Why-dis-why-dat-mode

Mr Bestfriend sms-ed me from airport just before takeoff at 6am. So touched. Prayed for a safe journey.

So.
Why is it that you can miss someone that is sitting beside you?

I somehow thought that we share this connection that I felt we used to have, the sort that only really close friends who knows everything about each other have; but now perhaps it's gone. Or maybe, it never existed; it was just a figment of my imagination, a tinge of some unsettled issues preempted and overanalysed, defining a new reality with boundaries to tread carefully on. How I wish though, that it didn't have to end so abruptly, the very nature of it being so unpredictable, yet having a strange familiar feeling of nuances of idyllic requiescence hearkening to those days.

Did you ever feel this way, at all?

Then again don't tell me 'cuz I don't really want to know.

*Sighs* Did something that I normally would not do, yeah but I think I'm having the replacement mode syndrome. Sort of surprised it sets in so early. And also, I didn't want to disturb gif, he has to work nights and go to skool during the day. I can understand his predicament, the only way I can be thoughtful to his needs is to spare him his personal time. So for now, unofficially no-meet-ups till maybe he grads or completes the fyp. So yes, did the unthinkable, called this guy, just had the insane idea that I could just chat and be happy, at least for a little while. Got his number from a friend of a friend. We share a similar bus route, and actually thought he was really antagonizing at first, made me so irritated by everything he said, and then promised he didn't mean it. Somehow underneath that facade I think I could see he was a calm, sweet person just that the defensive mode was his natural way of communicating. Perhaps he has known much sorrow or pain in his life, thus the guarded way of responding to people who actually care. I was pleasantly surprised how easily we could clique despite our initial exasperations. New possibilities forged instantly thanks to my misguided initiative.

One thing about younger guys is that they don't think too much about how they're representing themselves to the fairer sex; they just open their hearts unabashedly and share openly, sincerely. Maybe they have a certain respect for me, as an individual who tries her best to understand, and also is going through things like that. Not like those other 'matured' ones, who just want to portray themselves in a good light and never wear their hearts on their sleeves, I can never understand them. Although they do nice things for me, are friendly and are good company when they are around, somehow it gets 'lost in translation' and I'm not an avid reader of body language, it's never accurate. Why can't they take a chance on people, the only thing they would be losing is their egoistical perspective of themselves. I know I'm being harsh but some people have to grow up. And take a chance on life. Take a chance on love.