A weird state of being closer

'Do not forget that the value and interest of life is not so much to do conspicuous things... as to do ordinary things with the perception of their enormous value.'
-Pierre Teilhard De Chardin.

It's hard being a thinker when you can't reconcile your feelings to your thoughts - that in the view of self-expression and genuine emotion, you want to tell someone what you think about how he feels; yet, there isn't and probably never will be 'a suitable time', to 'trash' things out, and the peeved-ness is smothered under a blanket of politeness, albeit insincerely.

Sheepy said something really amazingly contradictory today, once again on the topic of love, as our tenet course draws near: He mentioned how he cliqued well with older girls because of their maturity, yet found some of their thinking more immature as compared to his'. Then he said that to younger people, he would try to talk down to their level (something I would never agree with), to communicate with them effectively. But if the reverse is true, then perhaps the older girls he knew, knew he was younger and more immature, thus talking down to his level which they imagined to be, thus appearing immature to him? He had to concur on that. Kudos to my logicality - but I found it very tiring trying to explain to Shiner and Sheepy my thoughts on deep stuff, although I do treasure meaningful conversations.

Later, while sipping chinese tea and eating a nice sunday brunch of congee and various dim sum(The egg pastries were nice) he asked me: "So, what is THE quality you are looking for (in a potential mate)?" I quietened down my fiery mood (Lack of sleep, so super defensive feel) and replied, that he has to be faithful. Perhaps, being sensitive for once, and seeing that I could be possibly on the verge of tears (no, I wasn't) Sheepy did not make any other interrogations, but left it at that and we moved on to other topics. I think I told them that any unfaithfulness is a sign that something is wrong in the relationship, can't blame the guilty party alone.

I'm glad I have these friends to support me at this point of time - Still ambiguous about Sheepy, he seems to be behaving weirdly these days... ultimately hope that things will be like it was before, although I don't really expect it to. What can I do, I've already presented myself at his door with my time and listening ears, but he didn't seem in the mood to share one-on-one. So many questions, left unanswered as perhaps I'm not really interested in hearing his explanations, given his state of being. I've decided to not interact that much these days, but just perhaps let everyone have some time to themselves. Already am seeing Shiner like 4 days out of 7, Dee asked jokingly, how come we're like Siamese twins? Everyday must talk to each other isit? To which I replied back, 'Nah, alternate days is okay...' All that aside, I'm happy for the fact that I've a buddy, one who will at the very least show evident signs of concern for my well-being. Not to mention, a grocery carrier too! Had a fun time buying some nice, expensive biscuits from Marketplace at Tanglin. Hopefully the bags' worth will last for breakfast this week, I'm a horrible cookie snacker.