Starting early this year

On the topic of love,

Recently I had the pleasure of acquaintance with a lovely couple that seemed just about right for each other. J was a lovely girl, and M reminded me of Kie but none of the goofy-ness. He looked sleepy-eyed and talked slowly with witticisms sure to make you burst belly-laughing. They were close and easygoing in the way that comes with time. During the course of our conversation they both said that they believed in true love. But, after she had gone home and it was just the two of us, he said that, it's just that... she was not his true love.

It's easy to believe in true love when you haven't found it.

Oh yes baby, I'm starting early this year. What? Christmas shopping of course. Now everywhere I go I keep my eyes peeled for great, affordable, unique, beautiful gifts/giftwrap. Went to Expo book sale with Manager and Daiso and got almost 30% done, which I felt were good buys. So far spent about less than $150, including my posh handmade cards. Getting a headstart this year means that I'd be free to not-go shopping and feeling stressed about what to buy. The second round starts later this week on Fri. One more book sale at Expo plus a sports brand sale (Okay, it's Adidas) and... Loreal though I suspect I'd be buying more stuff for myself than anyone else. Still, managed to get nice titles last week, and just swooping off some others this week. I've already addressed and written my first batch of cards to pre-clients, so I'm left with clients, family and friends which, I think I will not be overstressed for time unless I plan to do something over-ambitious. Last year - every year it's always a rushed time for me, I hate squeezing with people at Orchard...

Last year I hand painted all my christmas cards... and made fudge for the first time.

It's going to be minimalist this year with really unhurried, beautiful wrapping for the books and gifts. Actually quite fun to hum around looking for that perfect ribbon and that nice wrapping paper and tissue slowly... I'm enjoying every bit of it.

It's quite sad when some people don't believe in love -in true love, and they say it like they mean it, jadedly, without strong emotion. For those who do, it's the little girl and boy in all of us that hopes for something better in life. Not just a 'power' marriage to better your life for money or biz, but a real, lasting marriage based on such a strong emotion that scientists cannot even define how it works and what triggers it. Many of us dream of a fairytale ending, and for those who do, I hope they find a happy ending where the rainbow ends. We still have what it takes!

The Proven Way to Avoid a "Loveless" Life

I may not provide the answers, just a direction to the Way. keke.

I've been subscribing to many free e-newsletters marketing various products, mainly to read up on the way they word things and how I can better put my tutelage of MY mother tongue into good use. Oh, and I don't usually open my mails (cannot afford spending too much time emailing, busy worker meeee) unless they have really GOOD titles. This one, from a writer of a self-help romance novel, really caught my eye. It says "The Proven Way to Avoid a "Loveless" Life". Wow. Being the skeptic that I am, I really wonder if this proves to be... well, accurate. Over the years I've learnt to distinguish the good eggs from the bad ones, but almost all the time, those gooey eyed gals turn a deaf ear. I have guy friends by the busloads, so I do know my stuff. I've saved one from a near heartbreak by immediately typecasting (and rightly so), her amour-to-be as a jerk type. And not long after, he went off chasing another skirt, and is now attached. I said to her most recently, if he loves you and is sincere he will wait. Well... less than a month is probably a track record for some.

Then, there are those type of girls that are clueless around men. Not telling them flirting is ok, but, being and moving in a feminine way, sometimes coquettish, pandering to the guy's ego, etc... Those girls who have only sisters and never had a best male bud are clueless so often I take it upon myself to educate them. I've seen types that I call "GWLV" - Girls who (easily)lose (their) virginity. Honestly! take it upon yourself not to be near those desperate, lusting creatures... not even sms naughthily with them. It's really dumb, and I'm sure they are worth more than that, but these girls are so easy, even I could easily woo and win them. I can tell for sure which are the GWLV types. Usually desperate with a capital D, they are so thankful any man would want to date them, usually those no-good types with body odour or some other unspeakable factor that would not endear them to the female population at large. These girls practically fling their whole lives at the feet of such slobs and to tell the truth, I don't think much of them either. Is such a worthless guy worth it, I ask. They quickly become an item, and, as if I can predict bad outcomings, quickly tire of each other. It's the guy, who, after having such an ego-boost, usually dumps her because now, he is full of self-confidence and ready to take on the world. The girl gets the short end of the straw because she loses out, loses everything. Once again, I'm not wishing this to happen to anyone but it usually is the case with such types. Also gay relationships. Always see a not-bad-looking one with a goddamn ugly one... turns out the ugly one is like domineering over him. Eventually he becomes "one-kind" too, just that all his super-nice and diplomatic friends are too sweet and understanding to tell him so. Me, I'd just disappear and not wipe up the tears. After all, I've said my piece already.

