! So happy. L's accidentally famous now. On a side note my cam's acting up. Think the batt's too old. Takes one shot and it goes empty. Argh.



I like the combi on the left - pink socks with court shoes, makes me want to rush out to buy those (would look good with my checkered skirt)... Been buying a lot of pink clothes and I'm glad the pink comes in these bisque hues.



Like the shirt.



I like the photography effect. Wish someone would take a photo of me like this! Can't tell it's Kelly Clarkson right...looks so WOW.



Part of a trend report where brands tie-up to make interesting and cool stuff. Such a simple yet cool effect.



Part of a project I'm doing. Heh. Photo taken by ultra cool japanese photographer!



Interesting photo. It has some deep concept, about reflection of your own shadows or something. I like praying mantises too, growing up we kept lots for pets.




In Singapore, McDonalds tries to up its cool factor by doing the Mc Cafes. Hello europe, McDs turn gothic... Actually, just trying to use black to be cool... LOL



New Urban Male! 235! Few people know what the 235 stands for... Heh heh. I know, of course! They gave me a 'media discount' on their prdts so am loving them. bought 2 shirts and slippers. Yay yay yay!



I LIKE!!! Nils Butler. The inner SPG in me is screaming.


Ok, enough flakiness for the day... Time to catch my bus for Melaka!

happy!

Heh.

Went to This Shopping Centre with Captain Zero for dinner yesterday. As usual; he was not on time at the promised time but I didn't mind, because I realized that... woot! This Shopping Centre has...factory outlet shops! A first, in Singapore! There were the usual suspects Giordano and G2000 - but really cheap... $8! $10! You know. Haha... and I happily bought two skirts and one nice shirt for a steal from Club Marc, it's this US brand - some of the clothes are very corporate but the rest are nice, functional, and good material. I got a nice pink-black and white checked skirt, so good for work... I find it increasingly difficult to dress for work nowadays when all my clothing is either super-corporate (think black and stuffy suits) or super lok-cok, so there needs to be more of those in-betweens in my wardrobe! Looking forward to look uber chic everyday now.

I'm heading to Melaka later. Finally! Trip got postponed for a few weeks, it seems like there are neverending things to do on the weekend here. I realised that I should not ask ladies 'I'm going to Melaka, what do you want me to buy in Melaka' because their eyes will light up at the possibilities, and ask me what's there to buy there... and I will be going on shopping trips. Haha! I'm also going to reshoot my pilot segment... so I brought nice un-lok-cok (hopefully) clothes to wear, there. Glad to meet Chestnut again too.

happy!

captain zero, outside cathay, a few realizations made

Just thought that these shirts I found selling online are nice. Especially the 'bleeding heart', definitely a good conversation starter.

I'm really blessed beyond reason - I saw God (more on that in a later writing), and so far, there hasn't been any negative response from ANYONE about anything in work - you can attribute it to a really solid product, but I prefer to say that it's the favor of God. But yes, simply amazing. I could just fall in love with work and have an all day romance! Haha!

A nice, wise lady friend told me that I should date when I'm in the - prime - pink of my youth - time, and don't waste it, because the years will just pass by quickly. I really appreciated that, although we had just met - I felt that we could communicate on a deep level, which is rare for me. I do remain skeptical about the people I meet and seldom take them for face value. Well, how can I put it into words that for me, whilst otherwise I would have thoroughly enjoyed dating - me being me, dating having the thrills of new experiences and the pleasure of meeting new individuals from whom, I can analyse stuff and learn something from, the fun-ness of it... But now that I am fully 'into' what God has for me and not wavering from the possibility that the best one might not be the best one, just accepting it firmly, without hesitation and without doubt, the excitement of dating seems random and purposeless to me.

But... how to tell her?

I wasn't intent on scaring my new friend off by going into rounds of 'God told me this and that' 'my destiny' 'God's WIL FOR MY LIFE!!!', so I just mentioned that there was a guy I had my eye on, I've known him since I was 19. We aren't dating right now but remain as close friends, and we do meet each other quite frequently in The Church and other settings.

Hee.

At the end, she said, You have to tell him! (Now why is this phrase so familiar.)
Yes, I know I have to.
But I don't want to?

She said, Just get an answer from him! Don't hold on for too long for I've seen many girls that way. Sometimes all you need to move on in life is a 'YES' or 'NO' answer.

On the way home yesterday, I kept thinking about that. She was right. At a later stage, I will need to know, to hear a yes or no.
Sometimes things ARE that simple.



So.
It all started with moisturizer.

Or rather, a brand of moisturizer. Specifically, Jergens' original with cherry-almond scent.

I was feeling miffed after a certain someone in Captain Zero's past escapades showed up. Well, not literally - as to him, she had always been a part of his life. Anyways, the point was that - if you were to choose your own happiness but there was the need to sacrifice something along with it, would you?

Initially I was ok about it (the part where Zero sacrificed us - our friendship- for the one true happiness in life) but later on, negative emotions like hurt, sadness, narrowing of eyes came to reflect on my visage.

Apparently, spiritedly has come to realise that she has envisioned that now that hers' and Zero's friendship has cemented into a certain stage, she thinks that he will be in her life, forever, sharing nice memories of watching movies, shopping in vivocity, and other friendly stuff. Forever - or at least the next ten years.

So she told him so, in a stuttering way, outside cathay. (Why does it strangely rhyme?)

And we mentioned the moisturizer... drat that Jergens.

The moisturizer being a certain obscure brand that spiritedly used, liked, and trusted. And wanted to buy again as The Office was drying out her fingers. Unbeknownst to her, that certain someone also liked to use the exact same moisturizer with the cherry almond scent.

Of all the moisturizers, she had to use my brand, spiritedly thought. But it's ok, I will find another one that I will like.

