so so busy

Interrupting a catnap, I am sooooo bad! It's gonna glare at me.

I have succeeded in the impossible feat of attending 4 interviews in one day.
Yes! And I was inflicted with a sore throat that lasted 4 days.

I had initially scheduled 5 in a day, the day after I got back from my vacation, but after the first one took more than 2 hours, I had to quickly postpone 1, and delay the other 3. I am very touched by people helping me to send my contact and profile to the interested parties. In fact, I had not applied for any of the roles save one. And currently, I am being represented by 3 different headhunters from leading firms, both for inhouse and external roles, despite my relative lack of length of experience, I feel really touched by their supreme confidence because I do not have that for my depth of ability.

I had heard earlier from my colleagues that immediately after I had left, they changed the notice scheme for all employees. From now on, people who leave can only choose to stay 2 weeks' and serve their notice, thus getting paid for it, or, choosing to leave immediately (just declare you are joining a competitor) and forfeit the amount. I'm not sure if it's considered ethical to even change the notice period like that for all employees from prior employees able to get a 2 weeks to one month garden payout... (wouldn't it be?)... perhaps a sign of the tight labor market next year. So, I am the last one to get a paid vacation (garden leave) of 2 weeks and the benefit of encashing my leave too. Woooo.

The days are so filled with interview stages, I have to constantly pick up the phone, do job personality assessments, plus my ongoing volunteer work for labor movement, catching up with friends (after being away I have to meet some people in my life)... that, I hardly have a day to spend on my own, ideally, reading a book in a quiet cafe. Anyway there are no quiet cafes in Singapore... Not to mention, I have neglected scrapbooking for some time, my room is in a perpetual whirlwind, etc, etc. Finally tomorrow I have a whole day to myself, just for myself. I will be attempting 'bouldering' tomorrow, something I have always wanted to do for ages but could never find the time.

I have to keep reminding myself not to rush around, or keep looking at my watch. It's strange that we have a tendency to walk faster and rush around when people around us are doing so, sometimes this is not conducive or productive, we may have missed out several facets we fail to observe in the rushed state of mind. I was contemplating to stop by and browse at a 2nd hand bookstore, and my easily rushed-mode mind was telling me the thing I always say to myself,'the bookstore will not run away, I can always find time to come back again (honestly highly unlikely as it's in an obscure locale), besides, don't I have a few unfinished books?' Then, I literally closed my eyes and stood still right there, and asked myself what would I really like to do when I am not rushing anywhere (And I am not rushing anywhere.) I found two books of the authors I like, Isabel Allende, and one of Irving's (someone was reading it on the train), they are too niche for most mainstream bookstores to carry so I was really stoked to find them. And another one of short stories that won the Orange Prize. It was an enjoyable browsing for the better part of the hour.

And I smiled all the way back as I felt the weight of these books in my bag.

interestingly enough

I've read a book where one of the chapter emphasizes, interestingly enough, on developing a "sense of self".

The self-help genre book is about how to be interesting and connect with people, one of the books I've picked up for my ... self-help issues! Anyway, I think, unlike most of my peers or Singaporeans in general, I do have some opinions. The point is, having opinions, ie, a strong sense of self, makes one interesting, and hence, likeable. So there are questions to ask ourselves to think about stuff, to have a viewpoint, an opinion. I am not that surprised to realize that most of my peers don't have a strong opinion to vote either way. Of course, I might be like them too, if not for my family who have friends in the party of interest, who turn out to be strong believers, who have garnered our support since 2006. But... I really am disgusted at people who 'void' their vote and proudly state so. I mean, it's our citizen right to vote. Maybe you don't have strong sentiments either way or don't like both parties. Still, I guess this ultimately shows the lack of sense of self, unless you have strong reasons for doing so. (I'm not sure whether 'voiding' the vote, on purpose, is ethical anyway.)

And interestingly enough, in my new company, where being a Singaporean, I am in the minority (currently 2 out of 11 from UK, Wales, Russia, India, Philippines, Australia, etc) it's the foreigners who most encourage my involvement in the election and are most open to hear my/our views. If I were to talk to a Singaporean having the opposite view, I guess they will just criticise and not be open to hear either way. And for those foreigners who have only been on our shores for a few months, I am surprised they know so much about our country, things we do not even bother to be aware of until the past few days - they know how many PRs/visas that have been given out, certain policies, and can make accurate social commentaries on certain hiring FTs, and certain socio-norms that we fail to realize may not be beneficial to our country... most of all, they support the fact that as citizens, we should be entitled to some rights, it is the country we're born in after all.

And seeing the way my friends have labored and are so vocal (with sincerity and hard effort), I feel a stirring in my heart for this nation, at last. I've never "really" felt anything for Singapore, preferring a cooler climate and nature parks over crowded shopping centres... preferring countryside to city living... preferring cultural places to those that are devoid of the traditional heritage and flavor. The least I can do is to write a little cross on a white paper... besides some brain work of compiling some information that hardly took up much time anyway. It's nice to know that so many people care, really care about Singapore. Even the foreigners who love working here.

Interestingly enough, being a 'melting pot' of cultures, we benefit so much from the strangers who call our shores their temporary home.

Interestingly enough, I have new respect for people who 'walk the talk', not just make outstanding comments, but also are prayerful enough to want change. It touches my heart to hear from people calling me, knowing I am involved in the effort, to tell me they are praying for my friend the candidate, and that even their parents are praying too! That so many people are so stirred up that they want to write a 'note' about their motivation and reasons for voting... it just humbles me to realise that I can and am playing a small part in this process.

the (ahem) older men in my life

Oh, it's been a steep, steep learning curve for me this week.

I think I can say safely that this past week my gray matter has increased significantly. For those in the know, after attending countless rounds of interviews (10 with 2 cos. last month!), meeting aussies, brits, americans, singaporeans.... they have been impressed by my 'je ne sais quoi' attitude and yes, I'd be starting in X co. real soon. The only thing is that the role requires me to specialize in IT, of which I honestly admit I know peanuts about. I think, since I was headhunted by the handsome aussie for the role, I should not be airhead-like and go: 'Oh, what is 'cloud', is it the fluffy white things in the sky???'

I've always been a member of the hi-caliber mens' club (every smart woman should have her network of equally smart men) so, I decided to aggressively meet them to pick their brains. I should do some legwork before I even step foot into the IT space! (Actually, being one of the rare women in IT does have its perks, similar idea to being a 'male nurse'; more on that later when I prove my theories right.) It's also nice to learn about things I have absolutely no knowledge about (and therefore no opinion).

Amazingly, I was referred to a Professor at a reputable university, who really gave me a crash course "IT 101"that is taught to Datuks' sons and whatnot, and 2 directors in the IT space both having very different functions talking to me for hours... and I gained a valuable insider look on what's happening in IT both in terms of technical jargon and almost everything I need to know about the tech market! I can't believe they are so wiling and giving to spend time with the airhead me, plus the Professor sent me his personal slides... thanks to one fantastic and smart guy friend who just made one phone call!!!

Best of all, I touched base with one of the attractive Managers in the co, and he gave me this memorable advice:

You are smart, but you may want to add in some passion. You need to have passion for the IT industry to really learn. It’s like you do not like eat pork ribs soup and I force you to learn to eat or even cook it. You will not cook a decent pork ribs soup if you do not like the food. But it does not also mean you will not slowly like pork ribs soup in the future. So back to being related to IT. You will slowly like it when you get exposed to more IT roles and speak to many candidates from the IT industry. That is the time where you will find learning about the industry easier because passion is there.

I guess the next time I eat pork ribs soup I will be thinking of him... (I asked him if he liked to eat it, he said he did not... that makes the 2 of us!) I'm so complimented that he said I was smart, I've only met him once (one round of interview) and I wanted to work with him already. (but ended up in this other role. Long story.) Dear 30 plus year old guys, you have no idea how much you have benefited me this week! I'm going to make sure they have made the right decision to choose me for the role, and make it count!

Also, on a side note, I'm thankful that I'm unfazed talking to angmohs, especially aussie angmohs. As my friend put it, 'The gift of the (SPG) gab'. Hey, not many people are able to make them 'feel at home'... okayyy.

