Monday, March 21, 2011

unexpected, that's the way life should be.


It was nice to stop and 'smell the flowers', literally... I was covered with their sweet scent and many as I tried to help my groom and bride friend's car to 'doll up'. Well, they told me that the car's front centrepiece did not fly off during the course of the day... thankfully! The unethical hours I was up this week (3 nights till 3 -5 am) and a weird sicklyness combined to make me entirely cranky and somehow, reminiscent. Maybe I have been keeping myself busy enough not to admit that I too, like other human beings, do get lonely. Some people are blessed, they meet their true love early in life. Compatible in every way and perfect for each other and both like each other too. The rest of us have to trip and somersault through this world and what it has to offer, all the time keeping an eye out for someone that we'd like enough to spend the rest of our lives with.

I realize that time whizzes by and I forget to remember the things I miss. I miss the warm feeling of having someone's shoulder. Missing them doesn't mean I want to go back to the way things were or back to status quo. It just shows that often the simple and sweet gestures and moments are the ones that will stay in my heart, rather than the ostentatious display. And perhaps, it is like this, with me. The ones who capture a part of my heart, more than I'm willing to admit, fill up the broken shards piece by piece. I'm not using them to make me feel better, but in a way, it contributes to my healing, to replace every torn memory with a sweet one.

Dear future children, these months could make up some episodes of 'How I met your father.' Maybe I've met him already. Maybe not. In any case... it sure is better to finally live my life instead of observing others', and enjoy what I've been given, and have things to look forward to. There are many public tragedies that have been largely given sympathy, currently the Japan earthquake-tsunami-nuclear fallout. There are many personal tragedies that do not make sense, which nobody knows about, or care to understand. In the light of how fragile life is, and how many things we take for granted, I hope that I will, once again, remember that love is patient, and to choose wisely.

"Sometimes the best decision in life does not make sense at all."

-Ted, How I Met Your Mother.


Live-flowered-heart...