After sampling many other brands like Dove, Nivea, Neutrogena, Lux... etc!! She bought the same one in the end. But Zero thought that it was thoughtful of her not to smell like a certain someone, lest it brought back memories.

And all was well!

Many realizations these days...

overwrought

Started - and finished reading "Dear John" by Nicholas Sparks today. He's quite a famous author and 'The Notebook' ranks highly on my favorite books. I'm quite a reader, and with this month's paycheck I've bought 6 books this month. Plan to spend quiet weekends reading vicariously but in busy busy sg, I seem to never find the chance. I'm exhausted. I've worked - or had things to attend to almost every weekend that I feel that I've never really 'rested' this year. I guess it's a similar story for the many people who really have fulfilling jobs. I begin to wonder if I'm turning into someone who cannot escape from the routine, and can I stay positive in the midst of all the bad stuff? There's been more good than bad, but some things that are going on, I can't help but worry.

The book 'Dear John' helps me to understand Captain Zero a little better. And in some ways, understand why I didn't use to understand him - and people that are like him. For a long time now, I've always felt more comfortable baring my heart to rational, logical people. People who can think in the way I do and respond in the way I expect. People whom I can spend hours with sitting and looking at some scenery and feel utterly at peace, discussing philosophical stuff and analysing, almost disecting lives and personalities.

But when you are given a chance to glimpse into another person's world, that little glimpse may just change your life forever.

It's so easy to judge things by our own human perception.

It's so easy to say, ah, I cannot communicate with this person. This person has some problem. I cannot understand this person...

I'm not just talking about my situation here but I guess everyone feels misunderstood at times. But unlike people who try to win people on their side and justify their actions and sayings, I don't even bother to defend myself.

Maybe I've just met too many of these self-centred people. And I also don't see the need to bother when I could be doing something else like happily working at fruitful matters. I digress, the point of what I want to say is that the book, the story, like the other Nicholas Sparks stories, always reminds me of the truth.

The truth is, we should love God more. We should love each other more. We should love, without having to apologize, or letting our pride get in the way, or making it an obligation or a responsibility.

When a story touches you in a way like it did to me, a part of you changes like never before.

I'm sick and the worst thing is I don't even know what I'm down with. Maybe it's just exhaustation. I don't want to over-analyse and study all the diseases online and worry that I have fibromylagia or ...whatever. I'm a fan of the tv show House, and I do have worrisome thoughts, CSI-style. It's just minor non debilitating symptoms so I shouldn't have any cause for concern.

Still, being healthy is really important to me.
Being ok with yourself is, too.

I've met so many good people this week (while filming and having meetings) I think the world is not such a bad place after all. And while I still can, I'm going to smile at as many people as possible.

overzealous

Things said at my Office everyday could be turned into a script for some sitcom...

Overheard, at MY Office:

Yesterday:
Lady colleague: Boss, are you free?
Boss: No, I'm $50 per hour.
...

Last week:
Same lady colleague(talking to guy intern while turning up the aircon): Hey, are you hot?
Me (sarcastic):No, he's not!

*Hoots*

Boss(while talking about the space in the office): I'd just let them (new interns) have my table then I can go sit...
Me: You can have the space under my table! (I use it to store all my barang)
Boss: Yeah! Then you can kick me while you're working.
Me: ...

Me(trying to slot in a meeting): When is a good time to have a meeting, Boss?
Boss: Next time we will launch an application where we can see each other's schedule and then we can just key in the meetings.
Me:...Eh, you didn't answer my question!

*Hoots*

It's actually really funny when this happens to you in real life.

==

I've got lots of things to write about actually as things have been happening and happening and I feel so - out of touch, out of place. I've been having cluster headaches almost everyday for two weeks now, and I just have this perpetually dreamy feeling throughout the days I am plagued by it. Don't really like to dwell on the bad stuff, but sometimes it's just a sad process of growing up when the responses from people you thought might care just makes you feel worse. I've been guilty of it too, when Captain Zero catches me on a bad day I just bite his head off, only to feel that later on, 'I shouldn't have.' The sadder part is, most people fail to realize that about themselves, perhaps only much later when it is too late for redemption.

And then you realize that... the people that really care are really few.

Anyways! Things are looking up. No more headaches, really happy at work and play.

I mentioned to a friend that,

'Sometimes you know in your heart what you need to do but you... don't do.
Or the things you know you have to work out... but neglect to do it till something happens.' I just said it without thinking much about it and then later on realised that that contained deep nuggets of thoughts. Been highly encouraged by many well meaning friends, mostly older than me, to 'confess' to TBO. Or rather, 'hint' to him. Hehe. I will, soon. I mean, I'm just enjoying the sweet moments that we share and don't want to ask for anything more right now.

I also like the way how some friendships turned out. Me, Captain and PS Chua was just lounging about the other day at the park near my place. Some parks are creepy, you just don't want to hang around for too long, or just too isolated. For my place, there are old people walking their dogs, teenagers, decent people who are just exercising and sitting down and chatting that makes it a very positive ambience. On weekends you can sit down and read a book sitting on the bench in the shade, while hunks and marrieds play soccer in the background. It's too positive at times though, sometimes we hang there and talk and talk until the wee hours. Which is what we did!

