Thursday, July 23, 2009

the men never get it.

Why women seem to be more materialistic than men; IE 'I want my husband/boyfriend to be able to buy me an Audi next time'; 'He must earn more than me, I can't accept less'... ... It's not about the money. 

When women want a guy who has more or better educational status than them, it's not about the braggability, nor the oft-quoted tome about 'Smart women like smart men.' We actually like our guys to be a little more simple, a little more dense because Smarty-pants is never charming. Prince Edward of 'Enchanted' is a doofus, but adorable because he is so in love with Gisele, and he sings to her, too. 

In our grandparents' generation, the women always stayed at home, unless the man passed away early, then the oft-uneducated woman would have to take on jobs like food court cleaner, laundromat helper, to support her young children. But seemingly in a hand-to-mouth existence, they could still afford a HDB and new clothes every month.

In our parent's generation, the women had a choice to stay at home, and take care of the kids, or work. Work being mainly 'office clerks', 'typists', receptionists, for those with O'levels and service industries for those without. Most mothers stayed at home if the family could afford it. Mine did, preferring the home life to a office environment. 6 people subsisted on one income but the fridge was always full, we had 2 modes of transport (Fiat-minivan or motorbike), and we owned a HDB flat.

Women look up to guys who seem smart, because they have a better opportunity to excel in their chosen field of work = better chances of getting promoted or recognized or headhunted and thus, having a better income. But it's not about the income. It's about having the choice. Choosing between staying at home or going to work. If my family was rich, and could afford to supply me with say, $2K/month for the rest of my life, I would be very happy working as a part time waitress, serving coffee and tea, and spending the rest of my days having long walks, writing stories, reading and making art. 

Most guys nowadays think that women, their other half, should go out and work. In fact, many of my peers, gentlemen, seemed curious as to why I had mentioned (to them before), that women, they don't need you men to be rich or provide luxuries for them. BUT... when we are in the parenthood phase(which will last for about 20 years for some of us), we always prefer to have a CHOICE. To be able to choose between working, or wanting to stay at home to look after the kids. 

To be able to choose.

And because women are always smart enough to look for better options for her own life, like finding the perfect mascara, or the perfect little black dress. we hope that in this lifetime, we can find a man who's all that and more. Sure, we don't discriminate against men who are lowly educated. But we always prefer having a better choice.

And the men don't get it why women like flowers. As children, boys and girls, we always want to pick wildflowers to give to our Mommy. 'Hey Mommy! This flower is picked for you.' In a sense, we are giving it out of love even though Mommy may not want that flower picked. But she accepts it because she knows the child's intention. And women accept flowers from men in the same way. Flowers makes us feel special - just note the admiring glances if you carry a big bouquet of flowers in the MRT, whether you are male or female you are sure to get a lot of attention. Flowers make us feel loved, and pretty, they spell out that we are lovely, like a flower. Tee hee, a flower for me? Awwwww. How sweet, we say.

Even those women who purportedly say they do not like flowers or are 'not a flower person', always seem to melt when they are presented with sincere flowers from the heart. But men being men, they take these women's words as what-it-is, and never give them flowers. Gah.