They may be C-level people but each time I hear the aussie accent, I feel so much at ease talking to them about my theories about people, personality and the issues I usually harp upon while gazing into their large, pale colored eyes. And then they like me so much and even tell me so. "Hey I have to say that X angmoh Manager likes you and so do I. We like you!" (I am also loving their upfront 'take no prisoners' attitude.)

Well, I had aussie English teachers (me topped the class, leh!) and lived there in my developmental age, so I guess there is an inherent value to children who had spent time overseas. And also children like myself who spent time 'block-catching' with a large group of male neighbours (only one other girl neighbor) makes me immune to the weirdness of men.

I also managed to read 3 women's career help books. I never read these things, so it was mind-blowing. And so helpful I can't believe I've not read them earlier!

1. How to make anyone like you: Proven ways to become a people magnet by Leil Lowndes
2. How to instantly connect with anyone by Leil Lowndes
3. Women, work and the art of Savoir Faire by Mirelle Guiliano (A MUST-READ!)
4. Nice Girls don't get the corner office 101 Unconscious mistakes women make that sabotage their careers by Lois P. Frankel

I'm also reading 'The Idiot' by my favorite russian author, the one whom I always quote. M.Fyodor Dostoevsky.

how to get headhunted

In my line of work, I have the opportunity to quietly observe how local people communicate, mostly, over the phone and over emails. I'm not an expert in any way but after only one year of experience I hope these tips can help my friends get ahead, in life, work, just some simple commonsense reminders.

1. Make people feel good.

I'm impressed by the way high-level, go-getter people communicate. They can be any age, but I can tell they are high-level and eventually, will go far in their career by a few simple ways. In fact, it is so simple so many people fail to realize this small thing - it's how the people feel when they 'meet' you. Number 1, make them feel good or better than before they met you. They will surely remember you with a good vibe. I'm not saying go overboard with lavish comments, but everyone feels better when you notice and compliment their nice dress, or even just letting them take the time to drink their coffee and not make the meeting seem so rushed. I personally subscribe to this, and I always make it a point to give a small tip to my manicurist - the prices are so low I can afford it, and the service is always impeccable at my usual place, plus, it gives me a pleasurable feeling to see their eyes light up when they receive it! A kind word always helps to make people feel good, I always cheer up when people message me after a trip, even a short trip - I never expected them to remember I'm back, and it really brightens up the gruelling journey home! So many people forget to thank the people who have given them an opportunity to go for an interview, the HR Manager, the headhunter. Even though you didn't get the job or the deal, a thank you note goes a long way...

Those who sent thank you notes to me are few and far between, I would have to say sadly, most are foreigners or foreign-educated.( And birthday cards seem to be going out of fashion too...) Conversely, some people phrase their emails for their job-search in a rather rude way. I really have no idea what sort of response they are looking for... it's quite sad that I see this most often in graduates as well. If we are asking people to help us to do something, in social or work settings, in this case to get ahead in their career, there is a nice way of asking that makes people really want to help you.


2. Bad branding or Non-branding does not get you to the place you want to be.

An example of bad personal branding would be constantly updating your social network status with work issues or emo issues so that everyone can see what a scary person you really are inside and no one, even a good friend, would dare to recommend you for a position in X company that would be a great career for you. I've seen topless party photos (male) and goodness knows what not. Of course everyone is entitled to their personal freedom as to what to write and post. But maybe some can ask a more senior-level friend what their impression would be on their status and photo posting. I'm sure all of us are thinking about some clueless friend of ours who could benefit from this...

On another extreme there are some people who are so private that no one really knows what they work as... I think for friends and acquaintances, a good gauge would be when your friend or contact introduces their other friend to you and they have some things to say about you, your life, and your work. I think most of us do not like to be 'pigeonholed' into a stereotypical image of our job, nor like to broadcast what we work as, but I think your circle should at least know your vocation, or if you're looking to change jobs, for that matter. If they hear about an open position which matches your interest, at least they will let you know they saw it in the papers or heard it over the grapevine, I think that is always good. No one likes someone who always blows their own trumpet, but once in a while, it would do you good to quietly state your accomplishments. Most of my friends know I belong to the 'first-class' club and I've worked really unbelievably hard for it, made many sacrifices, yadda yadda... that is why I'm not ashamed of the fact I have got the top honours. There is some mental image that people conjure up in their heads when they think of your name, we are all typical that way. So many times I've seen on Facebook or email some things that really is bad for making an impression on others, if only they knew... ...

I've also made the mistake of telling everyone a job change when that role turned out not to work out well for me... I informed happily my new position to most of the people I've worked with in my previous job, including some top-level directors at government spaces... to my chargin I had to leave that place sooner than I've expected, which in turn would lead to a barrage of questions from well-meaning people. I could have saved myself the trouble if I only informed the closer ones and only later when I got my footing to brand myself in the role. Well, lesson learnt!

A side note, for your boyfriend/girlfriend, please be proud to introduce them to the people you inadvertently bump into, unless it's a secret that you are dating. Your other half will like you all the better for it if you just say, "Oh, by the way, this is my boyfriend Bert! Nice to meet you here!" to those hello-goodbye people. We do the same with our parents and our good friends (I hope) so if you're lucky to be attached to someone you love, don't give him/her the invisible treatment. So many times I can see the other friend looking at a couple who are seemingly a couple, but they fail to introduce themselves as one, and the other friend has question-marks going through their head... Is it a brother? A friend? A boyfriend? Lol. It shows a mark of confidence in the relationship too, I've noticed.3. Bad writing does not get you anywhere. (Or, some CV writing tips.)

I've received horrible and hilarious CVs and it's a wonder why those candidates did not spell-check, or 'google' for some tips on CV writing. I heard there's a whole book of tips you can buy at our friendly Popular... ...anyhow, some rules of the thumb is, it's always better to address the email to the person-in-charge, no "Dear (fill-in-the-blank)". I've received emails addressed to me as "Dear Richard", "Dear Sir", best, "Dear Mr Rachel"... sigh. It's also good to state what job you are applying for in the email title (surprise, a lot of people fail to do so) and never, never, state you are applying for 'any job'...sigh.

For local contenders, I commonly see such bad writing as well:

-Career Objective : it's now replaced with 'Profile', do you see any managers putting down 'Career Objective', of course not!

-'References will be provided upon request' : Duh, of course you will provide if they ask for it. Take out this redundant line.

-Leaving out your contact number or email address or not answering your phone or worse, switching it off: Yes, I've encountered this. When I emailed one lady about not having her contact number in her CV, she emailed me back thanks. But she still did not leave her number...okayyy. Never switch off your phone because most recruiters call you twice in the day at max. We are busy people. Always try to pick up when you can. Yes, there are people who do that...It's best to leave an alternate number in your CV if you have one.

-Hobbies: I had a chap who put that his hobbies include "fishing, singing KTV, snooker"... first thought that came to my mind? Ah-Beng! Imagine what your future Manager thinks if you put 'window-shopping', or 'sky-diving', or, say, 'Wing Chun' as your hobby? Just don't put any, no one will accuse you of being boring and I've not seen any interviewer quiz you about why you did not put any hobbies in your CV either.

-Please don't put your Edusave awards in primary school (there are many people who put that, okay)... or such long-ago achievements. Do list down work achievements, a few for each of your last roles.

-Use a serious photo. You have no idea how many funny photos I've seen. It's a wonder why they put the photos they put.


4. Ace the interview!

Be prepared. Outfit check. For non-fresh graduates, try not to wear a black skirt, white blouse/shirt combo from the local cheap suit store. It's very freshie. You know la. If you have many years of experience, I'm sure you can afford to dress more 'atas'. Unless you apply for a bank front office role in which I definitely say wear a suit at least, you can wear some more color and tasteful jewelery...shift dress...pumps... go google 'what not to wear'... never never never carry any flashy logo branded bag. I've seen that sabotage many interviews. When in doubt an envelope clutch or any business like neutral color bag.Nice shoe.


All interviewers ask a variant of the same questions.
It's not about the questions, but the underlying questions...
This part is rather hard to explain. But surprisingly, I can always tell through the phone conversation who can ace it and who can't. Besides making point 1. of letting the Managers like you, really like you, you have to come across as responsible, efficient, not desperate for a job 'any job', highly desirable, clever, and someone who brings benefits to the company's revenue bottom line. The C-level people are always looking for staff that makes a difference that way. They are looking for hires to make a difference in the short-term, 1-3 year duration, at LEAST.