I was kind of saddened by the way I was linked to Captain and described as 'someone who once had feelings for him' - more scandalously - 'while he was STILL attached!' Sigh. I guess there are some people in church who will not stop at anything to get what they want. Don't they realise that they should choose to believe in something more positive, and also, verify the facts. I am rational that way - if someone told me something like this about a person I hardly knew, I would want hard facts, like maybe a steamy letter of confession? That should do the trick. But herein lies the most interesting, and logical (to me) conclusion: that that someone is not targeting me, but, rather, Captain Zero. In a way, it's also quite stupid. Because I would do something more positive. Like befriend me, add me to facebook and then slowly, get on our good books. I can't imagine why people would want to antagonize me, his best friend. So he has to make a hard decision? And guess what, if he chooses to forsake me, it tells about the depth(shallowness) of his character (and that our friendship is not worth anything anyways.) So I don't think Captain will forsake me (as he promised me not to but I am a skeptic at heart)... but this situation can be avoided easily, it's just that some people prefer to do things in this stupid way, for their whole lives. I can easily see why people fall into this trap. But I'd rather not. Sometimes things can get political especially when people know that I have a certain level of influence within certain circles. But honestly, I only instigate people to do positive things within reason. And I would never ask my friends to forsake another, nor force them to be unable to attend cell, or to be put in a position which they will be forced to do something they don't want to do.

It's just not right.

i will now take your questions

Sidetrack: Learnt a new 'singlish' phrase - or maybe only GoodDaddy uses it.
Yesterday, after Church:
Me to GoodDaddy: Hey, what ya doin' later? Want to join us for Easter brunch?
GoodDaddy: May not be.
Me: MAY NOT BE? What kind of broken English is that?
GoodDaddy: May not be...joining you later.

Oh. I shall implement the usage of "MAY NOT BE."

Am a beta tester for this new cool search site, www.searchme.com ! Wish I'd thought of this idea myself. Now with all the apps designers, people who design facebook apps FOR FUN; it's going to change the face and feel of the web world. So with open arms I welcome a new player in the search engine market... How it works is simple, you just type in for eg, 'marcel wanders'...For the uninitiated, he's a European (Dutch if you wanna be anal) designer who does lamps, vases, chairs I think...etc. so the site will prompt you for categories, eg - architecture, interiors, historical events... just select the right one, webpages appears, and the screen shot allows you to see what's there, plus at the bottom there is a summary.

As I said, wish I had thought of this earlier. It's revolutionary. Really going to cut down on the time spent surfing and clicking the red 'x' button at the top of the browser.

==

Questions, questions.
As I (and some others around me, you know who you are) navigate down the turbulent path of friendships and relationships, dating, liking, etc, I guess we have many questions and 'decisions' to make. Some, seemingly unimportant can lead to a 'make or break it', depending on the timing and the person.

For instance, choosing the right person to tell your little secret of who you are liking right now.

Or choosing the right time to surprise her/him with the TRUTH.

Haha!

I've been doing some thinking lately and I realised; that like spirituality, each individual's approach to love and relationships is only different in a matter of degrees. For instance, I can be open to... say, going on a trip and sleeping in the same room with a guy friend. But I won't do the same with my boyfriend. And I won't co-habit with him. What's the difference? Well...

I know a girl that feels guilty if she stays out after midnight talking to a guy who is not her boyfriend. I wonder what's the difference between, 10pm, 11pm and, one hour later? I guess our principles, no matter how warped are just different in a matter of degrees. Of course, it's better to err on the side of caution, but it's also a miserable life if you can't tell anyone (anyone of your true friends) who you like or why you like him/her.

And when it comes to the situation and you don't have a clear mind or a clear understanding of your principles, then it could be risky to you. I've known of many girls who have unwittingly or wittingly sabotaged their friends by not being able to keep something that most would term as confidential. As a girl, I would rather like to hear that a guy likes me (And take it as a compliment, not avoid him like the plague) from the guy himself, not from his friends, or his girl friends... It's always girls who like to do this kind of 'sabotaging' act that is why, I steer clear from talking deeply with many girls with this nasty inclination to torture their friends. Some girls also like to spoil a healthy normal guy-girl relationship by throwing questions about their friendship... Goes along the line like "Not bad what, both of you are quite matching... never considered? Blah blah." I must admit that I am guilty of it too, but at least I have the discretion not to say it infront of the embarassed friends. This will only force one or the other of them to say something not-nice, like 'she's not my type', or 'he cannot make it', which in turn is destructive for such a friendship. Perhaps guy-girl friendships are not meant to be accepted by most after all, I read once a lengthy diatribe of how the way the social mirror functions do not accept the gender-blurring distinctions of a purely platonic friendship.

They are hard to come by, so all the more we should treasure them.

I've asked myself what are the qualities I look for in choosing a life-partner.

I am surprisingly very un-choosy about that!
I guess I utilise my feelings more than my high-expectations brain in this area of my life, which is on the contrary for all the other areas.

Well, I think everyone should take a closer look (internal, I don't mean outwardly) and think about the qualities we should have and our dear other halves should.

This is the area in my life which I pray about the most. To me it is important, now, that I've finally realised God's choice is the best choice. Honestly, if it was up to me, I wouldn't have chosen him - the best one. But looking back I think it makes sense. I just pray and claim God's will, haha! I cannot imagine if I don't know, and just go ahead in life, I'd never be satisfied with my own choices. I make lousy choices anyways!

One of the choices I would make is that he should complement me. I am quite aware of my weakness, my inability to speak chinese or to be patient, my flair for being perceptive and visionary but otherwise not able to execute it without ample encouragement, many others...

I think the choices that we make now is very important in shaping our future. Through ours and others' experiences in this area we learn to be a better man and woman, and stay secure. One wrong question or wrong decision and we all fall apart.

So stay close to God, it will be amazing how His plan turns up.
=)

good daddy

Me, 'forking' (attack with a fork) GoodDaddy. He's oblivious to my fork attack and still smiling happily... lol!

I am in a reminiscent mood because I was sickly - first time sickly this year. Staying at home tends to put me into a restless, whirring buzz of inactivity. Staying at home while sickly is even more depressing. But when I am in this state it seems that my thoughts are clearer, and I don't/try not to think about work, just wanting to languish in the safe, sweet memories of the recent past.

