First thing in the morning

Prayer changes things.

If I could fly, I'd soar into the sky and pinpoint the exact direction to the location of where you are, and tap you from the back, and give you the shock of your life, delightedly. If you could fly, I'd want you to catch a star for me when you sail away. I would put them into glass bottles and in the years to come, I'd have bottles and bottles of stars, lining my shelves, under my bed, and along the walls of my room. And years later, the stars would still shine, brightly, a reminder of the times together, a reminder of you, a reminder of what I cherish about you.

Love is when you realise that you think about the person, the last thing you think about when you sleep at night, and the first thing in the morning. And little snippets of time that you have to yourself, you think about him, too. His name is never far from your lips, and when he calls you by your name, a tingly feeling creeps up your spine as you beam and reply in the affirmative. Love is when, you know and he knows, even though the future seems unobtainable, even though besides age or locale or race or tiny differences, there are many insurmountable barriers; but despite all obstacles, this one emotion is able to overcome all.

But instead of flying - we can't; we do mundane human things based on logic and other complex workings of the human mind that is unfathomable. We do not understand our thoughts, so we hide them under a blanket of pseudo psychology that tells us not to consider them as important and valued upon all.

So we ignore these thoughts in the morning and at night, we try to act nonchalant in front of the only person that we would want to marry, we pretend life carries on as usual, we pretend to be mean to the people we love, we lose contact with the person over time, and even as time passes, our short-term memory grows shorter and shorter, and we even forget about the love we shared, in the eventuality of time taking the place of our fleeting, fragile emotions that makes up the core essence of our souls.

Slowly and over time, perhaps through other friends' well-wishes, and some own longings as well, we start to look at other people again, with the desire of finding a soul mate, someone who can and will fulfil our needs, who brings out the best in us, and who loves us for who we are. So we search, we keep a lookout for the one that seems to be the best amongst all the other people we know; the one that fits our criteria, and our preferences. The one that we would secretly keep a lookout for them without them knowing, because we feel that they are someone we want to keep close to our hearts.

But we forgot that, we have forgot about the last person that we have felt so strongly about.

And we find ourselves falling for someone who seems to fit the pattern of the last person, and we question ourselves... Do we genuinely like this person, or are we just displacing our feelings, from the last...?

Maybe we haven't even realised that we have stopped ourselves from falling in love, again.