Tuesday, February 26, 2008

thinker at work

Interesting photos to think about for more than 5 seconds.

Well. Had quite an interesting day today. 4 meetings. All interesting. Caught up with Rich Dad for the last one, a UK guy with really nice pale blue eyes, and a stunning Texan videographer, and a government association. All in my network. It's actually quite easy for me to call people up and they want to meet me, and it's so easy to get those meetings with them. I call it the favor of God because I honestly have no skill in calling. I'm still not used to being seated at the computer at The New Office, so when I can, I arrange for meetings. Which means my 'paperwork' gets pushed back. The stickynotes app is filled up with things I can't remember wanting to get done, and I have a passport photo of the Texan videographer because I told him I wanted a profile of him (in case I forget about him.)

And I'm typing reports and designing stuff and loving every minute of it.
It's the kind of career I've always wanted just that there isn't a way of getting it unless you know the right people.

And knowing the right God is imperative.

I've realised that I can 'size people up' pretty quickly now that I meet so darn many people in my career.

Not that I do it intentionally.

It's just the thinker, analytical part of me which kicks in and just goes to myself, 'hmmm, he is really a smart person'... or 'hmmm, they really like us...' And being a thinker has its plus points in work, although not dominant thinkers. I was chatting with Dad last night and we agreed that #1: choleric types/dominant people who just like to boss others around, even ministry-wise, have few friends, and their lives are quite sad... presumabably because they have few people who really love them and can tolerate them. #2: In today's knowledge based economy, people are not really hired for their skills (At least for me, I know I can train people to be as good if not better than me) and so, soft skills is just as important if not more, than the ability to get work done. Few would agree but I guess this is the way work works now, and it has worked well for me. I can be quite dominant with my self, at work, to myself, but to others I'm really soft, chatty, easygoing (at least I hope so.)

Thinkers at work also benefit because we don't feel too much, like this is not our cup of tea and thus find it easier to get over the psychological barrier that feelers have, we just do it. There are things I'd prefer to delegate all the time, but I guess the masochistic side of me wants to experience life in its totality, so I challenge myself to meet people I'm not familiar with though I'd rather not, call strangers and chat and try to sell something, though I don't like sales, I just do it. And it turns out not to be a bad thing after all. Because life is meant to be lived in living color and no matter what, I feel that we should be open to new opportunities and challenges daily. That's how we grow, that's how we become better managers, wiser parents, more understanding lovers, and share what we learn with the people we meet along the way.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

someone(s) worth investing in

Had a meetup with Jelly yesterday for dinner. Jelly is your typical engineering guy who wears polo tees, specs... except he has nice muscles from all the canoeing, and is really a sweet guy inside if you can see past the 'woodblockness'. He's in my tag team too so I'm kinda glad he initiated the meetup... as we had gone through some horrid things last year, it was a sort of solace to find someone also struggling to come to terms with reality and the gamut of emotions one runs through while trying to live, love and serve God all at one go.

I identified with what he said, "I never imagined it would turn out this way", and while for me things are different, he still has hope that the friendship that turned sour would one day be put right again, that all he wants is to have a happy friendship with the person. I guess meeting with Chestnut and Jelly, reminds me of the kind of people I want to keep close by. I've learnt to be more selective in the choice of my friends, and who I share my secrets, my heart to: friends that are worth investing in. Some people that you can trust for a lifetime and you look forward to each time you can see them. If all goes well I'd be visiting Chestnut next month, and I'm going to bring him a supply of his fave chocs (after eights); one thing about Melaka is that they don't have many nice chocs, or they are all incredibly expensive, Sarawak too... chocs are the one thing we have in plenty...

Read something over the past few days that made me ponder for a while. It's about the term we always use, or see in the biz world, "win-win". Though I do use it often, I never knew where it originated or the other terms besides "win-lose".

Actually this term can be applied in every relationship, and it's interesting how people who are scripted in the 'win-lose' dichotomy don't really win, in the long run. Sometimes I admit, I am guilty of that, too. I need to win at work... in friendships and relationships, especially in cell-ministry, I guess I am more win-win, always bearing in mind that members' feelings are to be respected and also to keep them in the loop and sharing openly, I felt that sharing openly gains you more respect as a person than those kind of testimonies that I find quite insincere and uninspiring... well, some people do treat every friendship with a win-lose mentality, which is quite sad or scary, the way you look at it. End of the day, you don't really win anything. There is also 'lose-win', whereby the mr nice guy always finishes last, being nice to everyone, means you lose, and you will feel cheated or other negative emotions as well. There is lose-lose, which I feel is quite revengeful, like if you can't have it, you destroy it, and no one can have it... and also there is 'no deal' which often happens in negotiations which needs either a win-win or no deal.

