Remember me this way

Didn't say 'goodbye' to Mr Bestfriend.

Never like to say this kind of overawing sentimental nostalgic cliche statements. Although it's only one word long. But, yea. Was just thinking yesterday that 'departures' are sort of like funerals, in a sense. You no longer have that magical physical and personal connection, although of course there are wonderful webcams and emails, etc, to take away the 'I-am-missing-you' part, but I think its worse (at least for me) it's just a placebo to diminish the actual effect of 'separation anxiety'. (NB:As defined by Rachel, 'separation anxiety' happens when best friends split up or one goes away. A panicky feel of desperation and desolation.) Somehow the brain sends waves of reassurance: You can still contact by email, what... Only 7 months and anyways you have other friends... Normally you also don't see him so often... cruel cruel thoughts that dulls the active, emotional state of mind, that not until later, I will feel sudden pangs of 'separation anxiety'; sort of like a homesickness feeling that only settles in later, and it gets easier, with each departure. Silly me, I don't like to feel sad, so actually, I'd withdraw from people who are leaving me/sg soon. Initially I didn't want to make friends and share stuff and be close to Markos 'cuz I knew he'd leave, too... And after Chester I didn't know if it was worth the effort, to make a new friend just for 3 months and gone for 3 years. Boo. And I reasoned that since I knew he was going already, what's the point of being s-a-d he's leaving? I stepped into the friendship knowing this fact, so, ideally I should be 'prepared' for it. Right. (Wrong.) But congratulations to me, I really didn't cry(at the airport...altho' I told mw I felt lyk it!)

Ches said we are all human beings with complex emotions; and its amazing how we feel, at times, 'cuz that's a way of letting ourselves know our thoughts, too. Which is why, if I ever leave, I'd just slip away quietly. No messiness, no tearful sending offs, no photos at changi with people I won't see in a long time. How long a long time is is defined by how often you think of the person, I guess. All of us want to be remembered, in a way. When we die, how we are remembered is most evident by the people who come. Not by sadness, but by the way we simply are, holistically.

Just remember me, in a good way, in the distinct understanding of how friends know each other through little idiosyncracies and demeanors. It's three hours before takeoff.

And...Bon voyage!(This statement I will say.)