bemused

IcedMountain has been laughing at. me. non. stop.
*humpf* It seems that everything I say amuses him...

Although, I am kinda tickled by it and start to be infected, too. Even Knarf is bemused by the way some stupid things can set us off into a flurry of giggles. We have different funny perspective on life, I think...

Quote of the day, said IcedMountain when I drew the Guardian Angel (which represents his unspoken wish to be someone's happy angel) on a 'snow' frosted window while having dessert bowl:
"Creative head... and itchy hands!"

Lol.
Last weekend, was buried in Eragon (yes I've finished it and started Eldest) - I was actually drawn to buy 'Brisingr' because of the author, and the cover, beautiful drawing of an angmoh dragon who seems to be smiling, yet not smiling, something of an enigma like Mona Lisa. Eragon's quite a page-turner compared to Brisingr, a slow, relaxed kinda read which I'd be content to flip a chapter each day. Maybe that's why I took a day to read Eragon whereas Brisingr... haven't finished in a month. I'm glad for this opportunity to slow down and just spend a day at home. Hopefully, the rest of the week is also like this.

Also, the poignant memories are still there, but not getting to me as much as before. It's so nice to treasure the simple happy moments, instead of pondering upon anguished thoughts.

I went to Bali last year around this time, give or take a couple of weeks; so, revisiting the place:


MY favorite which I've influenced everyone in the team to try (Except P Kenny who sticks to Coke)... Wah, I really miss the thirst quenching feeling of the Sosro...


Another favorite 'Apokat'...somehow tastes better in Bali... they add chocolate sauce you know!



Who can forget, the most beautiful sight I've ever seen in my life, sunset at Tabanan village - the sunset is real pink and purples... and the rice fields reflecting the hues...I can stare at it for hours.


We prayer walked around the monument


Babi!!!
Yuks.
Apparently it's a famous dish there...although not to my liking.


BBQ Fish at Jimbaran beach... breezy, seaside place.


Entertainment during lesson time. I teach how to sing Amazing Love, haha.


Our entourage behind (the motorcyclists)so we can be cool in the van.


Our VERY handsome churchworker-tourguide-vandriver (on the right) who hails from Menado. In Bali we met many people from different parts of Indon, there are people from Timor-Leste, Menado, Javanese, even met a guy from Komodo Islands, cool!


Pastors and us from Morning Star Assembly!

tattooed

The Shakespeare guy said, 'the course of true love never did run smooth.'
I've always liked this chinese phrase that was popularized in a watch commercial, it says, 'heck care about timeless love to the ends of the earth, only care that you once have had, and had cherished' ...to that effect. Maybe by holding it close to my heart it spells out my destiny as all my loves seem thwarted by some unseen force.

I don't mean to make others remember their deep, past loves too, but I guess that somehow, I do. I'm sorry but at this point of time I just have sudden, stinging, poignant recollections...even whilst surfing FB (which I seem to be active on lately) I just surfed to a young chap's profile, a guy who used to hang out with Zero, those buddy sessions of playing games, and I remembered the last time we bumped into him, somehow, my mind has a life of its own and although this week I have been generally chirpy (and able to sleep well and all), THAT memory of something insignificant by all senses made me sleepless! And chatting with Mr Hans lately, too - we share fond memories and he suggested (not your fault, Hans, it's mine) we catch up to share how we miss Zero and I was... !!!

-_-

I know him too well, I feel that it's MYSELF that I don't know. Thoughts and feelings alien to me cloud my mind recently.

Okay. I shall hypnotize myself, lalala.

Was busy this week filming a tattoo show - I always wanted to do something like that, being a fan of Miami Ink's style. I think people, myself included have misconceptions about Tattoo artists' work... and the people who do them. So far, all the locals we have interviewed are really nice, in fact they are quite camera-shy and introverted - I guess you have to be of a calm and quiet disposition to be really good at the art. I've always wanted a tattoo but I never knew what to get, I always jokingly/half-seriously told my friends I'd do my husband's name on my ass... hope his name is not long, like 'christopher'... Being bored and also for the sake of creating a good video, I got the organizer Kirby to do one for me. Uninked, of course... so I told him what I liked and he drew ...robot wabbit. Haha. I think that somehow it does describe me. It's funny how others can see you better than yourself sometimes. So, well, I have been under the needle. The pain is bearable, lesser than I imagined but at certain points it's cringifying. My parents were cool about it, showed it to Mom who started quoting Bible verses, showed it to Dad who thought it was 'fake blood' (because it's un-inked, it is 'inked' with my blood, so the outline is red, actually, quite gross to look at closely) and when I told him it was MY blood he went 'eeks'!