So, some hard questions from spiritedly's harddrive that you gotta ask yourself. Both parties included.

1. Is he a psychopath?
Some people have no feelings, it's bad if your would be husband turns out that way. The percentage of people being so is increasing rapidly. To find out, observe him - does he have any friends at all? How does he talk about his loved ones, any emotion? Etc...

2. Is he on the rebound?
From personal experience, rebound can be 1 month to 3 years depending on the scary EX. Well, just take the timing with a pinch of salt but don't over obsess over it as most of us tend to do... Having just broke up doesn't mean he's not ready, he's just giving excuses (haha), vice versa as well!

3. Is he ready/Are you ready?
For guys, rule of thumb is I'm ready when she's ready. For girls, rule of thumb is... I'm never 100% ready. So there...

4. Is he suitable for you?
While I've seen unbelievably unsuitable couples together, generally, he must suit you somehow... Don't wanna be long winded on this man.

5. Is it the right timing for both?
One of my friends got attached like the month before he was about to leave for oversea studies. Of course he'll be back, but it's a tough road to take. Many of my oversea good catch guys would rather not the girl be in this position. So they would prefer not to fall in love. Of course you can't control love. But if things get hot and heavy after the 2nd date, you need to keep things in perspective.

6. Does both share same values and beliefs in life?
This is the most important! I believe so... it's the fundamental of any relationship, even friendships. Deep ones.

Thanks~~

Tenacity -not so easy to find nowadays

A general satire about recent things I've been impressed by.

I've been told I'm someone who can read into the future.

Well, maybe not in the psychic sense; but I do believe I am a visionary.

Sometimes I already know how some people's future will turn out. Others, I'm not so sure. There are some people in my life who are destined to a lifetime of labour. I think of them like horses, or cows... just slogging up and down from day to day, tired out, and probably die that way. There's nothing wrong with that, I suppose they are just made like that. Others' future seems not so certain - in other words, they can either make it or break it... depending on what they choose right now to do. I'm amazed by some of my office colleagues - 'loser guys'. Not being mean here but when your income is based on sales, and you spend the whole day - the whole week surfing the net - what does that make you? Honestly, their behaviour gives me entertainment in the office. It's almost as though you can read their mind. One even commented that they should go to a particular church in Expo to network and find prospects!!

And go to the motorshow to talk to people... harebrained schemes. Honestly, I can't see their future in The Company right now.

As Singaporeans sometimes we don't dare to speak up. And those who do, are quickly annihilated. For me, I don't usually have a strong stand on things though I do get irritated easily. When I see things going bad I guess I just take a far off observer's point of view rather than to go and mingle and get my hands dirty. Different strokes for different folks. Sometimes when we do things out of goodwill it is often miscontrued. So, to save the heartbreak and to focus on those who are really teachable I shall just let some things run its course.

I've been inpsired this past week by certain extraordinary people who inspire with their lives. One, a guy my Rich Dad knows. He has been working for a certain airline as an engineer for 20 years and recently retired. The flabbergasting thing is that he is actually colorblind. Severely colorblind...He sees the leaves on the tree as though Singapore is autumn all year round.

