lookalikes combo - BACK! By popular demand

One of the most surprising things about the World Cup is that we discovered a North Korean player that seems separated at birth from TheBoyfriend. Hmm... should we say about 98% similarity?


PRESENTING LOOKALIKES! Jeng jeng jeng!
Back by popular demand, here are the quiet celebrities in our midst. Heehee.

Please don't take offense if your genetic combination resemble any animals... ... you are still beautiful in God's sight...

Our resident bachelor who always manages to turn heads in The Church, Jelly. He's a good friend, good guy!

Some gals told me that Jelly looks like... Tay Ping Hui!


When did Tay Ping Hui act in a period drama??




Buay tahan, both also like to pose for the camera...

There are other guys in The Church who look like celebrities!
Jonas Brothers?
Stephen Chow?
David Cook?

Yes! Yes! Yes!

(the one on the right)




See...

[R], on the right...

This fellow.... of late, a stunning crooner and 'hardworking' boy:



May consider being a famous actor and Producer in the future?

Woo, did David Cook walk past me?

David Cook lookalike (must use a bit of imagination)






Can't see the resemblance?
Let's take a closer look...





Exactly like David Cook style on his album cover.


He sings, well too.

Clone's brother who looks like Kim Rae Won! Hot hot hot HOTNESS!Last seen on a cooking show at 11 pm (Channel U?)

Sorry girls, he's taken and in Malaysia...

Well, people have commented that I do look like a celebrity too... in certain angles...

Presenting to you my Rui-En pose...I also have a dimple...

Or maybe after some thick makeup application, can pass for 'Little S', Barbie Hsu's sister.
TMNT was our childhood favorite... the show and the toy. Everyone in my era was well acquainted with the four 'mutant turtles' and we all respect the great 'Master Splinter'.

Guess who?

It's Kie.

If you look deeply into his eyes... somehow, you feel like it's looking at Master Splinter!
Now over to the local scene...

The famous or infamous pastor from City Harvest, Sun Ho...And guess what, at the next table, we have Architect looking like a dead ringer for Kong Hee, her husband!

We have both Pastors in our circle of friends, how cool is that!!!

On the ground scene, I spotted a guy who looks like a younger, thinner, Pastor Bryan.

Oh yes, he said jokingly that he can 'takeover' if Pastor Bryan is taken ill. Bad boy...

But I think our favorite lookalike has to be...

Master Splinter.

baked

Spiritedly is dreaming up gingerbread men and heart shaped choux dipped in fudge.

Baked some organic cookies - oatbran and nuts yesterday. They still smell great... one of the perks of baking is that the smell lingers on in your dreams, if you happen not to change clothes. Haha!

Well I only have the mood for baking/creating stuff like chocolate fudgey marshmallows during Christmastime. Somehow, it's the season. But due to the china embargo on lots of products, I can't find most of the ingredients I need or prefer, thereby sticking to ready-made or organic products. Heck, I can't even find good chocolate to make the fudge... No fudge no fun.

I was working today with an acquaintance from The Church - he is in the same field as Zero - after the project, he shared to me over Mos iced milk tea, some parts about his life that made me feel...WOW, everyone has some sad event or story in their life, too. He is a handsome guy, model, and looks fresh-faced, like hardly anything difficult has gone his way. But he stopped schooling and signed on in the army to pay for his family's Hdb after his dad went bankrupt, and now, is approaching the 10th year of being a regular. He said that he had to pay 1K a month, every month... wow, I thought that if I had to face such turmoils and debts, it would definitely overwhelm me. He also paid for his younger brothers' education...

Sigh! What a man! Where can I find this kind of man!

He said that throughout his life, he had many 'opportunities' to be depressed, and this was one of them, but he pulled through eventually. I think that if I feel that I will ever slip into the danger mode of being depressed again, Signaler's story will actually help to shape my thinking.

Am grateful to have met him, meeting so many people in my work has helped me to shape my perspective on life. Sometimes, I meet people who are... @#$%!%... truly, the only want to use you to their own advantage, or are too...overbearing, or their scheming and conniving mentality just disappoints you.

But meeting people like Signaler always brightens me up. I think there is no clear answer to why some people turn out the way they do. Why some people remember the past with fear and bitterness, why others can seemingly forget and see the past as a happy experience, on the whole.

I guess along the way I've met so many people with such a positive attitude despite their shortcomings and unhappy experiences that I've learnt to be more magnanimous.

I think that there is no point to be upset, or angry at anyone for a prolonged period of time, no matter what they have done or how much hurt they have caused you. It's not easy to go through the tough times but I hope I can withstand it, and remain positive, when tougher times come.

focused

Be magnanimous in victory, gracious in defeat.


People I eat with... LOL!!!


