Ask me, again.

Argh.

To say I'm busy would be an understatement. Then again, I'm glad I'm being valued for my knowledge and time. Sometimes I do get disappointed with the results. But I know in the long run, I am building up my 'house'. It's hard at times for women todya to stay positive. What,with all the extra little work we have to do. I know of some of my friends, single ladies who are almost the sole breadwinners for the family. I cannot even imagine myself having to pay for groceries and utilities, it's already so difficult to support myself. That is why I get jaded at times. We need too many little things in Singapore that cost way too much and does not benefit us in the long run.

And I'm boggled up with the way the world works - or rather, 70-80%. I'm glad I'm not like that, but sometimes I wish I can blend in. Sometimes my mind gets the better of me, though I'm increasingly positive despite these cumbersome trials that are upon me right now. After all, I'm not in the very best position for a person around my age and demographic... but then again, I'm not the worst off either. I look forward to little treats, little things in my life that brings me joy, and I do wonder whether that's all there is to that.

I want to create something of significance and in an unprecendented move, I am going to enquire boldly. Ask, and you will receive? Not necessarily. This time, I am wanting to move into a plan, for one of my leaders. I am unhappy that this 'right' has been taken away from me, and I will fight tooth and nail, to ensure nothing happens to him. After all I know my motivation in my heart for the interests of my members and leaders. Some might say, hey why get so worked up, why bother to fight things against your control? Well... at least I know that my conscience is clear, that instead of being selfish and inward focused, I am doing what I can in my limited capabilities. I may fail. We may fail. I have foreseen this as a natural course. In fact looking at the odds right now we may fail, but IF we fail, let's just take it as a learning point for all of us! I really don't want to shield anyone, not even my children next time, from making mistakes. In fact, never failing before, or not making mistakes, what does it speak about yourself? It certainly doesn't mean you are a very wise and mature leader. Everyone makes mistakes. Some are costly, some are dismissable. Take the mistakes as a learning curve... ... But if, just if, we do succeed, then, everyone shares in th victory.

I felt that these simple truths can be applied anywhere from a work environment to ministry to even social and family areas... yet, so few people often get the chance to make this decision. For me, I'm glad I am. If you dare to stand up and speak out in front of a crowd, you will almost definitely be criticized. Expect it.

Haven't been so radical for a while now. I tend to ask 'why' regarding everything I have to do.
That's the part of me that is different.