I've been thinking of this in terms of work, upper management styles, and even how we communicate and put across our needs... this matters because often we always think of our self-interest and convenience first, and only after we give it much thought then do we become more win-win.

Jelly was mentioning that his criteria for a girl that he would fancy is totally unrealistic and almost impossible. Once, when I was young like him, I also had such criteria. Basically, tall dark handsome rich christian godly blah blah... although I did have some luck in 'catching' these prospects, ultimately it's the one who will make your heart flutter + God's anointed best that is the right one, and often he won't be tall dark handsome rich...yadda yadda. So what do you do? You slowly accept and come to terms with it.

Because God also wants a win-win.

Friday, February 22, 2008


The MakeUp Store's new spring collection.
I also want to get married, but not to such a good(pretty)looking fellow.

Been busy but enjoying every moment of it. I shall write about my work another time, but realised that I really have favor with people who want to teach me things all the time, themselves being really successful and motivational and passionate about their craft. And also glad that my current work allows me to keep in touch with Rich Dad. The current boss is the best, I couldn't ask for more. I just hope that I will be productive and really show my worth.

Also been keeping myself occupied with a bit of designing, (animoto is so userfriendly!) video-watching and producing...New field for me but with my background, hope to do a good job.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

wedding video

my first attempt...

Tuesday, February 19, 2008


Beijing's T3 opened in February. T3 is reported as the largest and most advanced airport terminal in China and will have an initial capacity of 35 million annual passengers.

Had a meaningful conversation last night at the park and it occurred to me and my chat buddy that many people are just 'trying to be nice', but, perhaps because of trying too hard, the level of friendship that we have been on just never gets past THAT level.

Or maybe, all of us choose who we want to be nice to, and who we want to be friends with. I'm disgusted with the way sg society operates on in almost every level, that people who speak their own mind and actually have opinions and good ideas are often not as well-favored by those who seem to be 'mr friendly' and don't stir the water's edge. It's okay if you are naturally smiley and friendly like Kie, but for those who ain't, faking it is obviously hypocritical and I guess, tiring for the individual as well.

We were also wondering why some of the friendsips with some of the people whom we had known since the beginning of last year did not really take off - it remains status quo from the first hello. Perhaps like a union of souls, it takes two hands to clap. Maybe some people are not PROACTIVE in making lasting friendships. Perhaps they don't really care about us. We were thinking of the reasons why some friendships became close and some did not take off and this thought fascinated me. I do feel close to some in our group, despite not really associating or communicating with them on a daily basis. Others, I have had the chance to interact with more often, but never really felt a 'sense of belonging' with them.

So, I guess, I have no answer. Some friendships that I was hoping to be a good one for me never really materialised, others, appeared suddenly which was wonderful; people like Clone, Zero... I didn't TRY to hook up with them, really! Perhaps we share similar experiences or same outlook on life.

There's a part of us that connects to different ones in different ways.

Saturday, February 16, 2008


If you just realized what I just realized
Then we'd be perfect for each other
And we'll never find another
Just realized what I just realized
We'd never have to wonder if
We missed out on each other now. -Colbie Caillat.

Been listening to Colbie Caillat on Jango.com, a social networking radio website where you can listen to other people's fave artists. Basically almost every song is there from the 70s onwards. Dad is addicted to the site.


As I grow older, I begin to look forward and really cherish the friends that I want to spend time with. It's a sad but true thing that some of our friends don't have time for us anymore. Inevitably, that's a part of growing up. So instead of otherwise spending my friday evening, I chose to spend it with Chestnut. It was the last day of his exams, so we just walked along the Singapore river and talked about life, love and God. I love talking to him because he provides an insight into life I can understand, and he has the faith too, like me. Chestnut's a really smart and handsome chap, and he's one of those lifetime friends, for me. It's funny because he said sheepishly that his mom keeps asking about me, how was I doing and stuff. Am I on the approved list? Like my parents, his mom leaves 'the decision' to him. Well, I'm the only friend that has come to visit him. Hee. I do like the mom. But I don't love the son... =)

He's going back on Monday and I shall visit him, soon. He makes me homesick for Melaka.