Update: Tomorrow heralds the start of the second half of the year - Time flies!
I'm going to make it my 'buy-nothing month', and try really hard not to buy anything other than the necessary, save for my weekend trip to KL which I'd probably be too busy anyways, and stuff that run out like cleansers or...medicine. So I'd have to postpone my handphone buy to August (which I suspect there are better deals anyways and I'm still undecided about my brand and function preference) haha. I wonder how much I'd save? No movies either. There's always watch-movies.net!!!



Being an extrovert, sometimes one can't help but focus on the external - the people around us, and the situations or the mess we're in and that somehow gets me down most of the time, even if it's for a little while.

Especially when it comes to 'dealing with difficult people' - I haven't had that for quite a while now, so it just sort of splits me (tear, or break apart) to see people misbehaving in a manner which ultimately, can set off a spiral of events or bad feelings that affects more people than, say, just me. Ie, making bad decisions, or unable to make decisions... yes, there are people who are like that. And I just realized that it's not because I'm in the picture, they'd probably do so to everyone because it's in their inherent nature, and I guess the reason why they can't seem to do better is because they, like almost everyone else, are afraid of change.

And these people throw me off balance for a while. Not only do I feel discouraged - and that's a small thing really, generally try not to let negative insensitivities distract me, but I just wish that some people would be a little more intelligent and not affect those around them, or realize their effect on the people around them and realize how easy it is, to change!

Chestnut seems to have his rants too on the same matter (Funny when different people are affected by similar things.) Case in point which he emailed me about - he's sailing:

'I realised that I have difficulty relating to people when I can't make out their emotional state, which I realised by working with my second engineer. On the whole he's an affable, jolly sort of fellow, but sometimes when I talk to him; his taciturn replies seem to imply that he's not happy with me. Then half an hour later he's all back to his normal jokes again. So whenever that happens, I realise that I get worked up cause I don't know how to react. It's almost as if his capriciousness 'messes up my system.' It's probably also cause I don't like conflict, so if it's present - or if I feel it present - I become uncomfortable and agitated.'

Similarly, I do get quite upset for a few hours by people I shouldn't even bother with... Oh well. Ches says that in these times you discover your true character, and I think that when things aren't going well for you, you begin to treasure the good times and the good people you must, but forget to thank God for placing in your life and having them around every single day.

I realise also that at times when you're too emotional you tend to make shmucky decisions. It's like the focus is gone and you're just worried about what people are thinking or what's going on and usually the decision won't turn out well. Also, when you're too unemotional, you don't have the mood to make ANY decision. Haha. I guess a good decision making comes partly from being concerned about what the people around you will think - if you're totally unaffected it might not be such a good thing - but not too much, too much concern will paralyze you I think. And also, just deciding sometimes is better than letting other people decide for you, or just letting it hang in the balance. People will respect you if you make a decision, even if it turns out not to be optimal, rather than not making one at all. Because if you feel for something, if you stand for something, if you believe in something so badly that nothing's going to stop you, do something about it.

hibernate!

starting to think again...

My cerebral matter is calibrated to optimal...functioning. Woowee. I've started to speak proper English and think in obscure words again!

Just had a deep thought today about God.
I wonder if, it was true that God placed everyone in our lives for a reason, all the idiots, the irritating people... HA.

Imagine, your acquaintance of 4 years back is your best friend now. Or your biz network chap you meet up once in a while for tea to try to sell something to, eventually introduces you to your boss. Is it really true that everyone, every single person is placed into our lives for a reason... and that reason is perhaps 'for God to know and for you to find out.'

While thinking about that I wanted to re-emphasize to my just-out of hibernation cerebral matter that I had a few values, hopefully, namely

- to treat all persons with respect, even though some may seem stupid and irritating,(okay, I am actually EASILY irritated, tsk tsk) but respect them, and I believe I can learn something from them.
-not do something for my own self-satisfying purposes that would intentionally harm or hurt another person.

Hopefully my brain is more powerful than, errr, my body... ...

I also realised, with a jolt, that sometime ago the goodly (yes this word does exist go check it out at www.dictionary.com: goodly, goodlier, goodliest...!) side of me wrote that one of the things I wanted to accomplish was to "help (a friend, someone!) to startup biz" and unknowingly am doing so in a way that I hope will at least generate some good publicity for him. Doing what I do best. It came as a jolt to me because at times I am carried away with the daily grind that I forget, my once lofty aspirations, of helping people get closer to God and earn a lot of money... (There are some.) Haha, weird as it is, I'm starting to realise that's a calling of sorts. Wait a few years and their 'returns' will be more than six figures and their spiritual returns perhaps even more! I'm glad to be of help. Can someone help me too? Lol!

So that is what I'm glad for today. Some days may be bad days but we all have our goodly aspirations to fall back on. Smile! It makes you look sexy.

overzealous

Things said at my Office everyday could be turned into a script for some sitcom...

Overheard, at MY Office:

Yesterday:
Lady colleague: Boss, are you free?
Boss: No, I'm $50 per hour.
...

Last week:
Same lady colleague(talking to guy intern while turning up the aircon): Hey, are you hot?
Me (sarcastic):No, he's not!