Hahaha.

I also saw many people who did portraits of their wives/gf on their chest, close to their heart, I thought that was really meaningful. What better way to keep them close.

Maybe I need one tattoo of a heart with a small crack to represent the meaning of this intensity, this 'what happened'-ness.

Josh Groban's I'll be home for Christmas

A song which brings tears to my eyes each time I hear it.
Come back, Captain...


To all who serve and have served, and to their families - Thank You for your strength and sacrifice and may God bless you.

enchanted

Cavenagh Bridge is a good place to propose... especially if it holds nice memories for you.

For me, I used to spend summery hot afternoons eating my sandwich at the Singapore River overlooking Cavenagh bridge. Working at One Fullerton, that pocket of nature amongst the busy cityscape area was my point of respite. I remember looking at Cavenagh bridge once when I was stranded at the Fullerton reception by a thunderstorm, and wondering what sights it must have weathered, what stories it might have stored.

And through last night's conversations I realised that maybe I am not alone in these feelings, that even guys also cherish sweet memories and expectant thoughts of a future with someone special.

We were enacting a 'speed-dating' mass-up between some sporty lasses and laddies in our group - since I was keen to be an observer and eat my ice-cream before Kie finishes it all, we couldn't understand what the hullabaloo was all about. Later, someone was mercilessly teased - he later revealed he had thought of nice places to propose, like the Cavenagh bridge - having a touch of romance sure wows girls in times like these. For me, if I ever go speed dating, I think I will ask questions like, 'Have you ever fallen in love before?' , 'What are the characteristics you look for in a mate?' or just stare into their eyes... hehe, to find out who they really are.

And when I'm lonesome, I find myself having imaginary conversations with a person I hold close to my heart. I wish that his presence could grace my hours more often, the way we used to. I want to whisper, that even though he does not know it, his hands are holding, my heart. That I am the stability factor in his tumultous life, and I forgive everything he has said that has caused me pain, because I know that I can be like that too, in these times. I wonder if he has changed so much by the current circumstances that he does not remember me anymore, that he does not remember my name, or the way we used to talk, without reservations or obligations, that every meeting of us was so important to me- that I felt furious and lost at it being unmaterialised. That although I seem to not be in touch with my feelings I can't understand why I am thrown into this whirlwind of emotions just because I miss him, as if missing him alone was a vital ingredient to rob me of my senses.

And because I am like this, I cannot make his problems my problems, I just need to let things be, 'In His Time'. I am impatient because I love too intensely. If there is any fault, let it be mine, my lonesome heart has held dear the presence of a highly esteemed friend who now means more to me than anything else.


It has been said that every girl's wish is to marry a rich guy - every guy seems to know this. What they don't know is that 'rich' doesn't have to equal $$$; he can be rich in other things - like romance.

sighed

On rainy days, I like to introspectively reminisce on nice times shared, somehow the tumultous times spent last year and the better memories that go along with it sprouts in my mind. Maybe being overworked and overtired and slightly soggy from being in the rain and having a wet umbrella as part of your appendage makes me feel super... ... MELANCHOLY!

Talking with Architect today helped me to remember a lot of things. I found that due to my depressive state last year, there were some memory lapses. It's nice to forget, true, but also feel bad at not-remembering.

So...I remembered how I met Mr Hans. At that point of time I knew God has intended me to meet him for some reason, (not THAT reason) which I could not fathom at that point...later I realised that MrBestFriend had brought him to church, and MrBestFriend has apparently disappeared off the face of the earth, despite some leaders' relentless belief... ... always one for challenges, and hoping that MrBestFriend would remember that once upon a time we were close, I persistently smsed him, about my Melaka trips, about the way I was... till one day he responded, and we watched movies together and became best friends. Thanks to Mr Hans - maybe God also prompted him to speak to me that day. And I realised that MrBestFriend was the most appropriate one to help me through the bleakest time in my life, uplifted by the singing of love songs... ... and I also encouraged him to contact the ex-gf...