So when they had a pass-out examination, he was required to just sort out a bunch of wires. He honestly said, he can't do it. He could only do it if he was told beforehand which color belonged to which... I think this is tenacity in the face of 'disability'. Which makes me scorn the loser guys I see daily, because they are young and incapable.

Another one is my church friend, a lady who works in a voluntary government organization. Not many would choose to work in places like this because of the really meagre pay. Her story is shown on the Yellow Ribbon's True Life Story this week. Carol is about 2 years older than me and long time ago I remember we prayed for each other. She mentioned to me that she was an orphan and I was rather shocked by that, because I don't know any orphans, not in Singapore anyways. Well... her story is aired this week and I heard her speak in the blurb, that her Dad left the family when she was one-year old, and her mother committed suicide when she was 7. Maybe you feel pity for her. She could be someone who just depends on the Government to feed her for the rest of her life, but she has been a youth leader in church for many years now, and her maturity beyond years just speak of the way she also handled difficulties with tenacity. It's already not easy growing up with a family, I cannot imagine being all alone.

Tenacity... I find this really hard to find nowadays.

What's next

There are so many things to worry about yet there are so many to be happy about. I'm funny that way. Maybe I think in advance for the future, perhaps a little resentful that it's not to be in our control and things may slide either way. I am hopeful that life is taking a turn for the better, yet strangely there are always setbacks. Small little notes of doubt that may cause unexplained worry.

It's fun to meet others who are also living the carefree life, people with time for tea and no hurry in between, able to leave their work duties almost anytime. I've been meeting people like that and I think one character trait that is evident in them all shows: that they care for people. A people person usually don't meet up for tea with ulterior motives, or to constantly talk about their latest product. Instead, we meet to learn from each other, to motivate each other, to get some tips - "What is a good brand for skincare? Where is a good place to buy a house?" Stuff like that. Tea time for me is a time to slow down and take charge of the biz I'm doing, the events happening, to plan, to chill and to get to know and learn from others. I'm a big fan of Caltex House, having met most people at the Kaya Toast place or other tea places. With avocado juice in hand, watching the busy executives rush their way by to various appointments. I'm a sucker for treating people with respect. I always do surveys even though I know it's probably some stuff I won't be interested in. But it's through these that you get to meet really nice people too. And I do learn from them lots. It's been said that if you want to do sales you can make a living, but if you provide good service, you'll last a lifetime. I will give that WOW factor to my clients even though it means spending that extra time.

Being very task oriented at work, normally when I come in I just plonk down my stuff and do my self-assigned tasks of the day, not really caring about who and what. I do scorn the ones who just surf the net the entire day, and reading up on topics about sales and whatnot. Honestly, I've been observing some guys in my area who just comes everyday and never making a single call. I'm not one to judge but I do wonder how they get by. And lately they have been getting on my nerves by the noise they make and the disturbances they cause. I remember when I was speaking on the phone to a prospect they were oohing and aahing over a new project launch over my head. I could probably box them there and then but I gave a killer glare and told them to be quiet. It was peaceful for the next hour or so, and then they continued again. I don't understand why they like to waste time doing nothing in the office when every little time is important to me... especially when it seems like each week passes by so fast! Also, I'm blessed beyond grace to have capable mentors who always lead me to greater heights. I realise that I've wasted time in the past and now I want to make the most out of it. Yet I do have the asset of time on my side. I'd never go into my own biz now because I know the odds of making it. Though I do hope to have a venture capitalist by my side and start a retail chain of sorts that works bigtime.

It's important at this juncture to maintain relationships and build new ones. We are shaped by the people we like to meet, and the people around us. I want to make sure of my early retirement in comfort. Honestly I'm pissed when people say, oh, I get good clients because of my good looks or it's so easy. Yeah, try it yourself. I've met so many people without even closing deals, but at least I can say for myself that I did put in effort, I did work hard. Even in relationships, our most important decision of choosing a life partner, it won't work out if we don't work hard at it. It seems nonsense to me to hear people saying that they are tired, they have tried... When all they do is nothing.