We were (along with the other mission trip members) eating succulent seafood at this nice Bali beach -Jimbaran. It was really dark with only candlelight to go round and our chairs sunken into the sand made for a really unique dining experience.

Met up over a weekend dinner with Shiner and his lady colleague. During the course of the conversation, GoodDaddy urged me to sing (maybe he wanted to duet with me secretly?) the song 'What He's done for me', for the lady colleague who was new.

'What He's done for me' became like a theme song of sorts, for us. Due to the fact that we were rehearsing this song everyday during the mission trip, and singing it almost everywhere we went. And that shared moment, in which we both sang, at dinner on a saturday night; voices blending in harmony almost to a split second, was something that made my day!

It reminded me of the times we shared, in the mission trip, the way we led the school kids and the simple rifts of the guitar backing up our singing in the fields, in the van. I wanted to turn to him and just ask, "do you remember..." with a sparkle in my eyes... knowing that my question would be redundant because just by looking at him, I know that he remembers too, though not in the same way which I allude to it, but in a way that only circumstance-shared memories can change a person, and change that moment, into something special, for us.

I always have so many things to tell GoodDaddy. In fact, I store little treasure troves of memories in my mind, like an autopilot, to put them into the 'things I wanna tell him' category of stories and interesting stuff in my daily life routine. But each time I meet him, it seems that time is better spent, traversing in silence.

For where most people form a bond through talking words; our friendship is held through a comfortable, cheerful silence that means that we can just feel at ease in time and space; and with each other; walking, wordlessly.

pure in heart

Read this in The Church's bulletin handout, about how 'those who are pure in heart will see God.'

For me, this is the only 'Beautitude' that I can remember, perhaps because I like it the best! Well... I've always wanted to see God. I don't have any fears or worries about seeing Him. Maybe because for as long as I can remember, I can sense the presence of God around me, and I always feel blessed, somehow. It's hard not to acknowledge God when almost all of your prayers have been answered.

I like the part where it says:
'Let me start with a definition. The word 'pure' can mean 'without contamination'. A person who is pure in heart will therefore be able to see God where others may not. And will be able to hear Him when others cannot. Or they may be able to talk to Him in a way that others wish they could.
... I want to see God.'

It's hard to be 'pure in heart', but it's harder to stay 'impure'. You know, the oft-mentioned quote that if you do the same thing over and over again, expecting different results, that's insanity... this quote is always said in motivational books... which I truly agree, but most people cannot see that their lifes, whether it be spiritual or career wise, they always do the same-old same-old, 'stuck in their comfort zone', always wondering why they are not successful, or happy, or rich... (I just finished reading 'Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, T. Harv Eker)... and they just like to be comfortable, but never achieving their spiritual destiny or the plans that God has for their lives! Even at this young age, I've already seen many people 'stuck in this rut'. They never seem to be satisfied with what's going on at any point in their lives. They always feel unappreciated in their job. Some even feel like it's unfair, how come such and such a person gets less workload then them, but same salary... ... and unsurprisingly, some of these people are church leaders in The Church! =(

I wish that they will be happy someday but I can safely bet that if I meet them again 2 years down, the complaints will inevitably be similar... unless God, or something changes their lives.

For me, it's actually easier counting the blessings than complaining for an hour. It's not that my life is easy. I've had my fair share of troubles too and, perhaps more, than the average Joe. (I have a friend named Joe and he's really above average! heh. Sidetracked!) But I think it's all about focus as well. If we only focus on the negativities, there is no way we're going to 'tahan' our job. Or our partner. Or living in Singapore, for that matter... Our existence will be meaningless and temporary, forever waiting for a once in a lifetime opportunity, to strike the lottery, waiting for someone to lift us out of our miserable existence... ... Wait a minute. Life is not supposed to be like that. So, it's actually easier, to live 'pure in heart', than 'impure in heart'. It's tougher to live with impure motives and wanting to sabotage your friends or talk bad about people. Try it! =)

Broaching this subject, I now don't doubt at all that God has prepared The Best One (mate) for my life, and through the many affirmations, revelations, encouragements from friends etc, I am now at a place where from 'not His will but mine be done', ie - wanting my own way, my own choices, to really submitting to His plans, becoming a woman of destiny in my own right. It's amazing how by just praying - I remember praying 'I surrender all' during those tumultuous times last November - to the peace of mind I have when I think about this subject of love, relationships and a lifetime soulmate. I'm overwhelmed by the support of friends and the love of God.

And although TBO does not have a clue, I am now really opening my heart towards him, in a way that only God can orchestrate. I now find that he is perfect for me, when previously, his unclelish, chinese ways got on my nerves. I know he always has a special opening of his heart towards me for years, just that I've always pushed him away or disregarded it. I feel that my care for him is a natural thing as I've realised that I've always really cared for him in a sweet, tender way, not knowing why. And I believe God will help. It's definitely hard not to say somethings that will... erm, give him some hints, or maybe a clearer picture, but it's also fun to see how God will reveal. In His time.

The love He has for me, I cannot explain...

The week in pictures

Tried my hand at video editing the past 2 days. Haha! Not my cup of tea for doing it full-time for it really boils down to a minute-by-minute analysis. It's more fun to do it also when you are in the video...

Had a 'million dollar idea' - or an idea last night that is worth quite a bit, so was really excited to work on it. Definitely, it will take off somewhere and then I can say, hey, that's my idea!

I've also analysed why I like working here so much, not only because of the opportunity, it is the perfect fit for me. I like sales, but I don't like doing sales 100% of the time. I like designing, but also not 100% of the time. I like to talk to people, but it cannot make up my whole day I'd be exhausted!

So, I do 30% sales, 30 percent design, some percent of managing, thinking, talking, writing... It's the right blend.

