Expiry date

Sometimes seeing familiar faces again after a long period of absence, having suffering and pain as your only companions, makes you want to hug them. Or at least touch them, pat their faces, their shoulders to see if they really exist. And to see if they're still the same. Yes.

I shall hug people more often this year.

I love my friends.

It was fun just meeting them after a long hiatus. How I wish I had more time to spend with them, individually. That the keepable friendships will last beyond proverbial gossips.

There is no expiry date to friendships, right? I think its' destiny is more left to chance though, and circumstances, than choice.

I actually said meanly to a dear friend that our friendship is going to expire on 'this-date-this-year'. At that point of time, I have no idea why I said that. Perhaps six months ago I had a premonition that this friendship is seasonal. I wanted to care, but maybe I've lost that ability. After that, I repeated what I said, on and off. It became some sort of a joke, but deep down inside, I really think that it will happen.

Then, little signs of what is going to happen are taking place right now.

Some friendships I want to see happening isn't, so I'm not waiting with bated breath to see if it does take place. Maybe I'm leaving everything to the hands of God. Maybe, I'm just not as patient or persistent enough. It does matter to me. I treasure them. The small but still deeply felt impact of their words on my life. How can I give them up?

How I wish that there is a world where our thoughts could be read, sometimes, the nice ones, by the people we want to read them. Then we could read theirs back and know what they think, what they feel about us. But for us right now, we have to press on. In wanting to know people, not just anyone, but deep down, instinctively searching for a soul mate.

I wanted to get to know Turtle better for a long time already, but we just didn't have the convienience of time or situation to propel us together. Happily, through Travis we met, and actually hit it off quite well. Travis is responsible for a lot of the good things in my life. He's like someone you can take for granted to listen to you when you call, to complain to, to wait for him to call on you.

So much like Jesus.


And for all my life, I have unintentionally taken advantage of these meek people.

I have pushed them around, ordered them to do stuff for me, knowing they humbly will, rejoiced together at my victories, and updated them with my life stories. They always remember to ask, "How's everything?"

Only sometimes we forget to ask back.

Does our callousness imply a lack of love? Perhaps, its more of selfishness. All of me and less of him. We want to be heard, to be appreciated, to talk, more than listen.

But I love you, too.

I shall listen to him and not talk tomorrow.