Maybe now I regret it.

Architect was kinda affected by my mood - so he asked me to think about what I'd like to do to be happy.

I realised that besides being at the horizon of sand and sea and feeling the ocean spray on my face, I'd be happy...in Melaka, eating peanut butter sandwiches everyday for breakfast and sleeping in a place where you are awakened by the sound of birds chirping...I'd be happy!

I'd also be happy watching movies, back to back with MrBestFriend. Any movie.

Sigh. Sigh. sighsighsigh.

bene-fitted!

Extremely Happy!
Stoked!
Enthusiastified!

Received yesterday, an early Christmas present.
Whee!


This bag was couriered to me office yesterday...


I told Benefit I'm a fan, so they sent me some products to try out...Wow!


*whistles
The posietint is good for gals like me who are fair skinned - Actually I'm not THAT fair but I still prefer pinky tone to red tone... hee.


My lashes are happy.


My face is happy...


My lips are glossily happy.


Ironman is happy ...haha. I love that dude.

It pays off to be a fan! *hugs imaginary benefit sponsor.







Spiritedly's face by Benefit.

questioned

I built some small sandcastle...

When I wrote your name on the sand.

Quite like most young lovers were wont to do - I wrote your name in the sand.

Pantai Lanjut, the beach where I had spent most of my childhood memories, one of the most unspoilt shores on the east coast of the Peninsula I was familar with; where all the 'restorans' in the nearby towns of Kuala Rompin and Mersing offered decent, unbelievably tasty food at unbelievably low prices. That beach was the place I spent the better part of my weeknd, missing you - not wanting to admit that I was, missing you.

At first, I wrote your name, z--- in font size 300, in caps - Your name looks better in caps. And then I added a 'heart' in front.
Followed by 'i'.

I HEART Z---.

But, I was never one to say; or do, (or write) something I did not feel wholeheartedly - the unspoken curse of a thinker woman, I added additional words.

Perhaps, the feeling of love, trust and respect I knew I already had just did not translate to a proclaimation of an 'I LOVE YOU' on the beach of my sweet memories; despite the fact that there weren't anyone around to witness it - I was the only one around for miles, save the little sand crabs and a much bigger one I saw everyday chasing the waves that lapped on the shore. It reminded me of Mr Krabs, somehow - I couldn't help saying to him 'Hi Mr Krabs!' in my best impersonation of Spongebob.

So it was written on the sand,
'DO I HEART Z---?'

The addition of 'Do', and '?' seemed so...looming, especially the '?', it seemed to be mocking the inner sanctums of my soul.

I stared at what I had written for a long time, hoping that somehow a powerful wave would wipe it away, along with my troublesome thoughts.

That question shall be left unanswered for now.
Some questions need no answers.

Maybe missing someone equals loving someone, or worrying too much about someone signifies that you care, more than you think, more than you know, more than you care to write about.

Endless stretch of sand and sky... and you're the only one on the beach


The relaxing path to the honeymooner suite... (I din stay there)


the path leads to this beautiful place...


view from garden of honeymooner suite!


honeymooner suite...immediately feel so romantic, having a house with such greenery...


Casaurinas - natural, not planted, line the sandy beach...


every angle is scenic - spot the tiny man and son - the only people i've spotted at the beach during my days there


more casaurina trees...


i just love the ocean spray...


Slow, lapping waves swishing...


Endless stretch of sand and sky... and you're the only one on the beach

Ok, back to reality.

enveloped

Today,
I was in the bookstore, getting my hands on a Nicholas Sparks’ read for the weekend (I bought ‘Message in a Bottle’) when suddenly, I felt like writing you a letter.

I remembered my last letter to you.
And the last, last letter.

Both were never received because they were never sent.

The last, last – was written on pink paper with sakura prints. And sealed in a sakura-printed envelope. I carried it around in my bag for days, although I knew that it wasn’t possible we would meet, then.

Eventually, pink letter ended up on my table as a coaster of sorts.

Because I couldn’t bear to throw it away.
Because carrying it around everyday reminded me of you.

Even if you had wanted to read it, the water marks left by daily drinking cups sitting on it had already rendered it unreadable. But I still remember vaguely what I wrote.

I think I was scolding you.