*Hoots*

Boss(while talking about the space in the office): I'd just let them (new interns) have my table then I can go sit...
Me: You can have the space under my table! (I use it to store all my barang)
Boss: Yeah! Then you can kick me while you're working.
Me: ...

Me(trying to slot in a meeting): When is a good time to have a meeting, Boss?
Boss: Next time we will launch an application where we can see each other's schedule and then we can just key in the meetings.
Me:...Eh, you didn't answer my question!

*Hoots*

It's actually really funny when this happens to you in real life.

==

I've got lots of things to write about actually as things have been happening and happening and I feel so - out of touch, out of place. I've been having cluster headaches almost everyday for two weeks now, and I just have this perpetually dreamy feeling throughout the days I am plagued by it. Don't really like to dwell on the bad stuff, but sometimes it's just a sad process of growing up when the responses from people you thought might care just makes you feel worse. I've been guilty of it too, when Captain Zero catches me on a bad day I just bite his head off, only to feel that later on, 'I shouldn't have.' The sadder part is, most people fail to realize that about themselves, perhaps only much later when it is too late for redemption.

And then you realize that... the people that really care are really few.

Anyways! Things are looking up. No more headaches, really happy at work and play.

I mentioned to a friend that,

'Sometimes you know in your heart what you need to do but you... don't do.
Or the things you know you have to work out... but neglect to do it till something happens.' I just said it without thinking much about it and then later on realised that that contained deep nuggets of thoughts. Been highly encouraged by many well meaning friends, mostly older than me, to 'confess' to TBO. Or rather, 'hint' to him. Hehe. I will, soon. I mean, I'm just enjoying the sweet moments that we share and don't want to ask for anything more right now.

I also like the way how some friendships turned out. Me, Captain and PS Chua was just lounging about the other day at the park near my place. Some parks are creepy, you just don't want to hang around for too long, or just too isolated. For my place, there are old people walking their dogs, teenagers, decent people who are just exercising and sitting down and chatting that makes it a very positive ambience. On weekends you can sit down and read a book sitting on the bench in the shade, while hunks and marrieds play soccer in the background. It's too positive at times though, sometimes we hang there and talk and talk until the wee hours. Which is what we did!

I was kind of saddened by the way I was linked to Captain and described as 'someone who once had feelings for him' - more scandalously - 'while he was STILL attached!' Sigh. I guess there are some people in church who will not stop at anything to get what they want. Don't they realise that they should choose to believe in something more positive, and also, verify the facts. I am rational that way - if someone told me something like this about a person I hardly knew, I would want hard facts, like maybe a steamy letter of confession? That should do the trick. But herein lies the most interesting, and logical (to me) conclusion: that that someone is not targeting me, but, rather, Captain Zero. In a way, it's also quite stupid. Because I would do something more positive. Like befriend me, add me to facebook and then slowly, get on our good books. I can't imagine why people would want to antagonize me, his best friend. So he has to make a hard decision? And guess what, if he chooses to forsake me, it tells about the depth(shallowness) of his character (and that our friendship is not worth anything anyways.) So I don't think Captain will forsake me (as he promised me not to but I am a skeptic at heart)... but this situation can be avoided easily, it's just that some people prefer to do things in this stupid way, for their whole lives. I can easily see why people fall into this trap. But I'd rather not. Sometimes things can get political especially when people know that I have a certain level of influence within certain circles. But honestly, I only instigate people to do positive things within reason. And I would never ask my friends to forsake another, nor force them to be unable to attend cell, or to be put in a position which they will be forced to do something they don't want to do.

It's just not right.

thinker at work

Interesting photos to think about for more than 5 seconds.
http://thingsihavelearnedinmylife.com/sentence/photography/love-can-make-me-unreasonable

Well. Had quite an interesting day today. 4 meetings. All interesting. Caught up with Rich Dad for the last one, a UK guy with really nice pale blue eyes, and a stunning Texan videographer, and a government association. All in my network. It's actually quite easy for me to call people up and they want to meet me, and it's so easy to get those meetings with them. I call it the favor of God because I honestly have no skill in calling. I'm still not used to being seated at the computer at The New Office, so when I can, I arrange for meetings. Which means my 'paperwork' gets pushed back. The stickynotes app is filled up with things I can't remember wanting to get done, and I have a passport photo of the Texan videographer because I told him I wanted a profile of him (in case I forget about him.)

And I'm typing reports and designing stuff and loving every minute of it.
It's the kind of career I've always wanted just that there isn't a way of getting it unless you know the right people.

And knowing the right God is imperative.

I've realised that I can 'size people up' pretty quickly now that I meet so darn many people in my career.

Not that I do it intentionally.

