Thursday, August 31, 2006

Shopping and giving

I think I'm scared of being bored.

Been indulging myself in a bit of retail therapy lately... yes, I need the exercise. Well, pleased to report that I have not been spending excessively, though it gives me much pleasure to finally buy the things I want. Oh, and two lovely dresses I've not yet had chance to wear.

Was searching for scented body powder to apply on myself before I go out of the house... though I never had the habit of applying powder, but I just felt that it looked so luxurious, plus I never douse myself with perfume, so I would like that subtle scent veiling me. Analysed Crabtree & Evelyn's but decided they were too costly, went down to Body Shop - they had only one scented powder which I deemed unsuitable, and M&S had nice floral ones... finally, surprise surprise, found a vintagey looking Yardley one "Lily of the Valley" and grabbed that at Mustafa's. Must go there more often, found lovely childhood memories like Complan, plain cornflakes in jumbo sized boxes, Pears' soap, etc. There is even a self-tanner that I'd like to try, someday soon. I have been faithfully applying the Lily of the Valley powder, Darling says it smells like detergent though. Makes the skin softer actually!

And in the last weeks I've been indulging in face masks courtesy of the Face Shop,( really hydrates your skin after a tan) went for a horrid manicure at Hollywood Secrets, don't think I'd ever ever go there again; mmm went to obscure places to shop... but realised all I need is in the vicinity of where I work, so I don't really have to try so hard next time! Saw interesting toys at this shop selling miniatures, and today I bought a bag. Printed with chic anime-like characters ala LeSportsac. Roomy enough to be an overnighter. I really like this bag, made me so happy for the whole of today and perhaps the whole of tomorrow too as I'd be bringing it out! Retail therapy really works for me I think. Oh yes, and I went to City Square and Holiday Inn Plaza. Both Darling and me thought the trip so fruitful (shopping wise) that we decided to make a trip there sometime soon. Got contact lenses at about $12 off the usual price, nice wooden heels I can wear to work (I want to buy 10 pairs, its THAT comfy) a top, nice food, etc. The usual, at cheap deals and some things of course, you can't find locally. Makes me wanna hit bkk and all the other places.

Am really happy that I am able to 'treat' my friends and family... I've always been generous, and amazingly God has always blessed me with more! I won't hesitate to buy Crystal Jade bakery goodies for my family if I can, a whole big bag always finishes within 48 hours in my family. For as long as I can remember I will buy home mooncakes to be savored. I really believe in giving monetarily, especially to those in full-time and students who want to serve God. Perhaps I've been there before that is why I know how it's like. I will never forget the anonymous person who gave $600 during my Alpha Track course, to me as a graduation gift. Though I may not know him, I dearly hope God will reward him lots! It's amazing as I hear of stories like, my father's friend in heavy debt, still able to bless my family with a lovegift. This is truly giving till it hurts, giving from the heart. And my cell folks, they are really willing to give as well! I see members who will not hesitate to treat us to supper, or cover up the balance, simple things like that. Members who volunteer to teach underprivileged kids, members who offer to sponsor mission trips. Members who are drivers who always, always save me and the other gals a lot of money as they always send us back, so much until perhaps we have got used to it and don't assume otherwise. I'm amazed at this spirit of good cheer. Maybe in the real world, these people around me, still have loads of unselfishness leftover. I'm challenged to be like these!

I don't usually treat people - maybe I don't like to spend on food haha! But I do buy small cards, gifts and accessories for my pals. Thought that when I see something nice, they would like to have it too. =) Lately when deals come in, I make it a joyful point to treat those around me, a small drink or a meal with Darling. I've been so blessed by all of their generosity, it's the least I can do! And I feel great doing it!

I hit upon a novel idea of blessing Regis with a love gift as he goes full time for Singapore Youth For Christ this year. I smsed Mr BestFriend, among others, and was thrilled to hear his immediate reply "Yes, count me in! I can spare $XX for this lovegift". Am always grateful for his support. Ah, I do hope the love gift will be 'of value' to the recipient.

I guess it's hard for us to understand what the missionaries in... India need. Maybe what they really need is a bicycle to get around, or some chocolates they are craving after... Well, for Regis, this is something essential for Singaporeans daily. I do hope some close ones contribute as well. Though they do not know him, wouldn't it be simply wonderful to tell him, Hey, my cell members and boyfriend contributed this to you. Though you might not know them, they are concerned about your efforts in the poly ministry and want to help in this small way.

