I read yesterday a text about Philosophy. Sounds boring and all, but I find myself referring back to it many times from the time I first read it.
Sometimes I get myself into an all-out thinking mode. Unfortunately, it’s often caused by unhappy incidences. I wonder, when I look back at my old photos, whether I am the same person in the photo, a younger, livelier, more cheerful side of me? I don’t think people would describe me as ‘morose’, now, no, perhaps the more positive ‘she has mellowed down’. Maybe my past bubbly and social self was injurious to my emotional needs. But also, maybe I had liked myself better then than now. And it’s hard to say, how life turns out, isn’t it?
I was prompted to think after reading about some instances, about personalities. Like, if after an accident, you become a ‘changed person’, that means you have been altered, then, is the person loving you loving the same person? If you have become a different person, then I don’t think the person has the same love… in that sense, maybe it would be better for the person not to love you/the new you.
I’ve always wondered about people who seem all well-adjusted and a nice friend to others while they are not all that in real life. Somehow seeing too many bad sides of people I have worked with in the past causes me to take a certain caution to new acquaintances. Maybe I’m being unfriendly, but when certain friendships prove injurious to my emotional expense, I’d rather take precautions. So, when everyone is saying how nice so-and-so is, I observe quietly, like a few of my friends. And we notice things about so-and-so that others would have missed, you might call it the ‘dark side’ of the person. I noticed one particular person, he seems to be a influential person, always having a ready smile, kindly, and doing well financially too. But after some skepticism from one of my other friends and me, we began to spot some discrepancies. For instance, said person made some unkindly comments which we believe stem from his insecurities. Maybe the physical manifestation of his fears cause him to come out of the carefully arranged public profile and make such a direct and some would deem, blunt comment. And we have seen him also getting close to people only for certain personal intent. I’ve always believed if you always want people to think that you are nice, you might have some parts that were not that nice. Well, people can say all sorts of things about you, but at least for me I know who would stand up for me and who would believe my side. I have actually felt saddened by people who seem to want to be close friends, always going out for shopping trips, sharing, meals, etc. But after all… you realize they are using you as a fair-weather friend, a ‘filler’in their lives, for they disappear quickly, too. Some come back after a while, claiming their friendship on you and a request to catch up for shopping soon, but this kind of friendship seems superficial to me, and I would not care to share deeply about my thoughts other than that which are found in fashion magazines.
It’s also sad when friendship breaks up because of certain small misunderstandings. It’s quite common in fact. But because of something that happened, it causes an ill-will to be around that friendship and also, it ceases to be the same as before. But I digress. Being wiser as we grow older, we have to think more about things, sometimes even having a notion of what to do before an unexpected situation happens.
So here’s an excerpt from what I read:
‘Go on and argue (in your head)- you will understand more about what you believe. You will begin to understand the subject more deeply. And this helps you to feel comfortable with it. And you might change something or you might not. When we ask ourselves questions, we start to understand ourselves and our lives, and it’s up to us to make changes or not. If the ideas in your head agree, this means you have integrity. What you say and what you do are the same. Everyone respects someone who has integrity!
By thinking and questioning, we can understand more and maybe prevent problems caused by misunderstanding.’