*...a purposeful life...

Musing.

If you could choose, would you choose to hear from God everyday, or not at all?
Which is more scary, I ask?

For people like me, it's easy. It's easy to trust in God when He answers you, and mostly, instantaneously. Even the type of cabs I ask for, He provides. Just like that. Like magic.

So I have a childlike faith. Because God speaks to me all the time. Not just a still small voice or through the Bible. He speaks. We have conversations. Sometimes He winks at me. Almost everyday I wake up (or I go to bed, that is more often the case) with a song in my heart. And I will hum it together with Him. Sometimes there are many different songs in a day. I don't need to think about it. It just comes.

And He always speaks to me. Every day. I feel close to God.

So I was saddened when I knew, from God that my dear friend who is struggling with depressive feelings the way I was last year, never heard a word. For two years at least (That is what God told me.) And I felt so sad. It's really hard to have faith when you don't even see the hand of God in your life. I cried a little wondering if that had happened to me, would I still be around today? And I began to feel a little sympathy for those complaining people. Maybe they are so sad inside because they have waited too long on the Lord. OR they have never heard a thing.

I guess there are reasons why God speaks or doesn't.
But for now maybe the "what" is more important than the "why".

I've promised God not to ask for any more affirmations about The Best One if He answers my last affirmation.
And He did answer!
But I still doubt.
Sometimes, I lack faith.
I now pray everyday, "Show him!" As if by willing it to happen, it will.
Thank you God.