Any amount sure goes a long way in building God's kingdom, let's give n give with joy.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

my pants, bag, camera pouch

Lor Mee at amoy

bird on the road

Sunday, August 27, 2006

CAN - Rick and Dick Hoyt

I can only imagine. - Mercy Me.

This video brought me and I believe, many others to tears as it was shown during last service.

To the tune of Mercy Me's I can only imagine, this shows the father-son team that competes in marathons, trialathons, etc. What's special about this is that the son, Rick, was born with his umbilical cord around his neck, cutting off oxygen from his body and he lost the use of his limbs. Doctors proclaimed him a vegetable but he showed signs of intelligence and a love for sport.

Be touched by his father's love for him and even the remarkable love of Our Father.
This is one video you HAVE to watch.

To read more about them,

All my friends running today in the AHM and Sheares run, run for Jesus... you have been a great inspiration to me as well!

Thursday, August 24, 2006

I eat at this place almost every week

the clown and W kids - invest in land while u r young!

with ky and jtjia

with trixie and kylie

me, fy, raj at W

A very traumatised rabbit

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Dresses - not your usual suspects

Pretty, pretty dresses.

I'm not much of a dressed up person - sure, I do believe in wearing nice clothes and totally look down on those hongkong blouses with little pearls sewn on and cheap looking printing. Is it just me or are clothes getting more and more expensive these days? Plus, I'm someone really hard to please when it comes to buying something I really like and it has to be of a good bargain too. But lately, I'm starting to widen my horizons. Being involved in the fashion industry before, and knowing the cost price of cotton, I would never put down more than a hundred (or more than fifty, even...) for a white cotton dress... I did see one nice one yesterday from BCBG Maz Azria but being factory runoffs the price for it is a bit steep. Still, I would probably consider it someday if I had tonnes of money to spend on dresses. I'm quite fascinated by dresses. Especially now everyone tells me tall people should wear dresses. After I got my retro flower print dress (alas now faded by the wash), I began to hold a high regard for these one piece outfits. Wearing a dress makes me feel oh-so-womanly, they accentuate the little curves I have, and makes the whole day seem like a fairy tale - you know, swishing around in colored chiffon silks really puts one into a good mood. I never liked dresses that much - I guess I'm someone more practical. Give me shorts and a hollister shirt anytime. But after my little splurges on Mr Marc Jacobs and nameless pieces from street stores, I'm hooked. There's nothing like wearing a dress to anywhere, any function... a dress for every occasion! I feel like a princess - or someone riche, when I'm out in my Marcs. Just need to find the right footwear for these dresses - I can never think of the right ones. Sandals? I'm a fan of crocs and havaiianas but the dress would look so dastardly paired with them. Buying a dress is definitely worth your money.. besides I do know where to get the good deals for $100 around, and below, for really nice steals.

Made two nice discoveries last week and this week... shops selling dresses. Everytime I look at a stunning woman in a stunning dress, I always wonder where she shops at, online? Now I know... heh heh heh. Just on the third floor on Aerial Plaza near my workplace there is a small shop selling one pieces of Anna Sui, Diana von Fustenberg, Mr Marc, BCBG, etc etc. Lovely! Not very expensive as well, if you do need a cocktail or bridesmaid dress. Much nicer than if you go to Daniel Yam or those kind of boutiques. I think I will aim to have a dress for everyday... right now I'm keeping my eye out for a light turquoise number which I think will bring out my skin and etc. Had a traispery down this wholesale building where I bought my MiuMiu and Mr Marc, was disappointed as they had no new stuff and some, I suspect, fakes. Although it's still really affordable...Well, went around the building and wanted to leave when I took a turn and spotted a nice shop with nice korean dresses. Cheap, too! Isn't $28 good? So I got one $30 dress in milk color and a $10 knit top I can wear to work. I tried on like most of them and all suited me fine... Think me shall go back soonest. The milk color dress I can wear to Hill's wedding with the lawyer. It definitely looks more than $30 (after discount).

I would recommend girls to wear more dresses now, it really brings out the femininity of us women. Each time I see the lunch crowd around Caltex, I would 'rate' them... mentally... sadly to say, office workers are not dressed well at all. It's always predictable shades of taupe, gray and black - the all time favorite. Rarely do I see a stunning woman.

On the lookout for a red dress, a turquoise one and maybe a retro one for fun. Flea market season's coming up! Hope to get a little return on my investment, hee.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006


I like my life.

Been happily settling into my life, having adjusted to the unscheduled schedules, the extra things I do for pocket money, and just having that bit more to spend really cheers me. I do hope to save up to a substantial amount at the end of the year, and decide whether to put it into investments or just visit Ange in Oz. Maybe both, if everything comes my way. I think the daily grind of life does bore into me a bit, somehow, not struggling, but just tired and sickly now and then. I believe I do need more 'sabbaths' - day of rest. Boy can I sleep and sleep!