Melaka, miss you...

There are some places in the world that calls you, that has a magic about the place that you can't forget about, and you always wish to go there, in your heart. Chestnut's brother is working in KL and he says the angmohs there always prefer Melaka to KL. The inner angmoh in me agrees with them. Though shopping in KL is quite good, as shopping in any major city is, it gets all the same after a while. I'd rather shop in singapore than KL, HK or any other place. For me, Melaka is one of those places that somehow has the power to hold me, (Japan too!) and call me to come back, again, like the way an old flame has the power to make your heart beat faster (not for me though, maybe only for guys?) Perhaps I've meaningful growing-up experiences there that cannot make me forget my Melaka?

Old flame, I'm coming back, soon.

Friday, February 15, 2008

love is a verb

Love-the feeling- is a fruit of love, the verb.

In the great literature of all progressive societies, love is a verb. Reactive people make it a feeling. They're driven by feelings. If our feelings control our actions, it is because we have abdicated our responsibility and empowered them to do so.

Proactive people make love a verb. Love is something you do: the sacrifices you make, the giving of self, like a mother bringing a newborn into the world. If you want to study love, study those who sacrifice for others, even for people who offend or do not love in return. If you are a parent, look at the love you have for the children you sacrificed for. Love is a value that is actualized through loving actions. Proactive people subordinate feelings to values.

Love, the feeling,can be recaptured.

-Stephen R Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

I've always believed that you can choose your feelings and choose who you want to be. Yesterday, I talked to a guy, a stranger on my msn, and he was looking to be attached, in a relationship,because he couldn't take being single, and lonely. I guess that's the wrong reason for me, to be attached and am wary of such men. After all, it's easy to get attached, but it's scary if you are looking to the relationship as your main source of fulfilment.

Even though some people say that Christ fulfils them and they are ok with being single, their actions and reactions spell otherwise for the wise ones who quietly observe. Deep down inside, they are searching for someone to complete them, but the search often backfires, for ultimately, they will either find someone looking for the same thing - which does not bode well for the impending relationship - or they will just appear needy and clingy, which too often drives highly functioning and proactive men - and women, away.

I have some single women friends who, after years of being single for perhaps too long, forgotten how it was like to be cheerful and content by themselves, without a partner. I honestly dread talking to them, for eventually, the question of whether am I seeing someone will arise, and they cannot understand why I am content, for this season of my life, to be single. Of course, it is much easier for me as God has already spoken quite directly. But I'm sure God has spoken to them too - if they pray about it, for I am sure they must have, and waited on the Lord, definitely He will tell them something. But in their waiting time, they become cynical and cannot offer pure joy when they hear about other people's happiness. I cannot judge them, for it is too easy to become like that. Hope deferred truly makes the heart sick. I avoid such talk, because I know that it will poison my mind.

For me it is the other way round, too. Having been attached for most of my dating life, most of the time seeing someone or romantically involved with some guy, I relish, and cherish the single times. I've realised all along that I don't need a man to bore me, oops, I mean, fill up my time with...(guy friends more than make it worthwhile for me) and it's worthless spending time with people who are simply, not worth it. It came to my knowledge that one of my ex-boyfriends, a man of ill-repute whom I had unwisely chosen, was about to meet up with a certain number of my guy friends. I was unhappy about it. If one could argue that Jesus also ate with the tax collectors and the prostitutes,
on the other hand, 'bad company corrupts good morals'. I was telling Grant that the people we associate with are very important, and why would you want to waste time, waste a perfectly good evening meeting someone whom you know can't benefit your life, value-wise, and talk to the person, talk about what? Even if you wanted to 'care and connect' with him, are you strong enough to? I would rather stay at home, even with myself, it's better company. I feel strongly about it because I had wasted too much time associating with him.

I hope that my friends have some moral sense to make good decisions about who they are spending time with. Even though it is only a one-time thing.

I guess sometimes we need to reflect on our thoughts, feelings and actions, and realise that love is a verb. I thank many people who have shown love to me, helping me to realise my future potential.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

love me

Thanks to the 17 people who smsed me, 3 who facebooked me, and 2 who called me to wish me a happy birthday today. I must say I am very touched.