The HR Managers main concern are people they'd like to retain. Retention of staff is their top priority. It's hard to retain good people. They will be wondering if you are the job-hopper type, a waste of their resources and training...

And the direct line Managers are looking for people they'd love to train and work with, also demonstrating good team player attitude amongst others. It's so easy once you keep this in mind while answering the questions in the interview. Not many people have this mindset though, and therefore they lose out, and waste many others' time. And for goodness' sake, when they ask if you have any questions, ask, but don't ask excessively...'no questions' means you aren't really interested, or boring, or just not an attractive being. They are used to answering the same questions to dozens of candidates so maybe you can ask it in a different way... =)

I wrote this for a friend who had the initiative to ask me how to revamp his CV. For most people, going to interviews is a once-in-a-few years thing and therefore there is that fear there. But it's quite easy once you know the basics. It's a good year for a job change too!

Gold Harikin Slim by Superheadz

Leave it to the Japanese to make beautiful toy cameras that take wonderful pictures.

Somehow the retro era of Lomography and lomo-like photos are in fashion now, and one of the best things is that they are not so pricey and you can find them easily. I got mine at the Cat Socrates store (link is on my right column's bookmarks.) I'm still thinking about getting a Lomo as it is more than double the prices of these cute ones.

I chose the gold one, the most flashy of the lot. Hot pink was nice too but I think... gold!

Actually some of my subjects (alley cats) are attracted to the glinting gold, and come up close. Haha.

I wanted to take photos under the scorching Melakan sun. Unfortunately it was cloudy and rainy most of the time owing to the current unpredictable weather. I've taken a roll of film which I will send for processing later. Hope some of them turn out fine! I've not used a film camera for more than 10 years now, so reloading and 'winding' the film each time you take a photo is quite nolstalgic. This 'technology' has been around for many years and I hope that we will not be too modernized to forget it altogether.

One thing good about my job is that you get to observe many interesting people. All of them have the same goal in mind. To change jobs. Some are just shopping around, some are seriously wanting to change.

And in the financial industry, it takes all kinds. One guy brightened up my day by constantly keeping me updated on his progress in the job selection cheerfully. After my job is done, it is seriously up to these individuals how they present themselves and negotiate, and perform to the hiring people and the resource people.

Many times, resourcing people will not even give some a chance to meet them based on how they write their CV. It's true. This guy, he was so humble that he failed to mention his glowing achievements on his CV. I later realised he was a christian, that could be the reason why. But he was one of the star performers in his batch, performing above average and top of his batch in many areas of sales products. It's really very shocking to me how he fail to mention such glowing achievements when others in the financial industry list down numerous pointers of 'key achievements' to stand out.

So I asked him to rewrite the CV and send it back. But his laptop had failed and he was going to buy one at the then-PC show. So I just wrote it for him instead and sent it in. He was very grateful although to me this is what I usually do in my job.

After 2 rounds of interviews, he was granted a job, and a good one too. The salary was offered at 20% increase which I know is the highest they can offer. Usually most candidates get 15%.

And the job enables him to move up into a department which in his current company takes at least 2 years to reach! It really made my day working with such nice individuals because in a highly stressed environment many tend to take the people we work with and work for, for granted. It could be because we are being chased incessantly, and sometimes the demands are too steep. I'm glad I could help someone be a marketplace leader in the near future and I hope he always keeps his faith working in this dog-eat-dog financial market.

all in a day's work

It's about 2 months since I've embarked on this new job. As I was contemplating a 'career' move out of the media industry and into this industry since the start of the year, I had no qualms moving into this position. But it's not as easy as it seems. For those in the sales cycle crunch, the emotional ups and downs of 'chasing sales' is prevalent in this job, and the stress is similar, if not more so. But maybe I find it a wee bit easier as I've worked in those types of sales enviroment before.

As I've always liked to set a high standard for myself in any area I choose to excel in, I have personal aims and am personally motivated too. So motivated that most of the times I forget to eat lunch. But the downside is, I can put aside all feelings whatsoever and concentrate on the task at hand.... and suddenly, I will be 'struck down' by immense feelings of helplessness and 'I can't do this anymore'. Suddenly the stress all comes crashing down on me and I feel like a tiny slug.

A few weeks ago, I felt so stressed that I just could not do anything that day. The powerless, helpless feelings overwhelmed me. Maybe it was because of past issues - I had a bad nightmare of 'ghosts from the past', which really burdened my mind the whole day. Also, there were other issues at that point of time, I was still coming to terms with the sudden loss of a pet, relationship woes, amongst others.

The feeling was a really lonesome feeling, I think all women who have worked and been very stressed in their work, will know what I am trying to express - the feeling of being all alone in this personal struggle about work we fear no one would understand, or want to understand... it's terribly lonely and sad!

Thankfully, TheBoyfriend had a leave day so he just drove me to the beach, tears and all, and after some moments of breathing in the oil-slicked seabreeze, I felt much better. It's a shame that all of us live so close or can easily access the beach, but most of the time we prefer shopping malls instead. I always feel calm walking on the sand and hearing the waves lap. Somehow this natural scene also makes me seem closer to God. I continued doing my work in the evening, with a renewed sense of peace.

After my short stint in the hospital job early this year, I really wondered how I was going to forge my career path. I'm not ambitious in the corporate ladder climbing sense, but there's an egoistic part of me that needs to be doing something really remarkable. I wondered how people would look at me, as I really had the intention to pursue a career in the healthcare sector... but failed so fast and so soon.

But you never know who cares enough to lend you a helping hand. A nice guy friend had smsed me some weeks after I ranted incessantly and treated him as a punching bag during those days at hospital work. How nice, I thought, surprised that someone had remembered my pain.

A nice lady in church shared with me out of the blue, after she read my FB message about the long MC I was given for 'stress-related' causes. How she too, had faced a trying time at work, and also broke down, like me. I was both touched and stunned by her act of bravery in sharing with me. It's not easy to share about the weak times, especially to a mere acquaintance. And after all, it was 'only' a FB message which I thought no one would give a second thought about. I could have hugged her right there and then.

No one knew I was feeling really bad because I worried that it could lead to a nervous breakdown, maybe, and I was really scared I'd end up in the loony ward. My sister said the medicine they gave was the strong type for her neurological patients, haha... but it really worked to make you calm and sleep like a baby!

So, I think, it's normal to have doubts about work.

Whether... I can do this long term? It does look promising to do more than pay my bills, but in the long run, would my emotional health be okay, or would I be more mature in handling stressors and handling people than others? How about future prospects?

Anyways, it's only been 2 short months and I am still a novice.

I have met many nice people, and of course the not-so-nice ones as well. It's the nice ones that make your day!

I hope I can do well...

an interesting job indeed

Just watched 'The Blind Side' starring an unrecognizable Sandra Bullock. It's a great movie. Very well-done acting and scripting. It's about Christian values but not overboard preachy. Most of all, a believable remake of a true story! I thought it would be overly weepy and emo but it's not, yay! I enjoyed it tremendously and so will you.

One friend remarked to me today that out of all the people she knew, she thought that I had the most interesting jobs. It's a compliment! (I hope...) Well, the titles are interesting enough...and so are the people I meet in the line of work. Doctors, Parkour founders, Restauranteurs, Exercise gurus, Chicken farm owner, Dog farm owner, Authors...yeah most people would not get to meet them.

But with a sigh, I ponder over my 'choices' and wonder if I could have done something, more stable. At this age, there's no more 'playing', but doing something meaningful and career-enhancing.

Design/creative jobs just don't feed and clothe me well, despite the fact that I'm good in it. Can I find something else that I'm good at that is lucrative? This current job seems to be, although I don't want to say too much until I'm a bit more settled in. I'm really thankful for this opportunity although at the same time it's also a risk, but I hope I can make it my career and help many people at the same time. I always find it meaningful to help people in my line of duty.

