For me, I used to spend summery hot afternoons eating my sandwich at the Singapore River overlooking Cavenagh bridge. Working at One Fullerton, that pocket of nature amongst the busy cityscape area was my point of respite. I remember looking at Cavenagh bridge once when I was stranded at the Fullerton reception by a thunderstorm, and wondering what sights it must have weathered, what stories it might have stored.
And through last night's conversations I realised that maybe I am not alone in these feelings, that even guys also cherish sweet memories and expectant thoughts of a future with someone special.
We were enacting a 'speed-dating' mass-up between some sporty lasses and laddies in our group - since I was keen to be an observer and eat my ice-cream before Kie finishes it all, we couldn't understand what the hullabaloo was all about. Later, someone was mercilessly teased - he later revealed he had thought of nice places to propose, like the Cavenagh bridge - having a touch of romance sure wows girls in times like these. For me, if I ever go speed dating, I think I will ask questions like, 'Have you ever fallen in love before?' , 'What are the characteristics you look for in a mate?' or just stare into their eyes... hehe, to find out who they really are.
And when I'm lonesome, I find myself having imaginary conversations with a person I hold close to my heart. I wish that his presence could grace my hours more often, the way we used to. I want to whisper, that even though he does not know it, his hands are holding, my heart. That I am the stability factor in his tumultous life, and I forgive everything he has said that has caused me pain, because I know that I can be like that too, in these times. I wonder if he has changed so much by the current circumstances that he does not remember me anymore, that he does not remember my name, or the way we used to talk, without reservations or obligations, that every meeting of us was so important to me- that I felt furious and lost at it being unmaterialised. That although I seem to not be in touch with my feelings I can't understand why I am thrown into this whirlwind of emotions just because I miss him, as if missing him alone was a vital ingredient to rob me of my senses.
And because I am like this, I cannot make his problems my problems, I just need to let things be, 'In His Time'. I am impatient because I love too intensely. If there is any fault, let it be mine, my lonesome heart has held dear the presence of a highly esteemed friend who now means more to me than anything else.
It has been said that every girl's wish is to marry a rich guy - every guy seems to know this. What they don't know is that 'rich' doesn't have to equal $$$; he can be rich in other things - like romance.
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