Heartbreak Hotel : The awakening of love and mistrust

Met up with two friends I haven't seen for several months yesterday, and as usual, we got to talking about the topic closest to our hearts - romance! Though I must say that the conversation was rather bittersweet with both sharing their frustrations and fears. Both have been hurt terribly. At times I feel that the option of giving up seems somehow brave, and honorable. I berate at the things that happened to them these months; and how I, caught up in my own dalliances, fail to offer them tea and sympathy. Naively, they fall at Cupid's vicious swoop, only to realise that they never really understood it at all. In part, it is not like being aware and leaving it till it is too late; it is more of not knowing what to expect till it suddenly befalls you and you fall into a abysss which you never envisioned to be there.

Being 'unlucky in love', I've sat with 'Ren many times till past midnight as he cheerfully shared his new lady loves and his strategy in wanting to know them. His only fault is that ... he is too nice. So nice that people take him for granted, and much like the phantom of his own love-opera his ego is crushed time and again as one by one, the Lady-Loves invariably get attached to someone more handsome, older, more intelligent, more charming. Thus he wears the mask of nonchalance; not by any fault of his own. But his heart yearns to love and find love, so after some time of getting over it, off his heart flies, looking for someone to bequest their affections upon. For me, at least I channel all my anger, my frustrations, my unhappiness ... through writing. I guess I'd seldom write masterpieces then, 'cuz I do wish for my life to be stable, peaceful and happy.

Lin is a lady I admire for her single-mindedness(pun intended), and all through the years I've known her, she was always the one who enquired with concern about who I'm liking now, and I know that I can always share with her, no matter how foolish it may seem, we would just laugh at it after the whole thing. She, on the other hand, was not as tempestous as me, she seldom liked anyone. But in the recent months she has had some heartbreak of her own, too. I guess this is all part and parcel of life's experiences, and in going through this we can take comfort in the fact that it makes us a little older...a little wiser, but hopefully, not more cynical. The betrayal of trust is the worst thing that can happen in any relationship, and so many times this year, through my and my friend's experiences I have learnt not to be too gullible, and to be a better judge of character. And for myself, to be a person of honor. So many people have shared with me their little secrets, I hope I can be as trustworthy to keep them safe. It is sheer stupidity to trust someone so readily, and then hurt yourself; by being innocent and doing what is good. Then again, should we forsake childlike innocence and be shrewd, like a serpent, even doubting our closest friends?