The last letter, was written on Korean designed paper which came in a tiny size. I used two tiny papers and one envelope. I sneaked the paper out of my sister’s drawer (Sorry!) because I just wanted to write you, then.

I think what I wrote was cheery, and trite. Partly because I wanted you to be happy – I want everyone to be happy – and not worry about me. I know you did.

Something that was blithe but also quite insincere.

I carried around that letter in my white small bag, you know, the one I bought from Bangkok in June. I put it in that bag because we were supposed to meet that day.

But we didn’t meet and the letter is still in that bag.
I’m not going to write anymore letters to you – those words that came from and left my heart but got lost along the way.

I wanted to write a letter to you today, but I didn’t know what to write.

I think,
It’s better that I stop.

frustrated

Every moment spent with you, is a moment I treasure...


Frustrated wabbit.

Ches is back. Not here, but in his hometown. We talked briefly, on msn.


Kie is back. And I'm meeting him tomorrow. Sweet!


Zero is...? I don't know whether he's back or not. He doesn't seem to be responding and I don't know the reason. I don't know what I should do, or think, or feel, so...
being overtired, I just want to remember the nice times, and wish that we could have them again, so... I try to be cheerful and have a take it easy kinda mentality.

Although sometimes I wish that when I call him he is not in the jungle. Hearing his voice soothes my jangled nerves somehow. (Having massage works too!)

This week, I've met people who are both... cool, and uncool.
Because I'm overtired and frustrated, I think my response to both the positive and the negative influence of people... affects me deeply.

I met Grapefruit the other day from Cat's introduction. Honestly I didn't really have a positive impression at first - was tired, cold, wet and hungry so I wasn't in the best of moods - but after, he showed that he was a really cool chap by arranging me a hosting gig (yay! catch me at the book fair *fingers crossed) and introducing me to people my company can partner with. So now we are partnering with this education organization which is a really, really big deal for us... and hopefully I can shoot, produce, host and script this entire thing as well. Today we met, and I can tell he's a really nice person - although he may come across as overbearing, he is a kindly, helpful, open and cheerful person who is really sweet too. I think I will enjoy working with him. It's people like this that are really great, not just helping you in your biz, but on a personal level, as well. I can't tell for sure whether we will have a long partnership, but I know that his advice is not only solid, it comes with the genuine intention to help.

Another guy, Breadfruit, left me with a baddddd aftertaste. We are working together on some projects. He is not as bad as KillerWhale, but... I felt so frustrated after communicating with him. As we are friends and I like his design, I have the privilege to decide to 'use his services' (for lack of better term) for one confirmed project which he is paid $xxx, already confirmed with The Boss, with myself and him. So okay. Previously as a friend we also wanted to collaborate with each other on another project which, he is doing like goodwill for me,as a friend. But suddenly, he said: 'let us establish the fee first.' I was baffled. I said, 'Didn't we agree (this was about 3 months ago we agreed and confirmed) that this one is no fee?' He had the cheek to quote me that X company's market rate is $xxxx for a similar genre project. And followed by saying for the current project, he felt that he is 'underpaid'.

I was so upset because, he is so NOT COOL - firstly we are paying above the market rate...for this, and if he views this not as a friendship but some biz transaction, then in the first place, don't agree with the price/no fee if you are NOT OKAY with it right! And then complain later. I've already axed some people who 'cannot make it' -he 'can make it' - but with such an attitude, it's hard for me to continue. Plus, I was the one who got him this project so instead of being grateful - I don't expect that - he still tells me he is paid below the market rate? @#$%#@!

So, I checked with 'independent sources' and yes, they do pay $xxx BUT it's for like possibly up to 3 days of work whereas the current one he's doing? 5 hours. And that one, is professional level one... Sigh.

I felt that maybe he is using my ignorance and kindness and trust and love to rip The Boss off (since the moolah comes from Boss right)... All I can say is that, even if he is hard up for the dough he could have at least approached/discussed in a better way. So this whole thing leaves me with a bad aftertaste. I am tensed now even thinking about it. My Boss always says if it's too difficult, leave it for now and concentrate on other things. That's good advice aye?

named

2 carrats?


