Thursday, October 30, 2008


Every moment spent with you, is a moment I treasure...

Frustrated wabbit.

Ches is back. Not here, but in his hometown. We talked briefly, on msn.

Kie is back. And I'm meeting him tomorrow. Sweet!

Zero is...? I don't know whether he's back or not. He doesn't seem to be responding and I don't know the reason. I don't know what I should do, or think, or feel, so...
being overtired, I just want to remember the nice times, and wish that we could have them again, so... I try to be cheerful and have a take it easy kinda mentality.

Although sometimes I wish that when I call him he is not in the jungle. Hearing his voice soothes my jangled nerves somehow. (Having massage works too!)

This week, I've met people who are both... cool, and uncool.
Because I'm overtired and frustrated, I think my response to both the positive and the negative influence of people... affects me deeply.

I met Grapefruit the other day from Cat's introduction. Honestly I didn't really have a positive impression at first - was tired, cold, wet and hungry so I wasn't in the best of moods - but after, he showed that he was a really cool chap by arranging me a hosting gig (yay! catch me at the book fair *fingers crossed) and introducing me to people my company can partner with. So now we are partnering with this education organization which is a really, really big deal for us... and hopefully I can shoot, produce, host and script this entire thing as well. Today we met, and I can tell he's a really nice person - although he may come across as overbearing, he is a kindly, helpful, open and cheerful person who is really sweet too. I think I will enjoy working with him. It's people like this that are really great, not just helping you in your biz, but on a personal level, as well. I can't tell for sure whether we will have a long partnership, but I know that his advice is not only solid, it comes with the genuine intention to help.

Another guy, Breadfruit, left me with a baddddd aftertaste. We are working together on some projects. He is not as bad as KillerWhale, but... I felt so frustrated after communicating with him. As we are friends and I like his design, I have the privilege to decide to 'use his services' (for lack of better term) for one confirmed project which he is paid $xxx, already confirmed with The Boss, with myself and him. So okay. Previously as a friend we also wanted to collaborate with each other on another project which, he is doing like goodwill for me,as a friend. But suddenly, he said: 'let us establish the fee first.' I was baffled. I said, 'Didn't we agree (this was about 3 months ago we agreed and confirmed) that this one is no fee?' He had the cheek to quote me that X company's market rate is $xxxx for a similar genre project. And followed by saying for the current project, he felt that he is 'underpaid'.

I was so upset because, he is so NOT COOL - firstly we are paying above the market rate...for this, and if he views this not as a friendship but some biz transaction, then in the first place, don't agree with the price/no fee if you are NOT OKAY with it right! And then complain later. I've already axed some people who 'cannot make it' -he 'can make it' - but with such an attitude, it's hard for me to continue. Plus, I was the one who got him this project so instead of being grateful - I don't expect that - he still tells me he is paid below the market rate? @#$%#@!

So, I checked with 'independent sources' and yes, they do pay $xxx BUT it's for like possibly up to 3 days of work whereas the current one he's doing? 5 hours. And that one, is professional level one... Sigh.

I felt that maybe he is using my ignorance and kindness and trust and love to rip The Boss off (since the moolah comes from Boss right)... All I can say is that, even if he is hard up for the dough he could have at least approached/discussed in a better way. So this whole thing leaves me with a bad aftertaste. I am tensed now even thinking about it. My Boss always says if it's too difficult, leave it for now and concentrate on other things. That's good advice aye?

Saturday, October 25, 2008


2 carrats?

Religious or angelic names are no longer restricted to Old or New Testament Biblical names these days. Instead, new creations like Nevaeh (Heaven spelled backwards) has zipped up to #31 on the Social Security Administration's list of popular names. Also flying high: Heaven, Grace, Faith, Trinity, Genesis, Miracle, and Messiah. -'Top Baby Names Trend of 2008';

I've always wanted to name my daughter (if I have one) - Trinity, now I think I have to think of another name. Having a common name myself, I've always wanted unique but not weird names for my future potential offspring. For male kids, I'd name them after nice friends' names - Derrick, Todd, Frank, Christopher, Edvarcl, Gifford, Chester (Wah, actually my friends have unique names) or ex-lovers - JunJie, Lawrence, Louie, Ridwan, Ivan, Joseph, Mark, Colin ... LOL! Nooooooo.

