*...a purposeful life...

"Spirituality" wrongly understood or pursued is a major source of human misery and rebellion against God. -Dallas Willard.

Yay!
Started on my new John Ortberg book "The Life You've Always Wanted - spiritual disciplines for ordinary people". It will definitely help me in growing in a new season.

Was glad Zero joined us for Watchnight, his presence really helps me in an intangible way, just by playfully teasing each other, it helps me to take my mind off the depressing stuff. Right now I try not to think about it but sometimes it gets to me, the vindictive thoughts. Did I pray for a stronger character? This definitely helps to shape mine... haha. But am glad for Zero's presence. In these uncertainties his all-too familiar voice (we do spend hours singing to God) seems like an unshakeable hope, something my weary and frightened soul can cling on to.

But it seems that other people have seen our closeness and associate it with a romantic allusion.

Seems like that's the inevitable curse for being super-cute. (Him, not me.)

Actually, such thinkings/gossipings do get me perturbed initially. I mean, we are of marriageable age but the first instance Zero came to church, he is asked about his alliance with me, as though, we have announced that we are in a relationship, or worse, an underground one.

But I don't mind being associated with him. Of course our friends joke about it! But it seems disturbing that people who hardly know us also assume so, and just in one night. Then again, maybe this is a taste for me, of being 'high-profile' in church again. After keeping a low one for 2 years. I don't really like it. You have to have a 'face' to people and I feel so self-concious in all I do, even my behavior in the toilet... ... it's a hard task to face being 'super-cute' and having to deal with the attention of young and nubile lassies and immature people who say what they say without even thinking of whether that is christian-like, or even hurtful...

That is why I care about Zero.

And maybe this is a way for me to learn how to communicate with people, as I'd eventually attain a certain amount of 'high-profileness' in my job, and also, deal with many different sorts of people. An interesting answer to prayer.

I like the way this friendship turns out to be.
So thank you God for putting Zero in my life.