Religious or angelic names are no longer restricted to Old or New Testament Biblical names these days. Instead, new creations like Nevaeh (Heaven spelled backwards) has zipped up to #31 on the Social Security Administration's list of popular names. Also flying high: Heaven, Grace, Faith, Trinity, Genesis, Miracle, and Messiah. -'Top Baby Names Trend of 2008'; http://lifestyle.msn.com/your-life/articleab.aspx?cp-documentid=11257635&page=3

I've always wanted to name my daughter (if I have one) - Trinity, now I think I have to think of another name. Having a common name myself, I've always wanted unique but not weird names for my future potential offspring. For male kids, I'd name them after nice friends' names - Derrick, Todd, Frank, Christopher, Edvarcl, Gifford, Chester (Wah, actually my friends have unique names) or ex-lovers - JunJie, Lawrence, Louie, Ridwan, Ivan, Joseph, Mark, Colin ... LOL! Nooooooo.

Ok so now you know the names in my little book...

My feet, still swollen from the standing/walking for hours. I hope I don't get varicose veins. Went to Kenko's for a foot massage, WOW! It was one of the most fantastic massages I went to - no wonder people keep raving about it. Me, too. *raves. It's not like the Thai ones where they press the points with a wooden stick and not like Chinese traditional foot reflex where they try to 'unblock' your meridien points... it's almost like a spa, gently but firmly kneading and pressing away your tension... and the results are instant, instantly felt better for my midnight shoot. Was at supperclub filming models and it was fun! Meanwhile, I can actually see the muscles on my calves and my back firming up, which is good because I need to lose about 2 kg of fat which is wobbling around. Now I have this problem with tummy fats... It seems to be truly, the hardest to get rid off. Shall wean myself off the late nights prata and chomp chomp supper feasts. Also trying to drink more water because I think it helps with the energy levels and the health levels - I successfully drank 1 litre of Evian, the only mineral water taste I like, in the evening yesterday. Aim to down 2 litres a day!


Bought some more chirashi to add to my collection and to put in my new office. I only collect those with cityscape themes so... so far only have a few. But now I think I will just collect those that makes me happy when I look at it. Like this one - Nights in Rodanthe.



It's just so pretty! I think Japanese design always looks nicer somehow. I also bought the 'Made of Honor' one. Captain Zero asked me to go watch it with him when it's out! So it's 'bought in advance' hee. My editor likes 'Stitch', I got one for him, he was SO HAPPY! And immediately pasted it on the wall.


Nice... didn't buy it though.



So cute, maybe buy for meoworks if say the shop stocks it soon...


Also nice! Very pretty! Will look good as wedding invite... *bookmarks it for the future...


SIDETRACK...
Talking about wedding rings, (no, I'm not planning ahead) I just shot at SK Jewellery - they have good deals! And one of the shop guys gave me a lowdown on their jewellery, especially diamond rings.

The current 8 days issue also mentions about diamond rings...I had to buy it because my favorite Andrea Fonseka was on the cover...

And did you know the Jurong point outlet is a factory outlet of sorts where even their Soo Kee brand goes on sale for 70% off?

Well...

Because I was filming them, I took the diamond opportunity to demand, 'SHOW ME YOUR MOST EXPENSIVE RING' and they did!

Actually not very expensive, about $3K + only...

Looks like a normal solitaire also, I guess I'm not a diamond kinda gal.

So I told the nice sales guy what I liked and what I don't.
Guys, take note if your next girlfriend is as...knowledgeable as me.


The normal, standard engagement ring, presenting the diamond solitaire!

I don't like. Just too common - square ones even WORSE looking. I also don't like the 4 prong... I asked him if there were 3 prongs but he said that the diamond may drop off -_- so only works for small diamonds... Tiffany's one is signature 6 prongs.


This kind...will make any gu-niang go misty-eyed.

I'm sure you are wondering what my fave type is.
Since I'm so...knowledgeable.

Similar to baby names, something unique but not too weird.

Actually I do like:


Heart shaped cut! V rare - difficult to do and not often bought by guys I presume. SK only has one model and it is 3 small diamonds put together instead of the difficult one diamond. I asked if it comes in other colours like, pink diamond? Sales guy said have, only at Larry Jewellery ...

And it costs $30K!

-_0

At that price I think I prefer husband to put the downpayment on the house, hor... I also will be scared to wear it out, must hire bodyguards, or finger guards...

And my fave, fave cut:


It's the marquise cut.

