This one cannot...

This one...cannot lah!
Why?
Aiya...just cannot loh...

Having had the privilege of speaking to many single guys and girls lately, I am quite intrigued by the dilemna of such. I know guys (and girls) who are looking for that special someone, I know of an eligible pilot who flies for sq (tanned, hunky but not very tall) who is wondering where is the special girl who will love him enough to marry him... and other wonderful females who have 'no problem' in every sense, just that no guy is wise enough to realise that. And my dear friend Shiner who likes this girl for a really long time, only to not do anything about it, and now heard that she is attached. Is it his fault for not moving in earlier, or perhaps it was wiser this way? Perhaps a shorter anguish is better than a long term relationship that comes to nought. Also, deep within I felt that this girl was not suitable for him, in many ways.

But for the girls who are reaching 'a certain age' - time flies, and before they know it, they are reaching that dreaded number without a man in sight. I usually make friends with older ones, so, I have the time on my side to learn from these, and perhaps take a few precautions for myself.

I've seen one of my dear friends hanging around with 'auntie' sorts, unfortunately, although they make good friends, I am sure that this will not do wonders for her social life. She too, has admitted to me that she needs to widen her social circle. She is shy but appears to be sociable, perhaps her main fear is not really being able to communicate well with the opposite sex. I find these women fall in love way too easily, the way I see them being heartbroken over and over again by some guy who does not understand their feelings.

Maybe, it's they who do not understand themselves.

The other sort I've seen are those perfectionistic types who expect too much out of life, out of men. Perhaps they are the Type A types - workaholics and over achievers. But being in a relationship and falling in love is not just a result-oriented game where you can get what you want just by putting in effort. Some relationships fail, some succeed. And usually, we have to keep an open mind. Don't just rule out a guy because he doesn't look good enough, doesn't earn enough, just not my type, this one cannot, that one cannot. All, also cannot. What, do they think that God made only one man on this earth for them and they have to find him 100% suitable? I guess on one hand, they have unrealistic expectations. I too had unrealistic expectations before! (when I was younger) And... it was because my unrealistic expectations were met at a young age with a guy whom had everything I wanted and I wasn't even looking for him! (And now, I've found someone even better!)

And on the other hand, it's a case of sour grapes. Maybe they think that the guy will not find them appealing, so it's a case of, reject them first... This is what I've seen many many many instances, the girl will always say they are not really interested - they are the type that would NEVER say they are really really interested anyways! (And if they are interested, they would say, hey maybe tell me more, I can always recommend him to one of my friends.)

So, even if the guy did have a bit of liking initially he would end up with someone with a little more spunk. They are the types that will evaluate themselves too severely and if the guy loses interest, they would complain to their girlfriends, 'Why he don't call me? Am I too fat/boring/crazy/etc?'

End result, these girls, who are perfectly nice creatures end up without a nice man in the end.

If they are not willing to change, rest assured that the next one wouldn't stay for long either. IF prayer alone helps, just look at all the nice, single girls available in church today. One of my friends who is only a year older than me has already given up. It seems she has given up on our guys, but I think she has given up on herself (and her unrealistic expectations). Then there are those who say they do not mind being single, unmarried, alone, when honestly I feel they shouldn't be saying such things if it isn't their heart's desire. Who knows, it might turn out to be that way, in the end, and then I don't think they can complain.

I say, it takes action. With some advice from trusted friends, do what it takes. Change your hairstyle? Lose weight? Wear some less-auntie clothes? Smile more? Just little changes, habits that can be formed and done effortlessly with a great impact. Same advice to the guys out there... Change a little and your whole life can be transformed, why not? The choice of a mate is one of the most important choices you can ever make, I feel...because it determines your life.

So, why even restrict yourself from having this choice? When you actually can make it happen by a few simple changes...