About going on trips with strangely normal people.

These thoughts I’m having happens for two reasons, one, an inspired discussion about some people, as usual – I shall not name names, as promised.

The other, when I’m planning for a shopping in Bangkok trip end-year, some people inevitably come to mind.

All events depicted hereforth are true, sadly...

I had the misfortune to travel with a group of friend’s friends, and some are even friend’s friend’s friends… Not knowing them vaguely well, I should have not decided to go in a big group but, I had to be working during half the trip so I reckoned, ‘hey why not?’ Despairingly for me… in the trip, there were two guys out of 4 (the other 1 being my very normal friend) that were what some of us would not want to term as ‘friends’, or even ‘true friends’. Mr Loud was… well, he was a young punk who liked to hide his roommate’s underwear under the said roommate’s pillow (my furious normal friend), and liked to play pranks on guys like pulling up their underwear till it snaps. He is also the loudest voice in the room. You may use the word ‘obnoxious’ to describe him. He is ever-helpful and likes to offer his opinions even if you didn’t ask for it. Best of all, he feels that he is the consummate expert on all things Bangkok, so if you want to go to buy a dress, drink tea or have a manicure, he will definitely offer you his advice.

I only realized this when we were waiting for our bus to reach to pick us to our hotel. While the others were otherwise occupied (or hiding from him), he sidled up to me and pressed his shoulder beside me – I was very irritated because I did not know him well. Perhaps if he were more suave I would have hamsuped him back. I know I am the prettiest girl in the group (self-proclaimed) but my shoulder is still my shoulder. (By the way he also offered me rides on a bike to wherever I wanted to go, only me and no other girl. Hyuks.)

He opened a Bangkok map in my face and proceeded with a lengthy diatribe of where are the best thai food restaurants in the area, etc etc. His claims to be the undisputed expert came with a mention about one ex-girlfriend of his having a thai grandmother. Yes, I nodded benignly. That should make you the expert amongst all. Thankfully during the trip, I spilt up with them, and went off with a couple of friends.

The other guy, Mr Invisible. You have known those characters, I’m sure. Not having much opinion of them, because they are always silent. They laugh along with other people’s jokes, but have none of their own to offer. I have always wondered about them because I am also guilty of not being able to keep quiet at times. Are they preferring to keep silent because they have no ideas or prefer to listen? I’m not talking about those who are introverted, I like them very much. It’s those who never seem to have any tailbone or any…personality. Always playing the sidekick role. Anyways, Mr Invisible was there to assist Mr Loud’s schemes. He was the silent follower in every jaunt. In my opinion, when I go traveling, since it costs me my money and time, there are definitely some places I must go, and some things I must buy. Of course, I’m not insisting the group follow me if I wanted to buy dried longans. But, I wonder about the Mr Invisibles, when they travel, do they get as much out of the experience as me? They definitely are totally reliant on others to show them the way, whereas I can say that I can take the train by myself in Bangkok, or in Tokyo for that matter, and I won’t get lost. At least I’m confident of finding my way back to the hotel.

It’s hard to make friends with Mr Invisibles. They seem to be very diplomatic. Sure, any movie is fine by them. Anyplace to eat, too. Even ordering from the menu, they’d probably follow your order or order the standard set. They are not as irritating or disturbing as the Mr Louds. But in a way, they are quite sinister, I feel. Let’s say you are stuck in a situation, or maybe just a mild thing like someone accusing you of doing something wrong when you are innocent. Would the Mr Invisibles know what to do? OR would they just stand by and not side or shield you? To me and many others it seems they would do just that. Thus, would you really call this a ‘friendship’? If he doesn’t make effort to do anything. Of course in this sense, perhaps the friendship of Mr Louds are preferable.

Well, I have to say that these characters are few and far between in my gang. Thankfully. But most of The Church’s women have a gripe: The men in The Church (or maybe the whole of Singapore for that matter) seem to be fitting into either one of these categories, although not to an extreme level. The single guys all seem to be ‘cannot-make-it’ (this is not my opinion as I am younger and still can choose from the range of 25-30). They are either very ‘nua’, ‘kiam siap’, uncle dressing sense (the coffeeshop uncle not the towkay uncle), poor, blah blah. And maybe this is true, for I have seen even this year, quite a number of my older girl friends marrying those from other churches who seem a little bit different from The Church’s men. On the other spectrum, there are those single men who are uncle-like and sporting a paunch and wrinkles, 10 years older than me, but still think they are Casanovas and can work it, baby. How I know this is because I have acquaintances who know them too, hahaha.

Well, if you were to settle, I can’t say for sure which is better. Myself, I prefer the exterior manliness of Mr Loud. He is sure to offer you some words of encouragement repeatedly should you fall ill or are unsure about having a manicure. But, your trip and your life may be second place to his jet-setting, want to be high-class lifestyle. Maybe you will no longer have an opinion and feel helpless when he shoulders another girl prettier than you. If you like the diplomacy and silence of a peaceful situation where there is absolutely no conflict and no idea for that matter, you may settle for Mr Invisible’s shoulder. You won’t expect him to disagree with you in any choices to eat or which movie to watch. You will happily get to watch all your favorite chick flicks. And go for 2 hour long manicures, you don’t even need to ask for permission he will just slump into the nearest couch naturally. Being an observer of life like some of my friends are, we also watch and wonder about these men. Perhaps they will change, but to our gut feel they will remain the same, mostly.