The answer to everything

If I could tell you the answer, you wouldn't need to ask God.

Don't deny your feelings.
Eh, but don't embrace them too much, either.

I've realised in the last weeks that strong emotions can make or break a person. It's been TOO exciting for me, being a bystander in someone else's love story that may - or may not unfold, and someone else's that already unfolded in a strange way. I can only play the devil's advocate in giving some well-meant but on hindsight deeply unsuitable advice to all parties involved. For spiritedly being spiritedly, is clearly lacking in strong sensing where matters of the heart are concerned. Maybe she has lost her heart long ago and trashed it but, she really cannot sense what's best. Grant is terribly good at this though - I call it 'reading people'. I can read people's vibes, but not when they are in love. Things start to go a little bit haywire from there. For me it's like watching a fast paced foreign movie without the subtitles. After the translation via Grant, everyone's actions begin to make a little more sense.

Being non-conventional (and hating it at times), I realise that using me as an example to 'why the lady did this and what does it mean' is definitely not a good idea. Kie said yesterday, that I was really like a man. Erm, I guess he means that I'm straightforward and...say what I want to say...and nothing else. I am so feminine... though violent at times. Heh. I'd rather they ask me something else. Because even though I've been more experienced than I care to admit, experience counts for nothing when you fall in love all over again. If I told you exactly what to do to win her heart, then I'd rather be the one chasing (but I'm not interested in women.) And if I gave you advice whether you should proceed with the love affair, I think you are not taking ownership for one of the most important decisions of your life, should it come to marriage.

Sometimes I feel that we are too close knit to actually have any unique identity of our own. Yes, we know each other too well... And encouragement is good, of course.

I think I just want everyone to be happy. And not secretive. And definitely happy when you feel like you love someone and you just want to tell someone about it. =)

So, the true answer to everything? Seek God.

If you are serious about the Mr/Ms X, ask Him. Too often, it's not your will but His be done. I've gone against it only to be hurt, mauled, maligned, abused even. Emotional scars and the loneliness after. Just ask Grant. Just ask me. For a year of wilfulness, it's not worth paying the price for a moment of love to have such emotional wounds. But the healing comes, it comes.

It's not worth the sacrifice. And definitely not worth the heartbreak.

So love with all your heart and soul. But love Him first.

And GOOD LUCK!