A book in the hand and a teh-c in the other

Reading - ah, one of my passions, although I don't really fancy reading the news these days... it's an occupational hazard for me too - I have to read fashion mags cover to cover, it's not good - singaporean ones make me want to 'get that dress now!'; tempt me materialistically...and the content is not as good as foreign ones which include more well-written and thought-provoking pieces. 'Allure' is good.

I'm quite a miser when it comes to buying books, perhaps I choose them by their covers, and made really boring decisions(however, they had nice covers); choosing christian books, previously. Thus quite afraid to buy books, only under recommendation or when a preacher comes to town. Lately the only books I bought were Dick Purnell's 'Building a Lasting Love' (Sheepy exerted pressure) and John C. Maxwell's "Your Roadmap to Success" at the campus crusade sale; finished the first one in... 2 months...I'm losing my...passion, usually I can finish a lengthy book in 2 days max. like I did for Dan Brown's 'Da Vinci Code', and lately, 'Angels and Demons' - which had a much better plot and better writing as well.

Found a nice christian book place at City Square, bought 4 books for under $50, quite pleased about that. I'm going to start reading: 1. C.S. Lewis 'On Love'. 2. John C. Maxwell 'Becoming a People Person' 3. Philip Yancey 'Rumours of Another World' (nice, shiny cover) and 4. Henry and Richard Blackaby 'Spiritual Leadership'(Also very nice cover. Embossed!). It's good to know that my cell members are avid bookworms, more so than me... Seeing a newbie buying 3 books at one shot in manna bookstore really encourages me to start investing in good books. Felt that reading books together with people helps the relationship along too, it's simply wonderful reading along with someone who wants to listen to you dissect the entire paragraph and then debate your separate views. I tend to reflect a lot on the internal, so speaking it aloud better helps my thoughts along, compared to an inaudible monologue.

Mewsy lent me "Keep a Quiet Heart", Elisabeth Elliot. This part was especially thought-provoking for me:

Are you willing to be and have what He wants you to be and have, and nothing else? Will you surrender all your own hopes, dreams and plans to Him?

'Is my Father in charge here or am I supposed to take over?' He is in charge if you want Him to be. He will not invade your freedom to choose to 'take over'. But if you want His way, nothing more, nothing less, and nothing ELSE, you've got to leave it to Him...

Even though I've been a cell leader for some time now, sometimes this untamed spirit in me just takes over. Always wanting to rush things - 'cuz I see possibilities ahead of others, wanting to move on fast... I'm still learning to let God lead, it's really pleasurable that way. The vision, dreams for my life, for my cell, it will all come to pass, let God do it!

Realised again today how much I can influence people if I am willing to. Just a small incident at our favorite hawker - somehow, the people at my table ordered the same drink - 'teh-c' as me, perhaps they trusted my taste? God spoke to me actually through this! To influence people in the right way.

Told Shiner at the bus stop, that I wanted to be low-profile in church, I don't want everyone to know my name, to know my cell's name, to think they know me, a part of me, somehow... but because of my involvement in publicity-generating roles, inevitably the whole district gets to know my name and I am really, embarassed and at a loss of what to do or say to those people who know me; but I don't know them. And people would just come up to me and share to me, their lives, anecdotes, things they're facing... I don't know why. People of all ages - my friends' mums, acquaintances.... This, I relish, because it gives me an opportunity to share too, and encourage. But once you think of it, it seems rather freaky that people place so much trust in you, and you wonder, did I do something right here...? Some might say it's a natural ability, a special gift God has placed upon your life. I used to joke that I have the 'tell me your life story' face. I know that God can use my life experiences to be uplifting to those. But maybe, I don't want it - I don't really want to know all the unhappy things, or the struggles, or the shocking stuff... just let me think of them as a carefree, easygoing person without any hangups. An unworrisome imagination.

Once again, God has reminded me to be bold. To speak up and speak the truth - often accompanied by a verse, when it's time to do so. Which I haven't been doing so. 'Cuz I'm bo-chup, when people tell me stuff I just try to be a good listener. Whoever said 'don't give advice' isn't true. After many instances I realised abit of godly advice to a teachable heart transforms lives. I want to be a part of that, too. I will try - even though I could use a bit of sensible teaching, myself.

I hope the next time I drink 'teh-c' or whatever, I won't see people imitating me though!