Thursday, May 24, 2007

Caught up in a moment

If it's easy to do, it's not worth doing...

Sometimes when we are too caught up in the daily grind of life, we often forget how to take a break, have fun, enjoy life a little. Like getting a nice big cup of Avocado milkshake perfectly blended from the fruit juice shop, 20 mins' walk away from the office. Or smiling at colleagues, or smiling at random people I thought were my colleagues (What, I work in an MNC ok...) Well, today someone who looked familiar, like a colleague smiled at me while I was on the travellator, and not wanting to be rude, I smiled back. But I also smiled back, because I was in a good good mood, having caught up on my sleep. Being in my job, sleep is a luxury. And last night I let myself home early and slept till I woke up naturally, which was such a fun thing to do! (Working late tonight makes up for the sloth.)

I guess I push myself (mentally) too hard at times. I keep thinking of work things to do to occupy myself, even though I may not get around to do it. Too positive! The bane of my life! I want to do so many things, but I want to live as well, go for massages, chat with people I love for ages, play with my pets. Go to the beach! And etc.

Realised through my "Muffin Talks" that I needed more encouragement, so recently have been picking up my face from the floor to ask my spiritual leaders and some peers for the help I need. I've been told it's a common predicament that people ask for help, but in actuality do not know what sort of help they need. For me, a positive sort of help I guess. I know where I'm going to ideally, so I'd need some help to get from here to there. It's ironic, I can always easily see how and what sort of help others need, but for myself, I'm clueless. Maybe I need an outside perspective to tell me what is going wrong and what can be improved. And it's astute, how I've been told about things I seem to know - I do agree that I need some push factors at this point of time. Seem to be able to engage in worship so easily each service, just shut myself in, into the presence of God. I long for service to renew me, refresh my heart.

TO BE CONTINUED...