Still feeling woozy

Still feeling woozy - many factors: lack of sound sleep, the weather is just too hot, the migraine from yesterday still festering somewhere sending funny throbs now and then.

Don't like to feel woozy because it reminds me of how fragile and vulnerable life and relationships can be. I'm not thinking much, simply because I refuse to start the whole cycle again. Have wonderful advice from every side though. Thanks guys. I think I'm brave enough to embark on the journey of letting go since it means that you will know after that what you really want.

Something funny - or not really funny happened last night (which apparently caused my tiredness today). At night, Mom declared that the last surviving hamster Misty was dead. He was a good hamster. Feeling slightly sad about it all, the night passed uneventfully. It was only when I was about to turn in for the night when Misty suddenly popped out his head and jumped up and down. Told Mom who was puzzled and realised she mistook a piece of bread for a dead body. Happily Mom put him in a new clean cage, and happily the undead Misty ran the wheel and scratched the papers happily the whole night... forgetting to sleep, thus disturbing my sleep. I woke countless times, to the background sound of boxes-scratching.

If I'm sick, why does it seem to be my fault...
If I'm hurting inside why do I find no comfort in you... for your words seem to pierce me even further, your actions driving us apart.

I need a real, deep love. The soulmate type, the one where two becomes really one- thinking alike, caring for the other person as though he is your own. Never saying a harsh word about their lives knowing it will crumble them to pieces.

Should I just let go and look for another?