goodbye

You are right, Muffin. I've been a selfish person. Many times I could have been there for a hurting person, but I didn't.

Reason is, I'm too scared to get involved in their lives. After what happened. I was traumatised. Maybe I still am.

I used to be nice. I still am. I can't be tough on people. I can't show tough love. And inevitably, I am hurt too. And sad. Do you know how sad I am trying to help someone I thought cared and loved God and my cell and each other.. the same way I did, only to realise that all I ever did trying to help ended up trashed.

I can't help you. And because I've failed, I realise I can't help anyone anymore. So because of this, I've made a decision to not help anyone anymore. Let me live my life happy, although this is a selfish reason, maybe? Beats crying yourself to sleep and getting hurt by words again and again. Being vulnerable to you only makes me sad. I thought we were friends, at least. I wish that things could be good again. That we could eventually realise what we have planned for in the future. The biz plans and the cell plans.

It's been a lovely 6-7 years as a leader and now it's time to go.
Cheers.