It's just the thinker, analytical part of me which kicks in and just goes to myself, 'hmmm, he is really a smart person'... or 'hmmm, they really like us...' And being a thinker has its plus points in work, although not dominant thinkers. I was chatting with Dad last night and we agreed that #1: choleric types/dominant people who just like to boss others around, even ministry-wise, have few friends, and their lives are quite sad... presumabably because they have few people who really love them and can tolerate them. #2: In today's knowledge based economy, people are not really hired for their skills (At least for me, I know I can train people to be as good if not better than me) and so, soft skills is just as important if not more, than the ability to get work done. Few would agree but I guess this is the way work works now, and it has worked well for me. I can be quite dominant with my self, at work, to myself, but to others I'm really soft, chatty, easygoing (at least I hope so.)

Thinkers at work also benefit because we don't feel too much, like this is not our cup of tea and thus find it easier to get over the psychological barrier that feelers have, we just do it. There are things I'd prefer to delegate all the time, but I guess the masochistic side of me wants to experience life in its totality, so I challenge myself to meet people I'm not familiar with though I'd rather not, call strangers and chat and try to sell something, though I don't like sales, I just do it. And it turns out not to be a bad thing after all. Because life is meant to be lived in living color and no matter what, I feel that we should be open to new opportunities and challenges daily. That's how we grow, that's how we become better managers, wiser parents, more understanding lovers, and share what we learn with the people we meet along the way.

"Spirituality" wrongly understood or pursued is a major source of human misery and rebellion against God. -Dallas Willard.

Yay!
Started on my new John Ortberg book "The Life You've Always Wanted - spiritual disciplines for ordinary people". It will definitely help me in growing in a new season.

Was glad Zero joined us for Watchnight, his presence really helps me in an intangible way, just by playfully teasing each other, it helps me to take my mind off the depressing stuff. Right now I try not to think about it but sometimes it gets to me, the vindictive thoughts. Did I pray for a stronger character? This definitely helps to shape mine... haha. But am glad for Zero's presence. In these uncertainties his all-too familiar voice (we do spend hours singing to God) seems like an unshakeable hope, something my weary and frightened soul can cling on to.

But it seems that other people have seen our closeness and associate it with a romantic allusion.

Seems like that's the inevitable curse for being super-cute. (Him, not me.)

Actually, such thinkings/gossipings do get me perturbed initially. I mean, we are of marriageable age but the first instance Zero came to church, he is asked about his alliance with me, as though, we have announced that we are in a relationship, or worse, an underground one.

But I don't mind being associated with him. Of course our friends joke about it! But it seems disturbing that people who hardly know us also assume so, and just in one night. Then again, maybe this is a taste for me, of being 'high-profile' in church again. After keeping a low one for 2 years. I don't really like it. You have to have a 'face' to people and I feel so self-concious in all I do, even my behavior in the toilet... ... it's a hard task to face being 'super-cute' and having to deal with the attention of young and nubile lassies and immature people who say what they say without even thinking of whether that is christian-like, or even hurtful...

That is why I care about Zero.

And maybe this is a way for me to learn how to communicate with people, as I'd eventually attain a certain amount of 'high-profileness' in my job, and also, deal with many different sorts of people. An interesting answer to prayer.

I like the way this friendship turns out to be.
So thank you God for putting Zero in my life.

Living with the Muff

You Say it's easy
But who's to say,
That we'd be able to keep it this way.

- Bryan Adams, Straight from the Heart.

Some deep lines. Paradoxical, actually. The "but who's to say" actually refers to "whether we are able to keep it this way", rather than referring to "you saying it's easy."

A moody post.

But anyways, thought this line meaningful especially in light of me and Muffin's recent 'lowdowns'. Or showdowns. I've been perfectly upset. Honestly. And it's not often someone can make cheery me feel that way. After all, it's just a friendship between two people and friendships are supposed to make you feel good (not all the time, ya) but I mean, who is so sadist to keep going out with a friend who is... 'not nice at all'?

I guess at certain junctures, a platonic (I hate that word) friendship between a man and a woman has gotta question itself, just because it's generally not accepted, either in the minds of those around them, or in their own minds. We are close it's true. But in my opinion, not close enough to warrant alarm bells going off. Maybe, as I told him, that he is closer to me than I him. You can have a close physical relationship but maybe not so much, in thoughts. I suppose because of my previous experiences, I find it hard to connect totally and share what's on my mind. Really, this is something I've been working on but I do share almost everything with Muffin.

It takes a lifetime to know me, and the past week has been pretty trying because of the supposedly appropriate boundaries we are supposed to have. That's where me and Muffin are on diverse tangents. I always tell him, 'to be yourself with me, what's the point of having a friendship if we are not ourselves?' And just to do what he likes, and be happy. Generally, I am very content to be in places of non-conflict. That is why I am perturbed that each time we meet, within minutes, a disagreement will take place. And I was sad about that, too. I guess it's his way of guarding me and him, and in light of certain explanations, I'm thankful for that, for having a friend who really cares about what people think if they see us walking slowly in a picturesque place like One Fullerton, gazing at the stars together. Either way, I don't really care what people think. Maybe my attitude is wrong, and we should have a bit of both, but this way, I'm totally open, limitless, free, and this helps me to be the leader I am today.

