Monday, August 30, 2004

retrophilic reminiscences

It's gone...
A part of my childhood memory has disappeared yet again... the closure of Kingston cake shop in Ang Mo Kio central. I felt really depressed today when I walked past the area and realised that it has changed into one of those new-fangled breadtalk-imitation franchises.. well-lighted, expensive themself 'cake history'... bleah! what happened to tradition, to nice uncommercialised bread and buns?

Kingston was around for as far back as I could remember... the standard of their bread was really good, the bread was fresh, tasty, always piping hot, and cheap too... I can still remember my favorites - the peanut bread with heaps of peanuts and sugar inside, the cheese bun that was coated on top with sugar sprinklings and a cheese stick inside... japanese flat bread, and rectangle cream cakes decorated with colored jams in the front display... always fresh, and costs only 80 cents too... this cake shop was sort of like a central attraction in the old Ang Mo Kio central, and now I guess it has to make way for the 'new'... well... I sort of wish things didn't change so fast... because when things change, memories disappear... and somehow, for me, a vital part of my life is gone, too. Change change change.... In my ideal world, there should be certain pockets of places that don't change at all, that remains, as a poignant stance that the past experiences are important...

which is why i like malaysia so much... all those places remind me of how things used to be...

on thursday visited this nostalgic shop with mark, along kampong glam road which i found earlier in the year... i just find myself so at home with all the old things... i want to buy the old cupboards, and the clocks with the 'flippable' numbers on a black background to change the time and date. Rubber green and blue toy soldiers with such detail that I can't find anywhere in Singapore now...haiz. Happy days... now a distant memory, which will soon fade as time changes everything.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

life as we know it

Can't believe I slept for 14 hours.. from sunday after the olympic table tennis match (we are fourth again, but nvm...) yea woke up and then did TAWG... quite surprising that my TAWG lasted one hour, I think I was praying a very long prayer to God. Track's over, and somehow feel slightly stressed at the number of things I have to do this week, it's amazing how things suddenly take over your life and I feel that I don't really have control of it anymore. I have to constantly remind myself that I'm in control of my own destiny. Chester's flying back from 2 and a half months of sailing in the open seas... He must be terribly homesick. Can't imagine what its like to work away from home and not being able to call back... well he should be back in melaka the time i'm writing this. It's so funny, felt exhilarated for him as well.. like I want to puke with excitement. I'm glad that Ches can spend time with his family too... the last few years studying in Singapore, and now 3 years on a ship... it's lyk one third of your lifetime you are away, and he's still 21, like me... ... during my TAWG read a passage that really struck me: 'The human spirit can endure a sick body, but who can bear it if the spirit is crushed?' Hmmm.


Saturday, August 21, 2004

sunset at marina










uncle sam 2!

uncle sam!










shicai's birthday

outing at marina: dinner

outing at marina

to our summit at nacli! hehe...

to our summit at nacli! yea!

a&p conference: the happy bunch!

Sunday, August 15, 2004

so many things to say so little time

Well... I am fast approaching the end of the Alpha Track... It's been a hectic wonderful time learning so much from God and from the people around... Sidney, Meiling, SzeCai, Ivy, Faith, Kim, Mingwei, Mark, Ziyu, Debbie, MiaoFang, Jonathan, Huimei, Sulin, Shirley... I will miss the times together... funny how time really passes and then a tinge of sadness starts to set in as one realises the time left together is all too short... I have so many things to say to different people... thanks to those who have blessed me so much, words of encouragement to those i bully and annoy, prayers for those i have barely even begun to start praying for, and some things left unspoken- just to sit in the silence of SIM with its bamboo trees and pondering on the future: what's to come and how much we have been blessed by each other's presence. The prayerwalks we took, the many chicken cutlet and seabass lunches...the ice kachang and mudpie, the library, the oikos, the basketball games... will i forget these little times of joy years later, or will i know that as long as they are in my heart these memories will remain? I'm not one for sentimentalism, but if i do not look back and remember meaningfully, then these things that i hold dear will lose its significance to me. Cheers, 24th Alpha Track...

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Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Calling and Destiny?

Happy national day to me... Forced myself to stay at home today, been hectic weeks of enjoying myself, filling up my schedule with activities... Decided to talk to myself today and just stay home, watch the parade on tv, do my alpha track assignment. It gets depressive cuz i have a need to talk or to listen to people talk at least. The song 'Say it to me now' by Beth Neilsen Chapman is like a theme song to me today. Being left alone makes me ponder and contemplate on issue that need some insight. It's so strange that how I react really fits into my mbti profile - NT conceptualist... I do have passions, especially for people I care so deeply about, but I do not want to express them, for fear that it might seem frivolous, or perhaps unappreciated. Its painful knowing what i should do, yet i do not do, or what i should not do, yet i do... the disturbing fact is that it's all going round and round in my head, lalalala~ The past week I have had tensional headaches almost every day because of this. Somehow, I value my friends' opinions, however lightheartedly I might brush them aside... ... I am very conscious of the things I do now, as I believe it will have repercussions on the lives of others. The movie I watched with Andy on monday - House of Flying Daggers - has this fundamental question: If you loved someone would you be happy to see that someone happy with another person? I guess for me I have no answer, but my core conviction is that I would not do anything to make another person unhappy for the sake of my own happiness. Kinda stressful, I am in a tangle as sometimes I want to throw all caution to the wind - and just be happy with who i am, what i have and not care about the future or what is going to happen in 3 years time or 5 years time and just live each day, with happy thoughts.

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