Trying to understand

God is light. God is love. - Book of John, Holy Bible.


Yesterday, I was told that "I am loved by the Lord."

Really touched.

Even more so that it came from Grass' mouth. =) The way he communicates is downright exasperating and draining at times, but the encouragement that comes unexpectedly, I treasure so much.

Manager told me today over kayatoast that we both(me and Grasshopper) really cannot make it, both of us are staunchly believing in different things, and neither would convert for the other. It's amazing how much my life becomes a table-conversation topic, çuz she mentioned that while I was not around yesterday the other consultant asked how was the outcome.(me and Grasshopper's eh, suspicious partnership/prospect deal) It's funny too how much the people around tend to overanalyze. Well, manager said that she's thankful I'm not those overly zealous christians who go around trying to convert anyone they meet. I tried to act like one, unconvincingly, just for laughs... It's strange that since Grass arrived, the subject of religion has become something that is openly discussed.

And I think I will not respect anyone that would convert his/her religion for me. Nor would I respect myself much if I were to do the same. But I understand how the subtle pressure that exerts itself amongst friends could be annoying at times. I think people need to be understood. Countless times, Grass thinks he understands me very well (yea right) and always telling me that I don't understand. Which I countered back with, "What make you think I don't?'' Perhaps the people around us try to understand us, and they think they do. But on our part, we are not trying hard enough to understand them. I always tell my cell members when salting, 'that they don't care how much we know, until they know how much we care.' I'm trying to be more open, to be more understanding. To respect people as they have respected me, and not shoving the gospel down their throats and talking about Jesus all the time, but also not being nonchalant and losing the opportunities that present itself.

I realised that my division is a strongly christian one, but the ones around me are all prebelievers. Although I do long for some positive spiritual impact from my superiors, I realise that I have the power to influence them as well. Manager has said that her life has changed since the less-than-two-months I've been here. All I hope to do is to make a positive impact on the lives of others.

Sometimes we care too much about keeping up appearances that we fail to be real. I think I neglect this area! I used to care, too much. Whether I have the position to impact someone, how I can go about doing it. Now, I'm so motivated, I talk to anyone, people on the street, in the lifts, with two agendas. One, to smile at them and brighten up their day. The other... ... to understand humankind a little bit better. Meeting difficult people can dampen my mood, really...But it's the gems like Grass, Warren, Brain, Rudy, Lilth - nice strangers that I meet out there, friendly and helpful, that really sets a standard for me in the way I treat others lesser than me.

I'm vowing to not avoid canvassers of any type and being friendly to all the people who approach me from now on. It's only 2 minutes of my time anyways, but to make someone's day? Hey, that's priceless.

=)