Here's the week in pictures. I do trawl the web for inspiration and there's a lot out there that are really good ideas, so here are some things that I've seen, and liked.



Breathtaking shots from www.makeupstore.se. I have tried almost every 'category' of their make up from eyeshadow to mascara to shampoo to ... well, you get the picture. They are the first brand of makeup I've ever bought into as a brand. And for introducing me to lipstick or the varieties of stuff that you can apply on.


Interesting shirt. Closeup, it's actually insect print.


Actually spoke to NUM and they were very, very sweet. Especially when they offer me a 'media' discount! Woo! Plus I thought that it was really interesting that I 'know' the Mr Hougang... from my past frequent visits to Hougang gym. So, who said you can't find hotties from Hougang or Serangoon or Punggol now...


Obama! In his Texas campaign which he so unfortunately lost. He's winning the big ones though. I read TIME so am able to catch up on such political news. I put this photo for fun on my msn, when I am 'irritated', then my Obama pops up to scold people.


Ananda! gush gush... Lilin! gush... Nadya! Qi Yiwu!!! And the power ranger! (Jason something who acted as 'Raymond'.) Apart from eyecandy throughout the show, cinematography is good. Though I didn't like the book, I did like the movie.


My videographer. He is very Chinese inside though he doesn't look a single bit like it. I enjoy working with him, he's a special person and will teach me videography (for free), soon.


Was searching for silhouettes for a poster when I came across this image I liked and saved it.


Another image I liked. Works well as a desktop wallpaper.


Logo designed by Luc Chase for our upcoming show.



Lastly for all the gay guys, here's Mr Hougang wearing next to nothing. Vote for your friendly neighbor!

some stills from my property channel shoot

Shot some footage for the property channel. pilot footage.
These are some stills!
Somehow I look slimmer on video, which is conversely true for most people. =)

my korean friend

This guy, good actor in "Harvard Love Story", Korean drama popular with many aunties including Mom. And I fell in love (with his character portrayal). Ooh, the goldfish eyes, the cheeky smile, the tousled hair... ...!

He is adorable in this banana milk ad.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljaUUJLh5Zk

And scarily(to me), one of my dear friends bears a striking resemblance to him.
Heh. Just shot a property pilot commercial at his place last week.


My friend. Single, tall and rich. (He is worth millions, HK$ or Sg$.) Staying in Singapore... ...
And he also introduced me to one of his cute friends, of which, they are both appearing in my new show. Well, I can say, they are 'eye candy'... of which, I have too many in my life. Temptations, temptations...

I have 'recruited' some of my dateable male friends for my upcoming reality show, soon to be filmed. Trying out co-hosting for the first time. It's really a new thing for me, I seem to be awfully awkward infront of the camera, and unscripted does not work well for me as yet. But surprisingly enough I do sound quite good, calm and... captivating, or so I hope.

the learning curve

Taken by my videographer and his team for RacingThePlanet, Vietnam 2008.

I find that life is enriched by the people you meet and the people you talk to. In my career, not talking to people is not an option. And I think that if you want to succeed in life, it is optimal to choose meeting up with people you can learn something from.

And although the type of work I do now, more than 50% is not in my previous scope of skills, I do try to learn as much as possible, reading books and talking to people who are more experienced than me. And often I find that the people are so nice, so willing to guide me along the way. I'm going to learn how to edit videos! Yay, my videographer has offered to teach me, so has The Boss. Well I believe that I can master it easily, and master it to a level that I can then instruct others how to edit...heh. In the last month I think I've learnt so much on a daily basis that my brain has 'expanded', somewhat. And the funny thing is, similar to muscles that cry out for more exercise once you've reached a certain level, I find that my brain has become more adept and efficient.

Due to my past depressive weeks last quarter, I found that I couldn't remember things, I couldn't even remember simple tasks I needed to do, and my brain was continually at a 'rest' mode. I only wanted to sleep and sleep and not think about anything. Now, it's scary. My brain keeps crying out for more information and I am reading biz books at a furious pace, digesting through magazines. I find a liking for Fortune. In the morning when I wake up, I have to read. On the train, at home... the brain is an amazing thing.

I've realised early on that finding the 'ideal' career is almost impossible for someone my age and qualifications in Singapore. Also, maybe I am always open to possibilities that is why I do not limit myself, and find others around me who are also similar.

Was lunching with TallGuy yesterday. He is now interning at a bank before he graduates from one of our unis. Although we have not talked much while being colleagues at The Office, somehow we share a certain connection, perhaps in a silent language, we have observed each other and the things we find similar and likable. After all a book I read said that body language plays a big part in communication, more so than words. It's always nice to lunch with someone who shares your ideals.

It is not surprising to find out that TallGuy shares the same thinking as me, that we can succeed in (almost) anything we put our minds to. I think few people share the same sentiment, but I think we have a similar sort of motivation here. I know some people who are motivated by $...I guess all of us are to a certain degree and that's not wrong...Others are motivated by just wanting the power that comes with the success, or the fame. I guess I haven't found out what my motivation is yet, although through thinking about it, I do have a few.

Namely,
1. I want to help my boss to be successful.

I think one of the reasons why I am putting in so much effort is that I really believe this biz will takeoff, and it's also one of my goals to help out in a startup for some years now. Funnily though, if it was my own biz, I wouldn't be as motivated to work as hard. Maybe I understand the worries and frustrations of being in charge, so I want to alleviate his worries as much as I can.

2. I want to make a better life for myself.

I've not been very prudent in saving or investing, although I still have a few years to right it, I really want to start a family before 30, so I have a inner motivation to work hard and save, for the next 4 years. Knowing that I can work hard for one year - the last year of my studies, I believe I can also go the distance for this period. Also that more of my time is freed from ministerial duties, I have that many more hours to turn into a success for my career.