And in line with the recent news articles over the jobs debate, it's not my fault that I change jobs so often. I suspect the hype about younger workers changing jobs more often is all in a bid to get companies to 'see' older workers as more valuable, being less likely to change jobs. Of course, I also don't have a good impression of those who don't stay in the job for more than 3 quarters, and repeating this behavior time and again. 5 jobs in 5 years type of person!!! It seems frivolous, it seems that they have not decided what they want to do and are wasting all the employer's time and effort. Of course, part of it may be they make disastrous choices. It is always a gamble to take up one job and not another.

I think the job market has changed so much that it's impossible to stay for long in a SME. All my previous bosses fell with cashflow problems, which is ultimately frustrating if you intend to stay in the job for long-term. Of course, staying with the co might 'pay off' in the long run, but so far I did not have this mentality. Maybe I'm scarred from previous occurrences. After all, can you really trust your efforts with a boss who cannot manage his finances and owe you some months of CPF or claims....?

Anyway, I'm blessed to have some good experiences in my jobs too, so I shall not complain. Just take it as an investment for a lesson learnt, as what they say. In all, there is more 'good' than 'bad', I choose to see it that way. The people I've met and friends I've made, in a nutshell, is priceless.

In my current line of work, hmmm, let's say I view many people CVs and help them to be 'in' or 'out'.

I got to see some inspiring CVs like those from humble background, not even passing secondary school, dropped out and have to take ITE courses... from a minority race... (which not many cos like to employ, truth be told), working from the bottom and becoming a success story...a manager of a team with good sales result... really inspiring! And they are nice and humble on the phone. In this line, the benefit is that people will be really grateful to you as you are the 'judge'. One funny lady even made me laugh by asking me to matchmake her too! (Being 'single' as well.)

However, there are nasty people too. When I spoke to a lady applying for a bank job, she kept asking the specific scope and nature of the job, which I replied that I would prefer that the bank hiring manager himself told her the minute details and not hear it from me. (Duh.) She just nastily said, 'Oh, so you don't know what the job is about isit?' I wanted to clobber her. And this is just the first round of interview. So rude! Today, I had another rude case. A guy who kept blabbering on and on about how this bank (Bank Y) is so slow to respond to his application whereas Bank X was immediately accepting him, and kept going on and on about how they are so slow, so lousy, the position is nothing much compared to X position, the clients were not as high net worth as claimed... etc...!

He seems so reluctant for this job, which he applied for, and kept grousing to me over the phone....and behaved as if he was 'helping me' instead of the other way round! He really riled me up and I just cut him off saying 'So do you want to proceed with your application?' He was very impolite, I guess this is the way he treats people, without respect. The position was quite a prestigious one, with many people from private banks experience, applying,...really impressive people earning more than the expected salary requirements... and with his experience of only working in Prudential for a year, does he really expect Bank Y to fall head over heels to employ him... I regret calling him!!! The inspiring guy who dropped out of secondary school who became a successful sales manager, is etched in my memory because a few days later, he called to thank me and even told me to put him for any job of a similar capacity. So nice. Unlike Mr Rude.

I think the way you treat people goes a long way. Rude service staff always gets on my nerves. (Yes, especially those who insist on speaking Mandarin to me, heavy accented Mandarin and I do not understand a word.) I do sympathise with the store in a way, they perhaps employed the wrong person. But after all, I may be spending quite a lot of my hard-earned money at your store, so the least I expect is some basic courtesy.

in a little small corner of the work world.

Just wanted to share this lovely, lovely bouquet. The Boyfriend and I helped our friend to select the roses - huge red blooms from Ecuador, framed by smaller white ones from India and the accompanying white velvety looking sprays which are my personal favorite... it was for a proposal and it really made my weekend to see our friend making all the arrangements, getting the ring (goldheart solitaire), going twice to select the flowers and arranging with the manager of the cafe for the special moment. I was impressed to hear that he has made the previous bouquets by himself - it takes a lot of time and effort and after being hands-on this round, I also begin to appreciate the effort, it's really not easy to choose and arrange flowers man...just glad that through the downpour of job woes, I could share in this time of joy.

It's the first time I've ever wanted to quit a job so soon, and surprisingly or perhaps unsurprisingly, all my colleagues (and one ex-colleague who quit after one month plus), friends-in-the-know are supporting this decision. After all, I've been falling sick with 'acute stress', and scarily the walk-in clinic doc wanted to refer me to a psychiatrist... is the stress that bad? While it seems ironic that just a short while ago, I wanted a more 'stable' job, stable and good govt income, benefits, regular hours, corporate wear (yes, it's uncomfortable at times but I do look good in it...=P) all these things matter lightly in the face of unreasonable demands and personal attacks. My poor colleagues had a taste of what I've been going through just the other day - and they were traumatized and disbelieve that I had to endure such...accusations for days on end, and kindly advised me to quit in my best interests of health and future prospects (no prospect to stay.)

The best advice of all came from our ex-secretary whom I could clique with - having the seat next to mine, she was also unwavering in her support, having quit the job a few weeks ago. Yes, I've been here barely a month but it's now the THIRD secretary... she likened the boss, our reason for the job being unbearable, to Miranda Priestley in 'The Devil Wears Prada', but without the dress sense. That got me thinking, and the situation I am in, bears a resemblance to the young girl character played by Anne Hathaway. Yes, it was a tough and unbearable environment - she almost lost her faithful cute boyfriend for the job, but she persevered. But end of the day, she decided that she did not want to be like Miranda Priestley, and so, threw in the towel for a job more suited to her interests. It was like a lightbulb flicked on in my head - yes, I could 'tahan' for longer if I wanted to, I am quite a strong character after all...but...end of the day, is this what I really want? Maybe having a disturbed, or non-existent relationship for keeping my job? No holidays, no life, feeling guilty when I take MC for a genuine illness? As much as I would like to believe things can get better, the numbers speak for itself - most people quit after 6 months or less - a kind finance department colleague told me not to beat myself up, for a similar girl, 'g', got the same personal attack treatment in this job... and promptly left after as short a time as me. I'm trying to be objective and not defensive about my decision, but I guess such a short time in the job would prompt questions... so in short perhaps 'it's not the right job fit', as everyone would say would be the most diplomatic answer.

Moving on, I'm not so sure what I want to do. I've always thought I'd do someting holistic, something humanitarian, involving some creativity. Which begs the question, 'what do I really want?' Not just in job, but in life itself?? I guess I want what everyone wants - being able to afford life's little luxuries, every month a little shopping for clothes, watch a couple movies, holiday twice a year etc. I guess I want a nice family and a happy marriage. Everyone wants that...all those 30plus year old friends of mine, male and female, are longing for that - not just to get hitched but, I think, to move on to the phase in life they already should have, and are starkly reminded of it when all their friends have kids and yet more kids... I feel so inadequate, at my age, I should have ample savings, I should have mastered some housekeeping skill in wielding the broom or the wok... I should have been in a place much better than where I am in, now.

But do I really want all these?...I've always thought I'm a bit different from others, and a lovely colleague said that I taught her a new way to live, my free-spirited and not being overly affected or worrying kind of mentality, have taught her to be a more carefree person. Have I? This coming from someone who took a job opportunity to work in the USA for a year - I've always wanted to work somewhere overseas for a while, but never got round to it or perhaps don't have the guts to.

Think I just need sometime to figure out what I really need to work in. Wishing right now that the almost perfect job will just drop from the sky. If not, most likely I'd be in contract positions for a while, figuring out what I really need to do.

I need another black skirt.

An office lady dressed in a sharp pencil skirt with the right amount of satin - shiny but not soooo shiny it looks inexpensive; walking in sensible low black pumps, with a taupe top which showed just a little of her sexy back. I can't help noticing how the whole outfit looks so put together and if there's any wardrobe essentials for the office lady, I would say it's a black skirt. It just makes colorful tops looks better and lets you get away with looser drapier stuff on top. So although I already have 2 black skirts - a cheap one from Bangkok, an expensive one from Zara, I think I might need just one more in the right cutting.

Met some of my other work soldiers from other departments yesterday and I'm amazed at how the drone environment is such a big, yet small, place. News, especially bad news, spreads fast and I am able to dig up some intriguing pieces of news that shed the light on things, actually, it's not much effort to dig those up. I'm relatively unaffected by politics given that I'm on the lower end of the food chain, still, I believe that my connections help me, in certain ways.

