Conversations about God

Met Grasshopper again today. Just wanted to spend time, have a meal and meet up... I was in an antagonistic mood, which I'd warned him earlier, but he seemed to ignore this fact, and further agitate me. Well, I guess the cold weather made me pretty chilly to all of his crappiness. In fact, I got a bit of Grass-overdose, went back to the office pretty fed-up and burst out to Manager who soothed me and helped me to focus. Guess Grass felt it too, I was just moodily walking slowly, and he stopped the irritating stuff. In the evening it was so much better and we managed to patch things up somehow. Gosh, I spent like 7 hours with him today. I really enjoy his company though, we should have more people like him in this world. I'm glad I met him.

What made me quite perturbed was the issue of God, and how fast this discussion should creep up. What can I say to someone who is so much like me that he believes as deeply, as strongly as me, just that he believes in a different thing? And deep down, I do fear that I'm not as strong, not as convicted as him, that somehow through talking to him I will become unravelled. An irrational fear that persists, and makes me antagonistic to all his ponderings.

I knew he was going to ask.

I was afraid of what I was going to say.

Grasshopper asked me today, "WHO IS GOD?" I mean, how do you explain God, who God is to me...Who God is to me does not define who is God, and how do you explain, that He is the Father of all creation, the maker of Heaven and Earth? How do you tell someone that God, to you, is not just a distant being, but someone REAL, who cares about you and knows about you like no one else does, and most of all, answers all your prayers, and is faithful to you beyond reason, despite all the bad things I've done, despite all the failures, that He is there, He is ALWAYS there. And how do you link it to the part where faith comes in, where you have to believe in Him (Grass asked if it's blind faith?) It's not, how do you explain faith? How do you explain that to someone who doesn't believe, but wants to know?

So I just sincerely did it in the best way I could.

I looked into his eyes and told him, God is someone that loves you.

I hoped that touched him. I hope that it makes a difference to someone who says he cares about everything, and yet nothing, yet when I asked him what he truly cared about, he doesn't really know. Maybe he doesn't bother. Or that life to him, is carpe diem.

I could cry. I did, you know. Just thinking about God. Shed a few tears in front of Manager too as I related about the day. Guess I'm learning how to be real.