Actually I also didn't know that's the name of it until I described it to the sales guy.

Marquise cut always looks nice, and unique too. Not too flashy like a big round bling. But sleek and lean like me. LOL


In yellow diamond, nice man!


Many marquises


Retro style, with sapphire


Elongated, I like this one too!

Meanwhile, I'm moving office. To a place I've always wanted to live in, since I was young my dream house was a shophouse with black windows and I've got it. Thanks Boss, I give him a bit of credit...

It looks bare now, but I shall buy some rugs and wallcoverings! Ikea has the 2009 catalogue out!

convoluted

It's been crazy days.
I'm glad to be alive, and healthy... protected in God's umbrella despite the financial turmoil - seems to be doing good for my co. Maybe my biz is recession-proof, but I also feel for those who have been hit. Some of my clients are selling their land - something they should hold onto because land prices don't dip, but I guess I understand that they do need the spare funds, or are withdrawing it for a purpose.

I'm so tired - over tired, thanks to the insomnia I've been having lately plus the long hours standing on my feet. The long hours on feet, thanks to lots of jobs that suddenly popped up. I'm filming EVERY weekend - I think I can take a months' leave in Dec/Jan... plus the long hours talking to people? Scoping out places? Trying to make sure everything goes smoothly - *tired laughter. It's hard to smile or make others smile for the camera when all you can think of is... other things, haha. It's hard to sleep when someone/somethings/someone and somethings suddenly pops into your mind as if it has hired a small little elf to shout at you, saying, hey, 'HERE' is what you're supposed to think about. And although you encourage your mind not to think about it, it does exactly the opposite; so without resorting to drastic measures like hypnosis, you just let it wander until you fall into a dreary, gray, empty restless shell of sleep which is rudely awakened all too soon by the relentless pounding of upgrading going on under my staircase landing...

It's hard to remain positive when you're tired.

Worse still, missing someone/something/someone and somethings. (Actually I miss lots of things... my bed, my sleep, my Melaka, my bestfriend, my msbestfriend, my unaching body, my formerly eyebagleseyes...my sanity...)

My trusted secrets-keeper Kie is still away so no one to use as a punching bag, I mean confidante...No, I don't have much secrets, just horrific stories about my purely evil thoughts...

Rant.

On another note my new colleague who sits behind me (we are both facing walls), who also faces extremely stressful projects like meee, is acting kinda cute and cheeky. I think the stress brings out the chirpy cute side of him because he doesn't seem to be so cute...He makes funny sounds when stressed, complains in a one-liner on msn, eats The Boss' cookies; and today, said 'goodnight darling' in french. Hee... amused.

confessed

Everyone has gone mad.

Sugar-Daddy-Wannabe has been bugging me for some time with smses and calls of which I seldom responded, or responded curtly. Today, on the telephone:

SDW: I think I have never confessed this to you, but I really like you.
Me: (not amused) Oh, I don't know what to say.
SDW: I just keep thinking of you and would like to get to know you better.
Me: *grunts sardonically*


Later, he smsed me

'Hope you don't feel more awkward after I told you my feelings!'

... I don't feel awkward, I feel damned sad for his wife.

Zero called too, we talked for a wee bit. =)

cleaned

Two people told me today (Sunday) about waiting for their best one and God also told them about their best one. I shall deem it as a coincidence.

1. Lady friend who's getting married this year. I bumped into her after service and we had time to talk. On the way to the bus stop, she told me to peruse her blog and read about how she waited for the best, knowing that God will give her the best. She felt kinda kanjong but settled it in her heart. Then a few months later she met her husband. That was 2 years ago, when she was the same age as me. I told her to pray for me, since her prayers are so powerful, ha.

2. Guy friend who's now a Creative, told me on msn that he had the same response, he asked God 'WHY?', too, when he found out about his TBO. And... God told him SIX YEARS AGO!!! Plus, God even told HER MOTHER! *fainted* The story's too long and I guess too personal to put it here but...it's just starting now and I'm so excited for him!

I'm somehow thankful that he shared this to me, now. I asked him whether he had asked God who's his TBO (which I did) and he said that he simply asked God to choose for him because he don't know how to choose, and You know the best... *in awe*

Actually I think...
I shall just not think about anything, and continue cleaning my room.

