We make a great team!

Very excited.

Me and the nice guy I've dated just started a blog... Not to write to each other those lovey-dovey sweet nothings (There, I'm cringing again!), just to pen down what is in our hearts, introspectively. Someone I can share anything to without much anxiety of him being immensely weighed down by all the deep sordid stuff, nor too emotionally affected. It's called "Meeting at the intersections" - a prayed that was prayed by someone and affirmed by us, from the start,
www.meetingattheintersections.blogspot.com

On my online forum, I think (or hope) my views have been respected...was pleased to receive a email from someone who asked my opinion on his relationship.

He wrote:

Hi!Thanks for responding to my post.

I hope not to be shitting on you as it may come out to be, so well, I will not unload everything on you. Or I hope not to!!!

Anyways, I have been after this woman for about 1/2 year already and well, we connected well since the beginning and it's not an initial thing as we have very much the same thing today and it's a lot deeper.

Thing is, she has depression and it makes it very hard for her to make a commitment towards us and well, in every other way she shows agreement but here she shys away. I know why and it's hard to live with I suppose.

But I am not giving up and well..... Anyways, I would like to know if you have friends like that? Who have been hurt before badly and now finds it hard to trust again. What did it take to overcome it?

It's all a little sketchy isn't it?
Anyway, I hope to hear from you. And u have a very good day!
regards, X.






And I replied:
Hey!

No worries.. I don't claim to be an expert of such matters, but maybe I just like to help people and offer my 2 cents' worth of advice.

You mentioned the girl in question has depression, is it being clinically treated? In my church I have had the opportunity to help some depressed people - and I was also depressed myself recently. It's very heartbreaking for me, because some of them could not snap out of it by THEMSELVES. First hand, my best friend(guy) 's ex girlfriend committed suicide because of her depression issues about a year ago. If you believe in God, I personally believe that depression cannot be treated by counseling alone, it must have a spiritual side to help to CURe it. Medicine does not work. Medicine only supresses. Talking it out does not work. The relief/results is only temporary and it will come back.

Only through God's help can anyone overcome depression.

For those who have been hurt before ... Humm... I believe everyone, even those who have never been in a relationship before, have emotional 'baggages' in their lives. Some more, some less... it's a matter of accepting that u have this issue and wanting to get rid of it. Thru out our lives, we have accumulated a lot of 'clutter' along the way. No matter what the issue is, you have pointed it out to her, she has to decide if she is going to live with it her entire life, or not. This is a decision only she can make for herself.

I'm glad that she has found someone who loves her enough to try to understand her problems and is willing to walk them thru. Your not giving up attitude is inspiring.

And... the nice guy I'm dating, replied:

I believe you are probably surprised how i get to know about your email and even responding to it..well, just to offer some suggestion if i'm welcomed.

sorry to hear about your situation with your girl or girl -to-be in any aspect, depression is never a person's choice or it can be as well. confusing as it may seem but its not exactly that difficult if sorted out carefully.

lets put in plain words, we are blessed with a thinking process and we are also blessed with emotions to feel and shower feelings. experiencing with these gifts can often time bring about joys and sometime pains as well. In fact, your girl is definitely not the only one who is in such a state, be it mild or severe - its still a state for concern and snapping outta it is important and it will help if the person involved is willing to keep an open heart and open mind about things around her/him.

i had also been wrapped up in multiple depression as well, be it from emotional setbacks or career challenges. and not matter how i prayed and try to snap outta it i can never, never...and i realised through a prayer and soul searching session, i had a revelation aka mental breakthrough of the term depressions - which is when you put emotions into your problem and everything just get gel up and thus matters gets worse or even outta hand.

I begun practicing to separate emotions and problems, even those heartbreaking ones and i must say it helps like no other ways. I.E if its a breakup and you cant handle it, separate your mind/thinking process from the emotional pains and solve this heartache like a cold issue...i practice it and it worked!!! well, you may say its takes the mind to know how the heart feels, yes you are not wrong..i had that struggle and i will suggest to isolate that part of your heart to single out the issue/s and take it out or simple 'kill' it. very academic it may seem but i bet you i works better than dwelling in it which it will become a mega snowball which will overrun the person.

In short, be a friend to her, listen and guide her. for now, just put your intentions aside, if you truly care for her well being because at this point in time, she needs an assuring friend more than she would in a boyfriend. Intentions and any romantic acts or words will only remind her of her fears and separates you both further than you can ever imagine.
Take care my friend.
Cheers!!

=)

Isn't that what I call an empowering couple ministry... can imagine we offer this service to people around us...In my opinion, we make a great team!