Received a letter from a long ago ex boyfriend of mine. No, nothing salacious. I'm quite proud of him actually - spiritually, he seems to be the one doing the best, out of the rest...last I heard. So out of the blue, quite surprised to receive a letter... typed out, stating he has joined full time in this local missions org, needing sponsorship. I guess some might say it's dumb to just join when one's just grad and totally no income, no nothing, only the rewards in heaven. I guess those practical ones would say, hey why not work for a year and save up to go? But well, having gone through much criticism in the decisions I have made for my life, I sort of empathise with him. Not only does he not have monetary support now, maybe the lack of friendly and family support puts him at an all time low. No wonder so many are reluctant to go fulltime. I wonder, if those pastors from big, rich churches (like mine), with a comfy chair, aircon, drawing a sizeable salary that allows them to support a car and condo, if they were told that they would not be receiving any salary, would they still continue on? I do have my doubts. Yes, without money no one can survive in this world. Perhaps this makes our faith weak.

For me I will support as and when I can. =) Our cell's also adopting a family under church's charity arm. This widow just accepted Christ at the age of 70, having one retarded son and another. Sigh... Hope that with our cell's involvement we can make the world a better place for them. All around me, I see people having problems. These major problems like lack of money can turn the world upside down. Not too long ago, I too had some financial woes. Wrong choice of subject to study? Cost-wise, probably! But I never worried to the extent that I wanted to die or wallowed in depression, also the sadness and longing feeling were bad enough. Sometimes I did condemn myself for spending too much, beyond what I can possibly earn, or even splurging on simple things like a drink. Each time the balance on my Ezlink card got too low, I would panic and sometimes prefer to walk home instead of spending another few cents. But all these has taught me not to sweat the small stuff in life. Some friends just have simple desires of being healthy, or just falling in love, getting married and starting a family. Small desires, but for some of them, these seem impossible to fulfil. These are just small stuff - all around us, maybe not in this island but just beyond, people have all but lost hope, became orphans, lost everything they have ever owned in this life. And for us, we just feel disappointed because we cannot afford a luxury item or been disappointed over a trivial matter.

Yes, I do feel like that sometimes when I see others around me seemingly happy having something I don't have. But I've recently been convicted to treat the people around me, and treat them better as well. It's been said that the way you treat others is the way you want to be treated yourself. Well that is true to certain extent. If you are constantly looking out for people's flaws and shortcomings, always pointing them out, you can be sure that your own flaws are visible to everyone around you. Knowing about it is one thing, acting to change is another. Life is preparing you for another eternal journey, why not have this learning curve now when we still can afford? I want to be able to treat people to a meal once in a while, having the finances and joy to. I know that if I help someone, or feed the hungry, clothe the poor, I am doing Jesus a favor. And I do enjoy doing it tremendously!

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Good advice

Because I am in a good mood, I shall dispense some advice for people who are struggling in their work, relationships, self identity, whatever.

1. You will always have problems.
Whose goal in life is to be happy? Well, mine is! But striving for happiness does not mean we do not have problems - in fact choosing to ignore them is worse if you might agree. There are problems in every area of life be it finances, work, study, family, relationships. And once one problem is solved, another one inevitably pops up. What's one to do? Some say focus on the solution , not the problem... But sometimes the solution takes long in coming. Meanwhile, know that life is a learning curve and we do have to improve ourselves. =)

2. Lower your expectations and float in hope.
We are disappointed at times because face it, we put too much pressure and high expectations on ourselves. Living here is definitely stressful and sometimes we have the same demands and expectations of everyone and everything. Why are we making ourselves miserable... come to think of it, we are doing this to ourselves. Can anyone stop complaining for a moment? We complain the bus is too slow, the weather is too warm/cold, our friends are too irritating, our family is not understanding, and so on. Make one day a no complaint day and just smile. Smiling at others is good for your heart! I'm not saying you can be incompetent because incompetent people really should be shot, but just look on the bright side for once - or count your blessings. If the situation is really really hopelessly bad, and if you personally cannot do anything about it, then you can only leave it to God. Stop worrying when you do that, it shows a lack of trusting Him. I've seen many people complain about their jobs. Sure work is stressful and no one likes 100% of everything they do. Even though mine is, I don't complain, because I choose not to. Maybe I feel so blessed that I'm given the opportunity of lifetime to work here. I mean, the 'worst-case' senario is that if you are really unhappy, just quit. You will only lose your job and don't sacrifice other things in life which are more important.