I don't understand his reasoning, really. For making me walk faster because it's too couple-y to walk slowly in picturesque places. I'm tired out from a day's worth of walking, going to sales calls and the last thing I want to do after work is to rush from place to place. (He apologized after I brought it up, which was sweet.) But I really really don't understand! I mean, I won't like him just because we are walking slowly. Conjecturally, if I like him, I would like him whether or not we are walking fast or slow...and erm, I just don't understand. (Anyways we have agreed to walk slowly from now on, whether or not it seems couple-y. Because if he's going to tell me 'can you walk faster?' in a domineering and mean voice again, his head will meet my shoe.)

One of the strongest reasons why people like each other anyways is because they see themselves in each other, and they also see a part of the other person that complements them. I'm talking about mature people here, not emotional wrecks who seem to like people every other two weeks or so. There are many people I like in this world because of certain qualities they have, but definitely not because of setting the appropriate boundaries, either way. When I realised that Muffin was being mean to me intentionally in case I get emotionally attached to him... sigh. I really don't know what to say. That I'm already emotionally attached, anyways? Or why are you afraid of it? Why not embrace it?

After all, other people cherish deep friendships and look at ours and wish they could have what we have.

I wanted to give up a little and actually not continue meeting Muffin because he is so 'not nice' the last week. It's too trying for me, having to deal with all sorts of people daily and then another one when you are off-work. Sometimes when we disagree I just 'drift off' and remain silent. It's my withdrawal survival mode. I feel sad when we argue. So I keep quiet and actually my mind drifts off to a faraway place. It's wrong, I know. I should be fully present. Not going on space trips like this. But he should also not just jump at me at the smallest detail I am misinformed about.

In the first place, you like each other, that is why you are friends. Right?
And if you are scared that your friend will like you, why don't you pray for her not to?

Sob!

inadvertently

Reasoning, inadvertently.

It's the 'take two hands to clap' theory.
I had an insightful week, to say the least. Misconstrued notions and such. Sometimes the metaphysical aligns to the spiritual that both forms perfect symmetry. How do you react to certain people, and what is their reaction to you?

Sometimes people get on my nerves and I snap at them, like a snapping animal that has been over poked, over provoked. I don't take kindly to people who say meaningless things, especially those whom are not even friends, so, please control yourself before I snap. When people insult others, and do the same again and again, there is something fundamentally wrong with them. Maybe it reflects a certain insecurity in their character and self confidence that requires them to put others down to feel good about themselves. Maybe this trait runs strong in individuals with 'High X' profiling, more so than any other. If I were a wee simpler, I guess I'd be much happier not exerting my brain over such things. I'd just accept them for who they are and ignore the caustic ones. But I tend to analyze.

There are always many reasons for people saying things. You can't attribute it to just a single reason.

Maybe, some people enjoy being sarcastic because it gives them a fierce persona. Maybe, some enjoy keeping animals because they want to be seen as benevolent. Or helping the poor. Etc. As always, I question the reasoning behind the action. You can be all things to all men, it can be good. But it also can be bad if your reason is that you are ambitious and want to 'lose' your way to the top. I mean, losing yourself in the process. You may think that the last runner in a race is a definite loser. But you may not think that way if he is running on two artificial limbs... or if it is a marathon, and she did not win the race; but she ran - while three months pregnant with her first child. (True story, my colleague's daughter did that.) They are winners in their own right, just that measured by the world's standards, they fall short. If you do things out of duty than of love for the people, then I think it's not worth doing at all.

==

This phrase "The joy of the Lord shall be your strength" kept running through my head yesterday. I mean, I don't usually get such wongwong messages like this. I just wondered what it meant, was I supposed to tell someone and then someone would just be so touched by it? So I just told the ones I was close with, and prayed for it for the cell, during post service. But the next day it felt like it was, still 'there', so I smsed some people. It's quite a general term, don't you think? Yet I felt that somehow it was meant to be said for a purpose or something. Ah well. Someday someone somewhere will tell me, I hope. =)

Heard from Hans recently that Zero, our handsome friend, has not been coming to church or cell. Felt quite sad when I heard that. Zero actually brought Hans to church. Was close to Zero once upon a time - well close enough to share about spiritual stuff, chat on the phone, about the people we liked, and our destinies in God. I'm determined not to let him go that way, it just seems like a waste. Plus, handsome guys are always welcome in The Church, haha! Well, because of the fond memories I have, and the nice gentlemanly way he treated me (too nice, I prefer to be shoved around at times aye) sometimes, I can't forget those people who are nice to me. I end up liking them too much, but when I move on from the friendship, and when I meet them again, I have an irresistable longing to have that sort of bond again. Though, we've all grown up since then and have had a couple of relationships and graduated from school as well - but I hope he is still the same, nice, gentlemanly, pukingfyingly romantic white knight on shining armor type of guy that I once met, knew, and liked. Zero, I hope your life experiences, no matter how bitter they are, would not have taken away the person who is inside, and the Jesus that is inside. Shine, Jesus shine. I'm praying for a chance - a divine appointment, to meet him. And even though he does not want to be in contact with all the people in his ministry anymore, I hope he will still remember me, his friend from ages ago.