Zero said (on the phone, at home), "I wanted to call and wish you happy birthday THE WHOLE DAY, but my phone was low batt." Awww. He's going through a course (work) the whole month so we are going to be 'apart' for awhile.

My Dad gave me 100 bucks and I'm undecided on where I should spend it. Maybe a small keepsake and then settle some bills and everyday stuff.

So today I took a day off, went suntanning at YCK. Think it was just the right amount of sun today, sunny yet cloudy. So I didn't have to worry too much about being burnt. The good thing about yck pool is that 90% of the suntanners are guys, so you feel special. Sort of alienated, but still special. The other thing is that 90% of the guys there like guys, so you don't get harrassed. A good thing, too.

Spent some time relaxing and re-reading a woman's book about waiting for Mr Right. I anticipate the day my Mr The Best One comes to realise that he has no (better) choice. It's quite fun waiting actually. Not that I've waited long, but I do enjoy my single-ness, the part of life where while waiting, we don't mope and pine, but find Jesus to make us complete, and then, a mate to complement. Too many people go through life wishing for the partner to complete them, but they and all of us should abandon ourselves to God first.

Clone told me in wonderment the other day, that apart from me, and Elisabeth Elliot, she never knew anyone who knew who their lifetime partner was for sure, before they got together and all that stuff. Well, sometimes I do doubt - not that I doubt he's The Best One for my life, I doubt that I would be together with him, that our life's destiny is entwined, that I won't do anything in the meantime to jeopardize it... ... I'm beginning to realise why God told me, the way he told Elisabeth (though I do pray hard my husband will live a long, long life...) because at this juncture, if I make wrong choices, it's going to mess my life up. And the wrong choices are easy to make. Toooo easy. I thank God for all the friends that are quietly - but obviously supporting me, it's hard not to crack up when they 'am chio' (suppressed sheepish smile) when the-intended-person is beside me, or when others try to ask me by a series of nods and eye-twitchings whether there's any progress. (God, blind him to such nonsense...) for the record, I don't feel that I like him, and I'm not going to make myself, or make him like me, or any of such silly things. I believe God will orchestrate something this year, and on my side, I'm preparing myself to recklessly abandon myself to His will. It's so easy to just not pursue an everlasting happiness and settle for something second-best, but the way God affirmed me (a prayer I made last year to confirm and re-confirm the best one IS the best one) "God does not want me to settle for second best. He is calling me to encounter Him so that He can define my life mission." Trinitarian Magazine, P Dominic's message - I wasn't there but through some miraculous work I was led to read this phrase, which freaked me out as I was praying specifically for a church pastor to speak to me firstly about 'the best one', secondly about my calling, and before dec 31st... Read this on 29th, randomly or led by the Spirit, whichever way you'd like to believe.

And not surprisingly, he has lots (too much) support. Everyone of my friends who meets him supports him/us, being 'together', 'together' being such a faint imagination and farfetched realisation on my side that I will start to have the suppressed laughter feel, too. But, yes, teamwork is VERY important to me, in this area too. If no one supported - I would have given up. But along every juncture there were kindred spirits to remind me about TBO. Grant, Kie, Zero, and other wellwishers in church, too many, who said "I support you two being together. Go for it. Tell him. I'm praying with you!" So ya, my 'relationship tag team', thanks for praying and speaking into my future, I'm much obliged. And excited for my/our future!

I'm not Elisabeth Elliot but I firmly believe that IF you wanna hear from God, you will hear from him.

Celebrate love.
Been thinking about this term recently, too. =)

Monday, February 11, 2008

Melaka pilot - TIA


All my guy friends are soooo nice, feel touched when Grasshopper and Studmuffin called me today to wish me a happy birthday (for tomorrow)...and asked me out sheepishly...

Sunday, February 10, 2008

say it isn't so

Say it isn't so (don't give up on me)
Say it isn't so (don't give up on you)
Get me through the night
Make everything all right
Say it isn't so... - Bon Jovi

Have not managed to apologize to Zero and am feeling very, very lousy.
Well, we didn't have a chance to sit down and talk like I envisioned we would because we were constantly surrounded by folks, which was not a bad thing. He brought me to a nice quaint place surrounded by greenery, something I enjoy very much.