3. Pamper yourselves!
I believe in pampering yourself - with small rewards! It's so relaxing to go for a massage or a manicure after some stressful activities, or just chill out with lots of cake and nice drinks. Retail therapy is also good. Just buying some small toys or trinkets to make yourself happy. Doesn't need to be very expensive. I sometimes treat myself to bubble tea - don't know why but feel luxurious after drinking it! Also, love manicures now that they are sooooo affordable. For guys I think sometimes they too need to take time off, play games, do some fun activities. Life is meant to be enjoyed and at times, we just need to relax and waste time. Put on a face mask, relax at home. I find exfoliating the body really relaxing. Using my own method of homemade spa. It's simple. Just find salt at home, put in some olive oil, half half, plus a few drops of essential oils like lavender to soothe. Can even use camomile. Mix it up and rub it on your skin when you bathe, from the limbs upwards. The salt circulates your body, the oil moisturises and warms up your skin and u will have a good night's rest! I also like to go to this toy shop and buy myself minatures or kitchy items that makes me laugh. Daydream. It helps. When I am on long bus or bike journeys I always think of how I can maximise my money to buy the things I really want to improve myself. Choices are getting hard now - even if you want to buy skin care, you have too too many places to choose from - even muji now has a skincare range. It's so tempting to just give in and get the simplest one or be indecisive. I can spend hours at Watson's looking at the range of products! So constructive daydreaming helps me to plan out what is the best for me. Say, I want to buy a nice dress for a wedding function and I have a certain budget - while daydreaming I will plan out which shops I will go to and on what days, in search for the perfect dress for me! Also, I will search though my mind which kind of cutting is flattering for me, what materials and fabrics I like, and what length. =) It often works out well. Daydreaming helps us to know what we want and not be swayed by the huge array of choices placed in front of us.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

How happy are you?

Aye I already knew that!

How Happy Are You?

Quiz Score: 6 out of 12 You have your ups and downs, but for the most part, you are moderately happy. There’s no burning desire to change your life. You’d probably have an uplifting effect on someone who is less happy than you, but at the same time, you could benefit if you associated with those happier than yourself.

Take this free PhD personality test go to

So I've been day dreaming lately about improving myself, my wardrobe, getting a new look and maybe cutting my hair. Changes in my state of mind? Found really good websites for nice hairstyles - japan, of course... but wondering if it would take too much outta me to maintain plus I've been taking forever to let my hair grow out to want to cut it again. As a young woman, we should pamper ourselves at times! And thus I bought nice face mist - the one you will spray to set your makeup or just to freshen up, keep forgetting to bring it out though... I must say the Face Shop (Bugis) has some really nice stuff and the cleansing cream, highly affordable, works wonders for me. I've tried all kinds from MLM to high end brands like Dermalogica, Khiels', Clarins, Elizabeth Arden, Biotherm and even Watson's brands - some are surprisingly good and some are surprisingly expensive! I think I have a kind of sensitive plus blemish prone skin on my face, although the rest of my body is wonderfully even-toned and no blemishes except for insect bites... well, I've found the solution in this green tea cleansing cream plus using the hydrating mask from cotry. Plus a bit of suntanning.

I love suntanning.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Not so sure anymore

Yesterday was talking to a doctor in my company about the nature-nurture debate. How you are like now is not because of your upbringing, but who you were born to be - your character.

It used to be 50-50. Shaped by environment 50% and the other half is due to genetic factors of which character you inherit. Now, as the doctor mentioned, nature is more of 60% influencing how the person turns out to be.

We don't understand how different another human being is from us despite being brought up 20-years apart. Yet we never even try to understand the differences, just citing it as incompatibilities, idiosyncracies.

I used to be someone who tends to over promise, start new things without ending, and always in the popular crowd. Maybe I can talk well and get along with people easily then. But these things do not matter much to me anymore. Perhaps now my focus is to build up my maturity and influence in certain areas of promise. I do value sincerity - things like keeping your word. When I promise to be there, I will. It's simple. I value time, my time as well as others' time. Doing sales, I am 90% of the time early for appointments. I'm not really an early person, but I don't want to keep the person waiting. So I prefer to wait. I have waited for my boyfriend for hours when he has a class or a service and then I meet him after that. It's alright for me, I don't mind waiting for a short time of joy. No matter how tired, if it has been promised, I will do it. And if I really can't, I will not keep people waiting, and say how sorry I am for the mismanagement. But when I have waited long, I'm appreciative of people who say thanks for waiting, who offer me a lunch or drink as a courteous way of response.

