Well, next week will make it 2 months into my new job. Already, I've had some key wins, unprecendented and unheard of in my firm - which propels me into the spotlight. Like it or not, I'm suddenly famous. I have calls from better firms trying to make me an offer; of which I am flattered. A couple of them seem sincere, and seem like something I would enjoy very much in the long term. One MD said that his door is open to me for the next 12 months; anytime I wanted to consider a change, just give him a call. That was very nice of him!
But bad things happen too, those you cannot possibly imagine. There are people trying to hypnotize me daily into doing things I don't want, and trying all means and ways to make me bend to their will. At first I looked at it amusedly, but now, it's no longer funny. On Friday I broke down, the accumulation of all that was nasty came bearing down on my little head. I just needed the peace of mind to do what I was good at and not be bothered with all the nuisances that seem to come with this firm. It was perhaps the first time that I wanted to throw in the towel or even had a faint glimmer of it, although I could foresee it coming, as others had kindly warned me. The rest of my team was unutterably kind, in ways I could have never expected. Although in a way we are supposed to be competitors, the way they helped me survive the day made it all better - the nasty things brought about the goodness in all of them.
I look forward to Moppet's daily calls. Yes, apart from the short emails, we talk daily for a short while, when we both can spare some time in between interviews and sales calls. Sometimes we miss each other on the phone but we will keep trying to call back during the day till we reach each other. I'm always happy to hear his voice, though he always tries to rile me up still and make me squeal in exasperation, he tells me about his hours, the things he did, and I find I can tell him about any little thing from the bruise on my finger to the small achievements and even frustrations and I've got a strange feeling that he would just understand. Isn't it strange that despite our different accents we can understand each other perfectly? Of course, the neurotic part of me, bruised by certain light of past events, asks myself if this could last, if he's really what he makes himself out to be - if we're going into 'friend-zone'... tiny nigglings of doubt that every woman encounters from time to time though we try to push it deep into the recesses of the small container at the back of the freezer compartment.
And after the nasty happened, Moppet made it all better by giving me sensible advice, told me about his previous similar experiences and said I could call him anytime - this made me feel so much better - I know he doesn't say that easily. I guess that's why I'm careful in choosing to share with people because at that low point of time I'd hate for some of my other friends to say 'Ya-they-are-like-that-one,what-to-do-lah'... thanks but no thanks! Later when I had recovered, he asked me how I was, and we had a vulnerable and sweet chat.
Lately, when there are funny things that happened in my daily encounters, for instance, Mom excitedly said to me she bought me 'London' chips!!! (I always rave about my Aussie Red Rock Deli chips) ... and showed me the pack, it said 'Scotland'... I said, hey Mom these are from Scotland... then she said emphatically, YA! Scotland is in London! - I can't even begin to describe how hilarious that is... I always try to store up, in my short-term memory, these funny incidents to relate it to Moppet, hoping that he will find it funny too, knowing that he would at least crack a smile at it (I think he is smiling more at my way of relating it more than anything else) ... lately I find myself having so many things that I've stored up in which I would want to chat with him about... mostly funny things, also some things to exasperate him (morbid fascination at making him riled up). I'm glad that when there was something nasty that happened- I don't feel so alone in the world. He has no idea how much he means to me.
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