in times of need, a lesson learnt the not too hard way

Just met up with the new-old friend. He's quite similar (yet different) to 'The Architect-who-does-not-want-to-be-called-that'... in the way that we can talk from Orchard to Ang Mo Kio and back. People always say such of my male friends are eccentric and weird, or boring... but to me they are quite kind-hearted, empathetic, altruistic and entertaining. Maybe I'm the one who is weird to be able to clique with them. Or being a rare persona, I actually enjoy weirdos' company.

That's why weirdos have normal friends too?? In any case, they are normal to me.

I realised the new-old and I, have many things in common, or rather, common bugbears. Somehow talking to such individuals made me realize, or see, certain things in a clearer light. All of us have our personal crises, moody moments and jubliant days. Although we did not broach the subject, my mind wandered off to those times, the moments of crises.

It really saddens me that there's a lack of gusto and panache in some of the more laid back individuals who can be called 'friends'. It's been said that you know who your true friends are in those crisis moments, those times of need. Notwithstanding some of their other faults, I found it touching that my true friends really reached out to me in those moments, supporting me throughout, with sms, emails, chats, meetups, whatever it took for me to regain my balance.

Of course they have probably gone through some traumatic events in their life too, to be able to share your pain.

But how about those with whom you have labored with, gone through ups and downs and shared many things and a long span of years and times together as friends, but yet at those crisis moments, they choose to sit on the fence, mistaking what you are going through for some 'growing up pains 'or tempermental flares; or pretend to be oblivious to what you are going through? This is like adding salt to your wounds and it's what separates the wheat from the chaff, what draws the line between BFFs and hi-bye friends.

Sad but true. I was really quite amazed by who could have been there... but chose not to be. (And also by who chose to be there. It might not be who you thought was close to you. For instance, a girl whom I never got to know better because of our busy conflicting schedules, made time for me EVERY SUNDAY at dinner time when she got to know about my crisis. So touched! She's now happily engaged to a guy who also showed such concern and met me up just as often, during my crisis. They deserve each other!)

The sad feelings are like a past relationship, a relationship you thought would never end and how happy you were, sharing and doing everything together, each day, but in the end, it turns out the feeling's not mutual, or you love him more than he does, which is always painful when reality hits.

You wanna shout !#$%##!!! WTH!!! This is what I get in return for our-so-I-thought-close friendship, a cold shoulder and nonchalant behavior...but you can't because you are too depressed already.

Anyway, I'm already over it long ago, having matured sometime between the ages of mid-20s.

I just thought that people really are hard to read and sometimes you hope you can give the person a second chance but then again.

Sometimes I really miss my dear, dear friends, there are many I'd like to meet oftener but again, it's our conflicting schedules. Like Chestnut(in another country). Ange (same.) Architect (workaholic). Fang Sista. Ms Lee. Giffy. YH. Joel V. Ohhhhh... dear, dear friends.