Like the way rich people hobnob, because of my past jobs I know and am well acquainted with certain successful individuals. Like the marketing director of XX, the ex-GM and the ex-COO of my company, so-and-so. So for someone at the bottom, I have pretty powerful friends. I know people who have worked for years in my current co, and are thus also influential in their own right. Name-dropping only helps you though, if you're in a bad spot and have somehow managed to name-drop before the situation, and not to use the names as a threat.

The possibility of repercussions sounds more interesting than the actual demeaning usage of them, and in a small country where your reputation precedes your ability, I'm not below those to do so to people who need their reputations to be as clean-cut as they can possibly afford. Telling the truth - or letting the truth see the light of day, as with recent celebrity infidelities, damages relationships, finances, emotions, etc... despite the general public closing one eye and being quite complacent about it, in the long run it will come back to bite them.

So maybe I'm not surprised that after I was being personally insulted (on the verge of harassment or a lawsuit should I be an American), my ruffled feathers were quickly being smoothed down as well. (Before the day ended, received an sms by way of apology.) The indignant me wanted to speak my mind, but thanks to The Boyfriend's intervention it became a hysterically cordial reply. Maybe I have more 'inner' EQ than those around me, in this area.

To put it more crudely and more honestly, in some areas, I have a 'I don't give a damn' attitude. I see those bending over backwards for the whims of others and this does not bode well in my lifestyle. I think in some areas, 'I don't give a damn' is good!

a shocking job interview

Currently looking for a job, I was really keen to go to and possibly get hired into a company which everyone, even my Dad, oohed and aahed over.

I guess everyone knows about the exciting pay and benefits one can get in such a job. Also, such jobs are only open to graduates with 'very good' degrees, so it was also an accomplishment for me just to score the interview. The job scope looked like something I could do well (design based), and the position was something impressive as well (it has a 'manager' in the title!)

But the interview was possibly one of the worst interviews I've ever been to. I was shocked and disappointed, and too stunned that I had to write it here.

Having been interviewed quite a number of times, and also been on the other side- having interviewed people as well, I can say that I'm quite objective in this area. My interview with this prestigious organization consisted of 3 interviewees. Since most of them had the brains to be working there, and also the design smarts, I expected to be talking to creative, capable individuals. But their body language indicated that interviewing me was a bore, and they looked so wearied at their job that in the short time I was there I began to feel stifled, tense and uncomfortable myself! One guy who definitely looked very intelligent, took to studying my CV throughout the whole interview with nary a glance at me. He looked as if he was studying for an exam but did not ask me any smart questions about my previous job scope which had been queried to me before by other competent managers.

When I asked them about what the scope exactly entails, the lady told me mumbo-jumbo which no one could understand, I believe she just memorised the scope word for word - and when I asked them about the companies they were involved with (as mentioned on the website), she could not name any... well then, what was the job really about? She told me wearily, that 70-80% of the time spent involved writing reports (which I think no one would read or understand) and little time spent outfield unless they had projects. She also said that they always work OT to finish the reports and because they had many bosses, it takes a long time to get approval for things to be done. In short, she is not selling this position to me but in fact scaring me off.

The other lady just looked at my shoes and my bag. All three were poker faced with no enthusiasm at all.

When I showed them a presentation of one of my ideas on how to integrate a design function of existing technology to provide users with a healthcare experience, which impressed even technology companies and healthcare directors and got them excited, these scholars just stared at it blankly, poker faced. This spells out clearly to me that they can't even tell if it's a good idea or not. (Don't want to press the point, but my idea impressed HP top execs, Healthcare IT directors, my ex-boss that he called to let them know, various head of healthcare who immediately saw how it works and the benefits, etc.)

Immediately, I could see how it works in this company. It's quite sad, if I am a top student who have worked hard to excel in my field, only to be stuck in a job which require only report writing skills and no ability to make decisions, thus rendering me incapable to tell how to and when to approve things. By the way, entering this job also requires an IQ test.

Even though I am probably paid much lesser than them, I had the authority to control my schedule, plan for work areas which I am enthusiatic about because it is something I want to do, and work with people I like because I can. I've been told about the government drones, now meeting 3 of them, I feel I don't want to become one of them! I guess all of us can tell about entering some workplaces, there is a busy, vibrant vibe, or at least a positive vibe in it. When I entered that building, it seems dead, tense, stifling although their job is to creative positive design spaces. I've been to other government buildings to meet with top execs and I can say that it is not like this in other places. I was just too shocked with this interview and the lack of enthusiasm and lack of understanding creativity they employ, that I would believe was essential not only to their jobs but to the whole organization.

Time to kill time

Read this today, in 'Girl Meets God' by Lauren Winner, a book I've gotten from Kie for my christmas present:

To read, when one does so of one's own free will, is to make a volitional statement, to cast a vote, it is to posit an elsewhere and set off toward it. And like any traveling, reading is at once a movement and a comment of sorts about the place one has left. To open a book voluntarily is at some level to remark the insufficiency either of one's life or of one's orientation toward it.
- Sven Birkerts.

I've been praying lots more now, perhaps when our busy life becomes a simpler life, we have more time to pray. Maybe simplicity is good. I find that when I'm with myself I'm not a worrywart, or a busy-bee person. I'm just someone who lives in the present and enjoys the moment and enjoy my own company, perhaps far too much. I've allocated at least an hour to cleaning out my cupboards, I seem to have numerous cupboards... and folding clothes. I've achieved a bagful more of clothes (very 'home clothes') I will throw away/recycle, after going through my wardrobe again. And surprisingly, I feel the peace of God. Despite incessant worries that my bank account is going to dry up if I am jobless for more than a few months, and what if I don't get my dream job... I feel the peace. It's in the little things I am aware of, that I have experienced this year.

On the first day of the year, at about 530ish to 6 am, TheBoyfriend and I were travelling home from a couples games night... his car battery went flat. In short, we couldn't possibly find anyone to help tow at that unearthly hour plus we HAD to get out of my residence's narrow carpark (but it was impossible to push it all the way out to the main road, those who have been to my carpark would know.) While getting quite irate at standing there and not knowing what to do, I suddenly had the idea of getting into the car and praying like a religious nut, 'laying hands on the dashboard' and hoping by some miracle the car would sputter to life. So we did that. And turned the key, hoping to hear the engine roar instead of a dying man's cough, which the dead battery sounded like... and we heard... the dying man's cough. Sigh. We got out of the car only to be approached by, 2 men, DRESSED IN WHITE, asking if we needed help to restart and before we could nod, they took out the cables and drove their orange car nearer and voila! Problem solved. Now here I must say that in Singapore, not many people 1.are knowledgeable about how to restart a car battery using their own battery, and 2. possessing the cable needed. Even my dad's car would not have such a cable (that is why I did not wake him up.) So in short, God really provided us with what we needed at the right time too. The next day the car battery was replaced in the afternoon. We just felt... at that time that we were so blessed to really have this unique experience, so very blessed.

And then, last week, TheBoyfriend's Mom, all by herself (invited by her hospital's boss) went to church!

She looked happy and here is my vague translation of dinner table talk(being 'poor' in Mandarin I did not say a word), eating the famous chicken rice at Queenstown area...

Uncle James: So you went to church today? Your son's church?
TBF Mom: No, went to one in Jalan Besar, they have buses, etc...
Uncle James: You should go 'xi li' (baptize), Go 'xi li' la...
Me: !!!
Uncle James went on to talk about some relative who baptized and the whole topic...ended up with him saying: Who knows (what may happen in the future), I might be an 'alleluia alleluia'!
Aunt Sally: You will, meh? Don't bluff. You got all those 'fo' (little buddha idols) hanging around.
Uncle James: Actually I am not the kind of devout believer, I have those because I felt it's nice to buy them, but I am not devout at all. So you never know one day.
Me:!!!

Seems they are quite open to Christ.

She later said someone in the church gave her a Bible because she had a spare, and we all could see she was utterly touched by that gesture! Here I have to say that if you feel compelled to give someone a Bible, please do so, even if you feel the person won't read it, somehow, this will make the person feel very blessed and it's a small step pointing them towards Jesus.

