Just friends.

Here's my penny worth of thoughts on relationships developing from friendships.


There's no magical formula to define what causes you to have that special sparkle for that special friend or suddenly realising every word she says and even the mere warmth of her presence next to you is imbued with a deep affection.


Having her there to support you, a cheerleader, a listening ear and maybe even doing some hobbies together, yes, feelings do develop naturally. For her, she realises you're a nice guy. Of course you're nice, why otherwise would she be friends with you? And just maybe, things will work out, happily ever after.


Pause.


Actually this is a likely and lovely scenario, but it all matters which role you choose to play. (or it's being chosen for you, sometimes.)


I have this idealistic and extremely positive notion that all of life is a stage, you choose which role you want to play. The whiny girlfriend? The uptight employee? The Mr Nice Guy? It's your call.


And some shows you don't want to be on - like 90210 or Melrose Place. So angsty - this girl likes this guy who likes this other girl who likes her teacher who likes her friend who is her stepsister... you get the drift.

Be on shows like Friends. Everyone's happy. Some Friends do fall in love. But if you are 'Rachel', you get the short end of the stick. Funnily, the happiest Friends are Monica and Chandler. They seem to have a really stable relationship! But sometimes, you might just happen to be Ross. He's nice and seems to be the nicest guy around. But his relationships are always so problematic.


I think that, I'm not really FOR the idea of a relationship developing from friendship.

Sorry to say that I've also found myself in that unfortunate scenario before and more often than not it goes awry. Realistically, not every show ends up like Friends. Some end up like... CSI. So serious.


Many years ago, I liked this senior of mine. I mean, I really really liked him. I liked him so much that I prayed about it for seven months. Really fervently praying. And I was friends with him for many years. So one day I plucked up my courage to ask him if there could be a possibility... of... you know? Cringe. Unfortunately he only saw me as a dear sister in Christ, sadly. Of course after much sadness and pain, I've recovered. But the saddest thing for me was that I've lost a friend. He used to join my gang for movie outings and we had such fun times together, eating and just talking about life. Of course, it may be a tad immature on his side to avoid me when it's all under the water now, but I do long for the heartfelt conversations we have had, which we never will again. During my depressed state, he was the only one who bothered enough to text me every week, EVERY weekend, if I was around, and when I could muster up the courage to attend, he always saved me a seat beside him if I needed to hide from the madding crowd. So I think it's not an exaggeration to say that what he's done for me saved my life.

There could be happy endings for some, but for many, it doesn't work out. Many friends don't realise that it could be a blessing in disguise that the so-called lady or man of their dreams turn them down. I realised later on that it was better for me not to be with him because our life goals do not match. Being from another generation, he does not really understand how to communicate using modern IT paraphernalia, plus, the time he has left over is not enough for me. But thanks be to God because after this unhappy episode, I've learnt a lot of life lessons that can't be gained from just reading a book. I decided to pray a horrific prayer to me - to 'open' my mindset of not being open to younger or same aged guys...I never did like guys my age, sorry... I just happen to think I'm more mature, which I'm not,
I guess.

And just a few months later, I did meet the person whom I knew at almost first sight that this guy is a-ok for me. 2 months to be exact. God is good.

Sometimes we are too impatient, we pray for months on end, hoping for a singular outcome, but little do we know how to pray, or what to pray for.





And all the men will disagree with me as they have this peculiar mindset that developing from friends is the standard, the ideal scenario... but trust me, men do not know how to be friends with the girl they like. Period.