Answers

I like my life.

Been happily settling into my life, having adjusted to the unscheduled schedules, the extra things I do for pocket money, and just having that bit more to spend really cheers me. I do hope to save up to a substantial amount at the end of the year, and decide whether to put it into investments or just visit Ange in Oz. Maybe both, if everything comes my way. I think the daily grind of life does bore into me a bit, somehow, not struggling, but just tired and sickly now and then. I believe I do need more 'sabbaths' - day of rest. Boy can I sleep and sleep!

Received a letter from a long ago ex boyfriend of mine. No, nothing salacious. I'm quite proud of him actually - spiritually, he seems to be the one doing the best, out of the rest...last I heard. So out of the blue, quite surprised to receive a letter... typed out, stating he has joined full time in this local missions org, needing sponsorship. I guess some might say it's dumb to just join when one's just grad and totally no income, no nothing, only the rewards in heaven. I guess those practical ones would say, hey why not work for a year and save up to go? But well, having gone through much criticism in the decisions I have made for my life, I sort of empathise with him. Not only does he not have monetary support now, maybe the lack of friendly and family support puts him at an all time low. No wonder so many are reluctant to go fulltime. I wonder, if those pastors from big, rich churches (like mine), with a comfy chair, aircon, drawing a sizeable salary that allows them to support a car and condo, if they were told that they would not be receiving any salary, would they still continue on? I do have my doubts. Yes, without money no one can survive in this world. Perhaps this makes our faith weak.

For me I will support as and when I can. =) Our cell's also adopting a family under church's charity arm. This widow just accepted Christ at the age of 70, having one retarded son and another. Sigh... Hope that with our cell's involvement we can make the world a better place for them. All around me, I see people having problems. These major problems like lack of money can turn the world upside down. Not too long ago, I too had some financial woes. Wrong choice of subject to study? Cost-wise, probably! But I never worried to the extent that I wanted to die or wallowed in depression, also the sadness and longing feeling were bad enough. Sometimes I did condemn myself for spending too much, beyond what I can possibly earn, or even splurging on simple things like a drink. Each time the balance on my Ezlink card got too low, I would panic and sometimes prefer to walk home instead of spending another few cents. But all these has taught me not to sweat the small stuff in life. Some friends just have simple desires of being healthy, or just falling in love, getting married and starting a family. Small desires, but for some of them, these seem impossible to fulfil. These are just small stuff - all around us, maybe not in this island but just beyond, people have all but lost hope, became orphans, lost everything they have ever owned in this life. And for us, we just feel disappointed because we cannot afford a luxury item or been disappointed over a trivial matter.

Yes, I do feel like that sometimes when I see others around me seemingly happy having something I don't have. But I've recently been convicted to treat the people around me, and treat them better as well. It's been said that the way you treat others is the way you want to be treated yourself. Well that is true to certain extent. If you are constantly looking out for people's flaws and shortcomings, always pointing them out, you can be sure that your own flaws are visible to everyone around you. Knowing about it is one thing, acting to change is another. Life is preparing you for another eternal journey, why not have this learning curve now when we still can afford? I want to be able to treat people to a meal once in a while, having the finances and joy to. I know that if I help someone, or feed the hungry, clothe the poor, I am doing Jesus a favor. And I do enjoy doing it tremendously!