The rest of my motivations, I have to think about it. Sometimes, you do not really know what drives you, just that I am very happy in my work and everyday wake up ready to complete as much as possible in every workday. I'm not really ambituous and the inner slacker in me will look out of the window and see that it's a nice sunny day to suntan, or to go off overseas on a whim... I still have that carefree spirit within me, so I have to strike a balance within the two.

I am going to make the most out of my opportunity here. Eventually, we will want to sell the company off. And hopefully, I will be able to share in the profits. Dad wants me to be a "VP" level next year. Hahahaha! (Incredulous laughter)

Being in a startup or a small company is not easy, but I prefer to learn these skills now than later on.

a positive scripting

Spent hours talking to JC yesterday. He's leaving to Oz for a job posting. Will miss him, but at the same time, happy that he has this opportunity to go.

This week I've had many realizations.

This month has been loooooong. Too long!
My friends have gone to Segamat and I can't go, this weekend I actually am at THREE roadshows/networking events. Sabotaged! But I must say that yesterday's one was fine, met some friends who brightened up my day. I actually met six friends due to the roadshows, so I'm glad to have caught up with some of them. Good friends are those who want to help you and see you succeed, in every area of your life. So I was happy although exhausted from all the non-stop talking and standing up wearing corporate clothes.

Read something (Still reading '7 habits) that really made me think for some time.
Covey writes,

Most people are a function of the social mirror, scripted by the opinions, the perceptions, the paradigms of the people around them. As interdependent people, you and I come from a paradigm which includes the realization that we are a part of that social mirror.

We can choose to reflect back to others a clear, undistorted vision of themselves. We can affirm their proactive nature and treat them as responsible people. We can help script them as principle-centered, value-based, independent, worthwhile individuals. And with the abundance mentality, we realize that giving a positive reflection to others in no way diminishes us. It increases us because it increases the opportunities for effective interaction with other proactive people.

At some time in your life, you probably had someone believe in you when you didn't believe in yourself. They scripted you. Did that make a difference in your life?

Grant and I was just sharing on the common values or ideals that we have. Some people seem to want to appear 'close' with us, associating with us and giving others the impression that we are close. However, we have recognized such people, from our past experiences, as people that we would not like to share too much of our lives with, because, besides being known to 'sabotage their friends', they seem to want to know too much about our lives, for motives we cannot comprehend.

But as these people are friends with our other friends, we must be diplomatic towards them. I think I've learnt that I've wasted some time making friends with people who aren't really worth it, and at this point of time in our lives, Grant and I perhaps choose to be mean, but to protect ourselves from these people. Having a meal with such lowlife is not on our agenda right now.

AND WE DON'T HAVE TO APOLOGIZE FOR IT.

And though many would not be able to understand that, I believe that one day, they will. And if they had to choose, I hope that they choose to protect their friends instead of putting their friends in a difficult position. Spending time with the right people is an integral part of shaping one's character, so is decision-making. Ultimately some decisions unwisely made will cause others to be affected.

I've also met up with Huntley last evening and also with Shanghai Boy, the two friends I can call my own, in The Office. Huntley left The Office to work for a local bank, and we just shared about what we have learnt in work this month. It's hectic for him, he says that he only had one weekend of rest, the rest of the weekend was filled up with work. That's crazy. And we shared about how our learning experiences at The Office really helped us now in our new places. For me, I realized that I could meet and communicate what I needed effectively to the right people, and that is really an important part of work for me. But I also miss the slacker-times where we could play golf in the mornings and go for long kopi breaks in the afternoons.

Shanghai Boy (who will be appearing with me in my Travel show), is someone that I instantly take to, at first sight. He is those type of well-brought up people who is polite, and friendly, and charming, and open to new things, and likes to laugh. I find myself makng fun of him all the time, and he seems to relish it. Most of all, there is that wistfulness about life that we both share. Can't really explain it, but I am glad to have met someone like him in The Office. Some people in life you know are good for you, and you can always learn something from them.

I realized also that I don't have any complaining, whiny, self-centred friends though I do meet some in my social circle, and I realized that, THAT'S AMAZING! Because some of my friends have been through worse shit that no one ever wants to go through, but they smile everyday and you think they have it made till they share their story. I guess that also explains why I instinctively warm up to some and others, I am barely able to talk to them.

For those people, George Bernard Shaw writes:

This is the true joy in life - that being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one. That being a force of nature, instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die. For the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It's a sort of splendid torch which I've got to hold up for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.






Earn thy neighbor's love.

thinker at work

Interesting photos to think about for more than 5 seconds.
http://thingsihavelearnedinmylife.com/sentence/photography/love-can-make-me-unreasonable

Well. Had quite an interesting day today. 4 meetings. All interesting. Caught up with Rich Dad for the last one, a UK guy with really nice pale blue eyes, and a stunning Texan videographer, and a government association. All in my network. It's actually quite easy for me to call people up and they want to meet me, and it's so easy to get those meetings with them. I call it the favor of God because I honestly have no skill in calling. I'm still not used to being seated at the computer at The New Office, so when I can, I arrange for meetings. Which means my 'paperwork' gets pushed back. The stickynotes app is filled up with things I can't remember wanting to get done, and I have a passport photo of the Texan videographer because I told him I wanted a profile of him (in case I forget about him.)

And I'm typing reports and designing stuff and loving every minute of it.
It's the kind of career I've always wanted just that there isn't a way of getting it unless you know the right people.

And knowing the right God is imperative.

I've realised that I can 'size people up' pretty quickly now that I meet so darn many people in my career.

Not that I do it intentionally.