I'm upset more at myself because I cannot bring myself to talk about why I am upset. To thinkers, it's not that feelings are insignificant, it's just that they can't or won't talk about it. I find that words flow when I am typing, but face-to-face, I am just at a loss.

I guess this little friction has come to made me realise certain things that are important to me. I do try to understand Zero, and I know that he would never do anything to intentionally cause me distress, and he would probably berate himself if he knew the extent of this lousy, sad feeling I have. I like 'the way it was before'. And I'm afraid that from now on, things will change. I like change, it's inevitable. We all have to grow up, move forward and do things that are in our best interests. And in a way, we chose our friends, the people we wanted to do things with, spend time with, and grow with. Zero's been the only one who could help me effectively in my depressive state (effectively being the operative word here), and it's a beautiful thing if our cross-gender friendship grows and develops in a meaningful and positive way, whereby despite all the studies that prove romantic feelings will develop over time and silly, soppy movies where you know the ending is those sweet and unrealistic sort (which we should NOT watch) tell you that there is no existing script for this beautiful thing to happen, we should not listen to the naysayers or evilwishers and just believe, believe that friends can 'kiss and make up'; in the allegorical sense of the phrase.

I want to connect back. To resolve my issue. But I just can't seem to find the words.

Saturday, February 09, 2008

sometimes when we touch

You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I'm only just beginning to see the real you

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides - Dan Hill.

I like this song. Rather melancholy though.

Kinda upset.
The thing about being me is I usually don't know what I'm upset about till hours later. Meanwhile I just 'clam up' and become kind of protective and brusque.

I guess it's inevitable between opposite-gender friends. Getting the backlash from well-meaning people, relatives, friends... yet being clear about where each other stands in each other's life. I don't want to have any romantic allusions about our friendship, about any of my friendships with guys, and neither does Zero, but the way he puts it at times or reacts to me in a group irks, and upsets me. He's really encouraging one-to-one, and I TRUST him, the way I regard him as a best friend. I felt sad because we weren't able to connect yesterday- in a way we used to, maybe because of over-well meaning relatives on his side teasing him about me - we bumped into different relatives twice in town on separate occasions. Sigh!

Because I was sickly too, I just took it the wrong way and I clammed up for the rest of the evening, not even glancing at him when he said goodbye. I felt bad for doing that too, not on purpose to make him feel bad, it's a gut instinct or a defense mechanism I have. Being oversensitive on my part also does not bode well for the friendship, because no matter how alike we may think we are, there are still differenes that every friendship needs to work out. I was on the verge of tears and called him, wanted to say sorry but couldn't say it. =(

How do you put it across to someone you care about and trust very much that you don't want to be remembered and, 'talked about' by the person, but you just want to live in the moment, to enjoy the happy times and then forget about it, because the past is no longer relevant to my life, only the present and the future, and I don't want to erase some old romantic memories with new ones of me, and I don't want to be seen in that light, I just want to live in the moment. I'm sure things will resolve itself, it's a small thing really - and we are both mature enough to sort out our differences. But I don't know how to tell it the way it is, the way I think would be better for both of us. I don't think I can bear another 'journey into time', talking about past friends and old schoolmates more than 10 years ago - perhaps something meaningful and treasured for him, but something insignificant for me.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

vested interests?

Vested interests?

I've come to realise that often, we find favor in the most unexpected of places. And perhaps it is God's leading (I do believe so) that leads you upon this way to somehow find favor with the people we least expect to.

I think friendships are a very important part of my life, that is why I write about them so often. To me, winning alone is a hollow victory; it's winning together as a team, that results in success for me. Of course, we don't expect to win all the time - it's the teamwork that is the fun and exciting part for me. It's always sad to work alone when you can work with someone else.

Sometimes, people don't realise that. Keeping friends close by, and teamwork. I've learnt a lot about teamwork and humility in Japan, the way they work inspires me. I see work as a leverage to earn income, get ahead in life and learn and understand more about certain complex processes we'd never get to learn in routine life. That is why work is important to me. Of late, it has become more important just because I don't have a ministry priority for this year. So, focus more on work. It turns out that I can, hopefully, manage two full-time jobs concurrently, and I am enjoying it though sometimes headaches plague me. I wonder why - my brain is expanding, perhaps?