And I am blessed because for this year 2010, I believe too God will bless my career. It may take me 5 more years or so to reach where I'd ideally like to be, but throughout God will lead me through.

that's why they call it corporate culture.

A photo concept of mine taken last year, that was not doable without the help of friends - we took a LONG time arranging this, a camera that had a tripod and a auto-mode, and the beautiful thailand beach of course. We won a best photo award! I'm looking forward to a short break early next month, it's always good to take an exciting holiday from time to time. And I shared a testimony in cell that I had just changed my baht - in faith - a major sum for my trip. And it happened to be at its lowest point then. Of course, it might slide down a little lower, etc, and the difference is a few baht anyways, but I felt a sense of joy that I didn't waste money and time. (The ringgit's low these days too!)

Those money gurus always tell you not to invest yourself into a business/industry that requires your 'man-hours' for profit, as this kind of business will never make it big, big in the global sense. But since not all of us aim for the stars, should we take this into consideration? For instance if you are a... masseur, you can earn... $20 - $200 /hour, depending on the type of establishment you are in. Similar for hawkers and people who do sales. It's really how many chicken wings or how many medical devices you can push within one hour and multiply that, you have got your job and income!

Hear of people saying they left their job or hate their job because of the corporate culture they are in? It's because their skills-set do not have inherent value... or are easily picked up.

Say, you are good in... videography. And you have worked for a few years, 3-5 years maybe. So now your income is double that or close to double, of a fresh grad's monthly salary. You think you have got it made! But as a boss (I'm not referring to my situation, just in general), a small-company boss would think, am I paying you too much? Because a fresh grad can do, in about 6 months' of learning, a fresh grad can do what you do and probably with a better attitude and a less slacker mindset. So...you are not very marketable, isn't it? What sets you apart from the fresh grad in terms of output and revenue? Are you able to do double or triple of what they do in a day, thus ensuring your iron rice bowl? Of course not, because one hour of work is the same amount! And it's not only in the media industry but I believe, many other companies as well. Those 'bottom-feeder'/low-level 'marketing managers'? Trust me, they will stay in that position but maybe hop from company to company, always underperforming. That's the situation.

While it may look bad for companies to hire and fire, bottom line for most small companies is revenue. I'm not saying that I affirm their move, in fact, it is bad for the corporate culture to do so, deploying staff as and when reduces work productivity also, but when the going gets rough, many will lose their jobs, within or without reason. So I'm asking myself, how can I make sure that I have a skill that will enable me to ride the tide?

Some skills are highly valued, more so than others, especially in our little island state. I may aspire to be an 'OL' - office lady in the future, but I think those OLs have very little place to learn and be 'indispensable' to any company, as well. A lot of older folk always told me that a good skill to learn is ...SALES. Then not only will you be indispensable, you also master the art of selling which is not easy, I've been there done that and reaped the rewards, perhaps even reaping it now! Also, having a variable income might be very cool to most people. And a sense of accomplishment, knowing you have worked hard for your money, you will treasure the things you buy with it more, I feel.

I have a penchant for coach bags - the more classic designs, and I can always remember when/how I bought them and under what kind of financial situation. Somehow the lovely dresses and bags remind me of what I once worked hard for. The way good sales engineers are hard to find: It's a specialized field, plus most engineer types suck at sales/explaining themselves so that everyone can understand, thus, highly paid and highly sought after...

For those who are highly-paid in a job that even fresh grads can do, it's time to take a hard look at your career advancements, because soon, there won't be any, and that's corporate culture for you.

pet peeves

I read two great articles about cold/flu and H1N1 vaccine questions. I'm really thinking of getting a normal flu jab so this might be something worth reading, it might change your mind or just point you to some relevant questions from an established doctor's point of view!

http://drbenkim.com/cold-flu-difference-health.html

http://drbenkim.com/h1n1-flu-shot.htm

Also, a great site for reading about how to update resumes, job advice etc... really relevant and useful information.

www.pongoresume.com

Well, I've recently found out my pet peeves, regarding co-workers (whomever I work with, in office or in my job or in...elsewhere). Almost ALL the time, we cannot choose who we have to contact, liase with or who's overseeing us... most of the time, it does not get to me. Or I choose not to think about it or not to complain. But now... I shall, I must!

1. 'Skivers'

Yes there is such a word. Some people who shirk off their duties, giving ELABORATED excuses on why they can't do it. They actually have the skill and time to do, they just don't want to and so give countless reasons why, some reasons are really creative and convincing, up till a certain point. Well usually it doesn't bother me until I have to give their lame, shoddy excuses on THEIR behalf. And usually, putting off work means you have to do it later and at a more urgent deadline too. So just do it, I say. I'm not a workaholic, I also surf my personal email, FB, and other interesting sites during my work hours as I'm allowed to. But I set myself work targets and at the end of the day, complete my tasks. Being the first to reach office too, I am the first to leave, it's fair this way. The Skivers may try to make you feel bad about it but unless they are groping for OT pay, then ask them to leave office with you too, if they can arrive as early as you do.

2. 'Uncles'

A branch-off from 'Skivers', they have too much time on their hands, are often found gathered at water-coolers, and chatting about the meeting they have just attended or the schedule or anything under the sun which is not really related to work, but they make it the all-important topic of the day. Not your nice kindly uncles, they are the ones that will grow into kopi-shop complainants, but for now are content to talk for hours about their opinion to whoever seems sympathetic or just happens to be at the water-cooler too. They usually entice the listener by a hesitant tone and 'Hey, I think ah... this and that... how about you?' and draws the hapless listener into a long, seemingly well-meaning but hopeless dialogue. Listening to them annoys the hard-working bunch who are 'less talk, more action' beings.

3. 'Interferers'

Their "advice" is highly annoying especially when you feel you have to explain to them your course of action (you don't have to, really, they will not understand it anyways) and they will just 'shoot' you, when you least expect it, with a KEY suggestion from their valued expertise and experience, and expect you to follow their instructions like a headless corpse. Sometimes bossy, sometimes they seem to really want to help you along the way, but you have to suck up your guts and bravely say 'no', after which they will slink away. Don't worry about hurting feelings, stick to what you know is right.They will manipulate you to feel you've done something wrong by ignoring their "advice". Work is work and end of the day, you have more positivity doing something not based on others' interfering. When advice is uncalled for, it's best to ignore.

4. 'Big Egos'

Usually men. When mistakes are made by them, they do not accept correction after countless times of others pointing it out, and even so, brushing it aside with 'oh, most people make the same mistake anyways'. May be skilled in some things, but the lack of positive learning spirit ensures he does not have the requisite skills in the others. Some make it big, and others wonder why. Of course, it's due to his smooth-talking slick efforts. (Yes life is unfair.) But time will tell if he lasts at the top. Just pray he isn't my boss. These types do take the credit for work done (others, not their own.)

Having met such creatures, I'd been of a emo-mood of late. But I shall use this positively to tackle the shark-infested waters... Also, after about 2 weeks of wallowing in the water, I realised, as all of do, at times, who's there to keep and who (in your life) you can throw away. I noticed one chinese girl who does work as hard as I do, and I have a pleasant working experience with her. In fact, I am kinder in my working terms with her too, and we had a nice sharing time, one which I will cherish.

Like me, she also chooses who to share with and who to learn from.

life as we know it

Me and The Boyfriend aka Crayon-shin-chan last sunny Saturday.

'Is that all there is, to life?' This phrase, perhaps uttered by many, throughout the years, has inspired many books, poems, movies, and life changes, like, perhaps finding meaning in taking up a new sport which helps to kill time, feel better about your body and your self, and also, stop your brain from running in all directions.

And though sometimes when all is bliss, I find myself wondering, too. Perhaps deep in our soul there is the capacity for such a question to always pop up. Sure, I do wish at times that there are more options. More shopping options...wish that I could fit into nice heels (I'm too tall, and my feet is too small, size 5, I will topple and die...But I've always wished...seen many women strutting in them...) Wish that some little things could be a bit different. That my wardrobe is bigger (size of, not quantity of) and I have more time to see more countries without having guilt trips.

