friendpotential

The fascination that I have with observing the human species and the realization of their faux pas, mistakes, gaffes and some unlikable behavioral traits does intrigue me. Recently, I've had the opportunity to observe really high-calibre people. Successful in their career, highly intelligent... of course, there are highly intelligent, Mensa people, having mediocre jobs such as bus drivers.

And then there are the really nice people. I mean, really nice, always positive, smiling, never a nasty word to say or a complaint to utter. However, they often don't rise up to management or leadership in their respective jobs. Have you ever wondered why this is so?

I've always been taught that your network is your net worth. Those people who have 'no friends' are branded as losers, and I think, rightfully so. We lose out in so many ways when we don't have friends to give us counsel or just share some insider info over prata. I've always had the gift of making friends, or rather, the gift of the gab. I surprise even myself when I find myself talking comfortably to angmohs holding C-level positions and feel no fear or apprehension talking naturally, stating my opinion, cracking some witty jokes. I think many locals, faced with this opportunity, are often tongue-tied. Of course knowing what to say at the right time (some call it emotional perception) is another skill in itself. This probably cannot really be taught.

Over the years, I'm glad for such friends who introduce me to their friends as well. I did stop going to events and making new friends for a while, but these months, I've made so so many. They are all nice! I don't really consciously seek out people, rather, it's the 'chemistry' that makes one person memorable to you from another and I find them interesting enough to continue the connection. Of course, being friends at this stage, we have not seen enough of the 'deal-breakers', enough of them to like them for the long run. Best of all, these newfound friends are my new support group. Sometimes, old friends (unfortunately) know you too well that they cannot give objective advice. They cannot tell you to go for it, for some things they also don't have the personal confidence in, where others can. And of course, most will give unsolicited advice that may be detrimental to your personal choices. I say this with kindness, because many times, I wish to say things to many of my old friends, just that I don't really know how to. Maybe keeping quiet is the better option. Women usually have so much to say, but I guess we don't accept criticism or feedback that well. And of course, all these stems from a particular incident that provoked me to become more self-confident, assertive, friendly, open, in essence, bringing out the better qualities that was within me that no one had ever told me about but I recognized it as being very attractive to me and in other people. Since having that self-confidence, I've been less shy, more 'aware', and the most surprising thing of all, keep attracting similar people. Well, I'm savoring the attention...

Now, the next step, how to turn friends into something else, only if you want to.