Thursday, December 16, 2004

Equivocally unexplained

Ahhh... it feels really good to be out in town on afternoons again. Makes me reminiscence about campus life and I am glad friends my age are still studying... Mr Bestfriend's leaving on 27th to Seattle, I thought that I would cry my eyes out then but it's a dawn flight so there's no chance of me sending him off. Had the crazy idea of saving up my meagre salary and taking off to visit him; seems improbable (for me to save that much), but if there's a will... there's gotta be a way. I brighten up at the prospect of buying cartons of Old Navy, Abercrombie and Hollister Spring/Summer clothings... yea. Have not met Mr Bestfriend for months, the last I remember was sometime in his semester break last July. Some friendships grow dull with the ravages of time, ours remain pristine and untainted with the worst that can happen to best friends - secret crushes and likings that create a tingle and an unnecessary distraction to a sanguine, platonic friendship. Although we hardly meet, each time our lives are unravelled in the short span of time we have together, and I leave being comforted that no matter how huge my discrepancies, someone's there to support me. Just like Giffy, who over time has become a replacement-of-sorts for Mr Bestfriend. Attended Shannon's graduation with him yesterday, must say I am really thankful for the company. Shannon's show was great, I felt really proud of him as he received the 2nd prize of being the best student's work for the cohort. Almost as if he was my little boy. All grown up now, matured into a young man, standing onstage... 2 years have passed since I was first introduced to this quiet, tall boy with a distinct talent for art... who once shyly told me, I think you're pretty, which automatically made him my favorite cell member ever; and how he would introduce me as his cell leader, which I always cringed at. Even now, I never introduce them as 'members', 'cuz to me, they're all friends; we are all friends in the same cell.

At first felt slightly out-of-place with the family; but they were very nice, kept smiling at me and the Uncles kept cracking jokes to make everyone feel at ease. Strangely though, they never asked me who was I, or what was I doing here... I think Shannon's mum still has the misconception that me n Giffy somehow share a deeper connection; due to a faux pas that was made some time ago. It was rather embarassing, and I've come to the awkward realisation of seeing why she always always always asks me about Giffy, whenever we bump into each other. I wonder does she ask him about me, then? I wouldn't have minded much if they asked, really, I would have answered them from the sincerity of my heart, We are good friends... But then I guess everyone assumes that there is more to that, and since it isn't brought out into the open, neither of us hinges a statement on what is. For his sake, I hope he doesn't feel too offended by the subtle remarks; such as Uncle Thomas emphasizing that it is a gentlemanly duty of his to send me home; and their wanting us to take a photo together with the Christmas tree. (We disgustedly refused. Quite mortifying if it were to be developed and circulated.) Till the day either of us gets attached to someone else, the family's misconception validates me like a passport entry into their circles, unquestionably.