It's just the thinker, analytical part of me which kicks in and just goes to myself, 'hmmm, he is really a smart person'... or 'hmmm, they really like us...' And being a thinker has its plus points in work, although not dominant thinkers. I was chatting with Dad last night and we agreed that #1: choleric types/dominant people who just like to boss others around, even ministry-wise, have few friends, and their lives are quite sad... presumabably because they have few people who really love them and can tolerate them. #2: In today's knowledge based economy, people are not really hired for their skills (At least for me, I know I can train people to be as good if not better than me) and so, soft skills is just as important if not more, than the ability to get work done. Few would agree but I guess this is the way work works now, and it has worked well for me. I can be quite dominant with my self, at work, to myself, but to others I'm really soft, chatty, easygoing (at least I hope so.)

Thinkers at work also benefit because we don't feel too much, like this is not our cup of tea and thus find it easier to get over the psychological barrier that feelers have, we just do it. There are things I'd prefer to delegate all the time, but I guess the masochistic side of me wants to experience life in its totality, so I challenge myself to meet people I'm not familiar with though I'd rather not, call strangers and chat and try to sell something, though I don't like sales, I just do it. And it turns out not to be a bad thing after all. Because life is meant to be lived in living color and no matter what, I feel that we should be open to new opportunities and challenges daily. That's how we grow, that's how we become better managers, wiser parents, more understanding lovers, and share what we learn with the people we meet along the way.

someone(s) worth investing in

Had a meetup with Jelly yesterday for dinner. Jelly is your typical engineering guy who wears polo tees, specs... except he has nice muscles from all the canoeing, and is really a sweet guy inside if you can see past the 'woodblockness'. He's in my tag team too so I'm kinda glad he initiated the meetup... as we had gone through some horrid things last year, it was a sort of solace to find someone also struggling to come to terms with reality and the gamut of emotions one runs through while trying to live, love and serve God all at one go.

I identified with what he said, "I never imagined it would turn out this way", and while for me things are different, he still has hope that the friendship that turned sour would one day be put right again, that all he wants is to have a happy friendship with the person. I guess meeting with Chestnut and Jelly, reminds me of the kind of people I want to keep close by. I've learnt to be more selective in the choice of my friends, and who I share my secrets, my heart to: friends that are worth investing in. Some people that you can trust for a lifetime and you look forward to each time you can see them. If all goes well I'd be visiting Chestnut next month, and I'm going to bring him a supply of his fave chocs (after eights); one thing about Melaka is that they don't have many nice chocs, or they are all incredibly expensive, Sarawak too... chocs are the one thing we have in plenty...

Read something over the past few days that made me ponder for a while. It's about the term we always use, or see in the biz world, "win-win". Though I do use it often, I never knew where it originated or the other terms besides "win-lose".

Actually this term can be applied in every relationship, and it's interesting how people who are scripted in the 'win-lose' dichotomy don't really win, in the long run. Sometimes I admit, I am guilty of that, too. I need to win at work... in friendships and relationships, especially in cell-ministry, I guess I am more win-win, always bearing in mind that members' feelings are to be respected and also to keep them in the loop and sharing openly, I felt that sharing openly gains you more respect as a person than those kind of testimonies that I find quite insincere and uninspiring... well, some people do treat every friendship with a win-lose mentality, which is quite sad or scary, the way you look at it. End of the day, you don't really win anything. There is also 'lose-win', whereby the mr nice guy always finishes last, being nice to everyone, means you lose, and you will feel cheated or other negative emotions as well. There is lose-lose, which I feel is quite revengeful, like if you can't have it, you destroy it, and no one can have it... and also there is 'no deal' which often happens in negotiations which needs either a win-win or no deal.

I've been thinking of this in terms of work, upper management styles, and even how we communicate and put across our needs... this matters because often we always think of our self-interest and convenience first, and only after we give it much thought then do we become more win-win.

Jelly was mentioning that his criteria for a girl that he would fancy is totally unrealistic and almost impossible. Once, when I was young like him, I also had such criteria. Basically, tall dark handsome rich christian godly blah blah... although I did have some luck in 'catching' these prospects, ultimately it's the one who will make your heart flutter + God's anointed best that is the right one, and often he won't be tall dark handsome rich...yadda yadda. So what do you do? You slowly accept and come to terms with it.

Because God also wants a win-win.

makeupstore

The MakeUp Store's new spring collection.
I also want to get married, but not to such a good(pretty)looking fellow.
Haha!

Been busy but enjoying every moment of it. I shall write about my work another time, but realised that I really have favor with people who want to teach me things all the time, themselves being really successful and motivational and passionate about their craft. And also glad that my current work allows me to keep in touch with Rich Dad. The current boss is the best, I couldn't ask for more. I just hope that I will be productive and really show my worth.

Also been keeping myself occupied with a bit of designing, (animoto is so userfriendly!) video-watching and producing...New field for me but with my background, hope to do a good job.

wedding video

my first attempt...

hi,bye

Beijing's T3 opened in February. T3 is reported as the largest and most advanced airport terminal in China and will have an initial capacity of 35 million annual passengers.

Had a meaningful conversation last night at the park and it occurred to me and my chat buddy that many people are just 'trying to be nice', but, perhaps because of trying too hard, the level of friendship that we have been on just never gets past THAT level.

Or maybe, all of us choose who we want to be nice to, and who we want to be friends with. I'm disgusted with the way sg society operates on in almost every level, that people who speak their own mind and actually have opinions and good ideas are often not as well-favored by those who seem to be 'mr friendly' and don't stir the water's edge. It's okay if you are naturally smiley and friendly like Kie, but for those who ain't, faking it is obviously hypocritical and I guess, tiring for the individual as well.