Stupid Zero. I know he's not serious. But since he said that stupid thing, I keep thinking of it, and realize... realize... actually don't know I realize what... that my life somehow seems incomplete without his love songs. Roarr.



I've been in a sort of cleaning and gymming frenzy - now that there's a gym that opened just downstairs, been running on the step-glide machine - for some reason I can't run outdoors but gym is great, and rowing; running and rowing away from my thoughts. Haha! I reorganized my whole wardrobe and wiped every speck of dust off my cupboards today too. Which is very unlike me.

Well if anything good comes out of this, it will be that I will have a clean room and a good body.

considered

A conversation last evening on the telephone.

We were talking about work, and life, when I said 'I miss you', not just missing the silhouette of the person, but the very essence of differentiation that the person brings to your life, the subtle nuances that angles life in a very different way. I miss the way Zero always brings a touch of romance and idealism into my everyday life. I am sentimental too, I just prefer to be a bit more easygoing, an European style... ... but I guess he understood too because he said 'I miss you too'. The conversation took off in another tangent, when...

Zero: (not-seriously) ...Forget about TBO, will you...consider me?
Me: OK.
Me: I need a diamond ring.
Zero: Give me a few years!

o_0

I have to say that I am very touched.


I think I am sending out too many love vibes this week. Better finish my story.

translated

A conversation last evening on the telephone.


We were talking about languages, Germany and postcards when we began conversing in our limited knowledge of the language.
Me: Guten morgen (good morning)
MrCheerful: Guten Nacht (good night)
Me: Ich verste... (Trying to say 'I don't understand : Ich verstehe Nicht)
MrCheerful: Ich liebe dich... (i love you)
Me: I don't understand, Ich verstehe...
MrCheerful: Ich liebe dich, I LOVE YOU, LA!

o_0

It's not everyday that you get shouted this phrase by guys on the telephone. Hee.

I'm trying to write a short story - going to type paragraphs everyday this week and it should be finished by the end of the week. I've had this story idea for ages and I've tried to write a novel out of it but it becomes too melancholy. It's about love but not in the conventional sense - questioning about love when it's in the wrong context and how different people come to terms with it when it is revealed to them in a shocking turn of events. Well, stay tuned if you are interested to read.

On another note will be paid for the first time for my copywriting, next month, am really happy because I've always wanted to write, and get some returns on it. Probably buy myself a little something to commemorate it, hee...

fashion grand prix

confused

What is a godly response?

Lately, I've been wondering if hearing from God is a good thing, or not.
I've mentioned lately that sometimes the most stressful thing can be - not knowing what to do. I've realised through the events of the last few years that the tumultuous early 20s helps us to handle stress better. I'm sure most of my peers hav been through failed relationships, job and industry changes, a switch from working to studying or vice versa, and all these has helped us to grow, so that we can make more mature decisions in our 30s (like not buying china milk powder to poison our infants...haha...couldn't help it.)

As an extrovert, I am affected by external environments and situations not within my control. That is why sometimes I am indecisive, like a lot of other people. But I've decided to listen, to God. Obedience brings blessings, it's been said. I've never said "No", only "why"... ...

I can't say insincere words, so I am not saying anything.
Tell me, what is a godly response? Pray - haven't I prayed enough for the one thing left in my life which have not been answered yet... ... Hope? Or just decide to move on? WTF.

On a more cheerful note... things are looking up on the work front.



I met Elvin Ng last week at the stylo fashion grand prix. This is a still captured from the video footage. He's a nice, sincere and 'what you see is what you get' kinda guy. Nothing flashy nor trying to charm you. He's better looking in real life, and tall too. I enjoyed talking to him, it was a great experience trying out live hosting for the first time - I think I'm quite spontaneous; or rather more spontaneous than scripted so it was fun to ask him questions that just pop out from my head from dunno-where.


This picture cracks me up the whole day, actually I WAS NOT aiming my fist at him. And he was not acting scared, just that it seems that way, haha! I think I was asking him a question and he was thinking about it...


Sitting down and waiting for the show to start. Somehow I always look good from 'high angle shots'. Also look good with flash, it 'blinds' my facial flaws. Face by Anna Sui, Benetint on lips, Lemon yellow dress from Victoria's Secrets, gold wedges from M&S, bag from the Platinum mall in BKK.