==

I crossed the 'suaning boundary', inadvertently. Oops.
And I was quite amused at one of the 'top 5 things we can work on' (to improve ourselves) - we have a similar one. Haha! Aye, Muffin and I tend to be 'insensitive to others at times'. and maybe slightly oversensitive to our own emotions, that is why such inadvertent crossings occur. It's not my intention to hurt anyone, by words, actions or attitudes, which I have done before. So boundaries are there for a reason. To make life more purposeful and relationships more joyful! So yes, you are stubborn and irritating too... but I am also intrigued by that! Because it's a mirror of me. Not all is doom and gloom though, it's really amusing to see your flaws manifested in someone that does a good impersonation of yourself. I'm glad at the way we can talk through things. I'm glad at the way we can talk about anything
(well, most things.) So maybe I was looking for a friend, like you.

Plus it was fun to be in cahoots to bully Elk. =)

Morning Rush

"Happy people make others happy."
-Anne Frank

Was caught in today's morning rush-hour for once. Oh my...Everyone seemed to be dashing about frantically, not even waiting for the escalator to bring them up safely to their destinations. They hurry up the steps by walking in such rapid pace, that I thought their shoes must be made of a superior material to withstand such pounding, heavy actions. I guess they have got used to it. Me, I am amazed, at not being able to even move my arms around in the MRT, as everyone going to work packed in, literally like a 'tube' of sardines, herrings, tuna...

After meeting my client at 9am (collected another cheque, yay!)...I reached Raffles Place at 9:10...And I had nothing to do. Basically since my office only opens at 9:30, sometimes 9:45, depending on how fast the receptionist can walk in the rain. Not daring to risk it, I found a nice sheltered spot below Caltex House, and ordered a cup of tea. Takeaway? No, I'm having it here, I said to the auntie.

It seems such a luxury to just sip tea without having to look at the time, and watching busy executives take the lift to their offices. Having the insight that I might be hungry I also brought along with me a Japanese curry donut and milk bun from Sun Moulin, bought yesterday.

Having finished that I still had time to kill (Now I know why I don't bother waking up till 8!) and thus started on some paperwork. I'm sure the guy at the next table eating his beehoon breakfast wondered why on earth I did not bring it back to the office to do it... But it was a nice place actually, sort of reminded me of schooldays when I used to do homework at McDs and sometimes, CoffeeBean or sometimes not doing it at all. So the next morning, I would copy faster than a photocopy machine from my classmates. Needless to say, I failed those subjects every time!

So I think the base instinct from those rapid-copying days kicked in, today. I was doing my other paperwork (I haven't sorted it out since last year - not a paperwork person...) in such a 'hurry' that I actually got out of breath, and finished 1 year plus of filing in record time. Yeah! Even have time to shop at the 70% off GG5 sale (Bought work clothes!)

Thought of coming to work early tomorrow too... If I can wake up. It does seem so much more productive than working late. I do enjoy the morning dew smell, but not the tuna train ride. When boarding the train, my leg hair almost got burnt off by someone's hot soup/porridge (I didn't look, so I had no idea what was it) breakfast. Every little jerk the train took, the packet of hot soup would inevitably bump into my leg. Singe. I tried to look discreetly at the lady, but in my mind I wanted to say loudly, Hey...your breakfast is boiling my leg hair off. Haha! In the end, I guess she realised and held it on the other side, to burn some other passenger's trousers.

I guess every other day is the same; morning-rush like this. I'm glad I don't have to face it everyday. =)

====

Am putting starting touches to a short romance story. I write not because I feel like it, or I have/want to, but rather because I have a story in me. The hardest part is actually thinking of the character's names and changing the details from it being a personal account. Reading and hearing so many stories recently I can't help but want to write something that almost everyone who have fallen in love before, can relate to. Here goes... ...

I like U.

Someone nice said to me,
"I like the way you are...Stay that way."

I like you.

Just go ahead and like him or her, la.
I don't know why when people like someone they first have to 'justify' their feelings FIRST before... eh, continuing to LIKE the person?
I cannot like him because of his age...He is too old/young...I don't like younger guys... Or because he has liked my best friend before... Or because he is Malaysian/Indonesian/whatever, ...He is too nerdy for me. Too holy. Too mature. Too immature.
Blah blah. And then, just because the feelings aren't justified, we go out into the world wide forest searching for someone else, to fit the bill?

I guess liking someone can't be defined in that way. If the person fits every little thing you have been looking for... except one - say the two words 'unequally yoked' and most would shudder. But what if you really liked him. For those who have never ever liked a non-christian before, I guess it's just easy to condemn the relationship and 'try to talk some sense' into the person. But for those who have ever liked someone from the 'dark side', you know how difficult it is to overcome it. Same goes for liking someone of a different race, or just somewhat different from you.