I'm going to take up some activities next week which will last for until end of the year. I've always wanted to do more with my time, I have relatively more time than say, The Boyfriend, or people who have more intense Church, Family, or sports commitments. I've tried going back to hobby craft-making, but this venture seems fruitless at this point and I don't really, really enjoy it. So it's back to one thing I love, the English language. The 'magic' of the spoken word. In a way, it's an addition to my 'day job', it's a 'night job' of sorts. But I get rewarded for it. So, the days ahead are, busy, busy busy. With 3 weekdays out of the week being 'burnt', negatively, if you look at it, or positively, it's helping people in a way that they wanted: improving their command of the spoken word, or even getting them from a 'zero' to somewhere above the scale. I've always wanted to help others, and sometimes doing ministry work, the 'help' often goes unappreciated. Those people whom I've nutured and spent time with in the recent past, I wonder sometimes, do they remember, maybe they take it for granted. But oftentime, I appreciate those who are there for me, as the spiritual journey is often a solitary one.

And so, life as an attached-being... hmmm. We do meet pretty often, at least we try to, living in the same district, he tries to meet me after work and we head back to his place for dinner at times. I love his Mom's fragrant rice - I've honestly never eaten such fragrant rice, the vegetable dishes with 'hebi-hiam', the omelettes and the delectable soups, yum yum yum. And then he sends me back to my place, some times exercising downstairs, most of the time... not, just going back to rest. I think being attached, the worst fear is... what if I lose him one day? And not through say, an office affair, or some terminal illness, but more of a sudden unexpected circumstance, like a sudden heart stoppage (It is fairly common in people with slow or irregular heatbeat) or an accident. Sometimes, when he fails to sms me in the morning, I have my worst fears. And The Boyfriend also mention that if I fail to sms, he too, has similar sinking feelings of 'WHAT IFS'. Of course, our only recourse is to trust God. And we do. But still... ... I guess many know what I mean. Do I miss being single? I thought I would, but I don't, really. I felt that my past life has been too lonely. I miss having someone close to share anything with, even your small insecurities and whining about little hurtful things. And of course, having someone to take care of me when I'm sick... that is a BIG plus. I do wish I could have time to catch up with my friends more, but they all seem to understand, more than understand, I suspect some of them are actually, you know, taking a step back and letting me soak in 'the honeymoon period' as they call it. And I appreciate that, but I do miss my other friends. It's true that now my world is sooooo small, me and him and no one wants to double-date with us! Maybe soon... ... any body? =)

It's the weekend and someone blessed me with some Taka voucher, yay! So, I am going to see if I can get something later.

to begin with

Yesterday, I went to Raffles Hotel, after work, to purchase their chocolates from the chocolaterie at ThosSB inside the ground floor.

When I worked there as an intern about 7 years ago, the people were very kind to me and I could take a chocolate a day! I loved the ones of candied orange peel coated with chocolate, the tart taste of orange peel combined with the melty richness of chocolate reminded me of the happy days working there. I felt happy to be working my internship with a prestigious company like Raffles Holdings - although now the hotel is under Fairmont or something. The Boyfriend and I also love the courtyard, how nice if we can hold some party or celebration there! The chocolates have exotic-local flavors like lychee, jasmine tea, one of my favorites, the szechuan pepper... another unique flavor, which is lovely! I bought a box for The Boyfriend as a graduation gift of sorts - he had his convocation yesterday.

The person at the counter said he remembered me, remembered my face. Have I changed that little? I was in my teens when I interned there. Yet, he distinctly remembered me (though I can't!!!) Walter was really happy to see me and proud of me when I presented my namecard to him. He also told another guy who worked at the Raffles Shop, Boon Cheng, about me, and together we chatted about the various people that used to work there and where they were, now. I was so touched that he remembers. It's rare these days to find someone who can remember your face. He is one of those who remembers, and that just stirs up a warm feeling in my soul.

I've been busy. Lilo asked me recently, 'Is that all life is about?' Getting attached, married, having kids, looking after them, getting old...
Well I responded that, even if you choose the single path, sometime or other you would still have to babysit your friend's or relatives' kids, haha. Can't escape from that!
But... honestly, I've been wondering too. Life has been good to me, I can still say that. And as Chinese, I think we all have a bit of the greed/dissatisfaction inside of us.

The wanting to create something for yourself, the ambituous part. I'm not ambituous, but on the other hand, I will not work in a job which requires me to do things I don't like, either. I've been hooked on reading china netizens articles on chinasmack.com. It helps me to understand - and yet, not understand their mentality. They dump all their waste products into their famous rivers, like the 'Li River', till it is murky brown. I feel that this is a really selfish mentality. And in a country of 1 billion people, all of them are wanting to achieve more for themselves, pushing to selfish and unfriendly behavior. They don't mind being mistresses or kept women, for money. This may seem like they have no morals. But, if we have lived in poverty, each day worrying about our sustenance, might we have chosen this route as well? They all claim to lead harsh lives as farmers. But doesn't Japan or even Europe have lots of farmers, and they seem happy? I feel that being happy is a choice. Sure, the weather here is horrid, but we are not freezing to death...

Definitely, being exposed to the retail environment here, the shopping-mentality still overtakes us. If say we live in Malaysia, I don't think we have so many choices, thus, we will be happier and more satisfied with the things we buy. Especially if it takes us 2 hours to reach the nearest shopping centre... ... and we can only shop once a month due to our limited budget. But in Singapore, it seems like no matter how much you earn, it is never enough...

I've been teaching tuition this month for English O'levels, I do enjoy it though it gets rather tedious and tiring... I'm going to see if I am able to teach English for a class next month round, night classes and this brings me quite a substantial income. I want to pay off all my debts and buy things like a digital camera, new handphone... all those things which we think we need in this consumerist society. Too many people laughing at my dinosaur handphone... ...So I hope this all turns out well, I shall be the most hardworking person in town.

some observations about life

Was out walking around in Gardens last week when I spotted this nice big Golden Retriever. Hee hee. It likes to take photos I think... or maybe I am just good with dogs.

My flower bloomed after the rain! I bought this small pot after filming at World Nursery.

Morning at Botanic Gardens. Really nice! Wasn't slacking, was waiting for my filming to start.

I wanted to choose a Capitaland mall location for one of my next filmings, so I went to their website to have a look – the CEO I know is now working for another place, so I clicked on their ‘board of directors’ panel, just to confirm.

While scanning through half-disinterestedly at their profiles, I realized one thing: that all of them had a minimal qualification of first –class honors degree. The rest had Masters’.  Which made me think a little because I had a conversation with Lilo over blueberry pancakes the other day and she wanted to study. As she knew that in SG it’s not easy to get into top management without a Masters’.

While eating the blueberry pancake, I imagine myself making it for Mr A... haha! Face by Marjorca Majolica. I have a bad habit of using one brand's complete makeup instead of here and there... anyways, it does suit me. 

I’m usually not so keen on encouraging people to study because I’m not the ‘tak che’ type… but I’ve always felt that if you can study, go ahead! Although I belong to the ‘first-class’ group I can’t say that it has opened a lot of doors for me. Which begs the question whether those on the board belong on the board in the first place because they are preternaturally intelligent, or just because their elite standing has made life easier for them? Or maybe there was a special first-class club that I have yet to join… (Or form one myself! I am inviting Clone’s husband and Penelope’s husband to be)

Just a random thought here. I actually hated studying. It was by the grace of God that my marks got moderated upwards – truly a miracle, have you ever heard of grades moderated upwards?

Still, I’m glad to have a degree qualification although I like to pretend I don’t. Although I’m not so sure now if I’d be like my parents who encouraged us kids to do whatever we felt like doing. On hindsight perhaps if my parents had the foresight to give me  some Chinese enrichment classes, I’d probably be a lawyer, or a doctor… ah, was never career-minded anyways.

My idea of life is to have a nice little house with a lake or a pond or at least some sort of water feature… and a tall, dark, handsome guy who is kind enough to drive me to the supermarket every few days. And a dog. And some kids in future.

But I don’t mind contributing my first-class ideas to a board if I get $8mil in bonus…

And speaking about tall, dark, handsome guys…

I was filming here with a Mediacorp Veteran. Maybe you will remember his role as Irin Gan's boyfriend in 'Growing Up'. Was quite enthused to act with someone with real acting skills.

