No longer sunlight deprived

It's past midnight here and I shall devote the next two hours to pound away at my novel. Fun fun, I'm no longer sunlight-deprived and oooh, I do so love the rowing machine they have at the yck gym... believe it, I 'rowed' 3000 m at a rate of 400+ calories per hour (whatever that means) ...and my wrist and whole right arm aches lyk mad now, no thanks too to our informal cell outing = playing badminton last monday. A bunch of "activists", we are... It's chilly here, always rains these days sometime around 2 pm so I gotta wake up real early to soak up the sun. Still, exercising puts me into a bouyant mood, it seems as though I can punch punch punch my worries away! Or maybe, I've finally realised some things are too precious to be exchanged for others. Like family. God. Sunshine. Best friends. Books...

After 2 months of deliberation and fighting with my inner voices of sanity and ignoring them completely, I've come to realise that hey, sometimes following your heart leads to nowhere, but when I follow my heart after first following my mind (and of course God's will for my life) it all seems to fit together. Somehow, somewhere no one else knows what I need at this point of time, me included. But, the beautiful thing is that, once you find yourself staring at a bottomless abyss, and finally let yourself go, the real release takes place. Been holding on so long, I sometimes forget what I really want to say. Last night suddenly felt kinda sentimental, oh yay, I am getting in touch with my feelings again. Shed a few tears on my grumpy pillow and pretended it was his shoulder. Maybe I should write it in a letter, but is it important to me to let him know? Or let it be a secret between ole' pillow and me... ... Other pressing issues for now, I'm invited to a movie date... and ches' going to russia to get me my lomo... yea and my novel. Now where did I leave off... ...