Sure, same-same attracts. In a Reader's Digest article this is the point that they keep bringing up. You are more likely to fall for someone in your work place - yes, office romances work out most of the time - or someone you meet pretty often in a social setting ie The Church. Then it's easier. You don't have to worry about say, changing church. Or worry about how your kids will look like? Will the kid have Dad's dark skin and Mom's small eyes? Heh. Usually we like same-same, just because it's easier. After all this is an 'instant-noodle' era. Just pour hot water. We don't want to worry about differing beliefs, different countries. Even in Singapore - must we live in the same district? I've heard ridiculous sayings about how some gals prefer their boyfriend to live in the East than the West. Err, Singapore is already quite small you know... (But I agree East guys are better looking!)

I like you!

I remember saying absurdly many times to a wonderful guy I was with, "I love you." I love you. I love you, I used to say almost every time we met or parted. But I think I said it more to convince myself that this was going to last as I probably thought it wouldn't, because 'we are too different'. So maybe to spare themselves more heartbreak, safe people choose same-same, after all.

I like you...

Strangely how people seem to like the most unsuitable people. I mean, it's strange to me because I hardly like/love people easily, and when I do like them, I like them for quite some time. But some people can like people every fortnight, every month... Isn't it tiring? Told Kie in the car yesterday about a long-forgotten ex-crushee of his, whom I knew liked him because another lady told me - or rather, asked her about it in my presence. It is all so long ago, so I have no qualms about telling him about that now. He was flabbergasted. I think I can keep secrets pretty well - at least I will forget about it instantly and don't even sneak in a snidely smile at the abovementioned. But not wanting to kill friendships, I thought she was totally unsuitable for him. How do you tell friends their liking is totally unsuitable? You are putting yourself in the target area for a lot of bashing up - that would be so un-worth it. So I will just observe many likings and a few relationships 'crashing and burning', and when the person comes to me for sob-pity party, I will just try my best to hold my tongue and say, I told you so.

After a traumatic relationship, only Jelly honestly told me "I'm happy for you." And then he explained why, and I don't doubt his words. So I think when your friend cannot see the mistake they are driving themselves to, it is best to tell them exactly what you think. In this case diplomacy and tact does not really work. It's good to be a woodblock sometimes! =)

I like you?

Having just passed the v-day, many magazines and whatnot this month brought up the topic of love. Even Kie's cell topic was on l.o.v.e! And Reader's Digest tried to 'define' how to find Mr Right and fall in love etc. Normally I would not read such articles, as I think it's all psychology nonsense... but what to do, I had time to kill while waiting for my client in a magazine store. Pretty interesting too! It said that they conducted a test on which individuals were shown photos of people, twice. One with the pupils dilated and one, normal one. In almost all instances they individuals picked those with pupils dilated as 'more attractive' even though there was no other significant difference. RD says that when we are aroused, we tend to look at someone with pupils dilated. Being a dark-eyed creature, I don't think I can 'see' or feel my pupils dilating, and the other party can't see it also? So this point proves the thingy that most people know already, couples staring into each others' eyes and feeling something for each other. It's actually because of the pupils. RD had more examples and some were pretty interesting, others we probably know about already. But I found this the most interesting, next time I shall try to see if my date's pupils dilate without looking too creepy. It's strange because I can never sense whether anyone has a torch for me. I don't even think further why they are being nice to me, only because all my male friends are super nice as well.


I like you.

There is no conclusion to this post, just that when you like someone, many many people will be interested in finding out why you will exactly like this person. It's as though you suddenly became more interesting! And inevitably, they will share with you their past or current likings as well, and it makes both of you buddies in a world where even simple likings have to be justified...and you shouldn't like him because of... (whatever reason). To me, it's just a liking only , anyways, and the fact that you like this person shows you appreciate this person, and both of you are having nice feelings about each other. So why kill it by being objective?

Melaka notebook: thoughts

You've never really been to a place until you have talked to the people.


Frankly quite bothered that I had to go to a meeting immediately after touching down at the Kallang bus station, and then receiving 50+ emails in the course of these 3 days. Seems like the hectic life of working in Singapore is 'all coming back to me now'. Hate it. Wished I could have stayed longer, like a fortnight and to the other nice places.

Still, I shall not let this affect me and think happily of my short solo backpack trip. Lots of interesting things happened, it's almost as though I was destined to meet these nice people.

==

After the short bus journey, touched down at Melaka Sentral bus station. It is now the biggest bus station in Malaysia, I was surprised to hear that. About 4 years ago when I was there, it was a small rural station near the river, near the guesthouse (20 mins' walk).