Ok so now you know the names in my little book...

My feet, still swollen from the standing/walking for hours. I hope I don't get varicose veins. Went to Kenko's for a foot massage, WOW! It was one of the most fantastic massages I went to - no wonder people keep raving about it. Me, too. *raves. It's not like the Thai ones where they press the points with a wooden stick and not like Chinese traditional foot reflex where they try to 'unblock' your meridien points... it's almost like a spa, gently but firmly kneading and pressing away your tension... and the results are instant, instantly felt better for my midnight shoot. Was at supperclub filming models and it was fun! Meanwhile, I can actually see the muscles on my calves and my back firming up, which is good because I need to lose about 2 kg of fat which is wobbling around. Now I have this problem with tummy fats... It seems to be truly, the hardest to get rid off. Shall wean myself off the late nights prata and chomp chomp supper feasts. Also trying to drink more water because I think it helps with the energy levels and the health levels - I successfully drank 1 litre of Evian, the only mineral water taste I like, in the evening yesterday. Aim to down 2 litres a day!

Bought some more chirashi to add to my collection and to put in my new office. I only collect those with cityscape themes so... so far only have a few. But now I think I will just collect those that makes me happy when I look at it. Like this one - Nights in Rodanthe.

It's just so pretty! I think Japanese design always looks nicer somehow. I also bought the 'Made of Honor' one. Captain Zero asked me to go watch it with him when it's out! So it's 'bought in advance' hee. My editor likes 'Stitch', I got one for him, he was SO HAPPY! And immediately pasted it on the wall.

Nice... didn't buy it though.

So cute, maybe buy for meoworks if say the shop stocks it soon...

Also nice! Very pretty! Will look good as wedding invite... *bookmarks it for the future...


Talking about wedding rings, (no, I'm not planning ahead) I just shot at SK Jewellery - they have good deals! And one of the shop guys gave me a lowdown on their jewellery, especially diamond rings.

The current 8 days issue also mentions about diamond rings...I had to buy it because my favorite Andrea Fonseka was on the cover...

And did you know the Jurong point outlet is a factory outlet of sorts where even their Soo Kee brand goes on sale for 70% off?


Because I was filming them, I took the diamond opportunity to demand, 'SHOW ME YOUR MOST EXPENSIVE RING' and they did!

Actually not very expensive, about $3K + only...

Looks like a normal solitaire also, I guess I'm not a diamond kinda gal.

So I told the nice sales guy what I liked and what I don't.
Guys, take note if your next girlfriend is as...knowledgeable as me.

The normal, standard engagement ring, presenting the diamond solitaire!

I don't like. Just too common - square ones even WORSE looking. I also don't like the 4 prong... I asked him if there were 3 prongs but he said that the diamond may drop off -_- so only works for small diamonds... Tiffany's one is signature 6 prongs.

This kind...will make any gu-niang go misty-eyed.

I'm sure you are wondering what my fave type is.
Since I'm so...knowledgeable.

Similar to baby names, something unique but not too weird.

Actually I do like:

Heart shaped cut! V rare - difficult to do and not often bought by guys I presume. SK only has one model and it is 3 small diamonds put together instead of the difficult one diamond. I asked if it comes in other colours like, pink diamond? Sales guy said have, only at Larry Jewellery ...

And it costs $30K!


At that price I think I prefer husband to put the downpayment on the house, hor... I also will be scared to wear it out, must hire bodyguards, or finger guards...

And my fave, fave cut:

It's the marquise cut.

Actually I also didn't know that's the name of it until I described it to the sales guy.

Marquise cut always looks nice, and unique too. Not too flashy like a big round bling. But sleek and lean like me. LOL

In yellow diamond, nice man!

Many marquises

Retro style, with sapphire

Elongated, I like this one too!

Meanwhile, I'm moving office. To a place I've always wanted to live in, since I was young my dream house was a shophouse with black windows and I've got it. Thanks Boss, I give him a bit of credit...