I'm really on the verge of... maybe making up my mind now. I told myself, the last time, I was sobbing at Chinatown. Over a childish insult, about me being unappreciative of Fifi who helped me. It was taken the wrong way. I never meant to be unappreciative or critical. I just voiced out how I felt at that moment. And I started to cry, primarily because I felt a lack of support. Why, my beloved sided with another person and never spoke up for me? Doesn't he understand my main source of frustration was because I was trying to ensure everyone had a place, too? Everytime I cry he says I am being emotionally unstable. I wonder whether it is because he cannot handle it. I've cried in front of Shiner... some people... none of the people who knows me say that way about me. My emotional needs are not met for a long time now... since this incident, and previously there was another one. He just rode off, leaving me sitting on a bench sobbing. I had wished he would come back, turn back and take me home. I was so tired, so weary I couldn't even will my legs to stand up and walk in the bus direction. So I sat there for hours... I walked around chinatown for hours hoping, just hoping he would come back to pick me. But he was sleeping at home and I never expected, to cry and cry on the bus journey back. I've given us a last chance since then. It's not that I cannot take mistakes, but maybe I'm really emotionally unstable so I cannot handle this anymore. When I had bed bug bites all over my arm and feeling really disturbed, he was not there for me. If he was the one, I will accompany him all night long, no matter how tired I might have felt. I can always sleep in the next day.

People have advised me to break up, I guess I know why now.

I'm disappointed, more than anything.

Is it worth even salvaging... he doesn't seem to want to do anything about it. Keeps saying he can't deal with my emotions. Why does men always focus on the problem even though they say they are solution focused? On my side, I don't even want to share with him at times, afraid of the criticism, afraid of the harsh remindings to focus on Jesus. When a man is starving, do you throw him Bible verses and tell Him God is abundant and plentiful? Of course not, you will feed him a meal or a piece of bread. Why am I always being told by him that God will help when in fact, he doesn't even feed me.

Really at a loss of what to do. I'm not asking for advice, yet they seem to come, and come so clearly. Realised who are the ones who really care about me. About my emotions, about my tears.

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Ask me, again.


To say I'm busy would be an understatement. Then again, I'm glad I'm being valued for my knowledge and time. Sometimes I do get disappointed with the results. But I know in the long run, I am building up my 'house'. It's hard at times for women todya to stay positive. What,with all the extra little work we have to do. I know of some of my friends, single ladies who are almost the sole breadwinners for the family. I cannot even imagine myself having to pay for groceries and utilities, it's already so difficult to support myself. That is why I get jaded at times. We need too many little things in Singapore that cost way too much and does not benefit us in the long run.

And I'm boggled up with the way the world works - or rather, 70-80%. I'm glad I'm not like that, but sometimes I wish I can blend in. Sometimes my mind gets the better of me, though I'm increasingly positive despite these cumbersome trials that are upon me right now. After all, I'm not in the very best position for a person around my age and demographic... but then again, I'm not the worst off either. I look forward to little treats, little things in my life that brings me joy, and I do wonder whether that's all there is to that.

I want to create something of significance and in an unprecendented move, I am going to enquire boldly. Ask, and you will receive? Not necessarily. This time, I am wanting to move into a plan, for one of my leaders. I am unhappy that this 'right' has been taken away from me, and I will fight tooth and nail, to ensure nothing happens to him. After all I know my motivation in my heart for the interests of my members and leaders. Some might say, hey why get so worked up, why bother to fight things against your control? Well... at least I know that my conscience is clear, that instead of being selfish and inward focused, I am doing what I can in my limited capabilities. I may fail. We may fail. I have foreseen this as a natural course. In fact looking at the odds right now we may fail, but IF we fail, let's just take it as a learning point for all of us! I really don't want to shield anyone, not even my children next time, from making mistakes. In fact, never failing before, or not making mistakes, what does it speak about yourself? It certainly doesn't mean you are a very wise and mature leader. Everyone makes mistakes. Some are costly, some are dismissable. Take the mistakes as a learning curve... ... But if, just if, we do succeed, then, everyone shares in th victory.

I felt that these simple truths can be applied anywhere from a work environment to ministry to even social and family areas... yet, so few people often get the chance to make this decision. For me, I'm glad I am. If you dare to stand up and speak out in front of a crowd, you will almost definitely be criticized. Expect it.

Haven't been so radical for a while now. I tend to ask 'why' regarding everything I have to do.
That's the part of me that is different.