I am in a fortunate position, work-wise right now, and it's all due to favor. I'm doing all the things I wanted to do, you could say that all my dreams are coming true. I've always enjoyed about almost everything I do in work, although it is not really that enjoyable, I think perhaps it's a positive mindset that makes the difference. Also, working under magnanimous people gives me the edge to be a better leader and manager in future. Under my angmoh boss, I've learnt to give people the due respect as an individual, not judging them based on their creditbility or their paper qualifications, something that is often done by the rest of the population. I've learnt to take things easy; in a way to have less fear. I am quite fearful at times, especially of making mistakes - I am harsh on myself. But if I am less fearful, it gives me more confidence to make the mistakes I need to make on my journey to success.

And the term 'mirco managing' has managed to make my way into our vocabulary, quite often, about the way some people have managed to upset the fragile eco-balance.

I've come to realise that once you release ungodly feelings (negative emotions) about the certain situation or person, and stop complaining or caring so much about it, the situation just resolves itself. Ok maybe it doesn't, but the way you don't put so much negative energy into it somehow makes the whole thing more positive. There's no point trying to justify the wrongs that other people have done in the name of good interest. And people have told me that the term for it is 'micro managing'. Found this really funny article online:

Back to our subject at hand, if you do insist on micro-managing, you have a problem; if you believe you must check on every detail, your style is symptomatic of insecurity or paranoia. Your style is based on a lack of faith and trust in other people. And, it is repressive. It leads to little growth, it discourages any human resource development, it focuses on problems of detail, and discourages teamwork. Eventually it may bring about the failure of your business.

If you don’t trust your employees or their judgment, and you are unwilling to allow them to assume any responsibility, you are cheating yourself of the talent you are paying for. As much as you may want to, you can’t build a one-person organization that will succeed in the long run.

Micro-managing may work for a while, but in time, it acts as a brake on all progress. http://www.adams-hall.com/micwilstrany.html

Thanks to Blackaby's "spiritual leadership", I've always known that the leader's schedule and decision making is important. By caring for people, whether they are your friends, employees, or cell members, always have a conviction and reason for the things you are doing for them, and the things you decide for them. Why is a leader's decision making so important? It helps to develop your people into better people, therefore reducing your problems and letting them share in it. In a way, it's a vested interest in all parties, the way parents want their children to grow up, make big money and be independent financially and emotionally...

True, sometimes the power we wield over people can make us into different people. For me, I can let myself grow either way. Either be 'haolian' (which is one of my greatest weakness), and be pleased with myself, or I can choose to be humble like the Japanese, always accepting that what I have can be taken away but the position I have now is given by God. We do have to make SOME mistakes, but we have to remember that winning alone only gives us a hollow victory.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

things to be happy for

anti-'caught up in the daily grind'.

I've been plagued by headaches for two weeks now, small ones that just cause your head to ache. Maybe I'm thinking too much or using my brain for once. But it does get me down. Been looking for things that I can find daily to be happy about, because sometimes it does seem that the pressures of life can cause me to be easily despondent. Lack of finances, time and energy/health are the main concerns on my mind right now. I really want to make it a year of new beginnings.

So yesterday -while waiting for the train at AMK station, to a shopping jaunt with Zero - I saw something that delighted my heart. Two squirrels! Being a nature and animal lover, was thrilled to see them. At first just spotted one squirrel, squirreling its way around a small tree in the park facing the train station, and later joined by another, happily jumping in and out of clumps of leaves. I'm glad that I could find joy in such a simple sight. Was looking forward all week to yesterday, as we had a nice plan for the day. Shopping and church, two things I enjoy... =) I had fun selecting Zero's CNY clothes too. I hope that next time my husband will let me do that for me.

I'm glad that Zero got to meet and hang out with my church friends. I realised yesterday midway during the service how much I valued the friendship. I really look forward to his random calls, short ones, for neither of us can talk for very long at work, but it really helps me in my work/life tag team to be more focused and have the strength of heart, knowing that someone is rooting for you, and I have the relentless belief in him too, knowing that God is speaking to his heart and making it a wonderful new year for him.

Having interacted with some people, I find it disheartening that their whole lives seem to be always having the same problems, same issues... When it's so simple, just a firm belief in God's will and ways, and the right attitude will change everything. While I believe I will never be like that one day, I wonder if talking to them helps at all.

I feel much better stepping down and being able to not worry about other people. Can breathe easier, and be more concerned about the issues I face.
I'm glad for the different people who have come to me and cheered my heart.