I did always like fast food... and the combi of red+yellow...this is probably where it all started...Somehow, coffee tastes different when you are drinking it from a traditional ceramic cup (the kind that is off-white with dark green floral prints), poured from a good old well-loved and well-used aluminium thermos flask.
The coffee at the fish farm I'm currently filming (wraps up tomorrow!) tastes great; and for me, a first - I have never drunk coffee without milk - that is... 'kopi-o'.
Spending time at these obscure places which you know is not going to be around for long makes you really appreciate the atmosphere and soak up the place, before you leave it - or before it is gone, forever.
And when 'nothing is happening' - what is your response?
For me... I'm quite a go-getter. I like to take initiative, and perhaps, my thinking is, if it's really worth it, worth thinking about, worth fighting for, then go for it. I've been thinking about my feelings for quite some time now - and there is someone *drum roll, please* yes, you've guessed it - who has captured my heart. Although he hasn't a clue, really.
Being sickly (how is it when I am sickly my brain seems more alert?) has allowed me time to read and I particularly like what Elisabeth Elliot wrote in 'Let me be a Woman':
(disclaimer: I've not fallen in love... ...no. I just like what she wrote!)
'You have fallen in love. You've had the experience nearly everyone dreams of, that the poets have written about, that happens to some "at first sight", to others slowly, and to you, I think, after a very short acquaintance. I remember the first time it happened to me. I realized it had happened when I looked in the mirror, for I saw a different person there.
"You love him", I said to the face, and the face answered yes. You look at his face and everything in you says yes. You know, beyond any doubting, that this is the man you could gladly give yourself to. Your heart sings, the whole world sings, the look of things is transformed.
But that is not love of which I want to speak now. The kind of love that makes a marriage work is far more than feelings. Feelings are the least dependable things in the world. To build a marriage on that would to build a house on sand. When you promise, in the wedding ceremony, to love, you are not promising how you expect to feel. You are promising a course of action which begins on your wedding day and goes on as long as you both live.
Your feelings cannot help but be affected by riches and poverty, health and sickness, and all the other circumstances which make up a lifetime. Your feelings will come and go, rise and fall, but you make no vows about them. When you find yourself, like the unstable man in the Epistle of James, 'driven with wind and tossed', it is a great thing then to know that you have an anchor. You have made a promise before God to love. You promise to love, comfort, honor, and keep this man. You vow to take him as your wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish 'according to God's holy ordinace', till death parts you."
I'm submitting my feelings to the Lord every week. It's hard. Trust me, when a woman likes to day dream and flutter around thinking of happy scenarios and looking forward to future anticipations... it's hard to just let go of what 'might be...could be' and let God hold your hand as He leads you in His Destiny for you... sounds good, but it's damn hard.
Still, I will submit, not because I cannot think of anything better to do, not because it's the right thing to do, but because... I think I truly care for this person. And more than anything if it's not meant to be, I want to see him, happy... truly happy.
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