It looks bare now, but I shall buy some rugs and wallcoverings! Ikea has the 2009 catalogue out!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008


It's been crazy days.
I'm glad to be alive, and healthy... protected in God's umbrella despite the financial turmoil - seems to be doing good for my co. Maybe my biz is recession-proof, but I also feel for those who have been hit. Some of my clients are selling their land - something they should hold onto because land prices don't dip, but I guess I understand that they do need the spare funds, or are withdrawing it for a purpose.

I'm so tired - over tired, thanks to the insomnia I've been having lately plus the long hours standing on my feet. The long hours on feet, thanks to lots of jobs that suddenly popped up. I'm filming EVERY weekend - I think I can take a months' leave in Dec/Jan... plus the long hours talking to people? Scoping out places? Trying to make sure everything goes smoothly - *tired laughter. It's hard to smile or make others smile for the camera when all you can think of is... other things, haha. It's hard to sleep when someone/somethings/someone and somethings suddenly pops into your mind as if it has hired a small little elf to shout at you, saying, hey, 'HERE' is what you're supposed to think about. And although you encourage your mind not to think about it, it does exactly the opposite; so without resorting to drastic measures like hypnosis, you just let it wander until you fall into a dreary, gray, empty restless shell of sleep which is rudely awakened all too soon by the relentless pounding of upgrading going on under my staircase landing...

It's hard to remain positive when you're tired.

Worse still, missing someone/something/someone and somethings. (Actually I miss lots of things... my bed, my sleep, my Melaka, my bestfriend, my msbestfriend, my unaching body, my formerly sanity...)

My trusted secrets-keeper Kie is still away so no one to use as a punching bag, I mean confidante...No, I don't have much secrets, just horrific stories about my purely evil thoughts...


On another note my new colleague who sits behind me (we are both facing walls), who also faces extremely stressful projects like meee, is acting kinda cute and cheeky. I think the stress brings out the chirpy cute side of him because he doesn't seem to be so cute...He makes funny sounds when stressed, complains in a one-liner on msn, eats The Boss' cookies; and today, said 'goodnight darling' in french. Hee... amused.

Monday, October 13, 2008


Everyone has gone mad.

Sugar-Daddy-Wannabe has been bugging me for some time with smses and calls of which I seldom responded, or responded curtly. Today, on the telephone:

SDW: I think I have never confessed this to you, but I really like you.
Me: (not amused) Oh, I don't know what to say.
SDW: I just keep thinking of you and would like to get to know you better.
Me: *grunts sardonically*

Later, he smsed me

'Hope you don't feel more awkward after I told you my feelings!'

... I don't feel awkward, I feel damned sad for his wife.

Zero called too, we talked for a wee bit. =)


Two people told me today (Sunday) about waiting for their best one and God also told them about their best one. I shall deem it as a coincidence.

1. Lady friend who's getting married this year. I bumped into her after service and we had time to talk. On the way to the bus stop, she told me to peruse her blog and read about how she waited for the best, knowing that God will give her the best. She felt kinda kanjong but settled it in her heart. Then a few months later she met her husband. That was 2 years ago, when she was the same age as me. I told her to pray for me, since her prayers are so powerful, ha.

2. Guy friend who's now a Creative, told me on msn that he had the same response, he asked God 'WHY?', too, when he found out about his TBO. And... God told him SIX YEARS AGO!!! Plus, God even told HER MOTHER! *fainted* The story's too long and I guess too personal to put it here's just starting now and I'm so excited for him!

I'm somehow thankful that he shared this to me, now. I asked him whether he had asked God who's his TBO (which I did) and he said that he simply asked God to choose for him because he don't know how to choose, and You know the best... *in awe*

Actually I think...
I shall just not think about anything, and continue cleaning my room.

Stupid Zero. I know he's not serious. But since he said that stupid thing, I keep thinking of it, and realize... realize... actually don't know I realize what... that my life somehow seems incomplete without his love songs. Roarr.

