Be your (better) self!

Usually when one stands out from the crowd to speak up, he invites criticism.

I knew I was born to be unconventional. Doing things in a different way, seeing realities from a different perspective from my peers. These 20% of people are... weird, not normal, not mediocre. Well maybe one day I will be able to drive a luxury car of my choice just because I think differently from the others. I knew that when I do certain things, pioneer certain choices, I stand the risk of being scrutinized. Right now, the things I do (so far) are successful and people look up to me, even older ones, who come up to me and say they admire my guts, my resilience.

But I know that if I make one small mistake and one failure, there will be many many people waiting to point their fingers at me and say that it can't be done. To me, failures in life are those who have spent years telling people 'you can't do this' without even trying for themselves. They assess the situation based on the negativities and with their limited vision, limit the people around them as well. I'm sure all of us knows someone like that. I've never been told what not to do, my career choices and lifestyle choices are mine to make. Of course, there are certain limitations, but I believe that my life is mine to own (and God's of course), no one can tell me I cannot do something just because it seems impossible to attain.

When I was young, preschool age, my parents gave me the choice of learning how to play a musical instrument. Being underprivileged when they were kids, they wanted to give me the best - and I could choose anything, from violin, flute, etc etc. I chose piano, and they bought an upright piano for me. Today... the piano is collecting dust on my balcony and being used as an alternative storage space. Perhaps some people would say that I've failed. By the way, I only managed up till Grade 3.

Making this choice has taught me how to make future, wiser choices in life. When I was young, piano playing was the 'trend' and probably a very good source of income too for the teachers! So, based on the limited information I have, I chose it. Along the way, I discovered my talent and interest for singing, drama, dance, and the arts in general. Although I never mastered any famous tune, I realised my passion for design. And if I was not given a choice to make at that age, I would not have realised what I wanted to do NOW. The piano is almost new, as none of my siblings had the interest to take it up. And there it remains, a reminder of my choice.

Some people still do not know what they want. Myself included... although I can envision the big picture taking place, I have no idea how to get there and what do I want eventually. But in making choices, I see that it is important to develop yourself first. In making life- partner choices - when choosing a boyfriend, this is something in our life that we have control over. If we attract loser guys, we run the risk of being a loser - like them, if each of our boyfriends were... loser guys. Thing is, do we realise this and change ourselves and our criteria?

If we do not know what we want, then don't blame God for giving us something we don't want.

I am introspective today because I've met many people recently , triggering my thinking. Everyone is always told to be themselves, but they never realised they can be their better selves! Choose to smile when you can frown. Choose to change when you know it's for the better. Why make choices just because your auntie said so, your grandfather said so, your friends said so... it's your life to live. And soon before we know it, middle age is creeping on us, and we find ourselves parents, but yet not really to grow up.