I stayed at the same place I was at, Eastern Heritage at Jalan Bukit China. It is a long chinese peranakan-style guesthouse with art deco European tiles and design interspersed with Chinese motifs engraved on the walls and doors. I love that place, big and airy and almost ancient - was built in the 1930s and very well maintained up to this day. There were others there: Czech, Austrian, Italian, French backpackers who were also staying for a few days in Melaka. Actually this trip is very meaningful for me because I went up on my birthday - it's like my birthday present! I hope that will be the case every year from now. Also, because of the recent relationship woes, I hoped that my spirits would be lifted by this trip. Was supposed to meet Ches but he had a last minute call to Oman.

When I was walking around later, I wanted to go to the old bus station that I was at 4 years ago, and so asked for directions. But no one seemed to know, or understand me. I met a nice old lady, she was walking in my direction, so I asked her about it. And also about Jonker's Street. She took me there in her car, just said, "Hop on if you are not scared of me." Me, scared of a little old lady? She was really nice and told me about the developments in Melaka. Now, it is becoming a bit like Johor or KL, there are more robberies, more bad people. It is considered unsafe for a person to walk the streets alone, especially at night. But somehow, though I have heard that in Johor too, (I've walked alone in Johor Bahru and Skudai too)... I have never met with any danger at all, so I guess God has been protecting me all along.

==

I love walking by myself, around the historic city, seeing all the well-preserved buildings with Dutch and British influences...somehow when I am constantly surrounded by people, especially in a busy city like Singapore, I lose a part of myself - and find myself getting angry, irritated and pushy - perhaps out of the need to survive in the midst of the busy crowd. Surprisingly, I find myself a much better person, more gracious, gentle, affable here in a sleepy town. I hope never to lose that part of myself again, that I will always have a friendly smile and not let the distractedness of the city get to me. In fact, I was brought up here all along but maybe it's a gene in me that would thoroughly enjoy roughing it out in a farm or something.

It got really fun at night, my guesthouse's owner, an uncle, Yen, brought me to some fun places to be entertained. Not the usual suspects, only serve beer and play pool. Some karaoke. Word spreads around fast in the small town for I only sang 2 songs in one of the places, and the next day, the owner of the other place, a kindly uncle named Richard, heard about it. He seemed to like talking to me very much, and for me, I quite respected him. He's Chindian, married a portuguese wife and studied in Singapore, when Beach Road was still a beach. He told me many stories about Melaka and Singapore that seemed to be almost a history lesson (Remember those we learnt) come to live! I wondered how it was living in those times, it must have been so fun for them. Also met many people of mixed - Portuguese and Chinese descent. They looked very different from each other, but had a unique look of their own - quite good looking with a dark brow and chinese eyes with a sharp jaw. I just wondered how their parents managed to fall in love with each other. One speaks Portuguese with little Malay I suppose, and the villager chinese women only spoke Chinese and dialect. So I guess they did it by looks, hand gestures...but they did fall in love and get married. Love is too complicated nowadays, it's nice to see some couples transcending normal cultural, race or age barriers often criticised by today's media. I'm sure the children will face some repercussions - a good looking mixed Portu-Chinese man in his 40s I spoke too, fit looking and nice, said he cannot find any girl who would want him - Malay, Chinese or Portuguese. So I guess for their children they have it difficult. Being Catholic makes it harder too.

Met Kent E that night too, saw a friendly looking tall guy with sipping a beer by himself at the second place we went to. Somehow felt like he was a kindred spirit. Yen wanted to play pool with him but didn't dare ask. So I volunteered.

Kent E is Swedish and he has bicycled (Can you imagine that!) through BangKok all through West Malaysia to Singapore, and then to Melaka, KL, ...The last I heard (email is good) he is heading to Penang. Then Thailand again and China, Beijing. He has really nice legs. Looks like the new James Bond but much taller and better. I think it's really amazing to just do this, alone, in a strange land. He has some interesting stories that he shared with me. Meeting him, I feel that my life is so much enriched.


Turned out we liked each other's company very much. The next day was a really memorable one for me. It's like meeting someone you have known for years - chemistry? I don't really know how to describe it, but I will always hold the memory of that day in my heart ( yeah can't even begin to write it for fear words do not do it justice ) Definitely a special v-day for me, drinking orange juice in a mosquito-swarm newly opened cafe at midnight with a Swede. How I managed to meet him later that day (with the help of Ah Qiang) is a story in itself! Strangely, it seems that we both met, by chance...then again maybe we were destined to meet. Sometimes, I feel that no one understands me...but somehow I feel that he does, in the way because he is like me, too, the kind of character that is almost an enigma.

And these memories of a 3 night sojourn into Melaka on my own will bring sweet thoughts when I am bothered with work, stressed and wearing my blazer, I will imagine just me and my crocs(heehee), battling the hot sun, walking into the unknown and just loving it. In fact, this trip has made me so motivated to work harder so that I can travel more this year.


==
So who says Melaka is boring? It is only boring if you go with old folks or a guided tour (super boring). For a fun, exciting and relaxing time, I advocate backpacking, in twos or solo if you dare.