I've been in a sort of cleaning and gymming frenzy - now that there's a gym that opened just downstairs, been running on the step-glide machine - for some reason I can't run outdoors but gym is great, and rowing; running and rowing away from my thoughts. Haha! I reorganized my whole wardrobe and wiped every speck of dust off my cupboards today too. Which is very unlike me.

Well if anything good comes out of this, it will be that I will have a clean room and a good body.

Saturday, October 11, 2008


A conversation last evening on the telephone.

We were talking about work, and life, when I said 'I miss you', not just missing the silhouette of the person, but the very essence of differentiation that the person brings to your life, the subtle nuances that angles life in a very different way. I miss the way Zero always brings a touch of romance and idealism into my everyday life. I am sentimental too, I just prefer to be a bit more easygoing, an European style... ... but I guess he understood too because he said 'I miss you too'. The conversation took off in another tangent, when...

Zero: (not-seriously) ...Forget about TBO, will you...consider me?
Me: OK.
Me: I need a diamond ring.
Zero: Give me a few years!


I have to say that I am very touched.

I think I am sending out too many love vibes this week. Better finish my story.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008


A conversation last evening on the telephone.

We were talking about languages, Germany and postcards when we began conversing in our limited knowledge of the language.
Me: Guten morgen (good morning)
MrCheerful: Guten Nacht (good night)
Me: Ich verste... (Trying to say 'I don't understand : Ich verstehe Nicht)
MrCheerful: Ich liebe dich... (i love you)
Me: I don't understand, Ich verstehe...
MrCheerful: Ich liebe dich, I LOVE YOU, LA!


It's not everyday that you get shouted this phrase by guys on the telephone. Hee.

I'm trying to write a short story - going to type paragraphs everyday this week and it should be finished by the end of the week. I've had this story idea for ages and I've tried to write a novel out of it but it becomes too melancholy. It's about love but not in the conventional sense - questioning about love when it's in the wrong context and how different people come to terms with it when it is revealed to them in a shocking turn of events. Well, stay tuned if you are interested to read.

On another note will be paid for the first time for my copywriting, next month, am really happy because I've always wanted to write, and get some returns on it. Probably buy myself a little something to commemorate it, hee...

Saturday, October 04, 2008

fashion grand prix

Friday, October 03, 2008


What is a godly response?

Lately, I've been wondering if hearing from God is a good thing, or not.
I've mentioned lately that sometimes the most stressful thing can be - not knowing what to do. I've realised through the events of the last few years that the tumultuous early 20s helps us to handle stress better. I'm sure most of my peers hav been through failed relationships, job and industry changes, a switch from working to studying or vice versa, and all these has helped us to grow, so that we can make more mature decisions in our 30s (like not buying china milk powder to poison our infants...haha...couldn't help it.)

As an extrovert, I am affected by external environments and situations not within my control. That is why sometimes I am indecisive, like a lot of other people. But I've decided to listen, to God. Obedience brings blessings, it's been said. I've never said "No", only "why"... ...

I can't say insincere words, so I am not saying anything.
Tell me, what is a godly response? Pray - haven't I prayed enough for the one thing left in my life which have not been answered yet... ... Hope? Or just decide to move on? WTF.

On a more cheerful note... things are looking up on the work front.

I met Elvin Ng last week at the stylo fashion grand prix. This is a still captured from the video footage. He's a nice, sincere and 'what you see is what you get' kinda guy. Nothing flashy nor trying to charm you. He's better looking in real life, and tall too. I enjoyed talking to him, it was a great experience trying out live hosting for the first time - I think I'm quite spontaneous; or rather more spontaneous than scripted so it was fun to ask him questions that just pop out from my head from dunno-where.

This picture cracks me up the whole day, actually I WAS NOT aiming my fist at him. And he was not acting scared, just that it seems that way, haha! I think I was asking him a question and he was thinking about it...

Sitting down and waiting for the show to start. Somehow I always look good from 'high angle shots'. Also look good with flash, it 'blinds' my facial flaws. Face by Anna Sui, Benetint on lips, Lemon yellow dress from Victoria's Secrets, gold wedges from M&S, bag from the Platinum mall in BKK.