Only God can intervene

Even when there's nothing to do, there's something to do.

At least for me, I'm not the type that can just sit down, comfy in the nice red office chair with super arched back support and do nothing. When my manager's real busy, I really wish that I can help her. Show my investment value. At least soothe the workload. I realise how 'inadept' I am in the corporate environment despite collecting experiences that fills up my CV to an entire page. Since I was 14, I've been a telemarketeer, a financial consultant, admin. executive twice, dresser - many times, visual merchandiser, sales person for charity goods, freelance designer, writer... yea and now I'm a Fashion Co-ordinator. I co-ordinate the hangers, the garment bags, the mannequins, and most importantly, the clothes themselves, ensuring each are properly behaved and they do their job well, presenting the best image of our label to the customer.

The work never ends but then again it's not that taxing on my lazy brain... and I get loads of free time to observe shoppers, window-shop, and basically do my own designing and surfing.

Really looking forward to the church camp, in less than a month's time I'd be in Thailand. I was happy that I got my leave, in actuality, contract-wise, I'm not entitled to leave, not at least in the first 6 months. But I have a really wise and nice manager - been learning stuff from her daily. How to be a good manager too, if one day I should have subordinates. Amazingly, she shared that one day, she knows, in her heart, that she would 'convert' - to a religion, either the Western one or the Eastern one. Sensed she was really open so I encouraged her and shared a little bit why I'm still in church. She's so much wiser than the people I know still struggling to come to terms with what they feel inside about God, or those who try to escape from Him. Been thinking about those who have 'gone'... the strange thing is that once the person backslides, the friendship goes down the drain as well. Or leaves the church for another one, for that matter. In a sense, I'm glad I'm still in contact with Mr BestFriend, he is my window to those I once were close with. Remembering the many happy times together in those growing up years are the memories that I've cherished up to today. And Mr BestFriend has an 'elephant' memory - he remembers everything, even the little little things. He teased me about once having a crush on Gerro, and saying some little mushy thing that sounded so stupid now, and I was so embarassed that I ran around chasing him - and he didn't stop saying it, he's neurotic in this way. Too bad I can't remember all the disgusting things he said about his crushes too, I'd would have dragged it out and embarrass him back. It's good he is around for me, I always look forward to his updates on those I once was close with. Maybe if things have not changed we'd still be the same, but perhaps, I would have changed. Perhaps, this is the way it was meant to be.

Maybe I'm strange this way but I have flashbacks, especially in this period, about friends who have 'gone'. I wonder about them, what happened to them in the past few years or so; are they still leading a 'clean' life with moral principles somehow found in the Bible, or do they totally turn their back on what is good, and become a totally changed person? What do I think? Frankly, I would like to envisage them as good, moral individuals with nice attitudes, still being the same nice people they are, and knowing that they will come back to God one day. The church is always open, and there isn't anyone except themselves that will condemn them for coming back. I miss the happy times we used to share, praying and learning together. If by any chance there is the conviction in their hearts, I sincerely hope that they do not go for what is temporal, but use their time, and thoughts wisely. Miss Keny, Vic, Giffy, Ailin... Miss the part where we're supposed to grow up together and spend happy times without the prospect of leading a purposeless life coming to the picture. If only people remained convicted. But oftentimes thay fail us, themselves, and God. No amount of nagging, berating, or pleading will convince them once they have chosen the darker side. I guess only God can intervene.