someone(s) worth investing in

Had a meetup with Jelly yesterday for dinner. Jelly is your typical engineering guy who wears polo tees, specs... except he has nice muscles from all the canoeing, and is really a sweet guy inside if you can see past the 'woodblockness'. He's in my tag team too so I'm kinda glad he initiated the meetup... as we had gone through some horrid things last year, it was a sort of solace to find someone also struggling to come to terms with reality and the gamut of emotions one runs through while trying to live, love and serve God all at one go.

I identified with what he said, "I never imagined it would turn out this way", and while for me things are different, he still has hope that the friendship that turned sour would one day be put right again, that all he wants is to have a happy friendship with the person. I guess meeting with Chestnut and Jelly, reminds me of the kind of people I want to keep close by. I've learnt to be more selective in the choice of my friends, and who I share my secrets, my heart to: friends that are worth investing in. Some people that you can trust for a lifetime and you look forward to each time you can see them. If all goes well I'd be visiting Chestnut next month, and I'm going to bring him a supply of his fave chocs (after eights); one thing about Melaka is that they don't have many nice chocs, or they are all incredibly expensive, Sarawak too... chocs are the one thing we have in plenty...

Read something over the past few days that made me ponder for a while. It's about the term we always use, or see in the biz world, "win-win". Though I do use it often, I never knew where it originated or the other terms besides "win-lose".

Actually this term can be applied in every relationship, and it's interesting how people who are scripted in the 'win-lose' dichotomy don't really win, in the long run. Sometimes I admit, I am guilty of that, too. I need to win at work... in friendships and relationships, especially in cell-ministry, I guess I am more win-win, always bearing in mind that members' feelings are to be respected and also to keep them in the loop and sharing openly, I felt that sharing openly gains you more respect as a person than those kind of testimonies that I find quite insincere and uninspiring... well, some people do treat every friendship with a win-lose mentality, which is quite sad or scary, the way you look at it. End of the day, you don't really win anything. There is also 'lose-win', whereby the mr nice guy always finishes last, being nice to everyone, means you lose, and you will feel cheated or other negative emotions as well. There is lose-lose, which I feel is quite revengeful, like if you can't have it, you destroy it, and no one can have it... and also there is 'no deal' which often happens in negotiations which needs either a win-win or no deal.

I've been thinking of this in terms of work, upper management styles, and even how we communicate and put across our needs... this matters because often we always think of our self-interest and convenience first, and only after we give it much thought then do we become more win-win.

Jelly was mentioning that his criteria for a girl that he would fancy is totally unrealistic and almost impossible. Once, when I was young like him, I also had such criteria. Basically, tall dark handsome rich christian godly blah blah... although I did have some luck in 'catching' these prospects, ultimately it's the one who will make your heart flutter + God's anointed best that is the right one, and often he won't be tall dark handsome rich...yadda yadda. So what do you do? You slowly accept and come to terms with it.

Because God also wants a win-win.