We were also wondering why some of the friendsips with some of the people whom we had known since the beginning of last year did not really take off - it remains status quo from the first hello. Perhaps like a union of souls, it takes two hands to clap. Maybe some people are not PROACTIVE in making lasting friendships. Perhaps they don't really care about us. We were thinking of the reasons why some friendships became close and some did not take off and this thought fascinated me. I do feel close to some in our group, despite not really associating or communicating with them on a daily basis. Others, I have had the chance to interact with more often, but never really felt a 'sense of belonging' with them.


So, I guess, I have no answer. Some friendships that I was hoping to be a good one for me never really materialised, others, appeared suddenly which was wonderful; people like Clone, Zero... I didn't TRY to hook up with them, really! Perhaps we share similar experiences or same outlook on life.

There's a part of us that connects to different ones in different ways.

realize

If you just realized what I just realized
Then we'd be perfect for each other
And we'll never find another
Just realized what I just realized
We'd never have to wonder if
We missed out on each other now. -Colbie Caillat.

Been listening to Colbie Caillat on Jango.com, a social networking radio website where you can listen to other people's fave artists. Basically almost every song is there from the 70s onwards. Dad is addicted to the site.

==

As I grow older, I begin to look forward and really cherish the friends that I want to spend time with. It's a sad but true thing that some of our friends don't have time for us anymore. Inevitably, that's a part of growing up. So instead of otherwise spending my friday evening, I chose to spend it with Chestnut. It was the last day of his exams, so we just walked along the Singapore river and talked about life, love and God. I love talking to him because he provides an insight into life I can understand, and he has the faith too, like me. Chestnut's a really smart and handsome chap, and he's one of those lifetime friends, for me. It's funny because he said sheepishly that his mom keeps asking about me, how was I doing and stuff. Am I on the approved list? Like my parents, his mom leaves 'the decision' to him. Well, I'm the only friend that has come to visit him. Hee. I do like the mom. But I don't love the son... =)

He's going back on Monday and I shall visit him, soon. He makes me homesick for Melaka.


Melaka, miss you...

There are some places in the world that calls you, that has a magic about the place that you can't forget about, and you always wish to go there, in your heart. Chestnut's brother is working in KL and he says the angmohs there always prefer Melaka to KL. The inner angmoh in me agrees with them. Though shopping in KL is quite good, as shopping in any major city is, it gets all the same after a while. I'd rather shop in singapore than KL, HK or any other place. For me, Melaka is one of those places that somehow has the power to hold me, (Japan too!) and call me to come back, again, like the way an old flame has the power to make your heart beat faster (not for me though, maybe only for guys?) Perhaps I've meaningful growing-up experiences there that cannot make me forget my Melaka?

Old flame, I'm coming back, soon.

love is a verb

Love-the feeling- is a fruit of love, the verb.

In the great literature of all progressive societies, love is a verb. Reactive people make it a feeling. They're driven by feelings. If our feelings control our actions, it is because we have abdicated our responsibility and empowered them to do so.

Proactive people make love a verb. Love is something you do: the sacrifices you make, the giving of self, like a mother bringing a newborn into the world. If you want to study love, study those who sacrifice for others, even for people who offend or do not love in return. If you are a parent, look at the love you have for the children you sacrificed for. Love is a value that is actualized through loving actions. Proactive people subordinate feelings to values.

Love, the feeling,can be recaptured.

-Stephen R Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

I've always believed that you can choose your feelings and choose who you want to be. Yesterday, I talked to a guy, a stranger on my msn, and he was looking to be attached, in a relationship,because he couldn't take being single, and lonely. I guess that's the wrong reason for me, to be attached and am wary of such men. After all, it's easy to get attached, but it's scary if you are looking to the relationship as your main source of fulfilment.

Even though some people say that Christ fulfils them and they are ok with being single, their actions and reactions spell otherwise for the wise ones who quietly observe. Deep down inside, they are searching for someone to complete them, but the search often backfires, for ultimately, they will either find someone looking for the same thing - which does not bode well for the impending relationship - or they will just appear needy and clingy, which too often drives highly functioning and proactive men - and women, away.

I have some single women friends who, after years of being single for perhaps too long, forgotten how it was like to be cheerful and content by themselves, without a partner. I honestly dread talking to them, for eventually, the question of whether am I seeing someone will arise, and they cannot understand why I am content, for this season of my life, to be single. Of course, it is much easier for me as God has already spoken quite directly. But I'm sure God has spoken to them too - if they pray about it, for I am sure they must have, and waited on the Lord, definitely He will tell them something. But in their waiting time, they become cynical and cannot offer pure joy when they hear about other people's happiness. I cannot judge them, for it is too easy to become like that. Hope deferred truly makes the heart sick. I avoid such talk, because I know that it will poison my mind.

For me it is the other way round, too. Having been attached for most of my dating life, most of the time seeing someone or romantically involved with some guy, I relish, and cherish the single times. I've realised all along that I don't need a man to bore me, oops, I mean, fill up my time with...(guy friends more than make it worthwhile for me) and it's worthless spending time with people who are simply, not worth it. It came to my knowledge that one of my ex-boyfriends, a man of ill-repute whom I had unwisely chosen, was about to meet up with a certain number of my guy friends. I was unhappy about it. If one could argue that Jesus also ate with the tax collectors and the prostitutes,
on the other hand, 'bad company corrupts good morals'. I was telling Grant that the people we associate with are very important, and why would you want to waste time, waste a perfectly good evening meeting someone whom you know can't benefit your life, value-wise, and talk to the person, talk about what? Even if you wanted to 'care and connect' with him, are you strong enough to? I would rather stay at home, even with myself, it's better company. I feel strongly about it because I had wasted too much time associating with him.

I hope that my friends have some moral sense to make good decisions about who they are spending time with. Even though it is only a one-time thing.

I guess sometimes we need to reflect on our thoughts, feelings and actions, and realise that love is a verb. I thank many people who have shown love to me, helping me to realise my future potential.