Acted this love scene where I had to look into his eyes, smile sweetly/stupidly, and dance hand in hand around Botanic Gardens.

Well... 

I was thinking about Mr A (otherwise no chemistry with Gary) when we were on camera. Thinking about Mr A does give me a misty glow, I hope... ... Can I say it like, 

'There wasn't a single day that I could stop thinking about you...' 

Although I will never admit it to Mr A, never, and, what if he turns out to be someone like Kie?

This veteran has nice hands for holding... ...

LOL!!!

photo talk

Mom's into cooking gourmet food recently. I am so thrilled to come back home for dinner now! My family's into organic cooking so mostly, the food can be rather bland...and rather meatless. Which also explains why I eat a lot of fast food outside. (Hee... MOS Burger just opened at China St!)

This was one dinner last week - Spaghetti in cream sauce with portobello mushroom and broccoli, with cod.
Last Friday's breakfast - pita bread pan-grilled with egg and cheese, with veal sausage, rocket lettuce, alfalfa, peppers and other salads. Best, Mom informed me that one sausage costs $5 on average - I nearly choked on it. That is only for the small part of the dish? It's organic and hand-made sausage... which can be found at AMK Hub NTUC...tastes quite nice though.
Some Korean strawberries, Thomson grapes, milo, tumeric fried rice - I wouldn't call this a typical Chinese Singaporean breakfast on Sunday... I think the rice is cooked in Thai style?

Thanks to the Asian Food Network, Mom has been constantly tuning in to Gordon Ramsay, Jamie's Kitchen, Chef at Home and others. Hee...thanks to that, I get my tastebuds whetted with food - also can save money, so I rarely eat out for dinnertime now.

Dinner on Monday.

Organic spaghetti (explains the greenish tone), aglio olio; with salmon. Heh! Who wants to marry me!!! Gourmet cooking runs in my genes ok!

Me, am quickly being expert at baking stuffs. My last attempt was cheesecake...which tastes better than it looks, it looked like a cheese lump. But I am satisfied with the taste, and it's not that time-consuming to make.

The best review of the cheese lump came from my bro, who said 'it was the best cheesecake he ever tasted' , awww! Pianist also said that it tastes better than any of the commercially-made cheesecakes out there. 

Baking is an expensive hobby though - I am happy with my new whisk from Sia Huat. Next time my husband gotta buy me Kitchenaid, hee hee hee... then he will be fattened up from my experimentations.

Next up, orange ice-cream with raspberry mascarpone thingy which I haven't decided to make into a tart or a cake. Inspired by the books I reviewed from Harris, well well... cooking books are expensive too. (Like $70 bucks ?!) I need to wait for next paycheck, hee hee. 

Mom also likes Adam Lambert and was blown away by his performance last night... She couldn't stop talking about him. He looks like a cross between Elvis Presley with the soulful blue eyes, and he has Leonardo DiCaprio's mischevious, lovable smile. Adam Lambert! Hope he wins.

=

Just spent the last two hours cleaning up the clutter on my Office's table and redecorating my wall. Got a new phone (low-res though, only 2 m.pixels) so documented it. Here,

My wall - at around 4 pm. Heehee. My collection of postcards are nicely hooked on the left hand side. The sakura on the wall is customizable IKEA stickers.

After: my wall panel is now decorated with pages of a fashion catalog I got from Style:Nordic (walking distance) - well, hope it inspires me to dress well. I have lots of clothes but when I'm in a slackerish mode, tend to dress dowdily. 
Ironman decides to guard my MacBook's wire...

I bought this green round rug from IKEA - it wasn't expensive. I like to work/walk around the office barefooted, feels more relaxed this way. And the wood floor is nice to walk on, also. I put a cardboard box on the floor to hold my bag. And there's another chair facing me for guests - if not, it just acts as a coat and scarf hanger...
My phone, plant, hello kitty which is a coinbank, and miniature dustbin which is used to store pens. Heh... a welcome sight at the end of the day when the laptop is closed!
Mom's plant at my other window. I love my windows - they're black and shophouse-kind; rectangularish, with gold knobs. I've always wanted to live in a shophouse when I was younger and more idealistic. Now, I think it's great if I could move in with my in-laws and don't buy a property until I could afford a condo, perhaps when me and my husband are both in our early 30s, hee hee hee...

 
My usb ports (green desk thingy also from IKEA, not that I like green, it was just a better alternative.) I actually need more ports - this is the bare minimum I function with... 
And I have the best view - this is my respite from work - I can see many angmoh tourists everyday visiting this temple, now repainting... and walking through Pagoda Street - a famous tourist spot in Singapore, to the train, I couldn't be happier.

going to the movies

There's a thingy going on where you can catch Singapore films at Cathay Cineleisure. Sad to say, I've never really caught many Singaporean films. In fact, I was a hollywood-kinda girl all throughout my teens, being entertained with teen horror flicks most of the time. Remember the Final Destinations and the Urban Legends... ...I also caught most of John Grisham's books that were turned into movies. The best of that genre was 'What Lies Beneath' which was the only one which scared me from beginning to end.

Later on, probably due to the much-improved subtitling for chinese shows, I found gems in HongKong productions like 'Golden Chicken', and slapstick styled shows like...the mahjong ones and Stephen Chow, of course. There was also a craze in time where Thai shows were all the rage and through watching their shows we could catch a bit of their life and times. Thai shows usually had a bit of horror, with human drama interspersed in them. Thai movies are quite deep that way - at first it seems to be just about the scary feeling, but later you realise... the overarching theme is about family love, or friendship, or some issue.

I also caught many Japanese and some Korean movies - those days, all the Japanese ones were post- 'The Ring' so those that made it to our shows were horror genre types - and Korean shows ultimately involved cyborgs or bio-terrorism warfare. French films were always interesting - my favorite of all time are those by director Jean Pierre Jeunet ('The City of Lost Children', wow!) - unfortunately, no one seems to want to take the risk of showing foreign films here - cannot even get the DVD.

One of the...only...Singaporean film I caught (not counting Jack Neo's shows and the recent 'Wedding Game' Oh wait, I watched Royston Tan's one too)...was 'Leap Years' - Captain Zero dragged me to it! I was reluctant at first, because... I think I am the only one in the nation who has... read the book. Honestly, have you heard of the book before watching the show? But yes - although not really a fan of Catherine Lim, once I've found a good author, I NEED to read the rest of his/her stuff. The book was unexpectedly bad... but the movie, unexpectedly good!

I've read 90% of Agatha Christie books - or at least what is available here... most of John Grisham's and Amy Tan's. Jostein Gaarder's good too. Loved 'Sophie's World' but hated 'Vita Brevis'.

My current obsessions are Nicholas Sparks'; am swiftly building up my collection... and my favorite christian authors so far, John Ortberg and Eldredge. (Both Alkitab and Pianist had good reviews after reading their birthday presents which were Eldredge books! Am so happy to 'convert' them too haha!)

Christopher Paolini's 'Brisingr' was so good (I actually bought it because I read about him being homeschooled in 'microtrends' AND the cover was so nice, I like dragons) that I borrowed 'Eragon' and 'Eldest' from Dree. (And I've also finished reading 'Confessions of a Shopaholic' and 'Slumdog Millionaire' this, and last week. Haha.) I'm wacky like that. Now that there are so many books turned into movies and suddenly available at your nearest bookstore, I'm tempted to start a collection. Heh. Bookshelf + DVD shelf?

Back to Singapore films, I guess it's quite sad when you're a renowned filmmaker like Eric Khoo...he is always being interviewed on news and stuff... but no one has watched your films. Well, some people have... but, not many for sure...

Suddenly I am reminded of how blessed I am, without realizing - all my productions will be on a platform which will have... more than 6 million viewers in a year. (If everything goes smoothly!)

Sure, maybe most of them are doctors talking about boring stuff. And no one will know I produced 90% of the content (Although I appear as calefare in most of them, sigh.)

But I don't need them to know my name. I'm also blessed that my audience is not so critical since most of them are 'killing time' watching the screen, waiting for their patient queue number to be called.

So perhaps, in a way I'm so much more blessed than the other filmmakers out there! I was overwhelmed just thinking about that, today. 6 million viewers! Wow!

And that... I should also make an effort to catch more Singapore films.