When Love takes a dark turn...

An unhappy story.

She died. She committed suicide.

And now my Mr BestFriend is left to pick up the pieces. He's back, from Seattle. He loved her deeply. He's devastated. I still remember he enthusiatically told me how when he came back he would give her the ring he bought. There is no need for that now.

She will never get a chance to wear that ring.

Inside, I'm ranting. WHY why WHY WHY????? Why did she kill herself? What happened, to be driven to such desperation? Why must she be so selfish? Why did he fall in love with her? Why did this happen?

I saw her obituary in Sunday Times. Just a simple photo with a verse and other details. If you weren't even looking for it, you won't even see it. How transient Life can be, a memory reduced to an insiginificant wisp. I've never even seen her before; but we did have plans to double-date, when he comes back... and Mr BestFriend was the one that encouraged me to embark on this relationship I'm having now - that I would otherwise be much more skeptical about. Why has Love dealt him such a blow on his first relationship, I guess I'd never know. His notions of love will forever be a bittersweet one, tinged with the maturity of the knowledge of loss, of death. Me, I hope to be a little less frivolous with the feelings of others, and I told my fellow yesterday how thankful I am that God has placed him in my life in this season.

Mr BestFriend, I never dreamed this would have to happen to any one of us, to me too, it seems so surreal. But I know you are strong - please don't bottle up your feelings. I know you cared for her. I know that in the short time you knew her, you loved her. And that is what matters. You are not destined to be together with her, all you can and should hold on to are the fond memories and significant conversations. The memory of a flower that God gave you will give you peace and a shelter from the pain and hurt I know you now feel. And as always, I will be there listening and comforting you, when you need it.


In Memory of Lily, 11 March 2005.