When Women Cry

Women have the 'If you need to be told I am not going to tell you' gene
=David Bergin, Switzerland (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/3002946.stm)



Received this in an email earlier during the week, not sure if it's actually factual(and no credit given, sorry) but here it is:

Facts on Tears - "Happy" Vs. "Sad"

Interesting piece of information...

"There was a study done where a control group of 100
people were divided into two. 50 people watched a very
funny, tears-of laughter type movie. 50 watched a
very sad and tears of compassion type movie.

At the end of the sessions researchers collected the
"happy tears" and the "sad tears" with eye droppers.

They found that "happy tears" are made up of brine...
salt water and not a great deal else

However the "sad tears" were found to contain the
very same chemicals and enzymes that are found in
tumors, ulcers and other such lumps and bumps and
sicknesses through out the body.

This test concluded that the body, when crying in
sadness etc is literally flushing out all of the
toxic-chemicals that accumulate and are a part of the
sadness /heartache experience.

Therefore if one holds back those tears, those
toxic-waters will find somewhere else to deposit
themselves... .and prolonged lack-of-crying-release
will guarantee that the body will accumulate a huge
amount of internal pollution and toxicity that should
have been released through the tears........ is it any
wonder that the eyes sting so much when we hold back
our tears?"

LESSON FROM THE STUDY:
CRY YOUR HEART OUT WHEN YOU ARE SAD, LONELY, ALONE,
DEPRESSED, ETC..... IT IS GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH!

I think its common for girls to cry, often, at least in the male mind's opinion.
And sometimes the Men think, too, that we cry for no good reason. Was just sharing on the phone with Snowman, that I used to cry-a-lot in a previous tumultous relationship I had, and was duly condemned for it. Branding my tears from being 'nonsensical', to 'creating a scene', to 'crocodile tears', Xerxes condemned it hugely due to the fact (I presume) that: No. 1, he doesn't cry... No. 2, he doesn't know how to show sympathy/awareness for my situation.

I told Snowman, never tell a girl "Stop crying." It has about the same effect as asking you not to think of a pink elephant sitting in front of you (Yes, you can imagine one now, right!) It only makes the Woman remember why she is crying in the first place, and cry more. Please, a hug would be so much better. Also, I felt very very rejected when Xerxes kept adding insult to injury by saying my tears were fake, etc. Dear all Men, no Woman wants to cry for fun, especially NOT in public. Please. No Woman wants to use her tears to presumably create a scene so that they can feel vindicated. When women cry, generally, it's because they feel sad.

And the sadness can range from anything to a hurt feeling at a single act of betrayal, or more deep issues like childhood trauma, abuse, failure, fears, etc. So when women cry, they can't help it. Just take it that they are releasing their sorrows and often will feel much much better after releasing it. It's easier not to cry, believe me. I've often hid my tears pretty well. But if I can cry in front of you, means that I am pretty much comfortable with the Man I choose to share this part of my life with. So if you insult me for it, I think you are insulting yourself really, for not being able to handle this situation. All it takes is a slient strong shoulder to sob on. We don't need words. We don't need explanations. We just need you to be there.

So, being there, having done that, and yadda yadda, some tips for you clueless men (again, I seem to be constantly dishing out tips. At least for the teachable ones, now you have an edge!)

1. Men do cry too, it's just that Women cry more than Men. Maybe some Economist, Scientist or Doctor can give the reason behind it, but as a generalisation, this is true. So just accept it, don't condemn us, we are the 'fairer' sex you know. More fragile, perhaps more easily hurt.

2. When YOUR Woman cries, just shut up, don't stare at her (Women are very self conscious when they look unpretty when they cry) but don't completely ignore the tears also, and don't focus too much attention on them. And please don't ask the No #1 hated question: Why are you crying. Not, at least, until she has calmed down. Or you risk losing some bodily parts... Try to find some tissue without leaving your spot and if don't have ah, use your shirt. She will feel regretful later and make it up to you, heehee. (Oops.)

3. Don't cry along with her. (Don't laugh, it happened to me. If not both of you will look really stupid, especially at crowded places like MacDonalds' and women being women, they will put their tears aside and try to help you first.)

4. When your Woman FRIEND cries, it depends on how close (or how open) she is for you to be able to do what you wanna do...Most Singaporean women in general prefer the Man to sit beside, nearby, not too close but not too far away. If you hug her tightly it might seem a bit too much. An arm around the shoulder is ok. Of course, depends on the body language. And if you made her cry, all the more, please be the one to soothe the tears too.

5. If someone around you cries chronically, they may be depressed. Or just sad all the time, = depressed so you might like to seek medical help.

So cry, if it makes you feel better. It does, I think.